Ever felt guilty for having 'more dolls' than someone else?

Sometimes. I bought all my dolls in a span of no more than two years. When I think about it, that seems rather excessive, especially since I didn't have to dig into my savings account, or do layaway - I just spent part of my paycheck and didn't need to eat less or deprive myself of anything. I don't have a lot of costs at this moment (though that may change soon) and can buy dolls with money that other people need to spend on other things. So sometimes I feel guilty because I know there are doll lovers who have to scrape by in order to buy a doll whereas I ... don't.

 

Not really~! Our life situations could be totally different, who knows? I'm pretty sure learning not to compare oneself to others is one of the major secrets of happiness.

 

No, I don't feel guilty, and I don't believe it should be "tit fot tat" when comparing your possessions to anyone else's. You can only control your actions, not anyone else's reaction to how you live your life, or what you spend your money on. From what you've posted, it sounds to me as if your sister was and is perfectly capable of getting dolls too, so why should you feel guilty? She's free to collect what she wants or not. The only possible exception I can think of is if you and she where both interested in the same One-Off...but then again, its always possible to have a doll customized to closely replicate a One-Off if someone reeeeeally has to have a particular look on a doll. But honestly, I do my best not to worry about how anyone feels about my interest in this hobby, the dolls I've collected, or the number I have. In my experience, anyone who tries to make you feel bad over something harmless that brings you happiness, is not on in your corner, or really on your side. JMHO.

Juli DC

 

I've never felt guilty for owning more dolls than anyone else, and I wouldn't want anyone else to feel guilty because they have more than me. I think it all depends on what you're looking for in a collection- some people want just one or two BJDs, whereas others want dozens. The only time I've felt guilty was when I thought about how much money I've spent on this hobby. XD

 

This is so true. I am personally not very interested in owning dozens of dolls (the thought alone already intimidates me). It would be a shame if someone were to feel guilty about owning more dolls than me, when I'm not really interested in the size of a collection in the first place.

 

This sums me up, I think. I don't necessarily feel guilty within the hobby that I have a larger collection than Person A, but I definitely from time to time feel guilty that I have such luxuries at all.

 

I tried. She's my bestie and I knew she wanted one. But I'm learning that she's super picky. I don't think she's ever going to get a doll because every time she lets herself think about it she decides that there are better things to spend the money on. Which is ultimately true. She's always welcome to come over and visit with mine xD

 

Not at all. Then again, I have only two. But I don't see why anyone should feel guilt that they have more dolls. What if the other person doesn't want a ton of dolls? Everyone wants different things and like, for me, you wouldn't be able to pay me to get another doll. And, if all your dolls are special to you for any reason, it's nobody's business to get jealous that you have your characters and they have their's. And really, it's not your problem that someone gets jealous.

 

Even though I have quite a considerable family of dolls, I've never felt guilty about it. And just the opposite applies as well. I know people who's collections are even much larger than mine & I don't envy them. We've all worked hard to get what we had & even if dolls for some are often gifted, it's not the size of the collection that matters. It's really all about how much joy & fun & relaxation we have with our dolls. And of course, all the great people you meet along the way. Sometimes for me that part is even more important than the dolls themselves.

So guilt, no way. Whether someone has one doll or one hundred, it's how much fun you end up having with it all.

 

In a way, yeah I do feel weird about it. Not when I'm on here, because we're all collectors and there are many people here with more/less dolls than I do and everyone knows how it feels to save and save when you're working towards a new doll. However, I have a friend who has less money than myself and she loves dolls, but she only has one which was given to her. Knowing just how many I have at this point, I feel uncomfortable thinking about showing my new ones to her, because I'm afraid that I might be upsetting her by doing so. I know I've earned my dolls, and I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do.

 

There's plenty of negative people out there. Some are obvious about it, others are more subtle. But this is something that is supposed to be a HOBBY. It's supposed to make you happy and relax you. People that try to make you feel guilty always have some issue of their own, that is THEIR issue. Not yours. You don't have to take that on.

Regardless if they are family or friends, you should be able to tell them to stop, to tell them their actions are making you uncomfortable and are unpleasant. If they persist, then cut them off.

I don't mean out of your life, although for some, that might be the best option. I mean when they start up with their bulls**t. All you've got to do is say, "we're not going there," or just refuse to engage or indulge them on it. If they refuse to stop, leave. Walk out of the room, leave the house if you've got to. After a few rounds of stonewalling on the issue, they should stop, especially if they see you're serious about it. Don't indulge these people!

 

I try not to be... I work for what I get.

When it comes to people like Arashi's friend, I just can't stand it! I had a friend like that and I had to cut her out of my life. When I started dating one of our mutual friends, she gave me grief because she had a crush on that friend first, etc. etc. I went through a lot of grief with her and I just had to let go.
My mom taught me that I should take other people's life circumstances into account, but that it doesn't excuse them from being jerkwads. "It's an explanation, not an excuse."

Sometimes I feel sad because I have things others want but can't have. But that isn't something I can necessarily help, so I focus on things I can change and help out wherever I can.

 

I don't feel guilty about my large collection. I'm not rich, I work hard for them and just assign my priorities on dolls only.

 

Occasionally, especially because I've bought the majority of my dolls in the last two years and have managed to acquire all of my grail dolls except for a handful. I have a large collection, and I've had people complain about how it was so easy for me to get those hard to find discontinued limited edition items and it wasn't fair. When people act like that it really sucks, because they are trying to ruin your happiness and make you feel bad. I'm not rich, the money I use to buy dolls is what usually goes to my gaming, anime, action figure, book, and comic hobbies as well as shoes and clothes(all of which outnumber my dolls by the thousands and aren't heap). I've done all of my clothes shopping in thrift stores these past couple years and instead of buying my games immediately have waited for price drops. Just because someone else doesn't have what I have doesn't mean I should feel guilty, and when someone tries to make me fell guilty it usually just makes me think they're an ass. I'm lucky to have been able to get the dolls I have, that's all it doesn't give anyone the right to judge me because of it.

 

Well, I'm a newby in this hobby, and I have four dolls. But I feel bad when I see my housekeeper (a wonderful woman) watching them, loving them, but being absolutly unable to buy one. I know she would love to have one, and I fell guilty to have no problem at all to buy the ones I want. Not fair.

 

No guilt here. Then again, i don't know anyone in real life who shares my interest. I do however get jealous when i see other collectors on Flickr post pics of a doll i want but wasn't able to get. But the again, that is normal isn't it

 

Yes... my good friend that got me into the hobby has, I think, two full dolls and two heads (or maybe one head now?). She'd been in the hobby for years and here I am, two years in with a lot more than that. I feel really bad, it doesn't seem fair, honestly.

 

I have one doll, I'm currently planning on buying some more soon I hope. From the point of view of a person who doesn't have 17 dolls all I can say is I'm envious but not resentful, you guys have saved up for your dolls and have earned them.

 

I don't feel guilty because I work hard and I pay everything myself and even if it was a gift I wouldn't feel guilty because a gift is a gift and not a favor. I feel guilty because of the amount of money I've spent on it but that's another story.

We shouldn't overthink it and we should just try to enjoy what we have or just leave the hobby if we're going to pay attention to what others have or don't have.

You could give her a doll as a gift...if you want/can. Same for the OP...if she feels guilty that she has more dolls than her sister, she could buy her more dolls instead. Problem solved.

 

This, a bit. I know other people have to really struggle sometimes to get a doll. I, on the other hand, tend to struggle after I get the doll *mod-addict!* But our different situations can't be helped. Nothing in life is about Deserving, it's about working and giving and taking and earning.