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Fear of being disappointed?

Sep 19, 2017

    1. How to deal with it?

      Let's say you have a grail or just a doll that you love.
      You've been saving, planning, drawing concepts for the character, and let's not forget those painful months and months of waiting for a package.

      But when you finally receive her....and you feel nothing.
      She's pretty all right.
      The face-up is perfect.
      The clothes are fine.

      But you don't feel happy.

      Or maybe she looks different from the photos you've seen.
      Or there is just no 'click' between you two...
    2. I've had this happen a lot and generally I deal with it by selling the doll and buying another doll I admire.
      My most recent was my Volks F-34 who I was really excited about but when I got her I instantly felt like she didn't belong (She was beautiful, just not for me). I ended up scanning through sculpts and found myself dreaming about a Volks Tae, so I brought her instead. She turned out to be perfect for my character whereas the F-34 was not.
      Sometimes you need to see a doll in real life before you decide they aren't for you. :nowords:
      • x 3
    3. I've actually felt this way about BJDs as a whole. I obsessed about them online for aaaaaaages before finally getting a Bobobie Elfkin and then a Souldoll Tae in quick succession. And there's nothing. Everything I thought I would do with them I didn't.
      Recently I've decided that I need to get active with them or move on and I'm still working through that.
      • x 4
    4. My trick is to stare at as many unflattering owner photos as possible before deciding on a doll. That way I've seen them at their worst, so I'll know I love them!
      • x 23
    5. The first time it happened, I felt pretty down over it. In retrospect, I think the nature of this hobby, not being able to see most sculpts in person and often waiting months, in some cases the better part of a year makes an occasional disappointment inevitable.

      For people who have it happen with their first doll, I think it really sucks. I had a rude awakening about the diversity of neck sizes on BJDs, but I still liked my first doll.

      What I do now when I am not thrilled about a new doll is just put on an item or two I thought fit the character then set it aside a while and come back to it later. I have found sometimes I have to let the disappointment of not getting exactly what I expected fade to realize I do actually still like the doll. Other times I'm just not in a mindset where I can be all that excited about a chunk of resin because I'm busy/stressed/etc so I have to wait. In the end, if I come back to the doll and still feel disinterested, most BJDs haven't started to lose their value after a month. :thumbup
      • x 3
    6. THis happens with a lot of my dolls.
      I don't seem to click at first.
      My biggest disappointment is my most expensive doll. He cost me a good 1200 dollars and I was so excited for him to come, but to this day something still doesn't click.
      I don't think I've found the right with for his face structure.
      I know I like his mold
      his body
      his faceup
      I just need to play more. :)
      I allow myself to get excited about their arrival, but now I know not to expect perfection on the first try. :) I bond more with the dolls working on building them anyways, rather than having everything layed out for their arrival. It's trial and error. :)
      • x 2
    7. This happened with my first doll. When I opened the box I just felt kind of meh about him. It was very worrisome, since it was my first doll. I thought maybe this hobby wasn't for me. I do love his sculpt and body, I thought maybe it was just because his faceup wasn't right for him. But I stuck it out. I made him some nice clothes that fit for his character, and I repainted him this summer. I'm very happy with him now. Though, to be honest, he still isn't perfect for my character. I've bought several other dolls since then, and I'm happy to say that being disappointed is fairly rare for me. Perhaps it helps if you wait a long time for a doll? Sometimes I'll see a doll and be IN LOVE at first sight. But if I wait 6 months or more, I find that they aren't on my mind really. The ones that stay on my mind are the ones I know I want for realsies. But sometimes that still doesn't work for some folks. I think it's just part of the nature of the hobby.
      • x 1
    8. Sometimes it helps to style the doll in a way you normally wouldn't as well.
      You might still like the sculpt but it just might not fit in that particular style you had planned so I'd recommend playing with alternate designs too
      • x 3
    9. What helps me the most is if I wipe the faceup and do my own! Then the doll really feels like one of the family.
      • x 3
    10. I've had this happen to every doll I've bought thus far, but I can happily say that it did fade. For me, it was the fact that not only was I looking forward to the doll but I had also created an entire character for the doll and when it arrived it just didn't fit that character. I had even already ordered clothing, wigs, and accessories for the character I envisioned. I was disappointed that the doll wasn't who I thought they were, but I've discovered that by spending some time with the doll I was able to discover who their character actually is.
      • x 1
    11. It happened with my third doll. I wished for a DOD boy (my other 2 were girls) for years and when I finally bought it...wow, I was so disappointed. DOD boys made me fall in love with BJD in the first place. But we never clicked, I wasn't having fun with him at all and I tried A LOT (did a different faceup, concept, hair) and nothing. I sold him in the end.
    12. For me I find that buying second hand dolls will less likely cause the disappointment since you are able to request genuine pictures of the doll itself (therefore knowing what to expect from the actual product) and having to pay lesser than ordering from the company itself will ease some expectations off as well, since you know that if you truly cannot bond with your kid you can sell them off without too much loss and still have the budget to try for another sculpt.
      • x 1
    13. Isn't that the way with a lot of situations in life? The new restaurant just opening in town--not so good, the award winning broadway play--well, it was ok. I buy heads, yes I have a number of floating heads. I buy them blank, study on the default face-ups and then try to re-create it, with my own particular spin on it. If it pleases me, I then buy the body and then work on wig, clothing,
      • x 1
    14. I think that happens to most of us at some point... For me it was with a Migidoll Yujin. I wanted him. I was excited to get him. But when I opened the box? Nope. I didn't like him at all once I saw him "in person", so to speak.

      With something like a doll sculpt, I think depth and physical presence really do matter and it's very, very hard to tell what a three-dimensional object is really going to look like from nothing but two-dimensional photographs... Given that, occasional mismatches are pretty much inevitable. It's just the nature of the beast when you're buying sight-unseen.
      • x 1
    15. Haha...this is perfect.

      Anyway, my take on this is that don't sweat it too much. I think something like this is unavoidable. If it happens to you, don't feel bad. There are ways to deal with it, like selling the doll for example or giving them a new look. It can be very disappointing because we're spending time, money, and resources but this is part of the hobby and it happens all the time. In the end, do what you feel like doing. If you can't bond with the doll, sell it. Otherwise, re-create what you have in mind for that doll because the doll may not what you expected and doesn't fit the character you have in mind for that doll.
      • x 1
    16. I actually ordered a Mei Resinsoul in grey and I'm TERRIFIED I won't like her. I mean I probably will....but what if I don't? I've been yearning for her since I discovered her, and I have her whole story and everything. I'm so nervous... But so far I've clicked with all my dolls and love them to death so it'll probably be fine :).
      • x 2
    17. I was like that with one of my dolls, who was a bit of a spontaneous purchase. It took rewigging, a personality change and some modifications before I was satisfied.
    18. Sigh, this exact thing happened with myself and my grail doll. Thankfully, I know what caused it, his default face-up and body blushing was too plain compared to what I anticipated.
      I'm planning to re-work his face-up and body blushing in order to fix this! I already feel more excited about him now!

      I fear this happening with my second, much more expensive, doll who is a bit of a... reckless purchase.
    19. Sometimes , I find it easier to start out the character before you buy them. Say you enjoy role play, create the character first, try role playing several times or maybe even weeks before deciding to buy so you know the character. Something else you can do, If you enjoy making rooms for your dolls or miniatures, set up their space, decide which items they like and maybe buy them some clothing or props. Also remember that dolls sometimes do their own thing, so they may not end up exactly how you imagined them.
      • x 2
    20. This happened to me with my April Story Rebecca. Judging by the stock photos, she was perfect for my character, and they advertised a 10 day waiting period, so I was super happy! I even caught her on a 40% off sale!

      Then....the trouble began. She ended up taking two months to arrive, even though they promised 10 days, and that's after many excuses, untruths and even a fake tracking number. I had to file a claim with PayPal to get them to give me a real tracking number at all. The experience alone had already hurt my bond with her. She arrived, and while she was a stunning doll, she was MUCH darker than the photos, so dark in fact that the planned character faceup could not be done on her! (She was supposed to have freckles, but the resin was so dark that even black acrylic did not show up as freckles on her, and her soft pink lip gloss didn't either.) The wig I had chosen would have been perfect on the advertised resin color, but looked too light on the actual doll. All of these things combined just killed my excitement over her. I tried to make it work, and just simply could not at all. I ended up selling her within two months of receiving her.

      Oddly enough, my favorite dolls are dolls I didn't even plan! One, I got in a trade, one started as an event head and later got reshelled, one was a surprise birthday gift from my sister. I try to have no real expectations now because I'll usually be wrong. XD