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dolls just for lonely people?

Mar 3, 2010

    1. I always hear that dolls are for lonely, antisocial people.
      i mean.. i get lonely.. i dont get to see my friends much. and im homeschooled..
      but i'm _NOT_ antisocial.
      i have many friends that i WISH i could see more often.
      so.. whats your opinion..
      i have a hard time getting along with most people.. and i dont THINK i subconsciously decided to collect dolls to help me not be lonely..
      do you think dolls can really help lonely people?
      that's my main question.
      since i'm not antisocial or anything :)
      wow all your answers are so very different :D
      my friends, my GOOD friends, either love my dolls, or atleast, dont think its weird that i have one :)
      i mean i go to meet ups and stuff, its just that before i got my first doll, i was antisocial, i didnt like many people..
      at all. lol
      but now that i have one.. i dunno .. i seem to be more social.. its weird. but i am pretty sure.. . its mostly because i now have a great form of creative release,
      and self expression NOT just because their like a companion. ya know?
      EDIT - AGAIN
      so.. do we all agree? as the final verdict,
      that dolls are not intended for the lonely, they MAY help some lonely people. or make some worse, everyone has some form of expression. and its allllllll good. :D
    2. Well, I think they certainly can help lonely people; I mean, I know that I like to have my boy around just to have him around, so it's not too far to end up at "companion". But for someone to classify all doll people as "lonely" I think is just myopic of that person.
      I mean, I have friends, really close friends, but I'm also an introvert so when I come home from school or something I like to sit around in the quiet with my pretty piece of resin and enjoy the calm for a bit. I'm not "lonely" or anything, it's just...nice.
    3. It's odd but I think one of the reasons I intend to get a doll is because I do get lonely. My husband works 10 hours a day with a total of a three hour transit. I don't have children. I don't drive (yet) and I rarely get to actually spend time in the presence of another person. It's not the same but I think it would help.
    4. I never thought of myself as lonely, but maybe I am and just don't know it, now that you mention it XDD
      All my friends are always busy and doing stuff and I don't get out a lot... so ..... yes...?
      I have no idea.
    5. I don't think dolls are just for lonely people. I don't really get lonely, in fact I prefer to be alone. I guess I'm the other half, the antisocial people. I like dolls because I don't like people. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me. Even when I am entirely alone I do not ever feel lonely. I find interacting with other people to be stressful to be honest, even with my family, and interacting with strangers is just too much for me. I do have friends, and I enjoy spending time with them, but I need more time alone than most people. I need silence, or just music, no other humans around talking to me or interacting with me. That is what I enjoy about dolls, they are silent and expect nothing from me. I can do what I want with them and interact with them in ways that I am comfortable with without any expectations.
    6. I think perhaps they could help someone who is lonely. They keep some people busy and allow them to put their mind elsewhere, and alot of owners just enjoy the 'company' of having the doll there. I'm teased about being anti-social but I'm not, I'm just a personality type that doesn't need constant outside stimulation. And having gone to a few meet-ups now, I wouldn't say alot of doll owners are anti-social haha. :) On that note, having DoA and meetups for BJDs could be great for people who get lonely.
    7. Does lonely have to equal to unhappy?

      I mean, these dolls give you joy, so does it mean antisocial people = sad people?

      I enjoy the singles life, my job get me outdoors plenty, but I still want dolls... so I guess, based this one case, NO dolls are not just for lonely people. Maybe shallow people, because looks are all we look for in this hobby. (Then again, other hobbies are shallow too by the same reasons.)
    8. I'm never lonely( I don't mean this as someone's always watching me or something hahaha :sweat) I mean if I wanted to talk to someone or hang out with my friends, I can do all that very easily either through internet or just driving down the street :3 And my bf is like on the other side of town, but I live in a tiny ass town, so I can always visit whenever.
      I can see why people would assume they'd be for lonely people, but for me it isn't the case at all.
    9. This could end up with some spirited responses similar to the "Are dolls just for people who want to mother things?" thread because another popular assumption about the doll world and those who inhabit it is that dolls are friend substitutes as much as child substitutes. Yes, dolls surely are friend/sibling/companion substitutes for some, but for many many others like myself, they most certainly aren't. Whether or not a person is using dolls as a substitute for human companions isn't something that could draw judgment from me, but it could make relating to someone a bit harder because I don't see them as companionship, just as beautiful things. It's sort of like how my husband doesn't really see his fish as beloved pets like I see cats and dogs; he sees them rather as really cool decorations and it's hard to understand the other's point of view.
    10. Im not lonely and I LOVE my dolls :D. I live with 1 of the most important people of my life and my bestfriend comes to see me anytime he can. But when I DO get lonely, I dont go to my dolls. If I want to hold something because Im sad, I rather hold my soft tare-panda then a hard resin doll. But to each his own~
    11. I'm a solitary sort of person, but I don't think my dolls have anything to do with loneliness. I don't see them as a replacement for human company, I just enjoy collecting beautiful things. If I were lonely I'd rather have a pet because as lovely as dolls are, they're still just resin in the end.
    12. Are we talking existential loneliness here? :D
    13. Sure dolls could help with loneliness for awhile, but eventually you'd come to terms with the fact they're just dolls.
      True, I can be a bit ''antisocial." I like having quiet time to myself. I'm currently a hairstylist, I deal with many people a day. I have a bf and a few friends.
      Sometimes it's just nice to relax and only have your dolls around.
    14. I'm actually ridiculously social, I just find it's nice to be able to talk to something that can't judge you. Not mention they are always smiling back at you no matter what you say. :)
    15. I have an overly large circle of friends. And then I got a boyfriend, and many of his friends became my friends too. A lot of the time I feel like I'm spread too thin and I don't have enough time to give to the people I care about. Lonely isn't really my problem.

      That said for me, this is pretty much my "me time" hobby. It's what I do to relax when I'm alone. Dolls have become my way of getting away from people sort of. So I guess I'm sort of the opposite of a lonely person using dolls for companionship.

      Also, I really don't feel I could pass judgement on those who do want the dolls as companions. I'm pretty sure that some ugly conclusions could be drawn from my own habit of creating people that I'm totally in control of to relieve stress from an overactive social life. So I'm content to live and let live. If dolls make you happy, then I'm happy for you.
    16. 8U Frankly this thread may suffer from anecdotal evidence.

      regarding the OP: "do you think dolls can help lonely people?"

      Perhaps, as it would give them an outlet to express their emotions in pure social safety, as a doll cannot hurt a person's feelings. However, loneliness is not something which can be realistically "solved" through interactions with a doll, especially for an adult who must live and work in the "real world". For children the case may be different.

      A doll or imaginary character may soothe the feeling temporarily, but imho I think it better that lonely people should analyze the causes of their predicaments and put forth actions to stem it, rather than converting their feelings to a doll, which could lead to a disparity with reality in extreme cases.
    17. I think if someone is lonely and wanted a non-human around to keep them company, a pet would work much better than a doll. I guess maybe a doll could help a little..? But by definition, I thought loneliness was am emotion stemming from a lack of HUMAN interaction, so really, neither the dog or the doll would completely cure it.

      I don't think of mine as companions. They're cute things that I love to have around because they're cute and I love them :D But I've never been like "huh, I'm lonely, I'll cuddle a doll." It's always "huh, I'm lonely, I'll call my bf/friend/mom/etc."
    18. I've been collecting dolls since I was 16 and still in highschool. I had my best friends that I hung out with outside of school, and then I had my dolls. I've always had a lot of fun taking photos of them, modeling them, and sharing them with my (close) friends.

      When I got deeper into the hobby, I made several -really- good friends because of the dolls, because I started going to meets. We often hung out and did dolly-related stuff, and I still hung out with my non-doll friends.

      Now I've moved to a place where in all honesty I only have a friend who I see on the weekends, and a boyfriend I spend the majority of my time with (when he's not at work). I definitely wish I could spend more time with my dolls, but other things truthfully get in way, but all for good. Despite not liking people, everyone needs live socialization or else they go insane.

      I definitely think that lonely or not, dolls can definitely bring people together, like they have for me in the past, creating some very meaningful relationships I have, even though now I live 2000 miles from my close doll-friends.

      I adore my dolls, and I love them to pieces, but I couldn't replace them for humans.
    19. This reminds me very strongly of the (several) "dolls as substitutes for children" threads. I don't collect dolls as a coping mechanism for anything, or to make up for anything that's lacking in my life, or to help me deal with any kind of problems I might have. :| And I don't know anyone who does, though I do accept that it's not outside the realm of possibility that some collectors might do so.

      I live alone, with only my cat, and I'm quite happy in doing so! Please don't confuse intentional solitude with loneliness. I have plenty of friends that I spend time with on a regular basis, I get along very well with almost all my coworkers (and in my line of work, since you really have to rely on your partners to have your back, that relationship is more like a friendship), and I see my family regularly as well. Living alone does not equate being lonely - it's simply due to the fact that I like my space. I like not having other people in my space. In fact, having people in my space (by which I mean my territory, my apartment, not "standing in my personal space") makes me nervous and fidgety.
    20. Agree with bronzephoenix, pets may be much better if one can take care of them.

      I've got dolls for artistic purposes not for the sake of replacing human beings around me by them. That would be a bit creepy and I can imagine that in longer time the dolls could have right opposite effect.
      But the true is that I don't mind being alone, there is always so much to do regardless if there are any dolls or not. One could say "alone but not lonely". ;)

      Nevertheless, if somebody feels lonely and dolls can help her/him to feel better, why not?