Fighting that Doll stereotype

Umm...Did you even read that? She's saying others are offended by that. That's a fact. Sad, but true. The majority of the world does not approve of homosexual relationships. There's no reason to contact a mod. She simply pointed out other people's opinions and that she personally doesn't care. She's on your side.

 

thanks i hope i clarified that with my response to her post. happy it was understood though by someone atleast.

 

Firstly, I wasn't going to respond to your pm because i did not appreciate you sending me a private message telling me "Um...wow. Way to over-react. "

Secondly, i did actually read the comment, so do not insult my intelligence. I am not going to retract my earlier post, nor will i apologise for it and actually i am curious to know how you know that the majority of the world does not approve of homosexual relationships? And also why should it be accepted as being sad and true? Oh and by the way a homosexual relationship is a relationship, there is no difference. Love is love and all love is equal. Also i don't appreciate you telling me not to contact a mod, i have contacted mod because statements can not be made and then justified as having another intent or meaning. "Gay bashing" is flaming and no amount of justification can make the statement acceptable.

 

McKitty, I am stepping in a moment as moderator to ask you to relax.

I have reviewed the statements in question and I do not feel that they are gay bashing. She is stating that stereotyping is a negative behavior... and there is no denying that stereotyping is bad. Even if it's labeling someone in a "positive" way! (i.e. "You're Asian so you must be good at math!") Labeling someone with a sexual preference based on something as superficial as doll ownership is ignorant. Often, the people applying the stereotypes are doing it to be hurtful because THEY feel that being gay is a negative. Commenting on the fact that people do this is not gay bashing in itself; the people who are actually applying the stereotype are doing it. Calling someone "gay" because you think it will hurt them is wrong.

This thread is not about gay bashing or types of love being equal - we all know that love is love. Can we get back to the main topic and off of this tangent?

 

I have been the subject of stereotyping over the course of my life, and I don't really think there are many stereotypes here with dolls. I will say that there are many cliche things with dolls. You can like them, but at this time they're just cliche in my eyes.

 

If it was accepted, wouldn't it be legal? It's not in most places. And sad but true because I think it should be accepted. I agree that love is love. I was saying contacting a mod was pointless as there was no gay bashing. She's just saying some people are uncomfortable being called gay or lesbian. She never said she had an issue with homosexuals. I'm aware I was rather harsh but I felt you were accusing her of something she hadn't done. Loving the partial quotes here and the assumption that I must be straight. I am, but I found it funny you automatically assumed. This would be an amusing conversation if I wasn't, don't you think? Anway, I apologise for being a prick. Just felt you were being unfair.

Edit: armeleia - Sorry, I hadn't seen your post.
Nollyn - Wow. I just re-read my post and I sounded terrible. I shouldn't be online when I'm upset. Sorry about that.

 

meh show it off like your art. i don't you get upset that someone insulted your art. even though it's a doll it's still art. not everyone is gonna like. taste is taste. " i don't know art but i know what i like"

don't think anyone here is really meaning to be harsh to you, but like sterotypes in different ways are a sensitive issue for many in different ways. depends on the sterotype and who's calling it. and i'm betting you art is also an extension of your personality, you just can't hug and sheet of paper the same way huh?

but also forget the movies and such. just look up dolly phobia and that will explain it all. on why dolls are freaky to most. i have a favorite ex boyfriend who is now my bestest freind ever and he's uttertly terrorfied of dolls. and not from movies. he loves chucky and chucky dolls. he feels having a little person around is creepy and one that's life like is worse cause he feels it's alive, when he knows it's not. bjd so much worse cause it can move and pose like a person.

your right it's not gothic to own a doll. but to others it's got a gothic feel cause to most they have that mind set of creepy for all those reasons we like them. creepy to people means gothic. even if every goth in their area is super nice.

and i'm sure looking around the boards you'll see a doll or two that gives you the heeby jeebies. cause all tastes are different.

 

I see this stereotype quite a bit, too. I find it especially amusing considering the number of doll meet-ups and conventions that are held. Seems pretty social for a bunch of "shut-ins."

In my opinion, the best way to deal with stereotypes is to ignore them. Not to say that if someone comes up to me and directly says something stereotypical I won't disagree politely, but in general there's not a whole lot someone can do to fight an over-generalization. The most we can do (typically, not to say there aren't exceptions) is to hope that by politely informing them of the falsehoods in their accusation that they will realize their mistake. After all, some people don't really think much about it when they use a stereotype, and don't mean for their statements to be offensive. However, there will always be the people that use stereotypes to hurt others, and they are often so close-minded that they will refuse to change their beliefs even when confronted with something that obviously contradicts them.

 

Stereotyping is everywhere, so you can't get away from it. You just have to ignore the labels others give you and your hobby, and remember that people in any hobby or interest will come from all walks of life. People see what they want to see. If they think "dolls are creepy and so are their owners", then that's what they think. So really, worrying about what other people think just gives you some unnecessary stress.

I haven't seen the gothic stereotype, more of the "crazy anime fangirl" and "creepy old cat lady" stereotypes Even though I've seen examples of both, neither describe this community! However small and niched it may be, there's a whole spectrum of people interested in BJDs. Because it's small and niched, though, is why you probably see similar interests such as lolita and anime floating around. If BJDs were more popular, then I'm sure then the different types of people in the community would be massive. It would become more of a "I saw Julie's doll, and thought it was awesome, so I got one!" kind of thing, because it wouldn't be so obscure. But BJDs aren't that popular (yet?) so even discovering the existence of them is a bit of a challange. Most of the people I see on here found out about BJDs because of the internet. So if you consider the people who would be browsing the sites you would even find a BJD on, I guess you can see where some of the stereotypes come from.

And I think the "creepy" stigma comes from movies like Chucky and even a lot of scary stories people will tell (I heard a lot of doll ones when I was little, anyway) Even if people didn't associate dolls with possessed objects that will come and knife you in the middle of the night, being wary or frightful of something that looks so really but is inanimate is understandable. BJDs are actually the first dolls I'm not afraid of, and to this day, I still have a paralyzing fear of wax museums. ^^;

 

I think I've been converted in away.

I used to hate dolls with a passion. I had never seen any doll movies that scared me and yet I feared dolls more then anything. I guess it didn't help my family played jokes on me and nearly made me pass out when I thought a doll was talking to me.

But I did not like them at all. I saw the BJD's and I got curiouse. They looked pretty neat. Not creepy. Since I got one I now fully understand people who have china dolls or any dolls that use to scare me. So I'm not scared of them anymore.

-As for dolls being a gothic thing. I don't think they are limited to the goth community, well I mean obviousely there not. People say I'm gothic ¬_¬ but I didn't get one because of that and I don't dress my doll gothic either.

I don't know it seems less people on here are gothic in my opion. Not that it matters. I don't think a sub-culture can own something like dolls.

 

I'm still freaked out by that doll that my step-grandpa had. It just sits on that chair, staring at me. << I was convinced when I was little that it was one night going to just walk off its chair. And the idea of that doll moving on its own scared me more than anything else.

I still can't be around that thing alone at night. ._.

 

I started a thread not too long ago on a very similar subject but it was closed... because it was apparently off topic.

Anyways I personally feel very much out of place in the BJD community... it seems that the largest population of the BJD fandom... is well a "fandom". This is something that I kind of have a hard time with and I can find very few people to relate to.

 

If it helps any, I feel very much the same way, too; for me, it seems I have little to nothing in common with most of the people in the community. This of course can make it incredibly frustrating trying to connect with others and I find that I have difficulty understanding some things from my perspective. But 's not all bad; as I stated before, you should be here for your own reasons, and that I am.

 

I have felt the same way, although I don't like to say negative things about the "community" on this board because in trying to discuss it in the past, I've found that it generally triggers a lot of posts refuting the notion from people whose experience of "community" has been very positive. Also, it can be hard to express the fact that someone might feel personally alienated from much of the community while still taking advantage of good things it has to offer, such as information and help.

I primarily use this board and a few others to get information and transact, but due to differences in age, career, interests (both doll and non-doll related), and approach to the doll hobby, I often don't have a lot in common with what seems to be the "majority" either. Many of the interests and concerns that other people have, such as doll conventions, anime, creating "characters" and story arcs, reselling their dolls for the price they paid or more, and reconciling their family members with their dolls simply do not come into play for me.

However, I'm past the point of this bothering me, as the hobby for me is really about "me and my dolls," not "me and my dolls and a community of other people." I hope others who are bothered by the same can themselves reach a happy medium and just enjoy their dolls.

 

Haha, the funny thing is that, to many people's eyes, I AM goth. As in the Western style (I could never pull off lolita). I once had a little kid in the park point at me and go "Mummy, look, it's a goth!". Funnily enough, it's my MOTHER who wants my incoming doll to be gothy.
As soon as Gwaewen arrives, I am SO taking her for a walk in my goth gear. This stereotype sounds great fun to perpetuate!

(Incidentally, I'm also shut-in, with no social life. Wow. I'm just one big stereotype.)

 

Just watched the Kerli video and all that bothers me is that the editor couldn't sync the vocals to her lip syncing even slightly. She looks like she's chewing gum instead. Either bad editing or not enough practice lip syncing.

I think the creepiness factor has more to do with the aforementioned uncanny valley then movies though. It's a little person-looking object, but it doesn't move. That what bothers me the most about things that look human, the fact that they don't move rather than the fanciful idea of them coming to life. It's like the wax-people or the robots with human faces. They look real-in photos where you don't expect them to move, they look even natural-but they don't move, or they move oddly.
The fanciful idea of a doll coming to life is almost less creepy to me then it sitting still. And I have yet to see a doll who has a reason to harm their current owner.
Then there's also the only dolls that bother me seriously. The "cute crying kid in the corner" dolls that have no face! Apparently my sentiments are shared with my younger relatives and such too..

EDIT: Took out my last paragraph. Felt I was going off topic.

 

I don't want to revive any part of the "That was homophobic/no it wasn't" fight from the previous page, but I'm trying...so hard...to wrap my mind around a person being called "lesbian" because she has dolls . Was there a memo I missed, because last I heard we were still ugly, power-tool-slinging manhaters, unless we're evil vampiric seductresses, of course. Definitely nothing about liking dolls being a sign of queerness (weirdness, maybe). If BJDs have suddenly become part of the lesbian "lifestyle", I want at least a $25 rebate from HRC for my first doll! Of course, he was a boy, and I suppose lesbians are only supposed to want girl dolls to inflict our unnatural desires upon. Dang! I'd better get my hands on an authorized Lesbian Ball Joint Doll quick, and start going to all those lesbian doll meetups that have been filling up the calendar in the local GLBT newspaper, where we can sit in a circle and process our first-doll-ordering experiences or discuss whether modding liberates our dolls from cultural expectations or is a nonconsentual expression of "power over". A Soom girl should be lesbian enough, don't you think, or does a Dollmore Model Doll have superior dyke appeal? Can't wait to pick up a couple of Lesbian Haircut #3 and #9 wigs for her, and a teeny-tiny rainbow-ring necklace. So glad there are so many places that sell appropriate clothes for ball-jointed soft butches!

Okay, I'm done now, thanks.

 

ROTFL LMAO That was so hilarious, thank-you so much for posting this, it has totally made my day.

 

Bugger. I don't think you can fight it really unless they put an article in the National Inquirerer. >.>;

This is one of the gems of the hobby- the fact that So many different people can come together with their ideas and creative dollies. =D
Labels are for organizing objects, not people.

And thats my 2 cents, until I find out how to put my thoughts into an interesting post.