Fickle Owners?

I find this to be wrong and kind of insulting...

I really can't speak for anyone but myself but from my own POV, I have had the same friends for years. I will have those same friends for years to come. I have no issues with relationships at all.
I drove my first Jeep into the ground, to the point where my family and friends were on my case constantly to get a new car for my own safety. I cried when I traded it in....I plan on doing the same to my current Jeep. This goes for a lot of my personal possessions.

Then we have the dolls.

It's been mentioned a million times over that these dolls are luxury. I cannot afford to drop multiple 100s on dolls every month, and if I could I'd be drowning in them. Space and money are an issue. This means I have to sell before I buy. Not always, but I usually look around at what I've got and try to decide if I could live without any of them.

I am also way more attached to most of my doll's characters than I ever will be physical doll itself. These are characters that (go figure) I've had a "relationship" with for more than 10 years and I'm not going to buy them a hugely expensive doll unless I really think it will work. Unfortunately it's hard to tell simply buy picture alone if that will work. Even more unfortunately, as the years have gone by more dolls get released. The doll that was perfect for XX today might be overshadowed by a new one that comes out tomorrow. And if that happens at all, chances are I was not completely happy with XX's doll anyway. I'm glad you can see into the future and know you'll be happy with your doll forever and ever, but not everyone has that ability....or even cares as much.

That said, of my first 7 dolls, I still have four, who will be 4 this year. I never want to get rid of them...yet I'm still a generally fickle person because I've sold others?

Here's another point. I enjoy selling almost as much as buying. No joke, I find it fun. For me it's as much a part of the hobby as anything else I do. I think maybe there might be others out there who feel this way too, or else the second hand market might not be quite as huge as it is...
Plus, I've sold several people their first doll! Or their dream doll even! I've had people thank me weeks and months later for selling them their doll that they enjoy so much. That's fabulous! How is that not so much better than that doll sitting around collecting dust on my shelf because I like it a little less than the one sitting next to it?

What we see on DOA is not a whole person. We see a tiny part of people here, in relation to one aspect of their lives, and it is very unfair to try and judge someone by how they enjoy a hobby. It would be very different if we were doing something wrong, stealing or ripping people off, but that's not the case. Selling toys is. Toys, not human beings or pets or anything that has actual relationship value.

And Taco is right...People really do spend too much time worrying about what others do with their dolls.

 

The BJD market is changing so fast, and dolls are available now that weren't even thought of several years ago. A new BJD guy comes on the market, and you can replace Mr. Almost Right with Mr. Perfect.
I think of it as "refining my collection" rather than being fickle.

 

CathyM & VampireAngel13 : yup, I agree!
this is why I really couldn't understand where sho-chan was going with that comment.
dolls are just luxury items. they don't have feelings nor do/say anything to you! because of that, they can be easilly replaced, unlike a pet or a friend.

if my doll was to be destroyed or stolen, I'd cry over the few hundred dollars I'd have lost. and then would get a new doll to replace the old one.
but if my friend, mom or cat(s) died, I would be broken. I wouldn't just go "well, I'll just go buy another cat at the pet store" NO, my cat is unique! it has its own personnaly, voice and even accent! and I wouldn't say either "well, I can always meet new people and get another best friend" once again, NO. we shared so many things, it could never be the same!
living things can not be replaced like objects can.


edit: I like the way you've put this!

 

Wow. I don't think there's any correlation between the way a person maintains their friendships or family relations and the way they regard things - the idea of it strikes me as completely absurd.

I think there are plenty of minimalists who keep very few objects and hang onto their childhood friendships/have long marriages/good relationships with their grown children and probably just as many people who are drinking out of their grandmother's tea cup and have disowned their kids, left their partners and dropped their friends.

 

How do you guys feel when you see a seller sell away their doll just to get another one?
I'll admit, I get a little confused. I'd be curious as to what turned that person off so quickly... but there are other things to consider. Maybe they had the unfortunate luck of having financial issues of some kind between ordering and delivery, and the doll has to go back because of poor planning.

I don't consider people who do this 'fickle,' either. Believing everyone who does this is just being 'fickle', and can't settle on other things in life either is a belief that seems obvious to some. Nothing is that obvious.

If you've done this, have you ever felt like...guilty at all?
Never had it happen, but if it happened, I might feel guilty because after the money and the emotional investment I put into the buying process, I have to let it go for whatever reason.

What are your own personal reasons for letting one go for another?
It's never happened before, but the only reasons I would personally let go of a doll is if there was a doll that looked much closer to my original idea. I can tell you, had I ended up waiting a little longer, I'd have went for the DM Kid Roo rather than the Flocke I have now; Roo looks much more like what I had in mind. I've invested too much into my Flocke, though, and I don't want to change.

If someone wants to change their doll for whatever reason, they can. If I've grown accustomed to seeing someone with one doll, then see them with another, I'll be a little sad, but I don't know what happened. They might've found a doll that jived better; they might've found a doll that looked closer to the character in mind, and would rather just buy that one than mod another? Maybe they have money issues and need to sell? I don't think it's anything as simple as just being 'fickle'.

Sure, there are people who have trouble deciding on a doll, and sometimes will buy it and not like it. But in the whole spectrum of life, buying dolls is the least of our problems. If someone goes from mate to mate, then they have issues far deeper than being fickle. They could be afraid of commitment, or of getting close. They could have issues with their sexuality. They could have issues where they need someone to control. They could be in a relationship for the wrong reasons. As you can see, being fickle is just the tip of the iceberg.

 

I see nothing wrong with it, I've done it before. I fell in love with Pukifee Pong, bought him on impulse, and sold him a few months later to pay for my Ren. Why? I loved his cute face but his size was awkward to sew for, I had no story for him, and knew someone else would be happy to have him.

Seeing a doll on a computer screen is way different than seeing them in real life. Once you've got doll in hand, it's easier to step back and really decide if you like them or not. Luckily this is a hobby where, if you change your mind, it's easy to sell the doll for close to what you paid for it and try again. Heck, I fell in love with 5StarDoll Tumnus and waited on a 6 month layaway for him. Now he's being sold as well. Do I still love the sculpt? Absolutely! But his size is awkward for me and as such, he mostly just sits around.

They're dolls, they don't have feelings and don't care if they're sold to fund another doll. Honestly, if they DID have feelings, they'd probably be happier in a home where someone would love them properly than in a home where someone was just keeping them because they'd feel bad otherwise.

 

Indecisive is a neutral word, fickle to many people is not. In asking people if they think it is shallow, you give the impression that you think it is shallow. It's like if I made a thread asking if it was reprehensible to charge PayPal fees. Using the word reprehensible makes my sentiments rather obviously known even if I mean the question to be neutral.

The community feels you should be careful how you choose, because the owner should try to pick a doll they like. I've really not seen anywhere in the community where others have suggested you should just hold onto dolls because they're expensive. I remember back in the day when it was always suggested you could get your money back if you needed it, but that is not quite the same thing and relates more to being able to sell.

You can carefully collect dolls and even value them sentimentally and still sell a doll as soon as you receive it. Just to give a few examples, depending on the dolls you buy: Soom monthlies, Volks LEs, LaTi LEs, a newly released doll, a doll from a new company, the buyer is taking a risk and only has promotional photos to go by. If you get the doll and it does not appeal to you the promotional pictures did, people sell the doll. Someone has to always be the one to take that risk. You can't just go to a meet and hope to see the current Soom monthly.

I've sold dolls as soon as I've received them, but I also have several dolls I value sentimentally (but still see as dolls and value like I value any of my sentimental possessions.) My oldest doll is from 2002 and is nearly 10 years old. I don't agree with your supposition that its either or and that you can't feel differently about each individual doll even.

Dolls are not alive and it's OK if you play favorites and don't see all your dolls as equals.

 

How do you guys feel when you see a seller sell away their doll just to get another one?
I understand pretty much every reason a seller may sell their dolls. What I do not approve of is people buying a doll just to turn around and flip an absurd profit.

If you've done this, have you ever felt like...guilty at all?
Not really. I think it would be better for other people to have the opportunity to own this sculpt since it didn't work out for me.

What are your own personal reasons for letting one go for another?
Money, loss of interest in the doll, changing doll themes and storylines, biting off more than I could chew, etc. etc. Whatever money I get from selling dolls and their accessories go back into buying dolls and accessories 90% of the time. I do seem fickle with my collection because they are just dolls to me. They're not vessels that have the life of my characters breathed into them. They're physical representations of my characters that sit on my shelf and I play with on occasion. To me, they're a fun artistic outlet.

 

I do this all the time. I let go of dolls and am known as an incredibly fickle owner by friends in the hobby. I have no regrets; I get to see a lot of cool dolls in person, own them for awhile, have great memories, and then move on to suit my ever changing needs, stories, characters, whatever I like, and get to continue having a great experience collecting. And in the end, I've always come out with more knowledge, experience and over all enjoyment. Sometimes I miss a doll I used to own, and I've regretted selling a few, but when I look at the collection I already have, or the collection I'm going to have, it's not like my house -- or heart? - is going to be empty of dolls, ever.

Dolls are collectibles. I am very attached to them -- and I've even sold dolls that I'm attached to! - but at the end of the day, it is not uncommon for collectors in a hobby to buy, sell, and frequently trade what they have. If dolls were baseball cards, owners often would keep the cards they love best, then sell or trade for ones that they liked more but didn't have yet. Sometimes, a baseball card incurs value over time, and then, after the owner has gotten their gratification from having owned that card, they can sell it on to buy even more cards that they're going to enjoy. Regardless of sentimental attachment, or how I personally see the hobby (as an art or creative outlet beyond its collectible aspect, etc, etc), I still see it in a collector's light, as well.

In my opinion, guilt is a nonsensical word to apply to this kind of situation, designed to make people feel bad for 'not being loyal' to the pieces of plastic they own. I've had people ask me about it before, but the only time I feel guilty is when I've done something immoral. Selling a doll isn't, unless its stolen. No matter how frequently a clean sale is done by an owner or how cool or new the doll being sold is. ;o)

edit: And I one hundred percent agree with Hervoyel; how one regards objects is most definitely not the same as how one regards people. Some points in cases, from a psychological standpoint!:

-a very sloppy person who lives in a messy house excels in a customer service position, enjoying and valuing their connections to others, even on a touch and go basis.
-a psychopathic individual with no real connection to people takes utmost care of their home, to the point of the home -- and all objects within it - being sterile.

The beauty of psychology is that it as a science is continuously evolving; it corrects its own misconceptions (remember when homosexuality was a mental illness?) as those in the field become more educated and learn more about the human body, mind, and the scientific compositions of how both work to dictate the other. It is ridiculous to say that those who are fickle with dolls are fickle with people: unless of course, that individual sees a doll as a person, or there is a specific case in mind, which is not the norm. That notion, of a doll being 'real', on its own could lead into other psychological issues altogether at a certain point, since it is a fact that dolls are not living people, just effigies of them. That is the point of dissection in which one could -- and they have! - start another debate on inappropriately applied sentiments to simple objects, or under what circumstances 'could' a doll be considered 'living'.

But that's off topic for this discussion.

 

You could start it if you want, but I think probably everyone would tell you the same thing: The vast majority of the time, we're buying these dolls online, sight-unseen-- with no guarantees that they'll look exactly like (or anything like) the photos we used to make our decisions. We're going on a LOT of faith. If sometimes you don't like what you receive, you resell it. Impulse doesn't have to be involved in any part of it.

I don't think there's a debate there anyway, because "people buying too much on impulse" is simply way too (A) broad and (B) judgmental. You'll never be able to make any generalization stick to any group of real people. Some people buy on impulse & then resell their dolls immediately; some people buy on impulse & keep their dolls forever; some people do tons of research & keep their dolls forever; some people do tons of research & then resell their dolls immediately.

Saying that you think the whole community is impulse-shoppers would just be an invitation to more drama. You'd also offend a bunch of people who are quite happy to be impulse-shoppers and don't need any nagging from a total stranger about it. All you'd be doing is setting up another "I think everybody's hobby should be run THIS way" trap. Which we're all sick of.

You may just have to take an evening to absorb the fact that many people resell their dolls without being fickle, indecisive, shallow, or OCD. And I promise you, the dolls really don't care one way or the other whether they're being sold! ^^

(Also... people still spend too much time worrying about what other people do with their own toys.)

 

I do not see a problem with people selling their dolls, If they need the money and they no longer like their doll it should be up to them to give the doll a better home. The only doll that I will never ever ever sell is my first BJD ever, and this is because I am way too attached to her. However I do have quite a few of them coming my way, and I am just worrying that they wont be what I imagined them to be....I have learned that I really think about which dolls I will get. I do not want to jump into anything because as we all know this hobby is not a cheap one, and I have to give up other things to be able to afford it.

 

Another thing to remember is not everyone here is in the same financial situation. It is generally considered gauche to discuss money, but I am sure there are members of the community that the purchase of a doll is not a huge financial decision or burden.

And again, the purchase might be carefully thought out but there is an inherent risk when buying on-line, sight unseen. To again use myself as an example, I sold upon arrival my LaTi Yellow LE Alice in Wonderland Bayer. I had 2-3 week period to order Bayer. In the promotional pictures, Bayer was adorable and the make-up was somewhat gender neutral and could work for a girl or a not very masculine boy. I was excited to receive my Bayer after waiting several months but upon opening the box, I discovered he/she had very pretty but very pronounced blue eye shadow. This was not going to work at all for the character I had in mind, and why wipe the face-up when I could spend a lot less and get the same doll blank? Bayer went up as soon as I could get some pictures together. The person who bought Bayer was happy to get a sold out LE that they wanted sans wait and with much lower shipping. It was a win win situation.

 

^ That. Exactly that. I have often bought perfect dolls who just didn't end up working for me, for whatever reason.

 

Ephemeral Dream: from reading your latest posts I now see that you are genuinely asking in a spirit of enquirey about something which is so contrary to your way of thinking that you just want to understand. Your original Question, the way it is worded and some of your earlier posts have come off a bit judgemental even if you did not intend them to. Sho Chan didn't help your case by wading in, either.

Yes, for the majority (I'm guessing) the word "fickle" has quite negative connotations, it makes someone sound flakey and a little air-headed, perhaps even pathologically unable to form attachments, and I doubt anyone would ever enjoy being called "shallow". The big point is though, it doesn't matter if Person x buys an expensive doll on a whim, looks at it straight out of the box and goes "Naaaaa" and posts it straight on the MP, only to sell it, immediately buy another and then sell that too, on and on... It doesn't matter and it's no ones business but their own what they do with their money or how they go about buying and selling their dolls.

Maybe it will take Person X 20 goes before they finally find the perfect doll and settle. Maybe they never will and the cycle will be repeated over and over. If you know Person X in real life you might get concerned and worry about how they are wasting their money, or the constant roller coaster of excitement/anticipation/dissappointment they seem to be on, but, if they are just people on the internet you barely know, why is it of concern to you?

There are a few collectors I know to chat to on the internet who go through a less dramatic version of the Person X scenario, I don't understand it, it isn't how I enjoy my dolls, sometimes I roll my eyes when I see them put their latest "grail Doll" up for sale a few weeks/months down the line, but at the end of the day, it's their life! Live and let live, enjoy your dolls and the virtual company/real life company of your fellow BJD enthusiasts, take a step back and stop trying to dictate how they enjoy their dolls.