Fighting that Doll stereotype

actually the person called me that for having boys. i pretty much only have boy dolls. one girl but she is tiny. so to them boy or girl doll don't matter. *shrugs* people are crazy. cause same person said i was for liking yaoi too. once they found out about that. it was more proof. cause liking guys is so proof you're really into girls.

if that just helps confuse you even more.

 

Well...I've always been considered "goth," but my friends don't see me that way. Anyone who knows me personally knows I shouldn't be stereotyped that way.

So...people seeing me with a BJD...it just seems to go w/ "my looks" I suppose.


It's sad that dolls have seemed to get that negative, creepy stereotype...they obviously aren't for a number of us. I bet there are only a few people out there that are actually afraid of the dolls themselves, almost every case I've seen it's just been the people giving into soceity's obnoxious ways. >>;;

 

Stereotypes are ever-present, but that doesnt mean they can't evolve or be altered over time...

Back in the 80's and early 90's, John & Jane Public just *knew* that all tabletop RPG players were either psychotic, unsocialized nerds or suicidal Satanists, thanks to Jack Chick, MADD and a movie called Mazes and Monsters. Those of us who gamed actively either had to avoid ever mentioning our hobby in mixed company, or we had to be ready to fend off all sorts of pointed questions and uncomfortable assumptions when people found out what we did in our spare time.

It wasn't fun trying to convince friends and co-workers that, no, you were not in fact a devil-worshipper just because you liked to sit around with your friends throwing funny-looking dice and pretending to be an elf... But some of us did it anyway. Because we knew we weren't the stereotype and hated being labled something we weren't.

Funny thing... These days, if you mention being a tabletop gamer about the worst you'll get called is a geek. (Which, in fairness, a lot of us are-) At some point in the last twenty years, our culture has changed a bit and enough gamers seem to have passed society's "normalcy check" to remove the hobby from the "Social Threat" list.

I think it's entirely possible that views on a person's participation in this hobby could eventually be altered in a similar fashion. If enough of us that *aren't* anti-social shut-ins, Crazy Doll Ladies, Yaoi or JRock-obsessed otaku, Lolitas or Goths are open about who we are and what we do, eventually John & Jane Public might start to see the whole business as a little less freaky and bizarre. After all, if someone as "normal" and mundane-seeming as me (I'm a 38 year-old professional; a white-bread suburban yuppie.) has the things, how "out there" can they possibly be?

That's not to say that there's anything fundamentally wrong with being a Goth or a Lolita or a Yaoi fan... It's just that any of those things can scare the muggles, who don't get where you're coming from. That's where us middle-aged soccer-mom types can really help with altering public perception. Like nerdy-but-otherwise-harmless gamers, we're "normal" enough not to spook the herd.

 

Bottom line for me...I just don't care what people think of me...even when I was younger, I didn't care....

I agree there are some 'weird' or 'immature' doll collectors out there, but I have found some wonderful friends through these dolls.

Like everything else, you just have to find 'your normal'....again, I don't care what people think of me....and the good people surface above the crap anyway.
Madison

 

...by the way, I just love the goth and lolita look...if I was 18 again, I would love to dress that way....lol.

 

It's a different story for me. People around me think it's childish of me to like stuffed animals and dolls (BJDs to be specific, I'm never fond of some creepy looking dolls). So they assume that only young immature people are fascinated by dolls and actually spend money on things like that. That's totally just a stereotype. I don't think liking cute stuff or prefering toys to fashion means that you're immature. It's all about preference and personality.

Then my roommate asked me why I only looked at male dolls instead of female ones. I was bewildered for a moment.

"I guess it's because I'm a girl. So I'm more interested in the opposite gender, even that's a doll." XD

It made sense to me but not to my friend. She supposed that girls ought to prefer female dolls.

Personally, I think this stereotype somewhat reflects a fact that there are certain types of people who are interested in BJDs. But it doesn't neccessarily apply for all of BJDs lovers and collectors. Whatever it is, it never bothers me much. I wouldn't give a fuss for people who judge me on a doll.

 

Some people are creeped out by dolls. Any dolls. Most folks don't mind dolls that fit into the traditional categories (cuddly rag dolls, fashion dolls, porcelain dolls, etc.) but BJDs and other Asian dolls don't fit those categories as well.

You also have to take into account the "uncanny valley" effect, a term used in robotics that defines the sudden negative reaction where appealing human-like characteristics become too human for comfort. A lot of people find BJDs creepy because they look too realistic, particularly the eyes. This causes a feeling of wrongness that generates a strong subliminal negative reaction. So when certain people are "creeped out" by BJDs, this is usually the reason even if they've never heard the term "uncanny valley" in their lives.

Not everyone has this reaction. Basically, the more open-minded and accepting you are, the less bothered you will be. For some people the "uncanny valley" doesn't exist at all. For others, anything more realistic than Raggedy Ann will induce cold sweats and cringes.

As for the negative stereotypes, all dolls have this problem. If you look at dolls in movies before BJDs were ever even thought of--hell, before the first Dollfie was made by Volks--you'll see that dolls have always suffered from more bad press than good. Films like Magic, Dolls, Barbarella and even Tourist Trap bear this out. And what about "Talky Tina" from The Twilight Zone?

In the end, you just have to grin and bear it, try not to take offense if someone has a less than positive reaction, and hope you can break down some of these negative stereotypes.

Oh, and I love Kerli's "Walking On Air". Just sayin.

 

All of this could be said about Dungeons and Dragons players.
Fighting the whole "playing with some nerds in someone's mother's basement eating sugary drinks and Cheetos" stigma is really hard. Okay, so I play with nerds, we drink mountain dew, it was in the dorm basement and there were chips. But a "dark and nerdy" game does not make for a dark and nerdy person. It's the same as dolls, thought I've had elss trouble with dolls. I should take one of my kids to the local gaming store and see the two stigmas collide. XD

There was some dude in a used books store who was really interested in Shasta once. He was really nice and didn't think it was creepy at all, even though Shas looked really girly then. He thought they were artistic and stuff. Oh man, it was great. So there are a few enlightened people in the world.

 

i don't really care what someone else says concerning dollfies... cause if you ask them why they think it's stupid or whatever they can never think of anything good to make their argument legit. and why would you care why someone stereotypes you for owning one? are you ashamed that people know that you do? when i get mine i'm gonna whore that sh!t like there's no tomorrow =P lol and how could you NOT want a dollfie? they look so awesome~

 

I do like the gothic dolls, but the only reason I'd dress them in all black would be because I could never see myself going out in public dressed like that. It'd be using the doll as an alter ego.

 

I've actually met tons of people in this hobby who seem to chunk us all under the stereotypes of "We're all the world's biggest nerds here, and we all love anime, and we're all shut-ins."
THAT is what gets to me, and not just because I'm not a shut in anime-loving nerd. I don't watch cartoons, and I have a life outside of my computer and dolls and school.
I don't really care what people outside the hobby think, because I don't tell them about it. IMPO, hobbies should stay in the home or between other hobbiests, because the real world outside is a place to concentrate on making a living (not finding an escape LOL).
But when I get together with people inside this hobby, and they're dead-set on thinking everyone here falls under a certain type, that bugs me -- mostly because if everyone of a type starts to do something, it sort of classifies as a fad, doesn't it? And me buying dolls is not part of keeping up with a fad.
To keep OT, though, just ignore it. If people inside the hobby are starting to bring you in under their own classifications, disassociate yourself from them.

 

^__^; My, this is really something. But here is a little bit of advise for you. No matter where you are, what you do, how smart or how outgoing you are, you will always be stereotyped. It does matter if its because of gender, sexual pref, hairstyle, looks, race, presentation, religion, ect. You will always be attached to something. The big thing is just not to let it bother you. Out of every 10 good experiences a person has in their life and forgets, there is one bad experience that they will remember forever. All you can do is be your best and not let something so trivial bother you.

People forming malicious acts against others because they are "freaky doll people," now that I could say needs some help, but that's not the case here. This is solely discussing stereotyping. I'll tell you from experience though, the best way to fight a stereotype is to take away the person's thrill of using it as a weapon. If it doesn't bother you, there is no joy in doing it. You can't force someone to change their opinion, but you can leave them baffled by your completely misleading orientation of a doll owner.

 

I full heartedly agree :]

 

Some people call everything that's a little bit different from the mainstream Gothic.
They don't even know what the meaning of 'gothic' is most of the time.
ABJD aren't regular or sold in local toystores, so it must be goth.

I happen to like gothic-styles.
And I see a lot of different other styles within this community. I like the diversity of it.

 

I've always looked at dumb stereotypes as a convenient litmus test. If a person is small-minded and shallow enough to be affected by that sort of thing, I am probably better off now knowing them anyway I only have so much time and patience, and I'd prefer not to waste any of them on those people who wear their posteriors as headgear, kthxby.

Best way to fight the doll stereotype? Don't let yourself be pressured into conforming to it: be a positive advocate for the community. Learn to communicate articulately what excites you about bjd and share it with others, and don't assume hostility where there may not be any. Don't attack 'n00bs' (even though doing so may make you feel important and powerful; even though it may have been done to you when you were starting out) because that sort of behavior only lends to the perception of bjd enthusiasts as an insular clique of socially maladjusted outcasts.
...and look on the bright side, things could be worse: you could be a 'jock'

If I ever get a farm or a cottage located in suitable terrain, I totally want to call it 'Uncanny Valley'

 

He he... I was thinking the same thing! I think I'm gonna name a place in the Wonderland Story I'm writing that, actually

I kind of feel like not caring about people's perception's is also a thing you grow into... I know my attitude has gotten much bolder with practice

 

I'm an aging hippy of 61, so I'm too old to be either a Lolita or Goth, altho' I do love the clothes. I'm into literature, steampunk, bassoon playing and BJDs. However, since I'm 5'10" and outspoken, who's going to call me weird or creepy? The older I get the more I think one should be warm, welcoming and friendly to other folks, yet at the same time, as long as you're not hurting anyone, don't give a fig for what people think of you or your pastimes. As my gran used to say "they're not paying the rent". Enjoy your dolls and have fun. I've found that then people like and accept you for who you are then.

Clare

 

You're never too old! Hell, at our age, we can blame any sartorial excess on those 'red hat society' ladies Anyone asks me about the way I dress, I tell them 'Ever since my dad died, I've come to the conclusion that life is too short to spend time wearing clothes that are ugly or uncomfortable'.

Which reminds me...I need to do a load of fine washables this weekend. All black, but of course

OT, but 'wot the hell'. I guess to shove it back on: 'mature' enthusiasts (age only being one factor in that 'maturity' equation) have a big role to play in breaking any stereotype that surrounds the hobby...like what Rosa Parks did for the civil rights movement.

 

I agree with you there--also learning to pick battles. Which stereotypes are just annoying and which ones are actually damaging? Is the person making the stereotype doing so with the intent to be rude, or do they just not know any better and want more information?

The stereotypes I've seen the most with bjds is connecting them to anime (and considering the style of some headsculpts out there it isn't really surprising) or lumping them in with fashion dolls. Neither of which is harmful. The only time I had a person think they were goth dolls was at a meetup at a doll convention (for dolls in general, not just bjds). A woman came up asking about the goth dolls--several of us did have dolls in gothy outfits, so the confusion was understandable--because she thought her daughter would really like them. I can't see any reason to get upset at a person like that who obviously meant no insult.

If I get anymore dolls my apartment is going to be so filled with uncannyness that I may need to move to a valley

 

Well, stereotypes are very easily formed, and people sometimes use it without thought. You did it yourself; 'gothic' is more than black and chains or lace, it's extrememly versitile, and people who dress in certain ways may not even associate with it- don't worry, I won't start ranting ^^

Dolls, to most people, come in three types: plastic for little girls, those big clunky porcelain things for old ladies, and both for crazy collectors. And when you have one stereotype, it's easy to lump it with another, so that everyone not in the mold can be collectively "freaks" instead of lots of different individuals. And since goth is one of the biggest, most enduring styles, it's also everything else.

Though to be honest, the first reason I think of is most dolls clothes are gothic, and since being able to dress your doll in interesting garb you'd (well, most people) would never wear personally is pretty fun. But then gothic dolls somehow = gothic people, because most little girls grow up apparently wanting to look like they're Bratz and Barbies, who all wear stupid, technicolour, but generally mainstream clothes.

If the majority of dolls were dressed in suits and ballgowns, we'd all suddenly be millionaires and rich kids, if they wore Medieval garb, we'd all be role play and D 'n' D nuts.