Fighting that Doll stereotype

i dont think the kerli video is being stereotypical .. just talkin about that one doll.
because. . their shouldnt be any doll stereotypes because a doll can be any style , any personality, any level of cuteness or creepyness

 

I don't really give a flying toss either. I'm not goth, I'm not lolita. I might be a little weird, but I am mostly just me. I don't want to give myself a label, so I don't. I'm a home school student, I hate my town and most of the people in it. I don't care if they want to stereotype me, I'll bloody well collect dolls if I want to. In the end, it doesn't really matter what people think about, just what you think about yourself.

 

Adding to this thread...
Once while I was in the psychology class. A teacher said that if a 20 year old and above female has stuffed animals all over her bed or toys around her room males should watch out for those types of girls because that meant they were mentally immature. Same for the grown males with collector trains.

Do you think this would also apply to Abjds as well? Do you feel it's true?

 

No. Mentally immature men are the ones who get Porsches & toupees and run away with the secretary as soon as they feel their virility slipping. Mentally immature women are the ones who place all their self-worth in the number of Prada label goods they own, & then get their breasts and lips artificially inflated with their own ass-fat so they can be the 2nd wives of the abovementioned men. You can spot such women in public by the way they address their husbands as "Daddy". Oddly enough, and contrary to your teacher's exhortations, men seem to love mentally-immature women-- they're weak and suggestible, they're easy to keep off-balance through insecurity, and they don't question your virility.

Among men, model trains / villages are still a time-honored hobby for perfectly sane retirees (in addition to being the bailiwick of those who simply like to spend all weekend in the basement cutting out perfect 1:12 duck ponds & making the whoo-whoo noise ^^). Dolls are, likewise, a time-honored hobby for perfectly sane women of all ages.

So it sounds to me like your teacher is just a bit of a Scrooge who fancies himself witty. He's probably one of those guys who thinks you can predict how a woman will age by looking at her mother. He also sounds woefully out of touch with the times: What does he make of the maturity-level of today's generation of Xbox/PlayStation grownups? These days, mature adults who don't own at least one gaming console are often seen as being prematurely fuddy-duddy.

I think it was Rita Rudner who best encapsulated the notion of male mental maturity: "They never mature anyway, so you might as well get yourself a young one."

 

I wonder what the teacher would have to say about grown people with video games all over their rooms? What about comic books? This isn't an attack on this post, but rather I am curious about the "psychological" approach to this thought. I think that this is a stereotype that should not be imposed on people, especially not with a "scientific" approach. I mean, how do you measure immaturity? I cannot think of a single scientific study that could prove or disprove immaturity in all of its forms.

Personally my psychiatrist is absolutely fascinated by my dolls. He thinks it is an extremely healthy hobby, as I am creative with them (sewing, faceups, stuff like that) and they led me into a very good crowd of friends.

I think the weirdest comment I have ever gotten, rudest as well, was when I was talking about going to a meet. Conversation as such:

"So you're taking your dolls to see people with other dolls and 'play with them'?"

"..." (This being after I had explained the photo sessions, I was wondering what she thought playing with our dolls meant to us)

"So it's like a playdate? Are you a child again?" And she laughed so hard at her own 'cleverness'.

Honestly? I couldn't believe she had to simplify it to such terms in order to wrap her head around it. And as rude as it was, I still laugh at how she apparently couldn't think of it any other way.

 

With people like THAT, LilacForFirstLove, all you need to do is nod and say "Yes" to whatever you think will make sense to them. Clearly, they're not going to Get It, not even if you sat there and took an hour to explain your hobby to them. Their preconceptions are a brick wall. They're not looking for you to give a real answer-- they're just looking for an affirmation of whatever pigeonhole they already have in their heads. So just give it to them, & move on with your life. "Yep, that's it, I'm off to a play date. Screw you very much, have a nice day," etc., etc.

It's actually quite easy to pacify lower life forms when you know what they want.

 

Yeah, I kind of figured that it didn't matter what I said, so I just kind of blew it off. The point was that it seemed the stereotype she placed me in was "childish, immature, and obsessed with toys." I had not, to be honest, gotten this reaction before. I'd seen weird, mentally unstable, unconventional, "trying to avoid reality," stupid, and a lot of other generally negative reactions... but everyone else at least seemed to think that I was not a child with a baby/barbie doll. I was kind of floored, even though afterward I wondered if anyone else got this reaction, that they were mentally regressing to the age of whatever.

 

Oh sure, yes! I bet most of us here have gotten that: you're either a mentally-stunted little girl who's still clinging to her toys, or else you're a crazy old doll lady. Muggles tend to have one reaction or the other (which is why I don't give their comments much weight). Clearly, in your case, what was immature/stunted was that person's frame of reference... grownups have collected dolls for a very very long time, it's an established hobby, & most sensible people already know this.

(Of course, other people might tell you to take the high road & seriously make an effort to enlighten those who abuse you - instead of brushing them off with disdain - but I am not always a fan of the high road. The low road, when called for, often gets you there faster & much more satisfyingly, with fewer piles of bullshit to get stuck in your tires. ^~)

 

I;m still waiting on my first BJD and already my mother thinks i'm extremely weird and too old for dolls. I'm 18 and yet she has forbidden me to take dolls outside of the house for her own fear of people thinking i'm mentally challenged and weird. It makes me mad when she says all these mean hateful things about a hobby that I love.

 

My psychiatrist was also absolutely fascinated by my dolls, but at first it was far more of a concern rather then her thinking it was healthy to be honest. She even asked me if my doll was life sized. When i explained that i liked the creative side of it she then thought it was more OK. But i do admit she did seemed more concerned at first then thinking it was healthy.

She thought it was healthy about the meet though because i explained that some of them and the ones i planned where meeting up with people with a common interest and she thinks it was healthy because it was me getting out of the house.

She then went on to my role-play hobbie and i then had to explain that. She also thought that was normal after explaining it. But at first she did think both where forms of escapism until i explained it. But to be honest going back to the comment that got all the re-plies about comic books and playing on computers etc.

I don't think it is the hobbies them selves that are immature or weird it is how people act who happen to be into them. And to be honest the doll crazies on here who are crazy, over shadow the others who have it as a sensible hobbies because to be honest which would people find it more fun/interesting to talk about. The girl who takes photo's of her dolls in the artistic way and makes clothes and uses meets to meet new people who they have something in common with. Or the crazy who carries the doll every where with them like a little dog in there hand bags while they are talking out loud to it and telling people that it talks back.

I think that is the main reason some of these hobbies get bad names, because the bad examples make the conversation or news more. Where the good ones people aren't as interested in because they are doing nothing wrong.

 

lol, I have to applaud you guys...
Those are VERY good points.
I couldn't think of anything to say back to my psychology teacher at the time that was as cleverly said. But I estimate my teacher was like 45 yrs old, so I can agree with the views being outdated for sure.
He would of probably thought Xbox/PlayStation grownups are immature too.

It's funny how the said above is socially acceptable but yet time-honored hobbies are not or may be considered odd due to the fact very few people participate in them and it's not mainstream or constantly in the media in good light. The media tends to skew reality to the extreme sometimes.

I have to agree with this.

Adding to this about an experience I had once:
One time I went to the mall, and they had a petshop, there was nothing but little puppies there. I was looking at the dogs they had for sale just to look with no intention to buy. And there was a guy and a woman looking at a puppy, the guy said "isn't this one cute?" and the woman said "Oh!!, he's cute but he's just too big"... the guy then said "it don't matter if he's big or not as long as he's a good dog"...she then said "Ahh, well he won't fit in my purse that I already bought."

Yet this is socially acceptable.
Whereas photographing your works of art is considered odd and childish.

 

I've only read the first post and speak only for myself here.

I'm not gothy, by any definition. I'm not particularly girly either. I like pink, but I wear jeans. I consider myself closer to the fashion community than to the alternative community, but can't stand being in a room with fashionistas for more than a moment, whereas I can spend 3 days at a con without breaking a sweat.

My dolls are normal. They look like normal girls, natural faceups, normal color hair, and normal color eyes (except one which has red eyes right now because its the only glass pair I have, soon they'll be brown like they should be).

I don't intend on ever having any 'extreme' dolls. If I want a particularly outrageous or fantasy look, I'll use 'makeup', costume, and photo tricks like I would with a real model, but when its all over, they'll be normal again.

Between how I dress myself and how I conduct myself around and with my dolls, I show myself to be normal, but different. I'm not extreme, people aren't afraid to approach me, even if I am holding a doll.

Basically, I define myself. My dolls don't define me, I define them. They are my models, and I am their owner.

As for being in the wrong hobby, people will pin you as whatever they want, as gothic or childish or wanting to be Japanese (if they knew the doll's origin).. So just be you Define yourself.

 

All I can pretty much say is that people outside of the hobby might not understand. For example if someone collects like....hmm...odd photographs of weird things, ousiders might consider it weird. Whereas for dolls, when someone sees these dolls, the weird obviously floats about for them.
Dolls don't generally attract the weird people.
Heck, in those things you pointed out, yeah pretty much but that statement REALLY doesn't apply to everyone. XD

 

I know people think it is OK with the dogs in some places, but where i am we do kind of talk the piss about that and it is a general thing. But society does change depending on where you are.

I am happy you agree with me though, because i find some doll owners Ok and are normal sensable people, but i have met some where i have though they where "bat sh*t crazy" but i think that can happen in any hobby. And it is media that does this but it is people that go to the extreme that get more attention because as i said, people talk about the crazies more.

No one things it is weird i have dolls, some people think it is a little sad it is based on one of my D&D characters, but when i explain it was was the most interesting thing i could think of people say fair enough. One guy comment that he checked if it was OK that i had dolls and he said i found yeah it is fine because you are a girl. (Yes i know that is another debate in itself).

As i have said, no one thinks it is weird that i have a doll, a lot of people i know actually are impressed with her detail. The think i might have spent a bit too much in their opinion but they don't think that is a bad thing, they see it as my money.

I even did a photo shoot of my doll touring Manchester which is the 2nd (ish) biggest city in the UK and people didn't bother. I couple of people just watched but i got no bad hassle. So i do have to admit i do wonder what people do to get bad attention, i think either A they live in a area where people do react to things like that, or B they must do something else that people think it is weird. I.e. it is more then just the dolls.

But mind you Manchester is a big town for students we have 4 uni's so i think people just assumed i was an art student or something. But i have never got bad press about my doll.

 

I was talking to one of my friends about the doll I'm saving for, and she told me she only doesn't like that when people buy more than one of them. I told her I thought eventually I'd have several, and she told me she thinks I have weird hobbies. For reference, I'm trying to learn to make dollhouse miniatures out of clay. I guess that's fair to say. There aren't really very many "normal" hobbies. I've tried a lot of different clubs and hobbies and things, and I've never once met the illusive normal person. Everyone's a little bit weird. I know people that go out and have sword fights with real swords while dressed in clothing modeled after things they wore in the middle ages on the weekends. Weird is in the eye of the beholder.

 

Soon to be another hobbie of mine, personally i think it will be good exercise and a lot of my friends really like it. I don't think there is any thing weird about fights with real swords while dressed in clothing modeled after things they wore in the middle ages on the weekends. Although most places these days use foam swords. A couple still do use real ones but that is because they want to be more historically accurate, but people who do that can get paid to do that kind of thing in movies, TV shows and stuff.

Plus i don't see the different between one doll and more then one doll for it being weird. You get bored just taking photo's of one doll all the time if you take photo's artistically.

 

I hear ya! I'll be twenty next March but I don't think I'm too old to "play with dolls"! This is how I think of it: BJDs satisfy every perspective of my creative thinking--writing, photography, painting, storytelling/roleplaying, drawing, sewing....the list is endless. And in the end of it I have another friend. Because, yes, my dolls have their own personality, and while I may have created it, they adapt it and change it themselves over time. I've always been the type to find comfort in dolls or pets when I'm upset instead of people. *shrug*

My mom also thinks BJDs are creepy, no matter what I try to say to explain how the hobby works. She's very dead-set about it, and she never TELLS me why. It's just "They're creepy!" And just shakes her head and walks away. So...I'm trying to figure out how to tell her that I oredered one back in September, and that he'll be here by the end of this month. How do I do this?? I'm at a point in my life where I REALLY need my mom's approval/appreciation and her making fun/saying mean things about this thing that I love so much really drags me down. Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? How did you go about it?

 

I just point out they can't be for kids since they cost so much money, plus dolls can be kind of creepy but that is just how they are. There is soemthing about the human mind that can't handle things looking like then, hence why dolls can bother some people so much. Volks dolls freak me out, i find those ones very creepy.

 

Yeah, that's true! I never thought about it that way before. I think the more realistic they are the better. But I like fantasy dolls like elves and fairies, so I think it's the draw of having something not real, "real", if that makes any sense. lol The Volks dolls kind of freak me out too, but hey, to each her own, they say. Maybe this is something else I can use against my mom, haha. I'll be like, "See? Even BJD owners think some dolls are creepy. It's all about what you like and don't like."

 

I do like the fantasy dolls to, mine first doll was a fantasy doll But yeah i think they are creepy. And even to the extent i won't let my sister have her pot dolls in the room ^^; lol. But try not to worry about your mum to much, she just might be a little concerned because parents can do that. I told my parents they where collectors items.