Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

If you work hard for your money or save up for it or whatever, then what you do with it is your choice. We should all be thankful for the things we have. But we all know that there will always be poverty and such in this world. Unfortunaly it has become a part of this world, and sadly it will stay this way.
But I don't think a person should feel guilty about buying a doll. Thankfully we live where we do, and have a home to go home to. I know that a lot of us have worked hard for what we have. I have always said this, I admire my parents for becoming who they are. Their parents never just gave them money, they have worked hard for every cent they have. And what they do with that is their desicion.
So what you do with your money is your desicion. And you are actually doing more than many people chizzie-shark, you (or your family or whoever it is) sponser(s) a child less fortunate than yourselves.

 

I am in total agreement with SilverWinglie with what they said on the first page.

I see nothing wrong with buying something for yourself. If all of my money is eaten by every day expenses, and I manage to save some for myself, am I supposed to give it away?

The way I see it: There's nothing wrong with taking care of what you need to, getting something you really want for yourself, and helping someone that needs it if you've still got something to spare.

I really can't see myself working a 9-5 job, paying all my bills then giving the extra away without getting something nice for myself with my hard earned money. Life would be exceptionally dull if things really were that way. No extra house decorations, no Chanel No.5, no dolls, no cheesecake for dessert, etc.

I can't see myself feeling guilty if my money is being eaten by every day life, and I've saved for a while to get something that I really want. I really can't.

 

I think it's important to balnce: to give something to others and to give somethnig to your self that you really want. I have worked hard to get the money to buy my dolls, so I don't feel guilty for buying them. Besides, I think it's better to buy a few expensive things that you REALLY want than to buy lots of crap that you will be throwing away the next week. It saves the enviroment

 

I think, if i do the best i can with being environmentally friendly and being a responsible consumer ( no sweat shop goods etc.) then how i spend the rest of my money is entirely up to me, and I shouldnt feel guilty.
but thats just my take on things

 

I am strange with my views on this.

Life is only to be lived for so long - If you live your life regretting not getting something because of a guilt trip what is it worth?

Sure, I mean don't spend money you need to live on on a doll but if it makes you happy and your life that much happier then it is worth every penny. Some people enjoy holidays, some people enjoy nice clothes, how is it any different than a doll? Sure, clothes you can wear and holidays you can remember - but if you treat a doll well it could be with you a very long time. Clothes get worn and memories forgotten.

Perhaps it's a very immature way of looking at things - but I have seen far too many people go with regrets in life. I think it's best to weigh up what makes you feel worse - spending too much money on something that will make you happy or underspending and regretting it later when you may not be able to find it.

 

No. It takes a lot more than just money to adequately help the starving people of the world. There are many things you can do that need your effort more than your money. If you look into other projects besides child sponsoring (which is a very worthy cause and I do it myself, hehe!) you'll see that this is so. And perhaps if your guilt moves you, you'll get involved and do some good.

But what you have to realize is that having a roof over your head, clothes, and adequate food is far more than most people have. If you're going to feel guilt, it should come from the very base. Then channel your guilt into productive ways. Feeling bad about how you spend your spare income is just...meh. When your guilt extends to every bite you eat at supper, why bother? Just turn the guilt into something good rather than looking at your doll and seeing x amount of grain bags.

 

Didn't this thread used to be much longer? Where'd the rest of the thread go? I'm just seeing like five posts.

Edited to add, never mind, there are two copies of the thread and most of the discussion is in the other one. I'll alert the zone mod to merge them. I thought the board ate the rest of the thread.

 

As many have said here, there's only so much you can do for others, and enjoying things earned through hard-work shouldn't be something you should be ashamed of.

But I must admit I do have the occasional guilt trip... which I deal with by giving away a cent for every one spent on a doll

 

It's kinda scary (about the sweat shops) to think that anything so beautiful (such as dolls) could come from such evil...

 

I agree completely with chizzie_shark, allthough this is kinda off topic, a couple once only had about 2 bags of rubbish in 4 years from recycling. Imagine if we all did that it does add up :3 so yeah chizzie has a point.

Back on topic, well I usually loan money for my dolls that I pay back, I only have to pay back one doll now and it hasn't taken long but I do admit Ifeel kinda guilty on the money that technically Im spending, it is an awful lot when I have friends who can't afford much >< But I do give a lot away and recycle...I guess its my way of giving back :3

 

Yes it bothers me. It bothers me greatly >_> Actually it has bothered me so much that I have thought about giving it all up and sell my doll and his clothing and all and let this hobby rest. The waste of money is appalling to me, especially as I have never had much to waste to begin with. My excuse to buy him in the first place was as a combined graduation and Christmas gift, and I wanted to spoil myself for once. He is the most expensive artefact I own (except my books of course… I wonder how many hundred of dollars THAT is), and I have never spoiled myself like this before... The moment I bought him and before he arrived, I was quite appalled at myself for spending money on a doll. A doll for several hundred... it seemed wrong, like the worst type of gluttony. I still struggled with the bad guilt a week after I got him, but then... I started to have so much fun with him. The sewing, pictures, posing and just generally customizing him and making him an exquisite piece of art gave me an immense satisfaction. This has made me less resistant towards spending money on him. I just bought two new wigs on impulse the same day I received his new shoes and carriage bag. I can't afford it, not really, but the first time in my life I have thought "well, we live only once, why not spend some money on him?"

I have been raised to think about other people first. To be able to look at what I have and be appreciative because I have a roof over my head, food on my table and clothes to wear. Of course, my family has always been rather poor, and growing up poor in one of the world's richest countries can be rather tough. You have to teach yourself not to want the expensive things your friends have, you have to make yourself believe it's not you. But arg! Why can't I have this doll without feeling guilt? Without feeling awful for spending so much money when other girls my age have to go into prostitution to keep their family from starving? Yes, it's not my fault they are in that position, and I hear over and over again it's not our responsibility and there is nothing we can do anyway... there's where I have to stop and think "but wait... we ARE responsible!" We, as the rich west, own enough money to be able to greatly help these countries, to invest in a future for someone else who hasn’t the ability to invest in their own. And then I feel awful for wanting a doll... But actually, much less now than in the beginning. I think it is an idea that grows on you. When you have never spoiled yourself, and then suddenly start you get a rather nasty shock. I don't know if it is a good thing that one gets used to unnecessary luxury...

 

I feel guilty for myself sometimes. I should be saving up for when I move to Maui in a few years, but here I am spending penny after penny on this new hobby.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you should be punishing yourself like this. You should be proud of yourself because you care, lots of people don't even have a sponsor child! And because you have a kind heart I'm sure you do lots of other things that help people.

If you feel so guilty, maybe consider getting a second sponsor child? Or maybe look up an organization that you could occasionally donate too?

But buy your dollie, and play with it too.

 

First and foremost, you're completely tuning out the rest of the arguments in this debate.

Way to go with the oversimplication and blanket statements again. Ignore all the other suffering in the world? Are you kidding me?

I think it's disrespectful that you feel that you have a voice in how we spend our money when it really isn't any of your business. And I also find it equally disrespectful that you look down upon people condescendingly who don't spend their money in ways you find appropriate. Applying the logic you have supplied, buying even one doll is completely unnecessary, which makes me wonder why you're even here except to guilt-trip others into how they should spend their money. The fact of the matter is that these dolls are not a necessity and are clearly a luxury good.

The causes I support are different from yours but just because someone doesn't support them does not make them less human. And frankly, saying that you do this-and-that or feel this-and-that doesn't give you the upperhand in debating. I don't feel the need to tout what it is that I do in the course of this debate in order to gain more credibility.

 

I'd just like to comment, like a few people before me, that perhaps instead of feeling guilty about how much the money we spent on our dolls could have bought someone else, we should all think about the fact that throwing money at a problem does not always fix it. I certainly believe that it's a good thing to use your spare money to support those with less of it...but if you really want to help people in third world countries, don't stop at buying them food for a day or school supplies for a year. look into micro-investment, which some theorists are suggesting actually improves the economy of the region, bringing everyone's standard of living up--rather than just helping one person/family/institution for as long as the money lasts. be an informed (and informing--companies won't change if they think you switched products for non-political reasons) boycotter. vote NDP, or Communist, or Democrat, or for whoever you think might share your values and make your home a little better in this respect--and realise that your vote counts, because if people see numbers climbing for a particular group/candidate, they may feel confident enough to join you next time. find out what activist groups in your area are doing to try and change the world, not just spread the $$ around a little differently.

and also: realise that feeling guilty does nothing except make your life unpleasant. make your choice about what to do with your money, and stick to it. don't feel guilty, feel inspired to make change.

 

I do frequently get guilt trips over spending so much money on my dolls, but not because I think I should have given it to charity-- I just like to hoard my money. Even if i didn't spend the money on them, I'd end up spending it on other things... so I always rationalize it by saying something like... Well, instead of buying 380923849203 packs of gum and getting sushi every night from work, I have a doll. That usually makes me okay about it.

And as for the less relevant topic of putting your money towards less fortunate in general... some people choose to, some people choose not to. If someone doesn't do with their money what you'd like them to, it's really no business of yours. but i guess the purpose of a debate is to make personal other people's actions, so nevermind.

 

just seconding this. i was going to delve into all my personal reasons, but you know, its easy to say 'you should help people' but everyone has their own reasons, and yes, this would mean one doll is unnecessary, or anything which would aloow us to express ourselves; purely because its expensive. i make my money. i can make more money. i spend some on dolls. it doesnt mean im a bad person or i ignore suffering

 

I'm agreeing with this portion of honeyedbiscuit's post. I worked hard for my money, I make the choices on how I choose to spend it, and I know that I wouldn't appreciate you, or anyone else, telling me that I should be held accountable for spending my money the way I please.

I don't feel guilty for owning any of the luxury items I buy, including my doll. I don't think I ever need to feel guilty for choosing to spend my money how I want to. I have never given money to a charity, but I have volunteered at Habitat for Humanity. I do my part and spend my money in the way I see fit and no one, absolutely no one has any right, or business, to question me in regards to this.

 

Sorry, double post.