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Dolls on Venus and Mars

May 28, 2011

    1. While posting on another thread about womens' oppinion of men who own dolls, http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?405774-Girls-view-on-guys-who-own-BJDs, I thought "I think it would be intersting to know what the diffrences are between why men love dolls and why women love dolls. " would be an intersting topic for its own thread!

      It's similar to 'why are you into bjds' but I would like to see men posting, too, so we can disscus the diffrence for why women or men would be in this hobby, or to see if there is even a diffrence at all.

      I know that everyone looks at things diffrentlly. The fact that men and women seem to think on completely diffrent feilds, and in very diffrent ways, is unavoidable.

      How does this diffrence in thought process apply to the doll hobby?
    2. I honestly don't think the difference is that big. Men buy dolls they find pretty and so do women. Problem is that men get the stamp of being perverted when they buy a doll with big boobs, but it's fine for a woman to buy a doll with a buff chest and large package.
      Personally I definitely get dolls that are aesthetically pleasing to me. Most of them have features that I would also love in real people.
    3. I wouldn't say men and women think on "completely different fields, in a very different way". I get on with guys better than girls usually, because we seem to be on the same wavelength, but I think its just because I've grown up with a lot of male friends and so have a "guys" sense of humour. There are far more differences within the sexes than between them, and the theory in the gender studies field is that most gender differences are indoctrinated by our culture rather than hardwired. /end derail

      That said, it goes against the whole "manly" thing (which I think is silly, but thats another story) to buy a doll, so I would be interested in male thought processes just because I think they'd have to be a lot more into it than "shes rather pretty" to take the plunge and risk getting thought of as a weirdo. Although I'd like to be proved wrong :)

      Personally, my first big doll was for a character I really badly wanted. All dolls after that are because "hes so preeeeeetty!" And, uh, my first one is my only girl because I'm only interested in male dolls. Female dolls are pretty, but I don't seem to relate to them :sweat
    4. I don't think so really. Like you I also had more guy friends that girl friends and none of them actually gave a darn about what people thought. Might have something to do with that the guys were metalheads and oddballs to begin with, but yeah, they really don't care about how people perceive them. I think it's like that for more men. Men tend to care less about how they look. Most males I know pull a brush through their hair (if even that) and throw on a tshirt and jeans and that's about it.
      It just has to do with taste. The reason my partner doesn't like dolls is because he find them creepy, not because he's scared of what people will think of him.
    5. I have loved dolls of all sorts since I was a tiny child and have no idea why I find them so appealing. Maybe because they appeared to "live" in a world of my own making and under my control as a child, and also because they are pleasing to my eye. I don't think these are necessarily gender specific reasons to love dolls, but if I had been a male child, I would have probably been discouraged from owning dolls in the time I happened to grow up. I have both male and female dolls (and did so as a child, too).
    6. My reason for liking dolls is simply 'cause they're pretty, and I love the customization aspect of the hobby. Pretty plain stuff. So I'm not going into detail on that.

      I've got the opinion of a boy though! My boyfriend says he likes dolls (well, my dolls, he has bigger interests that he'd spend money on way before a doll, but he likes them XD I just have to shell out the money) because they're so incredibly customizable that they can look however he wants them to as long as the sculpt allows it. I suppose their cuteness has something to do with it, but it's not a very big aspect. He likes a lot of cute anime characters so that more plays into the "begging me to dress my doll up as anime characters when I get her" part xD so yeah. For him it's all the customization. But he's not an avid collector, so his opinion might not count..
    7. I don't like to draw too many generalizations about men and women. It's easy to dwell on how women and men are so different from each other, but when people do this they overlook the fact that sometimes Bob and Jane are different because they are two different people rather than male and female. It also causes people to have certain expectations about others that may well be waaaay off the mark.

      I personally like creative hobbies, I also like manga style artwork so the aesthetics of many abjds really grabbed me, so here I am. While I happen to be female, I would not be at all surprised if there are bjd owning males who have dolls for pretty similar reasons.
    8. I also don't think there are many biological reasons why men and women are different, since society pushes them on us. But, I like the fact that they're customise-able. I love being able to make up characters and personalities, them mold them into that look and make them look human. I usually make up a lot of characters when drawing or thinking, so having a physical version to use in a different medium is really fun. > <
    9. I tottally agree that there is a doble standard involved.

      Well said, does this maby mean there is (or is requierd to have) more dedication to the hobby when your reputation is on the line?

      ..Or maby reputation has nothing to do with it? "Grown women" playing with dolls is about as weird or damaging to a reputation, but we ignore it, right?

      That gives me an interesting thought; maby men have the same likes, but were raised different so their intests are too?

      I like the thought that creativity trumps stereotypes! It make me smile :)
      And I hadn't thought about how much men seem to like cute anime characters/girls... Maby that plays a part of it, too?

      I love what you said about Bob and Jane! I really feel that way (even if it doesnt sound that way). General public assumes to sterotypes, when the diffrence is in the indivisual! B)
    10. I don't think men and women are quite so inherently different as society would like us to believe. They likely don't have very different reasons for owning dolls. ^^

      However, I'm sure there are plenty of guys who would but don't own dolls because most of society would reject them for not conforming to stereotypical gender roles.
    11. I actually think for a man, his friends might just say "Lol man, that's weird!" and laugh it off, while a woman's female friends would start saying "did you hear, she got a doll that costs hundreds, I wonder if she's all right in the head..." Though that's just generalizations.
      Personally, I know one guy who'd like to own a doll but won't for a long time because he needs to save for a new guitar rather than a BJD. He just says "It'd be kinda cool to own one! :D". While my only friend that honestly hates the thought of BJDs is a girl. She'll start saying "no, don't start talking about those again!" if I say something about dolls. Her favourite saying is "A child is healthy when it plays but sick if it doesn't stop with time", which I heavily disagree about...XD
      Still, you can't generalize women and men. Some research shows that more women tend to be emotional and more men tend to be technical in their thinking, but that doesn't mean all women are emotional or all men are technical, but rather that there are more emotional women than men, and the other way around. And that could be because of their upbringing too, the way it separates boys and girls still nowadays.
    12. I think it's logical that men and women are different. We are different physically, hormonally, why wouldn't we be different psychologically?
      Not too long ago there was this scientific research where the interest of newborn girls and boys was tested. On average, newborn boys tended to look at mechanical devices first and then look in the eyes of the people around them. Girls, were more preocupied with their mother and father and only after a while started to notice the mechanical toys hovering over her.

      And when I look at my nephew and niece, the girl clearly favors dolls whereas the boy likes to play with cars and duplo. These are children of two years old and younger and their mother and father didn't encourage them in any way to choose a certain type of toy. They both had access to the same toys. Still, one chose dolls, the other cars.
      Don't think that men are a complete different race and I do think we have many things in common, but I don't see why it would be a bad thing if men and women, on average, have a few details that aren't the same.

      And of course, these are about averages. Not every girls plays with dolls alone and not every boy is a legos nutcase (heck, I played with pirate and castle legos as a child together with my cousin) it just means society is not as conclusive in dictating us what we would or would not like as I sometimes think. I'd think that is a relief.

      Most of the guys I know who are interested in these dolls are so from a figurine point or view, not so much the cuddling, character building, roleplaying type of play. They like to dress these dolls up, but once they have their look: that's it. Next project. I have to say, although I'm a girl, this is the way I treat the dolls to, but this is not a fairly common way to enjoy the hobby.
    13. My S.O. and I started looking at BJD's some 8 - 10 years ago in the doll books/magazines at out local bookstore. Then we could only wish we could have afforded them. Now we both have multiple dolls... okay all his are women and all but 2 of mine are men (well 1 little boy and 1 man). He did say thought, if he could find a male doll with the physique of a body builder and hooves he would jump for it. I buy more clothes for his doll I think than I do for mine, but unless a specific outfit was bought for a specific doll, then it pretty much gets shared with every girl of that size. I'm just glad he has such an interest in dolls and collecting or I would have a hard time justifying all the doll related cluter around the house. I would only hope there are more women collectors out there who's hubbies/S.O. take an interest too. It makes the hobby more enjoyable when both genders bring something unique to the table. IM humble O

      - ShadowHawke -