Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

I feel guilty of course, indulging in my own selfish desires...I don't see how I could not feel guilty. Especially with my boy. I just payed $757.50 USD on him, and one of my friends got himself dragged into it. He was going ot pay for half of him, then couldn't, and now I have to bother him oh so often, wondering when his dad will take him to the bank...
I feel really happy to have my boy, but at the same time a b**ch for letting my friend actually attepmt to pay for half of him. Though I thank him everytime I see him, I still feel guilty about it...and even now, I couldn't wait for him to get the money so I owe my mother $366 USD...and seeing that I am a teenager, who can't get a job because people hate me...(don't know why) I just have a even harder time getting it back...and I don't want to make my mom wait 5 months or something for it!

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No guilt trip for me. The amount of money that I can spend on a doll is only a tad over my usual shopping expenses. So instead of shopping myself silly on eBay on things I dont need, I might as well use it on a doll or clothes.

 

I spend 5 days a week working a thankless, underpaid job teaching severely emotionally and behaviorally challenged children—the kids other teachers won't work with because they don't have the coping skills to be anything but abusive. My hobbies are the things that keep me sane enough to walk back into that building every Monday and function in the constant negativity and violence I'm around all day.

I could quit, get a new job with real salary working with "normal" children and give the leftovers to charity instead of buying dolls, but would that make me a better person?

 

I had been ignoring this thread because the title made me think it was yet another whine about parents, but now that I've read the entire thing...

Guilty? I was raised Roman Catholic; I can feel guilty over any damn thing, on command. Guilt has become a meaningless tool for manipulating those who lack self-awareness.

The stated concerns about what our collective financial resources could be "better" spent upon lacks depth. There will always be human suffering in the world. We are overpopulated and our environment can no longer support all of us. The idea that we can spend our way out of this predicament is absurd. Consumption got us here, it's not going to get us out. Choosing what we consume and how we consume it is the best we can do, since clearly none of us are chosing to become ascetics and live entirely off the grid.

I am very aware of the amount of energy and resources that are being spent on supporting my hobby - the materials that make the actual dolls, the jet fuel that speeds them to their homes via EMS, the myriad constantly-changing accessories, the batteries eaten by cameras taking their photos, the endless hours spent online talking about them, all of these things suck up energy. What about lighting and heating the doll workshops? What about the toxic byproducts dumped into the ocean by the textile industry so we can have tiny fake leather shoes? What about the additional burden on the health care system as a result of so many people choosing to spend their free time sitting in front of a computer instead of tending a vegetable garden for those hours? What about all of the extra traffic on the infrastructure of the internet that leads cable companies to threaten Net Neutrality? If you want to feel guilty, you could do your homework and really dig in. When I think about all of the time and effort and energy that goes into getting that one sad, badly photographed little doll into a gallery post only to have people open the thread and go , that is what makes me sad. But I also think that any hobby I don't have a personal interest in, the professional sports industry for example, is a total waste of natural resources and many of them have a far broader impact.

I have no qualms over giving my money to artists whom I admire. It doesn't matter whether I'm buying a painting or a doll, I'm chosing to spend my money to show my appreciation for something beautiful. I would like those individuals to be able to continue creating beauty in the world.
I try to support individual artists by buying from them directly. I buy used items and doll parts whenever possible to avoid wasting new resources. I join group orders to cut down on fuel used in shipping. I recycle shipping materials. I buy high quality items so that I'm satisfied with them the first time and don't have to spend more energy searching for that ephemeral "perfect" thing. I do a lot of other things to lessen my environmental impact on the world, but those aren't specifically doll related and have no place in this discussion.

As for the supposed "excess" of buying dolls expensive accessories, I find that doll owners rarely exceed the value of the doll in purchasing individual items for them. For example, to my knowledge, I have never sold a $60 piece of jewelry to the owner of a $125 doll. Owners of $3000 dolls don't even blink at spending $300, however. Most people outside the hobby might think it highly eccentric to buy a diamond necklace for a doll, but would also probably think that the diamonds themselves are a better investment than the doll. Certainly, real gold and silver items will hold their value for longer than a 1/3 scale BTSSB dress, so why is that considered "excessive'?

 

It's not like my lifestyle is that of a Rotschilds or Buffet family

 

(please excuse my horrible spelling x_x)

We can debate over the value of giving money to the poor and needy for long hours and somehow, more often then not, this idea comes down to sending money/food/whatever else over seas to the "less fortunate." For some unknown reason many people fail to grasp that there are people in their own country that are starving to death. There are children here, in America that arn't sure where their next meal is comming from. It isn't because their parents are losers, or because they arn't working hard, but they still get the bad reputation.

When I was growing up, I was one of those children. It wasn't until I was about 15 that my mother and I had a place to live and food to eat on a regular basis and it was hard work that got us there. That is the american dream. People can work hard to improve their living conditions. We owe much of that to the puritans.

The point is, don't feel guilty about spending the money you worked hard for. There really isn't a point to the feelings. If you want to help, look within your own country before branching out. Try Americorp or some of the other government programs trying to educate and help the poor that exist in the masses here but don't feel bad for working to get what you want. There is nothing wrong with that.... now... if you were stealing the money, or manipulating people to get it, that would be a whole different ethical debate.

 

I feel so much better after reading this. My brother also told me the same thing (he's only 14 but very smart), that I shouldn't feel bad about spending too much money on my dolls because I work hard for it and that I should buy things that make me happy

 

I never feel guilty about anything I buy because I usually weigh out the pros and cons of every "luxury" that I spend my money on. This usually lasts hours to days, sometimes even an entire year.
There was a time that I harshly judged other people for spending a lot of money on things that they could survive without. However, as I got older, and took an economics class in high school, I learned that the world wouldn't function without people like that. Spending money makes the economical world go round!~
After all, what would happen if everyone stopped spending and just sat on their money... think of all the chain reactions that are put into motion.

 

I just had a huge guilt trip because I had to pay $760 at the doctor that the insurance wouldn't cover, and i thought 'oh, that's why she was so horrified by how much a doll cost'. Then it made me really depressed, but at least my dolls make me happier than my shots.

 

Uh, the Buffett lifestyle is far from extravagant. Have you even done your research before bringing up this "point" in debate?

And even if someone is wealthy, he/she doesn't necessarily spend their fortune in a manner similar to certain socialites. :eyeroll:

 

Life is short.. do what makes you happy with the money you worked hard to earn. That is of course providing that it A) doesn't hurt others, and B) isn't taking away from things you need to live (food, rent, etc).

I do other stuff to help the less fortunate. Like we give old clothes to the homeless shelter, and we volunteer in a soup kitchen a few times a month. I volunteer at the local library after work running a young adult program. Etc... etc..

There are ways to give back to the community and help the less fortunate that don't involve giving up the money that you worked hard to earn so that you can be happy yourself.

I hope I got my point across (i'm bad at explaining my point of view sometimes).

 

funny...I'm having this battle with myself right now. I don't feel guilty how much I'm spending exactly....I worked hard and saved this all seperate from my real job that pays my bills and I can still pay my bills, but now I have enough to buy my boy and the guilt is coming because I also what a Cintiq tablet and I have to start paying $100 a month in rent.....it won't be a problem for hopefully a couple months, but I'm having trouble finding a full time job or a second job so I'm worried what will happen in the future and that makes me feel guilty. That I'm buying this for me and I may not be able to give my parents money....sigh.....:rders him anyway::

 

it's all about priorities isn't it.
Its either that branded handbag or a new doll. As you can guessed, I picked the 'doll'.

Surprising there was no guilt trip for me when I bought my two tinies, as I worked and saved hard, hence, they are my reward.

 

I'm not a cold-hearted person, but I don't feel guilty at all. I think what blackwingsblackheart said rings true to me - "Your personal choices need to come out of a place of joy and open-heartedness, not guilt and "should-ism." If you feel guilty for spending money on something that would give you happiness, you may slowly become resentful or even bitter about the donations you feel you have to make to cure your guilt."

In the end, I worked hard for my money and I will spend it on things that I want and will make me happy. If I want to donate it to charity, then I will. If I want to buy a BJD, then that's what I'll do.

 

I think Blackwingsblackheart sums this one up perfectly Certainly, spending on dolls is influenced by our upbringing as is the level of guilt involved. I grew up with a family who spent alot of money collecting antique glass and these pieces became an integral part of memories of childhood very far removed from starving third world communities.

As a performer and artist the sense of balance is acute, In circus i usually find that myself and other artists spend alot of time giving hope and laughter to those much less fortunate and watching the joy spread out in a healing way to those who have need to escape into the realms of magikal and fairtale.
We are amazingly lucky to be able to induldge this passion for our dolls and as long as we know this and give blessings for this then the balancecan be found.

In the last few weeks i spent au $800 on doll things and donated $1000 to a Peruvian orphans charity, These dolls lift my heart and soul, That money gives many children medical treatment. No,i don't feel guilty.

 

There are a lot of things we buy, not just dolls, instead of 'taking care of the less fortunate'. We could all go without books or games or a second set of sheets for our bed, but in the end its about making yourself happy. Pursuit of happiness and all that.

There should be no guilt about buying something you saved for unless you NEED something else. Sure I can get all thoughtful wondering what if I had bought the computer instead of the doll or what if I had gone on a book shopping spree, but I don't feel guilty unless I can't meet my commitments or have to borrow money for something.

 

Of course i feel guilty. It's horrible to see all those thin, thin african children. But i don't think it's worse than buying underpants for 200$ or something ^___^
I actually don't spend that much money, so i think its okay.

Sorry for my baad bad english ^^

 

I grew up in a family without much money, we lived much more simply than most Americans.

So yes, I felt very guilty about getting my first doll, even though she was only $200. That was an incredible sum of money to spend on a luxury item, for me. But then again, i felt guilty buying myself new socks, or anything that didn't seem absolutely necessary for many years, you know?

It was more about feeling OK spending that money on something that made me happy, when I had spent so long feeling like I could never spend money on myself.

As for speaking of "starving children in third world countries" in the abstract, that's all well and good, but mind you, many of the charities that are based around child sponsorships - less than a few cents out of that thirty dollars will ever make it to support that child or their village. The rest goes back into running the organization's first world offices and into marketing. The most effective charities put their resources into changing government policies, and building infrastructure, and helping starving people start their own businesses by giving them loans and teaching them marketable skills.

Money by itself can only do so much. And quite frankly, I get a little suspicious of any organization that asks me to hand over a check, and not worry about where it goes after that. I can write a check to an organization that claims to stop world hunger in third world countries, but after that check is cashed, I have no idea where it goes.

When I spend a hundred dollars buying groceries, and take it straight to the food bank down the street, or donate a piece of land to a community garden, or offer to pay for school trips at the local grade school for children who can't afford to go on their own, then I see immediately the change that has been made. It's in my own community, it's not abstract. I have taken direct responsibility for creating change.

I do give money to selected charities, but I am careful to research how that money is spent and how sustainable their programs are beforehand. The suffering in this world could be considered infinite. That doesn't mean that we should not try to make things better, but it does mean that we are limited in what we can do while still caring for ourselves. So we must choose what we want to do in a small, but focused way.

And the rest of the money I have earned, if it goes to something that brings me joy, whether it is a doll or a dance class or a nice dinner with my friends, then it is money well spent because it has brought more joy into the world. And that should be guiltless.