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Dolls' Sexuality and Owner's Sexuality: Are they related?

Feb 22, 2011

    1. hey DOA!!
      this is not meant to be an offensive thread at all :) x
      basically, I have noticed that about 70% of doll owners i am friends with/ have met are bisexual or homosexual ( including myself :) )
      i was just wondering if other people have experienced this, and mabye could offer explainations as to why this is xx
      if dolls and sexuality are closely linked, are dolls used as an outlet, or perhaps a symbol of peoples sexuality?
      this is just something i've noticed... do other people agree?
      i'm a bisexual doll owner :D
    2. I never even considered this.

      I don't think that dolls and sexuality are actually linked, though. I don't see dolls being used as an outlet or as a symbol of sexuality. What I do see is that "playing with dolls" and "not heterosexual" are both things that are considered "abnormal" by a majority of society. For me, I don't care if I'm considered abnormal for the hobbies I enjoy or the person I am. If I cared about what society's perception of me was, I would be a much different person.

      I'm bisexual and I love dolls. :)
    3. *raises hand*
      I'm also bi, and a doll owner.

      I think one should be careful to say that dolls are a symbol of one's sexuality, but it is an interesting thing to think about. If you look at traditional gender stereotypes, dolls are a very feminine activity and if you're a guy it immediately points, unfairly, to being gay. However, if you look at bjds, they go way beyond a lot of these stereotypes. It is certainly not all tea parties and teddy bears and lacy dresses. I think because these dolls are so customizable, they mean different things to different people, and it's difficult to say that they are closely linked with sexuality.

      However, if you look at role playing aspects of dolls, it makes sense to say that they can be part of exploring different identities. My first doll didn't really have a set character, and she started out straight. When I ordered her, I was starting to question my straightness, and after making her bisexual, I kind of started figuring things out with myself. ^^;

      It's kind of sad how allegorical my dolls are without me even realizing it. XD
      I generally have a preference for girls in real life, I like drawing girls better, so I have way too many girl characters. And that results in too many yuri couples. And so I have a lot of girls dolls planned out. I have my doll date my friend's doll, and then I end up dating my friend. We break up, and I want the dolls to separate, too. *facepalm*
    4. I was gonna start this thread off with, "Not me, I'm married!" But.. I'm very much bisexual.

      The doll link for me and sexuality comes from anime. I've been watching anime for years, went to a con, discovered BJD's there, so the two are connected for me.

      I'm an avid Yaoi/Yuri fan, so naturally the idea of same gender doll couples is interesting to me.

      These dolls lend themselves to androgyny, something I think a lot of Yaoi x Yuri fans are interested in.

      Interesting topic! I definitely fall into that 70% you mentioned :)

      *Oh, Edit: Just wanted to mention that I don't associate sex with my BJDs.. I have two girls because I think they are pretty. They're not a sexual outlet for me. That's what my Yaoi RP is for.. lol <3
    5. Hello there fellow Bi's :D
      nice to know i'm not alone hee hee x3
    6. I'm the odd one out I guess. XD Not even remotely attracted to my own sex. (not that there is anything wrong with it, I just don't feel any attraction there whatsoever)

      My dolls don't represent sexuality to me in any capacity. I've been a toy collector for years (action figures, Littlest pet shop, transformers, robots) and to me the dolls are another classification of toy. They may have obvious sex characteristics, but that's really as far as it goes. If there is a correlation I would say it has more to do with the anime subculture, including aesthetic androgyny, that Asian BJD's seem to be tied in to. :)
    7. Haha! Same!

      That's pretty much how I discovered BJD's as well. Went to cons, saw "pretty dolls", asked lots of stupid questions. Four years later, I get one. Now? I'm hooked.

      Also, thank you Moody Strawberry for your awesome story. I never even considered the notion of using a doll to figure one's self out. As a hopeless romantic, reading how your doll's creation and character helped you answer your own questions... well, it made me squee inside like a little schoolgirl. :aheartbea
    8. It was completely unintentional! I'm only in it for the dolls! xD
      Glad you enjoyed hearing, though. Haha.
    9. I don't think the dolls are inherently a symbol or outlet for sexuality, though I think they can be those things to certain people. Personally, I'm asexual - I don't want to do anything with anybody, lol. ;P However, most of my dolls' characters are either bi or gay/lesbian - I think the last tally turned up all of one straight couple (and one of its members is trans). It's gotten to the point where my aunt makes jokes about the dolls being inherently gay xD; (she says this in good fun... she's ordering her own first dolls very soon). So... I don't know what that means, really, except that I, like Glowbee, am a rather avid fan of slash, and tend to write homosexual characters and pairings more often than heterosexual ones. Since my dolls are all based on characters from my and my best friends' writings and/or fandoms... well, their sexuality tends to follow.
    10. Funnily enough, I'm bi too. But the dolls are certainly not an outlet in that respect.
    11. I'm a little uncomfortable with this topic, because even though you want to discuss a perceived link between someone's sexuality and dolls, this debate could easily turn into a topic about owners, not dolls, nor hypes or social rules in this hobby.

      Personally I don't see the link. I am aware that this hobby has it's fair share of bisexual and homosexual people, but I've also seen many straight people. I'm straight myself, so is a doll friend of mine who happens to be a guy, and another man (straight again) is very interested in them, but thinks they are too expensive.

      I could be completely wrong, but perhaps there is a relatively high percentage of homosexuals and bi's in this hobby for the same reason as that you see many of them in art schools (at least here in Holland). I always thought that it had to do with the fact that from an early moment in their life, homosexuals didn't fully fit in with their peers and had to either pretend to be like the rest, or learn to follow their own heart.

      Again, I could be mistaken, but you don't go to art school if you want to fit in (in Europe at least). It's hard work and you'll have to deal with a lot of blunt (and sometimes personal) criticism.
      So, if someone chooses to pursue a career like this, it is because he/she wants it with all his/her heart, despite what others might think. Someone who's been on this road before will sooner make that decission, than someone who's always felt right at home surrounded by others.

      In that same aspect: collecting dolls, isn't exactly 'cool'. So if you (general) don't care what other might think and you like dolls, you'd sooner choose this hobby than if you're really focused on what others might say or think.
    12. The sexuality of the owner and the relationship between his dolls is connected, though not always. In my way it is, for example. In fact I adore girls in real life, as well as bjd-girls (I loved one Crobi's boy once, though he wasn't very manly :D) and so even If I only have one doll now I have already decided my future doll plans, as well as yuri-pairings. Why? Just because I see them like this, I have already made-up stories and I can't imagine it the other way.
      But it would be just for myself. Frankly speaking I don't won't to upload such photos to the net for all people to see them and comment/critique
    13. Yeah, I don't feel comfortable discussing this either. Like was said earlier, I think you are looking for a link or affirmation that doesn't exist. This could very quickly spiral out and talk about doll owners. I think that you may notice more homosexual or bi doll owners because they are in an artistic community where it is safer to announce their sexual preference. I really don't see how this is a dolly related discussion, sorry.
    14. Going to have to agree with Tetradeka. I have seen lots of homosexual doll couples on DOA, but these are not the owners and so I never make assumptions about the owner's sexuality based on their dolls. And I don't think it's my business, or that it particularly matters when talking dolls. Personally I have no sexual connection to my dolls.
    15. oh, i'm sorry you feel that way, but i can kind of see where you are coming from.
      however, you can't have dolls without doll owners, and sometimes they can be more important than the dolls themselves; especially in the way they look at or use thier dolls :D
    16. Well, something like this is bound to be down to individual reasons people got into the hobby, which vary. My guess, however, is that (like Silk said) this has to do with people who are often marginalized. I think there's a lot of crossover between other groups of non-mainstream folk and BJDs - fanfic, anime, and other geekery seems another place I run into LGBT folks more often.

      As for me, I'm straight and all but one of my dolls are male. Amongst my adult-aged dolls, they're all gay or bi. I used to be huge into fanfic, and now I write M/M romance and spec fic that often includes gay, bi, or lesbian characters; my dolls represent characters from my own stories. Part of it's probably the chance to play around in somebody else's sandbox, but a large part of it is that I'm just a lot more interested in looking at guys. :sweat.

      Regardless of sexuality, I think people's reasons and ways of collecting might vary too much to make this a question that can be answered very well. Gender, sexuality, and other things that build up our identities underlie everything we do, but they don't necessarily cause everything we do. Dolls can be so many things we aren't, from models who can wear clothes we never could, to places to explore the experiences of people who are different from ourselves; they are a non-mainstream, creative activity, and this does offer an opportunity for people who probably have a lot to get off their chest to express themselves. But WHAT they express is so different to make connections.

      ETA: I think the point people are trying to make is that the mods don't like threads that focus more on doll owners than on dolls. I wouldn't be surprised if they close this one, to be honest.

      I have to say, this reminds me of "do you collect dolls because you don't have children" type threads that pop up for female collectors from time to time. The answer might be yes, but is far more likely to be no.
    17. I think that maybe the link for some people who are bi or gay might be the androgyny of the asian aesthetic that our dolls tend to have, especially if you got into BJDs through anime, which is notoriously flexible with gender and sexuality.

      Personally, I'm straight, I've just been playing with dolls my entire life (I was just one of those late bloomers that played with dolls until I was 14, then found BJDs at 18 and never looked back XD)

      For me, my dolls represent a lot of things- fashion, character ideals, etc. I don't have any dolls that are gay, but I do sometimes like experimenting with building characters that are different to myself, and that occasionally sees one or two as being more androgynous.

      This really is a bit of a touchy subject though, and while I now feel like I probably shouldn't have put my 2 cents in, it's too late to hit the back button :doh....

      Editing again to say that I also agree with the later comments- Owner's sexuality is completely their personal business and I really don't need or want to know about it. I was just suggesting based on what seemed most obvious to me. (Which of course I can't verify. *sigh* shouldn't have posted at all.)
    18. thank you very much everyone for your experiences and opinions, and i'm sorry if i make anyone uncomfortable with this thread, i'm just interested in people's views on this :D
    19. I'm not sure, I think it's the person's personal preferance... Most of my boys are gay, and 'I' myself don't even know why. But all of my girls are straight(or would be if I could figure out which girl I want). Which could be because I'm a straight girl.

      Someone being uncomfortable to make their dolls gay or not is most likely because they're not, but I like boy-love, so... Yeah.

      In all honesty, I have no real idea.
    20. I would say that dolls can be any sexuality depending on how open minded the owner is I guess? Two of my boys are gay while the other is asexual. It's not that I was trying to discover hidden parts of myself or am subconsciously projecting anything onto my dolls, it's simply what worked for the characters after a few attempts. I'm straight but I see no reason to limit my dolls to that if it seems to make them 'unhappy'