Falling out of love with BJD

May 11, 2018

    1. Has this happened to anyone here? I can feel my desire to keep going with this hobby beginning to burn out... what did you do to reignite the passion? Or is it better to just wipe your hands clean and say 'I'm done' and come back at a later date, hoping you'll love it again?
       
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    2. It never hurts to just take a break. If you're starting to feel burned out, taking a rest can help a lot!
       
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    3. I'm a pretty good example of this! I fell in love with the hobby around 2012, right when I was beginning in high school. I ended up becoming so busy with life that my dolls were pushed to the back of my mind. Before I started posting here again, my last post was from 2013! Only now, 5 years later, am I coming back into the hobby.
      I think its perfectly natural to lose interest, just like other things. Just because you may feel this way now, doesn't mean that it's forever. It's fine to take a step back -- I think it's healthy! Don't force yourself to try and stay in the hobby or anything. That takes all the fun out of it. Dolls last a long time, they won't mind if you move to other things :)
       
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    4. I would definitely say it's okay to take a break! Do you look at your dolls and still love it, but feel like not purchasing anymore for them? That's perfectly fine. They can be propped up for display and left alone and there's nothing wrong with that!

      If you feel like you'rejust done with everything, weigh the possibility of selling your dolls. If you feel any second thoughts-- my first thought is to say say no! You can always pack them away and when you feel the need, pull them out again! If you feel nothing, then potentially sell.
      People come and go all the time and there's nothing wrong with that. :)
       
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    5. Thanks for commenting guys. I actually already sold off my only doll, I never bonded properly with her, she was beautiful but not what I wanted in the end. She sat in storage most of the time I owned her. Now that I'm doll-less I just feel... empty about the hobby. Gotta go through all that saving up, waiting again, living in fear that I made a horrible financial choice or that I won't like the doll (again). Being a person on disability, I feel like I'm not even really allowed to be in this hobby.

      I ended up doing a tarot reading on my feelings and it was... not good. I think my heart is trying to tell me it's time to move on. I love dolls, always will. I'm just starting to think they just aren't meant for me. Yeah, I'm probably going to have to take a break.
       
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    6. @perfumed-lotus
      It's a shame that you feel this way, and especially since you're on disability. Being a person on disability doesn't mean you're denied beautiful things, or even expensive things. I hope one day you can come back to the hobby again with a more joyful heart.
       
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    7. @A Wee Tiefling Thank you for the kind words. I hope too I can come back with a happier heart. Dolls should make people smile, not sad. They are bandaids for a broken heart.
       
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    8. @perfumed-lotus I know what it's like to struggle and feel worthy to buy nice things for myself. You can always get a second tarot opinion (I also do readings, but I'm much more loose in my interpretations.)
       
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    9. Im newer myself so im still very much in love but ive heard this is a common thing for people to question their relationship with their dolls and the hobby over time. Sometimes a break can be helpful! Box up the dolls and see how it feels to have them out of sight for a while.
       
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    10. I actually took a 5 year break while getting my bachelor's degree. When I came back to the hobby, I had a better paying job and I was able to afford the things I wanted.

      Taking a break was probably the best thing I could have done for this hobby. :)
       
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    11. @A Wee Tiefling Thank you. This is a good idea. Sometimes another opinion helps. I'll hit up my girl on etsy and see what she draws for me. I had a weird experience today where my program glitched out and didn't give me a card for 'advice' in my spread. I took it as a sign that I had no other choices that could change the outcome at this time, but now you are making me wonder if the point was to get a second opinion from an outside source and that's why the advice card was 'missing' as I don't have the answer right now. Ace of Cups reversed was my future/outcome card*_*
       
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    12. It's natural that your passion for a hobby can wane, especially if you haven't had the greatest experiences. When I got my first doll a few years ago, I was very excited, but I just didn't bond with him. I felt pretty guilty about this, especially because he was a very expensive SD doll.

      So, for a long time I just left the hobby. But I think it's the break I needed. Now that I've come back to it with a different mindset, I'm very happy!
       
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    13. @perfumed-lotus
      :ablink: Reversed Ace of Cups could mean lots of things! The most obvious one is the "falling out of love" but there's the more subtle meanings you shouldn't overlook. Sometimes what we love and are passionate about aren't an infinite geyser of inspiration (the Ace) but a deeply submerged well that needs to be still for a while to replenish. And that inspiration that comes in trickles can be frustrating but it doesn't mean the love/passion you feel is dead, just that you drained the well too fast at first.
      so yeah, wait and see how you feel in a while.

      -- says a person who doesn't "believe" that a reversed card is always negative.
       
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    14. Ooh, I'm going to add some of this to my card notes. I really like this interpretation! Thanks, I feel a lot better now.:)
       
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    15. I hope you can get back into a hobby (not just this one, if it ultimately isn't right for you) that you enjoy and adds beauty to your life. I'm happy to help!
       
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    16. It's natural to deplete your source of inspiration for any art/craft over time. I jump around from hobby to hobby (drawing, sewing, cosplay, dolls). I love creating new and beautiful things, but sometimes the burnout just takes away my motivation to work on hobbies. Your hobby should be fun, not a chore or boring. Taking a break (long or short) is a good way to build up that well of inspiration again.

      Once an artist, always an artist, so don't be afraid or feel guilty to walk away from something for a while.
       
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    17. Everyone has said such great stuff. Letting the well replenish is especially important, in so many parts of life. I'll toss in my two cents too. Think for a little while about what it was that drew you to the hobby. What were you hoping to get out of it. Then, think about what "flavor" those thoughts/desires/hopes had. Maybe it was looking for community? Maybe it was looking for opportunities to make things? Maybe it was to have something beautiful around. Keep an eye out for other things that might provide some of that flavor. Maybe bring home some small thing from time to time for beauty. For me, that's an occasional flower... or maybe a My Little Pony blind box ;) Poke around YouTube for craft ideas, a lot of them are easy to try without a big investment up front. Hang around people who do stuff you think is interesting and listen, and ask questions. This sort of way of looking at it was suggested to me by a good friend, and it's helped me. If I could, Id probably attempt to do/have All The Things. But I try and find the right "flavor" and it's helped a lot. I might just need a sip of it, not the whole steaming pot ;) I'm reminded of the quote from William Morris, from the 19th century Arts & Crafts Movement, who said "Have nothing in your houses that is not useful, or that you know to be beautiful" Sort of goes for hobbies too, they are supposed to enrich your life, not stress it.
       
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    18. I think the biggest thing for me is to not take the hobby too seriously. I used to get extremely emotionally invested, and it really wasn't healthy. They can sometimes feel like real little people who need attention and love and new things, but in reality, they're just dolls. They don't need anything or feel anything. There's no harm in putting them away for awhile and focusing on other things. They'll be there when you're ready again. Sometimes, a break is the best thing.

      My own love for the dolls tends to come and go. I've been pretty active in the hobby for years, but I do have days I feel like selling them all and quitting. On those days, I distract myself with other fun stuff, then re-evaluate my feelings later. It could be any number of reasons: if it's drama in the hobby, I step away from social media for awhile. If I'm not really liking a doll I own, I think about if I should sell it and get something I like better or if a new faceup or wig would change how I feel. If I'm stressed over the lack of money to get more dolls, I think about how bad I want the new doll, and if I'm willing to sacrifice any of my current dolls or other hobby stuff to get it, and what I'd do with it after getting it. I think the reason you're considering leaving could say a lot about what you need to change, whether it's something to renew your interest, or if it's time to take a break or move on.
       
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    19. I am actually going through with this right now... After shelling characters, one after another, I got really overwhelmed with the OCs and the story I had created for them, then I hit a road block with the story and the dolls themselves. I didn't touch them for months and just did not feel inspired by them anymore. Then I started playing FFXIV and created my 2nd OC, Brink as my character. He was refreshing and not tied to the original character I had for him for so many years! He only had the same name, hair/eye color, but everything else felt so new and unpredictable! That's when the idea struck me to get a doll version of him and a SD! I'm so obsessed with him and feel so inspired! And of course, I can't have Brink without his beloved wife, Zephii, so I purchased a SD girl to be her as well! I do plan on keeping their MSD selves too since I'm too attached to them, lmao. I've sold/selling ~10 dolls and it feels so much more manageable! I definitely do not want to go above 15-20 dolls ever again...

      But maybe do like the others have mentioned and put them away for a while? If you find yourself missing one or all of them, then maybe you do still treasure them. If you feel you can part with some, do it! I held onto my dolls for so long, it was actually a relief to rehome them, a lot of my friends were surprised when I sold a longtime grail of mine. :)
       
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    20. I lost my interest in another hobby because of BJD now I'm trying to get back.
       
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