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Fighting that Doll stereotype

Aug 20, 2008

    1. You have to admit, as unfavorable as some stereotypes may be, there is always some truth to it. And yes, it does suck being lumped together in it when you don't identify yourself a certain way - i.e., to use the term in the first post, "gothic" - but honestly, I don't know why people let it bother them so much.

      I mean, I am not gothic by ANY means. Sure, I listen to jrock and I enjoy emo/screamo music just as much as the next kid in skinny black jeans and bangs in their eyes. I am into BJDs, I like writing fanfiction, and I still squeal and fangirl over actors/singers/bands. I have multiple piercings and gauge my ears. I have two tattoos, although they are easily hidden.

      But - and here's the kicker - despite my interests, I am a high school German TEACHER! A no-nonsense-takin', school-learnin', khaki-pants-wearin' TEACHER.

      I have so many different hobbies and things that I am into, that I never really let it bother me what anyone else thinks. My students think it's almost hilarious that IN school I look like I've just stepped out of a CJ Banks catalog, but out of school I do things like attend live rock shows and get the crap nearly kicked out of me by other fans who are trying to detach me from my prime front-and-center-stage spot. But looking at me in my "regular" setting at work, you would have no idea that I was into anything of that nature.

      I do think you have a valid point, though. Stereotypes ARE frustrating. And, to throw my two cents in, I think there are definitely people who have gotten into this hobby merely for the shock value and to bring even more attention to themselves because they like being "that weird person who carries around a doll."

      But honestly, at the end of the day I just have to ask myself, who cares if people think doll owners are shut-ins and creepy and whatever else? Maybe there are some of us like that, but for the majority or even for yourself, even for MYself, the stereotype does not apply. And what matters is that YOU know it, YOU know the truth of who you are, so never mind what anyone else outside of the hobby says.
       
    2. I like the fact that this hobby attracts all sorts of people. I am a middle-aged grandmother and would most likely never have had the occasion to meet such interesting people living alternate lifestyles besides my own, without our common interest in dolls. As for people who don't collect dolls stereotyping me (crazy old doll lady?), I don't care about their opinions. I would say that I have more in common with tattooed, pierced, goth, doll people than I do "red hat ladies", but that is a stereotype too. Everyone is an individual, regardless of what they wear and how they appear to other people.
       
    3. First I like to say that I am gothic this is a livestyle where I feel good about.
      It fits me and I feel good in gothic clothes, I love the music and the style.
      first time I heard about ABJD was in a anime magazine.
      there was a big page filled with ABJD information, it did not had anything to do with rozen maiden tough.

      I actually don't think that there is a steriotype doll owners.
      at the meetings I have been to where much less goth's as normal dressed people.
      I like the diffrent kind of doll owners, the thing whe have in commen is our love for dolls, that's all.

      the fackt that I am Goth and own dolls has nothing to do with each other.
      I own 4 doll's, and only one of them is Goth.
      but I do think that goth's and lolita's are verry open to new things.
      dolls for example..

      Another thing that bugs me is that Nollyn (in the first post) thinks that being Gothic or Childlike is a mental issue.
      That is such a weird thing to say, for me Gothic is a choice, it has absolutely nothing to do with my mental condition.
      I think Gothic is misunderstood a lot of times.
       
    4. The doll horror aspect has been around a long time. Maybe the newer stereotypes are being built by those for whom bjds are an affectation. Such are likely to leave the hobby for something new after contributing to the negative image of bjd owners(although everyone's idea of what is negative may differ).
      There are absolutes hordes of fans who are not gothic nor trying to signal how trendy they are by owning a bjd. Nor do they wish people to think they are mentally unbalanced. You aren't alone, whatever your tastes and lifestyle, as far as finding like-minded people in the doll fandom.
      You can't worry about the opinions of everyone-people who get to know you will realize you are not a "stereotypical" bjd fan.
      I get heart shaped eyes when I see a well-done gothic Lolita doll,I have some gothic apparel for my dolls. and I just don't worry that people will think I am goth.
      The bjds will eventually become a tired gimmick in music videos like every other device, I imagine.
      I don't know-are enough people even paying attention to bjds in media to form opinions about doll owners? If you are in the hobby you are very aware of such things I know, but others have their own interests.
      Casual observation does suggest that adult collectors of any types of dolls encounter the perception of being odd for still *playing* with dolls.
       
    5. I guess I'm use to the steriotype crap...being Pagan we are supposedly all gothic or something like that. I am far from it.

      I am a IT person which is another stereotype that we are anti social and love to show how smart we are.

      Mostly when people see my doll collection which includes more then just bjds they look at me strangly because I seem "mature" and why would I like dolls? It's for small children and then I explain that it's my hobby.

      I just do what I like and don't care what others think. I did when I was young and I wont let it happen again.
       
    6. For me, I suppose when i tell people about my dolls... they are really suprised because they say i dont "seem" to be "one of those people". But honestly I dont think much of it. I respect everyones doll, no matter what you are, male/female, black, white, yellow, blue!, "gothic", "prep" in the end, we are all human. And that is all. <3
       
    7. Maddiegirl - I really like what you said there about finding "your normal". :)

      PakouChan - I have some friends who might make you rethink that "all human" point of view...Just kidding! I agree with what you said though.

      Edit: Also, I'd like to apologise to everyone on this thread about that argument a few pages back. So, I'm sorry. :(
       
    8. i'm probably too old and brightly-colored to be in danger of being stereotyped as a goth (not to say there is an age-limit on goth, but the people who use it as a stereotype probably also consider it a teenage thing, and i'm 33) but i do feel like i have to fight off a little of that "crazy spinster lady" stigma when i tell strangers that i collect dolls. for some reason, most people seem to accept it more once i explain that i sew for them (and especially if i explain that i sometimes sell the clothes i make) -- maybe because then they can see it as more of a creative/craft type hobby, rather than just collecting.
       
    9. Yep. I've noticed the same effect. They tend to look at me with that slightly-disapproving raised eyebrow right up until I mention that the crew are mostly around to act as my photography models. Since pretty much everyone who knows me even casually is used to seeing me tinker around with my cameras, and probably because photography is an "approved" "adult" hobby, it sort of makes the whole doll-thing click for them... It's almost as if a little lightbulb goes on over their heads and they nod and they finally "get it". :lol:
       
    10. Yeah, I'm not really goth. I did kind of a punk-goth thing for a while in high school when I was trying to figure out who I was and what I was into and I do still like some things about that style and music scene, so on, but most of it was a phase for me. Not to say that it is for everyone, I have some very dear friends who really enjoy that lifesyle and good for them. I grew out of it by the time I hit college, which is where I'm at now.

      I guess I don't really see that stereotype, but already all of my friends who know I'm getting to BJDs think I'm kind of weird. Except a few of the girls who are huge anime/cosplay fans. I think a few of them will be jealous when I get back to school and they see my doll.

      Honestly, though, I don't really let it bother me. It makes me happy and if people want to lump me, they can. I'm kind of weird in general, though, so perhaps I'm use to it. My parents would freak if they knew about the doll, but whatever. My mom was weirded out when she found out I play DnD. I'm in a medieval reenactment group and I go to ren faires. I like anime. I might go to ACen this year. I play more games than just DnD...I adore Vampire the Masquerade and my boyfriend is trying to teach me to play Warhammer 40k. I guess getting weird looks for getting into BJDs will just be another thing to add to the list of why I'm special. ;)
       
    11. I honestly quit caring what people thought about me about half way through high school when I realized it was just unimportant. I mean why should I worry about what others think about what I watch, what I play with, what I dress in? It's pointless and I figured out a long time ago the world doesn't exactly give a crap about me, so why should I care? I shouldn't. I just live life as is. I take my dolls out in a huge range of outfits to a wide range of places. Sure I get looks and I get the comments, but do I care? Heck no. I'm happy taking one of my little one's out with me.

      I mean let's take this example from last November I went through. I went to a furry convention and was told by people in fur suits that cost at least $500 to well over $10k for some that me spending $300 on a doll was crazy. I also been told at anime conventions by con-goers that have a 1000+ anime DVD collection that spending $700 on a doll is crazy. Been told by a friend that buys designer purses at a few hundred a pop and gets her nails done every few weeks that spending money on dolls is a "waste".......uh huh :roll:.

      And slight record for what my other hobbies are...D&D, Final Fantasy, DDR, Anime, general RPGs, cosplay, writing (oh there's another one that got negative sterotypes, but I dunna care), and reading vampire romance novels. Nearly all of those have a bad rap, but I'm still enjoying them.

      What is and isn't "Strange" is in the eye of the beholder. I say have fun and time to stop worrying about what people say about one of your hobbies. After all most of us aren't in high school anymore and we have to stop treating the world like it's one giant high school. The world doesn't care. 97% of the population doesn't care. Most of the people that make comments will forget they even said a word within a matter of days if not hours. Just go about enjoying your dolls and leave it at that.:)
       
    12. I've always been "a little outside the box" I guess, I tend to be a bit strange in my random comments and such. My hair is currently turquoise, before that it was pink and before that it was purple. I have visible tattoos and piercings. Eh.

      But I'm not goth, I do like gothic style jewelry and there are times when I'm wearing articles that might be considered goth or emo, or punk. But then there are some days where I'm wearing stuff that would seem preppy, country or whatever. Then when I'm at work, it's all business and business casual. I just don't concern myself with those types of labels anymore, if I like it and I'm comfortable, then why worry about it.

      People constantly judge me by outward appearances. A lot would assume that I'm your average slacker, probably working at the local target, then get all shocked when they find out I'm a working professional, that works for the gov't to boot. I remember when I bought my last car, you could totally tell the sales people there totally didn't take me seriously. The one guy who did though, walked away with the commission from my sale and a second commission because I ended up referring someone else to him who also bought. (I was like, HA!)

      Dolls have always had that creep out factor thanks to pop-culture and history also, since they've always been a part of ancient rituals and religious icons. There was a time when Victorian porcelain dolls were popular (probably a reason why there's the whole goth-loli/bjd stereotype) and I'm sure people were creeped out then as well.

      She has funky colored hair, she must be goth. She's in IT, she must be anti-social. She's into video games, she must never see sunlight. She likes anime/manga and comics, she must live in her parent's basement. She's into cars, she must be a reckless, racing gearhead. I'm _none_ of these things, yet they're attached to me all the time.

      I'm just me. And I happen to like dolls. If people feel the need to stereotype me to feel better, then so be it. I'm content to just be, no need for me to "fight" anything.
       
    13. I've only dealt with a bit of the stereotyping since I brought Emmlyne home. Some of my family think she looks a bit "alien" without her hair on, but that's about it.

      When I first talked about getting one, my Mum was less then pleased with the idea as she thinks they were "creepy" but having been living with Emmlyne for a few weeks now, she does not seem to feel that way anymore. Some other members of my family seem to think I'm just crazy and nobody has asked how much I spent on Emmlyne or cares to know anything about Hong. :laughs:

      My little four year old brother was on my Mum's kick about scary dolls for a short while, but now he asks me every day when I'm going to get my boy doll because he really wants to see him!

      I've taken Emmlyne out to Goodwill and various places and nobody seems to think she's creepy. Maybe it's just because I live in the Pacific Northwest that I don't really get hit with the sterotyping as much.

      But I do have to say that it certainly is annoying, I don't want to be labled as some sort of "gothic freak" just because I happen to own at BJD. But as I'm into D&D, Anime, Manga and such not, I think it's too late to shake off the freak lable.
       
    14. I like military stuff. How is that not clear by now?

      /joke

      Sorry, couldn't help a tribute quote to my favorite webcomic warlock. ;) Quite honestly, I'm not "a goth," and I doubt I ever could be - it's just too much work to do it well! But I have friends who are, and I certainly don't hold it against them. In fact, I admire them for their sense of style, even if it's not the same as mine (I've been told I have no sense of style, so this is probably a good thing).

      And what people think about the hobby, about the dolls, has never really mattered to me. Either they tolerate it, are amused by/like it, embrace it with me, or think I'm a freak.

      Frankly, darling, I don't give a damn. (Ah, again with the mangled tribute quotes!)
       
    15. re: people understanding the doll hobby more when you point out the creative aspects (sewing, photography, etc.) -- the more i think about it, the more i think people have a hard time relating to "collection" hobbies because they can't imagine spending a lot of money on something unless they are interested in it themselves. designer bags vs. action figures vs. rare coins, etc. i guess it's just easier for people to understand the appeal of a creative hobby, even if they aren't creative themselves.
       
    16. The connection of dolls with goth must be really recent, or just with BJDs in general. I read an article about 10 years ago where the author equated americans who were into doll collecting with being 'trailer trash' and another pointed to the abundance of mid-western and southerners who were into the hobby! Not sure where the latter comments were supposed to lead to!!! I found the comments rude and inaccurate as I knew of several doll collections that were studied upon and researched and of such high regard to be of museum quality! The work and research that went into them as far as social, fashion and even business history always impressed me....
      As a former vintage Barbie collector the first question I was always asked was 'are you a hairdresser'? (no I'm not, and everyone in my circle knows that I can't even comb doll hair for the life of me) Funny how the women never got asked that!
      Alex
       
    17. A few days ago, a really idiotic person I know told me he was SO pissed off because of BJDs. This was on IRC and I was linking to a few guy dolls I wanted..

      He said that the bjd stereotype was pissing him off. Told me they're all stupid yaoi-lovers that influenced the way anime and manga was becoming. Yaoi-fans were the reason they don't make masculine guys in mangas anymore. I was blown away by this and tried to tell him that all BJD-owners wasn't animefans, yaoifans or gothic (that he also mentioned). He refered to wikipedia that says that anime has alot to do with BJDs. Is this true btw? I always they were more influenced by the popular kimonodolls they've got in Japan. O.o
      Oh well. He later discussed and made mean comments about another person he has heard of that like BJDs, and that was because she is gothic.

      I think all different people like dolls, but there's only a few types that break through to people who don't know anything about these dolls. They think what they want to think to make them feel like a better person. But I don't really mind what others think.. But I try to be as "normal" as I can, so I don't get too much attention ^^;
       
    18. *pffft* Cry me a river, bro! Tell him he gets no sympathy when it comes to complaining about the way gender is portrayed in comics, until he's tried being born female.

      I work in the game industry, and yet I hear this type of Poor Downtrodden Male Victim argument all the time. And I'm starting to charge people $1 per complaint I have to sit through, it's getting to be such a chorus. Really: Scanty clothes, unrealistic sexualized situations, & idealized bodies have been just FINE with the world of comics-- for the past 60-odd years-- as long as it's only being done to female characters. All of a sudden, once you give those traits to a male character, now it's not so fun anymore. Now suddenly you feel your whole gender is being misrepresented & misunderstood. Oh noes! Can't have that! How's it feel? :lol: No sympathy.

      That is why I don't let stereotypes bug me: The person who's applying the label usually has so many labels stuck to himself that they're obstructing his/her vision. They never realize that they shouldn't be calling the kettle black.
       
    19. lol awesome so true. boys are nothing but big babies when it comes to that.
       
    20. Off-topic, but since it was brought up, what is so masculine in the first place about guys in comics, esp 60 years ago, running around in underwear over tights? :mwahaha
      Not saying that it wouldn't look good on the right person though :thumbup

      Alex