Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

hmm. You bring up many interesting points, chizzie_shark.
I do not mean to seem cold, but I often wonder when people feel guilty about these things, if their hobby does not put them into debt or take time away from their friends and family, what the harm is in it. When does the guilt stop?

My parents were very religious and as a child I did a lot of religious fasting. It was a valuable experience, but now that I look back, was it right for us to starve ourselves as a family to show compassion for those who had no food. did it alleviate suffering in the world? No. After a point, it just created more needless hunger. Still, it made it hard to pick up a piece of bread without feeling guilty because someone, somewhere didn't have any. When you say you want to live for others, how do you balance that view with the fact that human beings are born with the instinct to survive at all costs, to live for ourselves? What makes the lives and wellbeing of others more valuable than your own?

It is an honest question. I'm curious as to how and where you draw the line between what makes you happy and what is considered excessive or just pure consumerism.

 

Sometimes I want to feel guilty but I try to buy my dolls responsibly and maintain some sort of balance so that I can fully enjoy the entire process. That said.. it is hard to restrain sometimes!

 

i see what people mean. my first doll isn't even here yet, and i'm already planning not only my next purchase for her, but my next doll(s)!! it's exciting to think about, but its best to really take the time to think about a big purchase before making it.

 

I do not feel guilty about purchasing dolls. They are well thought out purchases (some have been gifts to me from my hubby). I've worked my way up in my job and have been there a long time. All my bills get paid and my real children get their needs met well before I allocate money to dolls. I save up any necessary funds after all the family needs are met.

I have also seen enough "welfare" recipients wasting their opportunities or just ignoring opportunities because they wish not to do what was required to become productive people. We as a family, prefer to do things we feel work better. We have always tried to lend a hand to friends in need of a hand to get through a hard time. We donate clothes. My children will all jump in to help someone with something. I see way to much waste in the big charities to give them any of my cash (and I've been on the end of asking some of those same charities for help and did better helping myself).

So I feel no guilt at working hard to purchase those things I wish to own.

 

Theres nothing little me and little you can do about all the starving people of the world. However much i CANT STAND watching people waste food, water, electricity and stuff, i dont feel much guilt buying luxury items. I dont mind buying things i know i will treasure, just that i cant stand people wasting.

 

Very interesting topic... I don't think you should feel guilty, unless you could have paid rent or a bill off with the funds. Your hobby is something you should enjoy, not to feel guilty about. I don't have children, yet I sponsor two girls in third world countries and during the holidays, I try to donate extra money. I work 6 six days every other week which means I'm away from home and my family of a husband and furbabies. They understand, but there are days that I don't feel I like my job and I need to justify my hard work with a doll purchase every so often. Nutshell version, I go to work to earn the $$ to purchase an item I've had my eye on, be it a doll, clothes, food items, etc. Just my two cents to add to the group...

 

You know, this is the once problem I've having with this hobby. I really enjoy it, but I see all the money I sink into it and I feel bad. I'm not sure why, maybe the more practical side of me takes over and I think I could have better spent that money, somewhere else, surely. But I also think everyone should be a little spoiled once in a while, we all work hard for our money and as long as we pay due to our responsibilities, we should be free to spend it as we wish. I do give money to charity every month, it's about $40. I don't miss it, and it assuages my guilt a little .

 

No, I don't feel guilty after making big purchases (be it a doll, a computer piece etc.) As long as I have paid off my priority bills, like rent, put some for savings and others - I should'nt feel bad about being able to enjoy the money that I worked hard for.

And knowing how mentally, emotionally and physically stressful my current job is - I appreciate what I buy a whole lot more. In fact, my job is so stressful right now, my department manager (upon seeing the DoD I wanted to buy) actually told me to "Go for it!"

 

As someone who has came from an impoverished country I don't feel guilty about spending money on dolls, the reason is because what I do to help the community, I volunteer at soup kitchens and at local places that need volunteers. You don't have to spend money on someone else to make a difference, but you shouldn't feel guilty for spending your own money on a luxury every once in a while.

 

If you earned the money legitly, why should you feel guilt?

 

I never guilt trip myself. I always get guilt tripped by my step-mother. I just turned 16, and am looking for a job. Whenever my Father helps me pay for something, she will say something like "You're so spoiled!" or "You don't work hard enough for your toys!" those kinds of things TT^TT Now, I never ever never did good in school! Since I was very little, I never succeeded. And I only get spoiled once every two years~ I've been guilt tripped about almost everything by that women, so I try to not let it effect me too much~

I cannot wait for the day when I am away from everyone.
Angsty, I know xD​

 

I constantly struggle with guilt trips over my dolls. I only have my mom really and she doesn't mind that I spend my money on them. She actually thinks it's a good thing for me to be in this hobby and have something I like. I've just always had problems spending money ... especially since my family is prone to random financial emergencies (tons of family members with tons of medical problems).

 

I dont feel guilty, Not one iota, Having worked with many charitable organisations over the years, very many in my 44 years, I can tell you that a vast majority of the money donated does not go directly to the people who need it, it is swallowed up in "expenses",I dont give money anymore, I give of myself, I volunteer for many causes and that way I can see that what I do is helping.We cant change what goes in in other countries, they are led by their own governments rules and their own beliefs and traditions.
I work hard to buy "luxuries" and I pay 40% of that over in taxes to keep people who choose not to work, so no, I do not feel at all guilty in spending my money on what I want.

 

I wouldn't feel guilty about it. The amount you spend on the doll goes to the wages of someone else out there in the world, and ensure that the said person still has a job to do.

 

I'm a college student, paying my taxes and fees and rent (in SF) on 10K/year. That 10k barely pays my basic living.
I take plush and wig commissions. With every $1000-2000 saved, I allow myself to start saving for a doll. I'm at the point where I have $1000 and am not touching it
So, if I work this hard to just get by, I feel like I deserve to reward myself after saving some. No guilt because I'm saving at the same time.

 

I try not to think about things like that honestly. I suppose that, that makes me a bad person, but I try not to dwell on that ether lol

I do feel bad when I think about how I'm saving up for a $500 doll when I should be saving up back up money for when I have my own place next year... But that's next year, and I'm going to be starting a job in a few days so that I can save up for both my next doll and for my car insurance, then whatever's left would go towardsmy place next year.

I just wished that I was a little better at school, that way I could at least say "Well, I work hard at school so I deserve it"

 

I try to live my life in a responsible way & hope to leave a positive footprint of my time on this planet. I don't feel guilty about the $ I spend on dolls. I hope that my small contribution to doll sales helps someone put food on the table for their family.

 

I have just ordered my first ABJD and feel guilty already for spending so much on it when there are more practical things I could have bought. BUT I am already planning on what doll to buy next!

I am a stay-at-home-mum and don't have a lot of spending money apart from what I make from my teddy bear sales. But I just think we need to spoil ourselves sometimes and if it brings joy into our lives I say why not.

 

I just spent way more money on a doll than I ever thought I would. But I'm also moving soon and selling everything that isn't nailed down, plus lots of other small sacrifices (not getting fast food, not going out for drinks, not allowing myself trips to my favorite thrift stores) really add up. It's all about how you handle it. If you have problems with self control and impulse buying, then you have to be a lot more careful about what you spend money on and when. If you're good at budgeting and can go without getting a drink at the local coffee shop every day (as an example...) go for it!

 

I know that I feel guilty about it. I haven't even made my first dolly purchase yet. Although, I really want one. I'm, personally, about to make the jump into that final relationship. I have no clue how I want to tell my other "oh by the way, I reaaaaaaaally want to buy a five hundred dollar doll. Are you okay with that??" I think that if it was just me I could sit down and just enjoy the fact I recieved my doll. But having to explain why I just spent my money on a doll is weird. I know he wouldn't really say anything if I did it. I do know that he would believe that money could have been better spent on better things. I'm currently in such indecision about it all.

On the lighter side of this all, I had to debate buying a ten dollar tea kettle in my own head. I have issues.