Dolly Bonding

Jun 13, 2016

    1. hey guys, so it's been a while since I posted last. real life has gotten extremely tough. so as an update to one of my previous posts/comments I have managed to fix my Girl dolls head. my only issue is that I'm having a hard time bonding with her. I was so frustrated that I just had to put her away and I took her out a few days ago to finish fixing up and I just wasn't as excited as i held her. But here's my real dilemma I have to bond with her, she was a gift from my mom, who last month passed away. I can't even think about parting with her. How do you regain that excitement when you were so frustrated that you didn't even want to look at the doll? Should i just spend more time with her? Should I change her up a bit. Please, any tips are appreciated.
    2. I would try changing up your doll. Maybe send her to get some commission work done so you feel that excitement when she returns!
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    3. Definitely try giving her a new face up! And once she's home, you can also change her style a little; a new style, new wig and eyes, etc. I've run into the same problem just a little while ago, and a new face up and dress style helped renew my love for one of my dolls. <3
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    4. I don't mean to sound all psycological or any of that silly bs, but have you given it a thought that maybe your lack of excitement might be because you now associate the doll with your mothers passing? I know i always get sad when i look at the big elephant picture i got from my dad, before he passed several years ago.

      But don't take this as a "I can never feel good about my doll again!" take it as more of a reason to why your feeling the lack right now. Maybe put the doll aside, safely packaged and away from harm, for a month or so and then take her back out and remember the wonderful gift the doll was from your mom?
      Or do the reversed thing! Get the doll a new face up, some new clothes or a new personality and have her sit near your work place so that you may see the beautiful creature every day! Also a good way to remember your mother.

      I hope you'll feel better about the passing and about your dollie!
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    5. A photo-op sounds like a good idea. That might help.
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    6. I think part of it has to do with the doll having a character/personality. My boy Jo has come to life, because he has such personality and developed character/story, and he feels like a son to me. But another part of it is investing time in them, like giving them a faceup, or making things for them. I would also recommend going with a character/style that fits the sculpt, i.e. young looking sculpt, young character or youthful clothing style; mature, more realistic sculpt, go with a more adult-like style (like suits or gowns etc.)
      There's a whole chemistry to bonding with a doll, and when you do everything right (not necessarily professionally or perfectly) you should be able to bond with your doll.
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    7. My condolences for your loss...

      What about a little creative project to commemorate your mom, using your doll? For example a series of photo, different one each day, with objects or at places you associate with your mom.

      For example, with a favourite scarf your mom might have worn, or a purse, or the doll "reading" a book your mom liked. Or, take your doll to a park or playground that your mom took you to?

      List out these things, and then create a photo for each one over a week or a month...

      I hope this helps, and I hope you'll heal in time.
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    8. I understand. I used to be really big into Barbie, and my best friend got me a Graduation Barbie. He passed away three years later. I've since sold off all of my Barbies in favor of BJDs, but she's the only one I kept. Every time I look at her, I'm reminded of him. She's not that pretty compared to many of the others out there, but she's still special.

      The good thing about BJDs is that they're meant to be customized. If you don't like how your girl looks, change her. If you can't seem to get her the way you like yourself, look around for an artist to mod and/or paint her for you. Sometimes a different perspective can renew love for a doll. If it's the body, maybe hybrid her onto something better, or if she's just a head, completing her might revive your love for her. Look at what other owners have done with the head. I thought I was falling out of love with my Minifee because she just couldn't look pretty no matter what I did, but when I looked at other owner pics of her sculpt, I got some ideas on how to fix her look and now I like her so much more! I thought her upper lip was just ugly and too thin, then I realized I had just been painting her wrong. Maybe that would help?

      In the end, once you've exhausted all possibly attempts to love her, maybe it is time to let her go. In cases like that where I stop loving a gift, I don't think of selling it off or trading it as being ungrateful, and I feel the same when I give gifts. If you use the money to get something you like better, you're still getting it from that person. Does that make sense? Example: If I buy my sister a doll and she doesn't like it, I'd rather her sell it and get something she likes better. She's still using money from my gift, so she's still getting a gift she likes in the end.
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    9. Thanks! I completely understand what you are saying and I'm hoping that thats not the reason. Because she is such a pretty girl. I'm going to get her a different wig at least before putting her away away. Just to see if it helps. I'm sure I'm just missing my mom, this is just another step to work through i suppose.
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    10. Yea actually that would be nice cause I've only taken a few pics of her and her Bf so it would be a good distaction.
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    11. This is really an amazing Idea. I really like it thank you so much!
    12. You're very welcome! Glad you like it. :)
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    13. Oh i do hope you'll give it a good go with loving your beautiful gal again! Exhaust all posibilities for rekindling your love, then only after you can maybe put her away for bit :) Please don't feel discouraged! Hopefully you'll feel the spark again soon!
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    14. That photo series idea sounds amazing! I hope you post it if you do it. I've found that photos are also a good way to bond in general, since posing helps you find their personality.
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    15. I usually change up the wig or eyes if I feel like I'm not bonding with a doll like I used to, or take them out for a photoshoot. I didn't feel like I was bonding with my Jethro recently, so I changed his wig back to the brown one I used when I first got him and knew that that what the look I loved on him most. Sometimes just changing a small thing can make a huge difference :)
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