Fighting that Doll stereotype

Dolls have always had a creepy side in popular culture. It's because they're miniature humans, so it's easy for people to imagine all sorts of things about them, including creepy things. You don't get people telling stories about haunted teddy bears, for example.
Whether it's ABJDs or other dolls, there'll always be someone who thinks dolls are creepy.
I think an appropriate response to someone who says your dolls are creepy would be, 'you don't think soft toys are creepy, do you?'
I suspect some people just aren't used to the way ABJDs look... I doubt it's going to be a longlasting stereotype... Then again, I come from a different country...

 

And then add to that "girls' rpg into womanhood" concept that someone (like a BJD owner) likes dressing herself (or himself.. and optionally said dolls) up in the gothic lolita fashion, I can see how some people would assume it's some phase they are going through before "growing up". Goth/punk etc overall might be more connected to immaturity, refusal to grow up however, by those who haven't understood it's more than a shallow and temporary fashion statement, and in fact a subculture/lifestyle.



A similar topic was discussed on a Swedish BJD forum, the gothic stereotype didn't really come up, but where in summary people had experienced these prejudices/stereotypes (that have already been more or less expressed in this thread):

Prejudices about BJD owners
- poor/insufficient quality of life
- immaturity
- strange sexuality

Prejudices about BJDs
- baby substitute
- barbie dolls
- anime dolls


So yes, it's annoying many seem to assume BJD ownership is the result of a non-normal lifestyle with BJDs acting as a substitute of some sort. When in fact it is the opposite and these prejudices rather expose the core issue of narrow-mindedness of the observers.

As for why the gothic stereotype didn't come up, maybe it is because in Sweden collecting BJDs is not so common, we seem to drag behind in numbers compared to countries like the US. Because overall, questioning maturity (or lack there of) seems to be the key issue judging from the responses gathered, not so much any subculture label automatically being assumed about a BJD owner.

So I'm a bit ambivalent to the above stereotypes that did come up. Personally I might actually prefer being assumed a goth, than the weirdo immature person with supposedly no life but a large barbie doll. It'd be more like "Oh, so you're into that subculture" instead of "wtf, why are you still playing with dolls and not out getting drunk like normal people? You are so weird and must have no friends!" But it all depends on what people think is defines "goth" too, of course... as it could be more of a "Ick, so you must be obsessed with black, death, and creepy musicians who obsess about death and the colour black" etc


The gothic/lolita stereotype might be more common in Europe than Scandinavia though (and not just because of the smaller number of BJD collectors)? It at least seems to be more common in the US, judging by the responses to this post.

 

In the UK even the BJD collectors see them as "anime" they are kind of linked, you tend to like anime if you like BJDs. But i think the world of anime opens us up more to Japanese and other Asian culture, and then we leant about the dolls.

 

I haven't really noticed the gothic stigma since I joined the hobby. Still, I would have to agree that it's stupidly far from the truth. There is very little gothy about it, only that some of our doll characters are goths. I personally am way more the fashion conscious average teenage girl. I'm into anime and cosplaying, but you would never guess it XD. I think it's great that all different types of people are into BJDs, that's what makes our community so diverse and awesome!

As for the creepy-ness of dolls, I blame horror movies entirely. It seems that whenever I say the word 'doll' someone always mentions Chucky. It's awful that people can be influenced against something so beautiful by just one little thing, which, for the record, couldn't be further from dollfies if it tried.

To be honest, I really don't believe that a few comments could drive me away from a hobby that I love so much, and am willing to spend pretty massive amounts of money on. If that kind of thing bothers you, it's probably best to keep any mention of dolls strictly to the internet.

 

It is a subconscious things actually that we don't like seeing things that look like us, which is why they horror films are made. Dolls are pretty creepy, and i think people have every right to say so. But many people don't see you bad because of it, they just personal think so. It is when they are mean to you about it, is when they are just be jerks. But you are right, if comments bother you, just don't bother saying to people who you think would react that way.

 

Well, my husband is consistently creeped out by my doll, so. I haven't actually spoken to anybody who fits the doll stereotype, but I have seen them at conventions, and yeah, outside of the convention environment? Those people would be pretty weird, I guess. Let me sit here at my little table with my countless dolls and be overweight while wearing cat ears and drawing yaoi in public. Neat.

I do what I like, though. I'm secure enough in who I am to say "I like dolls". BJDs aren't the only ones I like, either. People will pick up on your confidence.

 

I don't mind the being seen as eccentric, because I am, and happily so. I do, however, find myself offended by an implication that my being into dolls - and toys/games in general - is my way of compensating for not having children. As a married woman of a childbearing age who never wanted to be a parent I do feel somewhat stigmatized as a selfish and immature, although I truly believe that not having kids just because you can is one of the most unselfish and mature decisions one can make.

 

I'm childfree and my mom briefly teased me about my MNF...... calling it "my kid" and saying I wanted a baby.... UNTIL SHE SAW MY DOLL.

LOL, I think she was imagining a baby/child-like porcelain doll type thing. She saw Erzsi's giant boobs and was all... "Oh."
Then she said, "Awww, she's really pretty!" and said she was silly for even briefly THINKING it would be a "kid" doll, since she knows I don't find kids cute or appealing at all. I LOVE MY MOM.

 

I totally agree.
And it annoys me that the stereotype still exists. As a mom of a teenage son I recently got a 'little advice' ~" don't carry those dolls around or people will associate you with being 'goth'. " Heehee! I'm sorry, but I can't recall ANY occasion where I saw ANY goth-dressed person carrying around a doll...much less a BJD. Besides, my dolls are MY dolls ~ MY vision and artistic expression of how I want them to be.
It's kind of silly to pigeon-hole collectors of BJDs as a whole. There's all kinds of ways to portray them and all kinds of collectors.

But, still folks who don't collect dolls are quick to find fault and some kind of moral or mental flaw. If you ask me, it is more of a revelation of THEIR mental state and maturity.

 

I think doll collecting has always had a certain stigma attached to it and it doesn't pertain to just bjd. One has to remember that the "labels" some give to us doll collectors reflect more on and give insight to the person doing the labeling than it does to us.

Doll collecting has been around for ages and ages - throughout history, if you will. "Goth", or any other category, description, or genre, is just another style. You know, different strikes for different folks...

If you're happy and comfortable with your hobby, don't worry about what others think. You're in it for yourself, not to please someone else. If they continue to be rude or hurtful with their comments, maybe it's time to rethink the friendship. Just think of the other people as "unenlightened" and move on.

 

I am not a goth I am a 53 year old mom and most of my dolls are either elven or just people although I do have a robot and her steampunk owner! I don't take my dolls out and most of my friends are awed by the dolls but my 22 year old daughter is freaked out by them! go figure.

Be yourselves and who cares what others think of you. If you are happy then BJD to your hearts content.

 

I was at a family gathering last night where the majority of people commented that my doll was creepy and/or weird. Whatevs, I her!

 

I've noticed that the stereotype is hardcore anime fans or the "japan obsessed" person. I don't really fight the stereotype, because I don't have to. Everyone who knows me knows that I can't stand Anime and Japanese culture hold no interest for me. When it comes to random people finding out that I'm into BJD's if the make that connection, I laugh.

It's like any social group or hobby... there stereotypes might hold some grain of truth, but it's often horribly exaggerated.

 

Well, I tend to fit the 'stereotype'. I'm considered a Goth, I watch anime and like japanese culture. I also cosplay (but not always anime characters, mostly historical/fantasy).
I don't care. It's who I am and how I enjoy my life. All these things are in moderate amount, but yeah, things that are considered stereotypical doll collectors are evident in my world.

 

Okay... I have been dressing in black since I was 11 (I'm 30 now) I run d&d, have a burning man club, 2nd degree bb in shao-Lin (Chinese), in to anime (Japanese) & identify furry (cat) I am also a 30 year old mom of 2... Own my own home... Drive a mini van and have many friends from all walks of life. I am always into a project... Dreaming of something... Being active... Creating! We may think of ourselves as normal or anything but... We are connected by ONE thing.. Not by all... That thing is BJDs. I feel like if anyone labled us it would be under influence of Asian culture... There are always going to be sterotypes and usually most people age beyond caring... But understand I dress in black clothing and wear eyeliner and am NOT part of the goth culture, hate horror movies, don't club, drink blood, smoke cloves... At my heart I am a gamer who looks goth... And you are whoever you are and collect dolls... That's alright!

 

My mom still doesn't understand my fascination with ABJDs. I'm old enough to be married and have kids of my own, but I've never liked babies or children (I don't mind well-behaved children, but I don't want any of my own). However, if I share my hobby with my mom, she just sort of goes "oh, that's nice.". I think deep down she thinks they are children substitutes for me, which is so far from the truth.
However, I feel the same about my mother's job... she's a birthing coach who also runs a mom and baby center LOL

I do, however, fit into the "goth introvert" category. I have plenty of friends, but I prefer being alone most of the time. I think this is mostly due to trying to save money, and going out anywhere costs gas and usually food.
I'm also not someone who likes to drink, which confuses most people I know, and I don't like large crowds because I like to actually talk to people without having to shout.

My closest friends (for the most part) really like my dolls, but aren't the type to really ask about what they are so I don't bore them with details. I also leave them "on the shelf" so to say, when they come to visit.
I do have a couple friends who constantly get on my case for having them... it's always "Sell a doll and go on vacation!" and "Buy any more creepy dolls lately?" I mostly just ignore it.

All in all, though, I don't like being grouped into ANY category. I like being an individual. If someone who chooses not to understand the hobbies of another individual or group, then that's their loss. If they disrespect me for it, then I pity them for being so closed minded, but I'm not going to get into an argument with someone for being ignorant because that's like trying to empty the oceans.

 

wow ._. first thing i thought was.. man, i´m not even close to that stereotype. second thing was : oh really ? I always thought people who are collecting dolls are cute and friendly x) No joke. I don´t think there is a stereotype.. i was looking over some posts and with some i agree with some i don´t. But to be honest I´m pretty normal, i guess ^^" Sorry. And i don´t think that collecting dolls is creepy or weird at all.. my granny does and she isn´t ! x) xx3 I think those dolls are cute ^^" I´m also not a goth or gothic lolita. I don´t have pink curtains nor black walls.. so am i not the stereotype?
i´m Austrian, so maybe no xD
The only thing i can say many people do have in common here is that :
they have a lot of fantasy.
know how to use it.
are creativ.
are friendly.
like japanese stuff.
like cute / dark things.
like games (at least rpg)

 

I'm not trying to sound like a jerk, but if you're not Goth why do you call yourself 'gothspider'?

 

I'm a bit of a goth and a bit of a gothic lolita myself, so I suppose I fit into that stereotype. But I don't just like them because they can be creepy. I like the juxtaposition of creepy and pretty. I can't explain why, I just adore that sort of thing. I suppose that's why I'm a wayward victorian girl.

 

Well like the title of this thread says, I'm totally fighting the stereotype of all BJD owners are women :P. But i find it funny that most people are shocked or can't understand why most BJD owners like Japanese culture. I mean I know there's other way of finding out about BJDs, but they are also a big part of Japanese (and Asian)culture. So if you're into that type of stuff it'd make sense for you to find out about them right?

But on a side note, whether someone is 'part of a stereotype' or 'far from it' I think people still should forget about that stuff that doesn't really matter and just share the enjoyment of the hobby together.