Dolls, Desire, and the Perception of Reality

surreality, I love you.

On another note:

I have a very good perception of reality. Reality hits you hard when you're considred a minority, even though I'm a white cacuasian living in Eastern Ontario, I have a very unique face that usually got me a lot of flack when I was growing up simply because I'm different. (facial birthmark, and not a small one).

It's surprising that I love the dolls so much, considering my general dislike, distrust, and/or hatred of almost every human being I have ever met. (until I started getting into more closely knit communities like my Anime Society or the BJDs)

I attribute my dolls and their personalities to the portions of my inner self that either aren't socially accepted, or I was never able to express because of the cruely of others and fear of being ridiculed further for my uniqness. They are a physical manifestion of myself, my feelings, dreams, woes, trials, expressions, aspirations, and creativity.

They give me an outlet for my creative, artistic, and crafty nature. I can design their clothes, faces, hair, do photography and art. They're just so wonderful to someone like me. Not to mention, they also provide a community of people who have similar interests and understand that uniqness is a rare quality.

I don't think it's just the dolls, it's the community as well. They don't alter our perception of reality, they show us a new reality. A reality where people can get along with the same hobby regardless of age, race, gender, phyiscal looks or abilites. To me, the BJD is a sign of peace and cooperation, of love and understanding and tolerance.

People who call them creepy, feminine, girly-boy, or yaoi dolls, are just ignorant and intolerant of anything different from the norm. I have to admit, the first time I saw one, I had this image of adults playing with barbies, but I joined the forum to see what it was about. After some time, I slowly warmed up to the BJD and the artistic qualities it possessed; then I discovered the community behind it and fell completely in love.

As I mentioned earlier, I'm a standard white female, two of the five dolls I want to buy are tanskin, and personally, I'm upset that I can't get a more commonly dark tan; I'm not talking chocolate/milk chocolate, but something just a little darker than the normal tan and not quite as yellow looking. (See avatar).

I am a yaoi fan; I draw yaoi, write yaoi, rp yaoi. Yes, my characters are more effemininet males, three of the five are homosexuals. One is a vampire, three are angels (one angelic-demon: See Santheas: AS Gavin). I have one, normal, human, male (though still feminine to a degree); Icarus, a japanese-european mix. He has pale skin, short spiked hair, wears manly clothes, act like a man, hates other men (relationship wise), love women, isn't emotional, is totally badass but still gentlemanly when needed. He's a normal guy who just takes care of himself and knows what he wants (which I think would be a nice quality in a man). Icarus is a kind of representation of what I like to see in a normal guy.

~Sei

 

My dolls are parts of me, different aspects of my personality characterized, and some others are the same thing for people that surround me (ie one of my meant-to-be dolls is a characterization of my sister's love for nature).

I don't think I'm living an idealized life through my doll more than the other way around.

But I do get annoyed at the fact I think i saw more gay male dolls than straight ones. It *does* strike me as being... a lot of things, anyway.

 

But if you thought you saw more straight male than gay dolls would it bother you?
If you thought you saw more girls than boys, or boys than girls?
Unless it's a romantic photostory, do you actually know for sure what the character's preference even is--or is the assumption based on something more nebulous like clothing/faceup style?

I'm asking, because doll world is not the same as human world so demographics or real world norms don't necessarily come into play here the way they would in reality. In fact, these dolls give people the outlet to dress them in ways or have their characters behave in such a way that they wouldn't be able to do so easily if they were real people. From my own view point, allowing my dolls to depart from real world norms gives the opportunity to explore different things and let my imagination really run wild and that's not a bad thing. I can tell the difference between the real world and the doll world, and I feel pretty safe in thinking that most healthy adults can too. I don't want to be restricted in my imaginary doll world as I am in the real world just because it might annoy somebody, and part of playing is using your imagination and letting go of what's real (for a little while, anyway )

As for anything that appears in the gallery--the gallery is a much more varied place than it tends to get credit for. There's just so much there, that it can take some work if you're looking for something specific. It does, however, have it's share of manly men as well as feminine men, girly girls, tomboys, adults, children, cute cuddly animals, animals that aren't so cute and cuddly looking, big dolls, small dolls, dolls who smoke, dolls who play musical instruments, dolls with hats, dolls with sneakers, dolls in kimonos, dolls with goth faceups, zombies, hit men, gangsters, lovers, elven princes and pricesses etc etc and on and on as far as the human imagination can carry us--and that in my mind, is what's so damn cool about DoA and this hobby in general.

 

Why should it annoy you? As Taco said, there are numerous types of dolls and doll personas on DoA and in the hobby in general, but it's still a hobby with a limited demographic and it IS still a fantasy-based hobby (fantasy meaning general make-believe, rather than the specific genre). And even if there is a prevalence of gay male dolls at any one given time, that's not to say that it's wrong or bad. So why should it annoy you that you saw more gay dolls than straight dolls? Perhaps it's just that there happen to be more gay photostories right now, not that there are more gay dolls.

I don't think, personally, that there's a problem with having gay dolls. (I can't help but think of the South Park episode where Stan's dog is gay....) Having gay dolls shouldn't and usually doesn't mean that there's some sort of moral failing in your personality, or that you've got some sort of character flaw that prevents you from being "normal." Having a gay doll just means that you have a gay doll--whether it's an OC or a doll based on another character. I think what your argument stems from is a belief that there's something inherently wrong with being gay--there isn't.

Dolls are very much part of the realm of imagination, fantasy, and make-believe. These dolls are a physical manifestation of inner creative and imaginative forces in our own minds--they're not always meant to represent hard reality, or even what the owner WANTS to be real. And even if we do apply some moral or social norms to the hobby, whose do we choose? There are people from all countries who are interested in this hobby, and I'm sure that what's morally or socially acceptable in China or Australia or France isn't going to be acceptable in Brazil or Norway or America.

 

The funny thing is, I'm straight as straight can be and my boys are either gay or bi. One of the reasons why they're that way is because I do like yaoi. But what amazes me is how so many people are mad and saying how this doesn't represent real gay men. Well, it's not suppose to! Yaoi is a fantasy made by women for women. This is why there are pretty boys in a lot of yaoi. It's not real and it lets people, mostly women, fantasize about pretty men. So I don't know why people get so heated about yaoi... *shrugs*
Back to about my dolls, I don't really see through them They are just another hobby that I enjoy. I know my doll's story are just that, a story, nothing else. The reality I live in, is with my family and my dogs. I train my two GSDs with 13+ titles combined in both AKC and Schutzhund. I go to many AKC shows and am working on my 3 year old GSD, Isa's RAE and CDX titles. That, is my reality. My doll's reality and the real world reality are seperate. Heck, Aki's a 200 year old vampire!
One simple reason as to why two of my dolls are from Germany, is well, I own two German Shepherds. The breed was created there in the 1900's. So that is one influence from real life to doll life.

 

I think dolls can be whatever their owners want them to be. The only BJD hobbyist I know who has an altered perception of reality is my best friend. XD And I say that with love. The thing is, she isn't really antisocial, or believe that the rest of the world is fake and her dolls are the only real things, or anything potentially dangerous. She just views the world in a slightly different way than most people. She still functions just fine in the world at large, so there isn't any problem.

As for me, I think my perception of reality is just fine. I will have one gay male character doll, but only because I absolutely love him and his character just happens to be gay (well, technically he's bi, but since he's madly in love with another guy and won't ever consider dating anyone else, he's considered gay by the world at large). I do not enjoy yaoi. I don't like fanfiction, of yaoi or any other variety. I have gay male characters who I love, but that's the limit of my love for gay men. Only my characters are included. Do I think other people are evil for loving yaoi? Hell no. My best friend loves yaoi. XD I don't really get it, but it's her thing. I have huge issues with fanfic for completely different reasons, but I try not to judge people who like it.

I guess my opinion is just "live and let live." If I find something I don't like, I just steer clear of it to the best of my ability. I try not to go in and tell people who do enjoy it that they're wrong and evil.

 

I'm relatively new to dolls, and i find it EXTREMELY interesting that doll owners raise such problems as these.... the whole argument, for instance, that the typical homosexual doll couple is an untrue, effeminate stereotype is... strange. I'm not passing any judgments here, i'm just fascinated by the different points everyone is making. These are dolls- the pinnacle of aesthetics, whatever your aesthetic might be. Not only does this seem to adhere to the look of the dolls, but what personalities you find entrancing. In my opinion, you can say if you like or dislike something, but it is difficult to say whether something is right or wrong... for example, many people might like to take photos of pretty flowers. Sure. flowers are fine- i like them, but what i really really love are photos of rusted metal and peeling paint. Some people might find rust an eyesore, but i like it.

I see these dolls as a very specific form of art, and I treat them as such- all the same sort of old art arguments (people who think pretty ruffled creations are the pinnacle vs. people who like heavy gore mods, ect ect) are applicable to these dolls. I see this sort of split appears to be common in the doll community, and because of most people's attachments to these strange, beautiful objects, tempers and passions and opinions may run quite high.

I, myself, have disliked dolls all my life, with only a few exceptions. For many years I knew about BJDs, but unwisely decided they couldn't be for me because of a type of anime aesthetic that i am not fond of. I did, however, get drawn in when I saw larger male dolls. Being forced to play with dolls by childhood friends, i always chose ken, but felt disappointed in him somehow- and perhaps, this interest in BJDs is part of that glimmer of affection I felt towards the male dolls and surly action figures of my childhood... the dolls are CLOSER to my ideal male figure (close... not exact. that's what my art is for). Many people are into this hobby, it seems, for a plethora of different reasons, and i find it surprising that some seem to think that more realism needs to be applied. This hobby is largely founded on fantasy.

Personally, my immediate thought is to create characters whose lives i find appealing and interesting. I am not romance-driven in the real world, but sometimes these characters might be, at least partially. A doll that was a realistic copy of myself or some normal little couple would not be interesting to me. I may want to create a homosexual sort-of couple, but i find people's strong feelings against homosexual doll couples they find "unrealistic", strange. So... is a gay couple who are more "realistic" (personality and looks wise) but also happen to be a vampire and and elf ARE more realistic than an effeminate gay human couple where one sometimes likes to wear a dress?... i'm confused here, as both are, when it comes down to it... dolls.
Fantasy.
I don't see why realism should enter the picture unless you want it to.

I feel like i'm on the playground again and someone is saying " NOooO! elephants can't FLY! They don't eat PONIES, they eat plants!" when someone wants to do something that may, indeed not be entirely based on fact.

As far as gay couples and the whole dressing in dresses issue goes- i was around gay men all my life. The couples i knew often DID have a more effeminate partner, and sometimes both were queenish and effeminate. One of the couples i knew growing up were particularly like that, and one of them used to do HUGE oil paintings of lipstick and shoes and, well... pretty men in dresses. One of my best childhood memories is being bored as a young teenager at an adult-occupied birthday party, and a nice gay guy coming over and keeping me company, and we gossiped and giggled more girlishly than i did with any friends back home. I have always loved gay couples, and thought them sweet and often tragic, (and i liked yaoi because of this), and really very inspiring, as far as my artwork goes, but i will not be making a gay couple because of yaoi, even if it might be a factor (does that make any sense?). These dolls do not fit into my ideals for men or girls 100%... and if i do manage to make male dolls that look like my paintings... eeek.... i think many people would run, doll-lovers or not- i don't think many people will share my taste. I'm notorious for liking to draw disturbing-looking men at every opportunity possible.

Again, i'm not passing judgments- no-one be offended, please, and just... i don't know, write me off as someone new if you have to. i find everyone's points are usually valid. This is an EXTREMELY entertaining discussion to read, and I apologize for my probably unwanted post, but I felt inclined to comment- a rare happening. I am heartened by the fact that for the most part, everyone seems very mature and well-spoken... I was not sure what I was getting into as far as this community goes, but this gives me a lot of hope.
I will continue to read, observe, and enjoy.

 

I see a lot of people say that they're trying to personify their characters from stories or ones that have been in their head. I see dolls as more of a creative outlet, but I'm sure people do try to personify things that they wish were real.

 

I think that dolls are like different parts, or phacets(sp?) of the owner, or at least thats what it is for me. I understand that different people=different reason to like a particular doll. It really depends on the owner.

 

Whilst I do try to capture a certain amount realism within my character details I do see the dolls themselves (as phsyical objects) as dolls, and thus not necessarily needing to confrom to reality in a very exact sense. I think dolls usually tend to be an over exageration of one characteristic which sparked off the idea for the character, even if they're then fleshed out later. Sometimes a doll just gives off a certain 'vibe' when it arrives - Seraphine, for instance, actually kicked me every time I put her in pants. The fact that she always wears a skirt is just her character, and not really a definition of what I think all women are/should be.

On the subject of portraying what we want to be real, or our dolls being components of us - most definitley yes. I'd love the world to be full of tall skinny men with black hair, or kind sensible people, and I'd adore being able to wear the fluffy fancy dresses Seraphine wears (but something just stops me - it's not my 'style').

 

The question is... do dolls reflect our perception of reality? If so, how much should that really matter?

I can see why some over-sensitive types might think that people who only have male dolls might be mysogynists, or people with ws dolls might be skinheads, or people with only manly men in couples with pretty girls might be homophobes, or those who have x-dressing femmy boy dolls think that all gay guys are little girly twinks... but that really is being a bit silly, isn't it?

I think people should stop reading all kinds of things into what other people do and just concentrate on doing what they like to do.

 

Most of my dolls are fantasy characters (aliens, to be exact) so they definitely do not reflect reality, I don't think there are Forest Gods or half human werewolves or shape shifting aliens running about our planet, though some of my dolls are human and do come from our realm of reality (or at least their characters do).

I think some people's dolls can reflect parts of reality, but most of them seem to be fantasy in one way or another, my dolls personally represent characters I created and therefore aren't really meant to be realistic. Even my human character dolls don't represent my perception of reality, so I don't think it matters much since they're dolls and I make a point to differentiate them from real people.

I suppose other doll owners might have their dolls based on real people or things on our reality, but as long as their not deliberately being disrespectful of a race/culture/gender/etc then I don't see why it should matter so much, allowing people to have fun and be creative with their dolls so what is more important in my opinion~

 

My dolls are mostly meant to be realistic. At least, realistic humans. Some are celebrities, so they don't have an average lifestyle, but the rules of being human do apply to them. I have characters of a variety of types. I think the least realistic part is that of my 17 dolls, only five are known to be straight. Three are gay, six are bisexual, one is asexual, and of the remaining two, one is a small child and she's too young for me to even consider that for her yet, and the other is a dog so I don't consider hers at all. This isn't due to an obsession or being a yaoi fan or anything (in fact, one of my gay characters is female and I have zero interest in yaoi) but mostly because I role play my dolls and just sort of wait and see what happens, without assigning an orientation to start. Just seems to happen that people I RP with have a lot more available male characters than female, and so my guys often end up with male partners. Even so, I don't think it's all that unrealistic. The ratio might seem off when compared to the world population, but within a small group, not so much.

Anyway, my dolls are influenced by reality, real people, real situations. No specific individual people, but various real life possibilities. I might see a real live person and think I'd like for my doll to dress like that, or have similar hair. I don't create dolls, then think real people should be like them.

 

If you use dolls to avoid the real world, if you live vicariously through your dolls, (like some parents do, especially with sports endeavors or with grades, class placements, etc.) then you might have a problem and it isn't dolls. And it may not matter anyway if you or no one else is negatively affected. It would not be anyone's business.

If you buy dolls that take on personas of various characters, you assign them a character, if they represent the real, the imagined or the wished for, you. So what! No one's business. People go through all manner of different stages in their lives, exploring the world and themselves, and fantasy is a healthy place to go to get away for a mind vacation from realities. Perhaps should not live there permantly, never to return to reality.

For me, dolls do not reflect reality, that is why I enjoy them. No being looks like them. That is the fun of it, but I don't live there. I get them mainly because they are so pretty, interesting, can pose and I can sew, make for them. I like being able to communicate with others about them. I am not into characters, or cosplay, way too busy with other things. For me this is an amusing hobby, not an alternate world.

 

I'm a storyteller, and in order for stories to resonate they have to have a connection with real everyday life. Even fantasy does. So my dolls, who shell characters of mine, totally reflect my reality. I live in a small southern town with a very large (proportionally) alternative population - ergo my dolls do too. I created a fictional little town, with a certain premise, and that's populated by these characters. I do photo stories about them. It's a 3D version of my written works.