Fighting that Doll stereotype

jeez I have a lot of labels attached to me
cat lady
crazy doll lady
Mom
boss lady
I love photography but no one other than a paid model will pose and do as I say unless it is a BJD.
even my cats wont pose for me. Just try getting a well paying photographers job I know thats not going to happen for me as I have my own company to run and my DH wont allow me to run around the world to exotic locations and still stay married to him.
BJD's allow me to enjoy my photography and only complain when the wind shoves them over or when they want a new wardrobe.
I also enjoy collecting their miniture clothing that they don't ruin or grow out of
Many people think it is childish and expensive until I ask them about their Hummels, guns, knives, cars or plate collection. Coins or Jewelry that mostly sits in a safe or 600.00 a pair shoes that you have to cut a toe off to make them fit your feet
Lets face it as adults most of us are collectors of something me I will keep my dolls and cats and ignore all negative people.

 

I'm uber new to BJDs, but I'm *OLD* to a lot of these discussions--I'm in my late 40s, I've been in "alternate subcultures" since I was a teenager and discovered that I wasn't the only weird kid in the world, and I also currently am involved in reborn dolls as an artist--I actually stopped rooting a baby doll's hair a minute ago to check into the forum here.

Fact of the matter is, it all boils down to the very human attitude of What I like is cool and normal and right. What you like is creepy and abnormal and wrong. Kind of like--What I like is erotica, what you like is porn. It happens inside of subcultures and collector communities, too--there's a forum called DollyDrama for baby doll collectors to rip each other to proverbial shreds. It's just what it is, and I'm finally old enough and experienced enough to not take it personally.

Also--I've run into a LOT of people with doll phobias, and they're going to react adversely to anyone over the age of ten with any kind of doll. You just have to remind them that it's THEIR problem, not yours. And maybe suggest a nice therapist.

 

Rosettastone- I like your attitude!

 

Thanks! It comes with age. Alas. *deep sigh*

 

I think that bjd owners do get a bad rep. for owning a 'doll'. I remember after recently getting my doll people kind of looked at me funny wondering why the heck I was buying a doll at my age! People constantly ask me "isn't that kind of weird?" I usually respond that although it seems weird to other people what my hobbies are, they aren't the one doing them so they should butt out. As for the 'goth' stereotype I have to admit that I haven't really encountered any 'goth' bjd owners. I more got Daichiro because he was cute and it was a really good business investment and I'm not by any means considered 'goth.' Weird, maybe, but I like to phrase myself as 'ecclectic'. =^_^=

 

lol brilliant ^_^

 

I think we affix the stereotypes ourselves. The hobby is still too novel [10 years old] to have a sociology already developed so all we can go on is based on anecdotal evidence. The majority of doll owners, as made evident from my interactions within the community, are "social deviants" as prescribed by the outside culture.

Let's step out of this for a moment. Where I live, individuals with copious amounts of physical body adornment such as facial piercings and colorful - or a lack thereof - are considered deviant. Most of these deviants have tattoos; therefore, tattoos are associated with the deviance.

I have a feeling the hobby is similar.

If you're standing there in full EGL costume and explaining to a individual (who would find EGL to be a form of social deviance) what ABJDs are then you're generating a stereotype to outsiders regarding the entire doll community. Most doll owners I know seem to fall outside of the normalcy of society (but this is just my observation) and therefore all their habits would then be perceived as eccentric; including the collection of ABJD. A lot of owners also engage in behaviors that outsiders may find peculiar; such as talking to their dolls or believing the dolls to have manifested souls and lives. This is what you may be referring to what makes them "creepy."

Dolls are inherent to all societies; if individuals are being put off by them then I don't think it's the actual dolls that are the stigma.

Like I've said at the beginning, this is all anecdotal observation and shouldn't be internalized as fact.

 

This is very interesting, and an excellent point about this still being a new enough hobby that it hasn't developed its own sociology yet--nor has it been around long enough for it to be familiar enough to folks outside the hobby that it's regarded as a little weird but not too.( I have two degrees in sociology, so I applaud your insight.)

I'm also involved with reborns--realistic baby dolls--and there has been so much bad press about that in the last year or so that women (mostly women) are getting really defensive. I've been asked by total strangers, when out with a baby doll I've made, if I was compensating for miscarriages! The last time I got that I answered "I really don't think that question is worthy of an answer." Imagine a man who collects cars or builds model railroads being asked in public by strangers if he's compensating for having a small penis. The answers would probably involve fists and the police.

I have the great good fortune of living in the city that hosts Anthrocon with welcoming enthusiasm every year--http://www.anthrocon.org/ -- and I just realized after a weekend of Furries in full costume out in the city, the local folks really aren't all that put out by adults with dolls!

 

Well I fit a lot of stereotypes affixed with BJD collecting (goth, love Japanese culture, somewhat antisocial) and while I can't say these are the reasons I'm interested in collecting, I think it would be naive for me to say it has nothing to do with it. One of my favorite things about BJDs are the pale skintones and the wide availability of EGL clothing.

As for the stereotype and fighting against it, I would just say to not let other people peg you as something you are not. This forum is proof that the stereotype does not ring true. So I would say that you should ignore it and realize that there will be people that will always think the stereotype.

Lastly, sorry to veer off topic but just to touch on the subject of reborn dolls that rosettastone brought up. I've been on various doll forums and can testify that reborns do get a bad reputation, even among other doll collectors. I personally have no interest in them, but it saddens me to see other doll collectors passing judgement. There are enough people in the world who are very against doll collecting, so while everyone is (obviously) entitled to their opinion, I would encourage doll collectors in being more open minded to other doll collectors.

 

Labels suck. That's all there is to it, really. All because someone wears black or likes punk-ish or rock music doesn't mean they're emo. All because someone likes horror movies or does something weird to their hair doesn't make them goth. All because someone likes comic books and anime doesn't mean they're a dork or a nerd. All because someone wears a designer brand doesn't make them a brat or a snob or a prep. I absolutely despise labels and labelers, although I do it myself. For that I'm ashamed.
I hate it when my friends call my doll creepy or scary, and say that I'm weird or crazy for buying him. I love him a lot, and I'm really interested in them. Since when is it a crime to like something that's not 'normal'? What the heck is 'normal' anyway? I mean, everyone's weird in their own right. Personally, I think being normal is boring. I'd rather watch anime with friends, or make stupid videos for Youtube, or play with dolls or draw manga. And it's not like we don't have any social lives because of it, like mentioned before. I get out A LOT and have a ton of friends, even if they may be a little 'weird' as well.
But I'd rather hang out with a bunch of alledged weirdos then be bored being 'normal'. Live life how you want, and ignore what the rest of the world thinks. As long as you're happy and aren't hurting anyone, then no one should judge you.

 

Almost all of my friends think that the dolls are some how creepy and "possessed".


And when I look at them in class, kids are coming up to me "OMG! Thats SO weird! You're weird for looking at those 'Things'"

They aren't weird. they're beautiful.

 

I finally got one of my dolls and have been taking him everywhere I go. I'm sure people think I'm nuts when I walk around the car to the passenger seat, and open the door to take Liina out of the car and into the restraunt. He's a white-skin doll with a REALLY blue face-up and long silvery white hair. He'd even been blushed blue for me.

Do people think I'm crazy? Probably, but I live in a small town, so I'm sure eventually someone will have something to say. So far the only people that said anything were the nice serving ladies at the chinese food place and they all thought he was pretty and wanted to pet his hair.

I personally don't like labling people, because you're wrong more often than you're not. I know because people look at me and go 'GOTH!' and 'EMO!' and I just look at them in confusion and go 'Whut?' because I'm just not. So I'm not sure about doll-labling, because I don't know enough people around me with dolls that are that unusual. The ones I've met are frighteningly normal! I mean, normal in my sense of the word, which is pretty much saying we're all differant but we get along well.

My god, if someone accused me of normalicy, I think I might actually be slightly offended.... >> I dread being a boring normal person. I like being unusual. The world needs more of it, I think.

 

XD I would be offended too! I feel like I've always been strange and I actually like that I'm so different from most of the people I know...outside of my close friends. ^^

I don't care if people judge me because of what I collect or how I look or whatever. In a way, I think that's more their problem than mine, ya know?

And I know what you mean about the whole "goth" and "emo" thing. I used to dress in what a lot of people would consider "goth" clothes (it really wasn't, but I know how things like that go) and I'm sure people thought that I was goth or emo or whatever, but I never considered myself goth or emo. I've never really considered myself anything like that. I dress how I dress because I like it or because I'm comfortable. Sometimes I wear all black, red and black striped knee socks and heavy makeup. Sometimes I just wear jeans and a t-shirt. Sometimes I wear nice black pants and a nice top and curl my hair. XD This is why people shouldn't be judged based on how they dress or what their hobbies are. You never know who they are outside (or inside) of that.

Yes, I like everything Japanese. I write and I collect dolls. I go to conventions, but I don't have a set style or a group that I associate with.

I know a group is often judged by what a few people do, look like, etc., but from what I've seen in this hobby (mostly from the outside since I only have like 2 "doll friends"), the people here are much too diverse, in so many ways, to be lumped together under a stereotype. And I feel this way about any stereotype because I believe that each person is an individual.


Aaaannnnd....I talk too much. ^^;;;

 

*hug!* That is entirely me. Some days I feel cute and so I put on something nice and do my hair and stuff. Some days I feel wacky and I spike my hair up (and that's a LOT of hair, since it's more than half-way down my back) and spray it purple or something and wear fun clothes or I just throw on the nearest pair of jeans and a t-shirt and sweat shirt and kick on some shoes.

I am not a 'type' of any sort really. Although I hang out with other people who are goth or emo, or even ravers, I'm just not. I don't like being typed by a 'scene'. Hell, I take my laptop with me and go hang out at the nearby Denny's and talk to the manager and the servers and cooks and stuff. XD They're nice folks, and they don't care how long I sit there drinking cherry cokes with my lappy.

Normal is over-rated. *nodnod*

 

I've always been seen as weird and creepy, even though I'm signifigantly less Goth than I used to be and I'm more of a dark hippy. A pacifist that likes the macabre. I don't have any BJDs yet but I have a Pullip I take to school a lot. Some people think she's creepy (a good thing), or that she's just adorable (also a good thing). I guess what I'm getting at is that for me I've always been used to being called weird and now I take it as a compliment. Maybe one day you'll be able to do the same.

 

I think it's a little odd that people here have such a thing against being "normal"...since I'm not exactly sure what type-casts someone as being "normal" anyway. I see alot of people here defending their choice of clothes whether it be bright, wacky colors or punky or whathaveyou because they like being seen as different or strange. I'm just curious, does that make you think because you have this percieved notion of being "different" that you are somehow better than people who like to wear more common things or are interested in 'preppy' things like designer labels and such? I'm not really pointing fingers or calling out some sort of reversed elitism or anything, I just think it's startlingly odd. It's sort of like saying that someone who likes shopping at Hollister and has a dog that can fit in their purse is way too boring and not the type to understand dolls and the people who collect them and certainly not the type to collect them themselves. That's a huge stereotype in itself. That somehow liking something that's a little more mainstream somehow makes someone lose their individuality is just, in my mind, pretty idiotic.

 

personally I don't think anybody is 'normal' anymore. There are so many ways a person can look, so many things to be interested in, that I think in someone else's eyes you will always be weird lol And if your not interested in anything or dress so average then thats weird lol You can't win really

Back to the doll stereotype though... Do you think it will ever change?? Do you think dolls will always be considered this way? As someone pointed out, doll collecting is still sorta new.

 

I'm not sure there really is a normal, and sometimes the people that seem the most "normal" end up having a lot of quirks of their own. It's all a matter of perception and what you're accustomed to. That's why I'm very doubtful that's it's actually worth struggling to be perceived as normal or not normal or whatever, since everyone has different standards anyway.

 

I guess you need to learn to pursue your passion and not worry about what others think about it. As long as nobody gets hurt, who cares, really.