Dolls being your crutch - (Dolls and support)

I have a lot of stress in my life, and my dolls help me decompress. They are just soothing to fiddle with, changing clothes & wigs, posing them, etc. Plus they kick start my imagination and I have fun creating & expanding backstories for them.

 

My job can be very stressful at times, and I have found that I gravitate to my dolls after particularly stressful days after work. Taking them out and doing a little photoshoot eases my stress and anxiety drastically. I always knew I enjoyed BJD photography, but I never really used it as a stress relief until just a couple months ago. Taking my dolls out, looking at things for them, dressing them, and writing about them are all things that I find relaxing and things that I enjoy. My main crutch is my fiancé though, he knows what makes me feel better and will encourage me to take a doll out, bake with him, take me out for ice cream or dinner, etc.

 

BJD let me express my style and character. Being a heavier person it makes it hard to buy cute clothes. I feel like I can dress my dolls up in cute clothes and express my personality with them.
I love spending my time planing outfits and creating each dolls own style...

 

Not long after I got my first BJD, my coworkers noticed a change in my behavour, that I became more easygoing and accepting and happy. They used to joke that my doll was my therapist! Eventually I came up with a couple of actual therapist characters in my doll family, I love having them.

Even if I'm not with them, I love thinking about their characters and their stories, and that relaxes me and makes me happy too. As other people have mentioned, just changing their clothes and wigs and taking their pictures, or just being around them, is therapeutic. If they are crutches, they are good-for-me crutches!



My therapist, Trevor.

Linda S.
galatia9

 

Hmm, I suppose for me, sometimes my dolls are a nice crutch and sometimes they are a harmful crutch, and I kinda have to be constantly aware of that xD;

For my anxiety, they've been exceedingly helpful, since anxiety is all about jedi mind tricks. Holding them and fiddling around with them helps me calm down. I can't really explain why, except that sometimes if you've watched a horror movie and you're taking a shower at night, it's nice to have a doll there to watch for ghosts even when you're an adult lmao It's like that, but with everyday anxiety. I also have a character who's very stoic, so when I'm having a panic attack in public I like to picture him telling me bluntly but not unkindly that there's no reason to be freaking out. Surprisingly, it helps a lot xD It's helpful to imagine a character saying these things, I guess, because when I say them to myself I'm just mean to myself.

For my depression, however, my dolls are an easy trap to fall into. It's so, so easy to go the escapism route, you know? I can waste away hours doing doll things or thinking up doll stories. And that's not healthy when I'm depressed and avoiding my responsibilities. It can help my mood, but that's just the tip of the iceberg in my depressed modes. It's much more healthy for me to get out and about even if it's painful, you know?

So dolls are helpful in some ways, harmful in other ways, just like anything I suppose. It's interesting reading other people's experiences

 

My husband is military. He is away sometimes, and having something to focus on helps me cope with being alone. We also move a lot. I started collecting while living in this state, and it helped me make a bunch of wonderful friends. I used to hate moving, and there is still the sadness of leaving friends behind and uprooting our life, but now I can look forward to new doll adventures with new people, no matter where I end up. This is a very comforting thought.

I also have been needing a creative outlet for quite some time now. My father is an artist, a very good one. When I was a child, he did wood etching and he also helped me with clay projects and such. I got 100% of his artistic passion, and -10% of his artistic ability. I can't even begin to express how frustrating it is to want to create art, but to be unable to locate the "creative juices" and/or talent to do so. I have always been an epic failure in the world of artistic ability. I am hoping to find my calling in the world of doll art. I can be creative with dolls. Give me a blank piece of paper and tell me to draw something unique and creative, and you will receive a blank stare and perhaps a poorly-drawn cat face. Give me a blank doll and tell me to create a unique and interesting character for it, and you will get just that.

 

I rediscovered dolls after my second daughter was born - and shortly after that, my parents' marriage abruptly ended. It was AWFUL, and so has the subsequent high levels of disrespect and neglect he's given me (e.g. last year I got five written sentences from him. That's the sum total contact I, his only child, was worth to him. Seriously???) - but my (off-topic) doll collecting and restoring gave me another outlet and a new community to be a part of (and lets be honest, be distracted by) at any time, even in the middle of the night when I was feeding the baby etc. The new connections, the joy of restoration and creating something beautiful either on the doll or in taking them out to take beautiful photos which I could in turn take back to my doll community and share - yeah, it's an expressive emotional outlet. Of course, the flip side is the risk of relying on them too much and ignoring the people/tasks around you that could also help/need to be worked on.

 

Haha no. I'm very grounded. I mean in terms of imagination and being able to take time out of the daily grind to appreciate something for its artistic aesthetic. Not delving deep into a world of my own imagination!

 

I used to share dolls with my cousin when I was a child, we were the same age and she lived with us because her mother was very ill and in a hospital for a few years. Eventually she was taken away by her father after a custody battle and adopted. We lost contact for a long time. It was all very traumatic and kind of a taboo subject growing up, the adults did not want to talk about her or what happened and I never played with my dolls after she was gone as they just reminded me of how much I missed her. As an adult I eventually saw a therapist and came to terms with it all and eventually just found myself collecting dolls. At first I went out and bought all the old 70's dolls that we had as children but it gradually evolved. It's like I picked up where I left off once I had managed to understand why the dolls had stopped bringing up painful memories.

So I don't see them as a crutch at all, but I design toys and gifts for a living and it's good having that imaginative connection to my childhood self. I am not embarrassed by my doll collection but then I never carry them round or sleep with them near the bed or anything "child like" like that. They are just beautiful figurines to me.

 

My first doll actually reminds me a lot of my cat, who has been with me since I was 6, and he's very old and sick and likely won't be around much longer. Having the doll is comforting to me because it gives me something to take care of and keep me company.

I'm also chronically ill so I don't get to do much, but having a doll has helped encourage me to get out more and do more things even if they're difficult for me to do.

 

I don't really have a lot close friends, so I guess I do kind of rely on dolls to keep me company. Making stories for them and customizing them makes me feel less alone tbh

 

It's lovely to hear about how dolls have helped people in their lives. For me it's good to have something to look forward to, and something external to focus on.

 

I suffer with M.E, Anxiety and Depression. I can't work and I have no social life beyond the Internet. My dolls have given me a reason to get up every day, they comfort me when I'm anxious. They give me an outlet for creativity by sewing/knitting for them. Before they came into my life I was lost, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self harmed daily, but they've changed that.

 

At the moment, I spend most of my time on my own. Having my BJDs around me, like tonight, helps a lot. I cannot wait to have a better job and better prospects.

 

I have been overweight my entire life. I have zero family and friends. The only people I have in my life that love me is my husband of 11years and my 2 children. I am very shy, nervous and awkward around other people. Feels like it is impossible to make friends. I always watch my husband make friends so easily. Talks to everyone. I am no where near as bad as I was when I was a teen, he has helped me come out of my shell a lot of the years. He works a lot. My son is 9 and is always at school or outside with friends. My daughter is 16 months. I have no one to talk to. I get lonely. It is nice to have dolls that I can bond with. I feel insipired by them and want to start sewing. It is just a nice feeling to have something of my own, all mine. I like to be holding a doll, brushing her hair, changing clothes, while I am at the desk at the computer. Just really comforting. My grandma who passed away really loved dolls and would always buy me dolls when I was younger...having dolls again reminds me of her which is nice as well.

 

I've been going through some rough times, and my dolls have helped a little bit. I recently placed an order for some clothes for them, and knowing that that's being made and that I need to do some blushing helps me keep going. None of my dolls are 100% finished yet but I want them to look as nice as possible, and working on that helps me feel better.

 

I think I've used them as a crutch in both negative and positive ways. I was in a bit of a funk when I started getting into BJD in the first place. I was really in a bad place emotionally, and I spent all kinds of money on getting more and more stuff. Between BJD, other dolls, and other possessions, I was dangling dangerously close to what might be considered a hoarding situation. At that point, I become completely overwhelmed. I managed to recognize my dangerous behavior and made appropriate changes, and diminished my collection to a point where now I enjoy them in a more positive way. Now I tend to look at them with happiness, and enjoy interacting with them. This weekend I sewed for one, and it really calmed me down from being upset over some things that happened the day before.

 

I personally suffer from anxiety, and for me, my dolls are a way of escaping for a while. I find that being around them is really calming and does help my anxiety when it's in full force.

 

I can see my dolls being a creative outlet, and it's just a fun and engrossing distraction to fiddle around with them. The only negative parts are the costs that can come with such a hobby, so that has to be kept in balance with other priorities. As delightful as they can be for me and as much as I'd like to spend more time with them, a full-time job and other concerns get in the way. I have taken a long hiatus from them, but hope that I can begin to carve more time out for bjds as I slowly get back into the hobby.

 

My dolls are very much a comfort for me. They are one of the few things that I keep rock steady in my life. No matter what happens good or bad, happy or sad they stay the same and for that I am great full.