Flip Flopping

All the time.

"I love you, but what are you doing here?"

"You'd be better off with a collector who would really appreciate you/do things with you!"

"I don't know who/what your character is..."

I tend to get brief flashes of creative inspiration that fairly quickly fizzle into nothingness.

In short, I never know what I'm doing with my collection.

 

If you're ever flip flopping about selling a doll, don't sell it. It's pretty unlikely you'll be able to get the doll back if you change your mind. It's best to be sure when you let go of your dolls so you have no regrets.

Maybe try playing with them more! I'm not sure a smaller collection makes it any easier to bond, but spending more time with them definitely helps. I also don't think dolls need to be 100% perfect to be enjoyed. There's at least one thing about each of my dolls I dislike! If you truly dislike one of your dolls, you really shouldn't be hesitating to pack them up and send them off.

 

No, this hasn't happened to me. I always buy dolls I really want and know I have to have. I'm still new to the hobby, so I can't imagine downsizing my collection.

Once the dolls are mine I want to keep them forever. I'm sure at a later date I will have to downsize. I spend days to weeks staring at the doll photos based on when the bjd company post photos. I stare at the photos everyday until the order period opens up.

If everyday I look I want the doll more I know I have to have it, but if my desire to have the doll diminishes over the days I stare at the photos I know I can go without that doll.

I look at the blank face to make sure I will like the blank face and check the face up to see if it really is something I want. If I think I can go without the default face up I don't get. I look at the clothes it will come with and think about if I really like it and add it on if I really feel like my doll needs it or I want it to be completely satisfied with the purchase. If I think it is too costly I skip the eyes and wigs, and buy it at a later date.

I try to determine which skin color will suit that doll and get that color if I think it will look aesthetically pleasing with the face up. I prefer tan color and fantasy colors, but sometimes I get the skin color i think will suit the doll.

I used to want pale skin for my dolls to look like snow white because I like contrast between colors. If the hair is black then I like the skin pale. If the eyes are light color then I want the skin to be darker. If what I want is contrast between colors, but I think it might not look good on a particular doll I will buy what I think will suit that doll.

If the dolls is pleasing to look at then I like the doll.

The only bjd I bought on impulse after planning my luts purchase was on bjdivas. I made a large order and saw souldoll angel ver ah-in and knew I had to have him. I didn't like the items he came with, but was on a short time limit to buy the luts on time.

As a result, I bought ah-in as a full package except without his shoes. I regret I bought him on impulse, but I still love that doll. He is on layaway with my luts. I like his dark tan skin with a nice shine to his skin and his face sculpt is beautiful.

I had a hard time deciding on his face up, but went with my personal preference because I was running out of time. I regret his outfit though. There some parts I liked about his outfit and some parts I didn't like. If I had more time I probably wouldn't have chose to add the outfit.

Here is a link to see ah-in:
*Special ball jointed doll for you, SOULDOLL*

He reminds me of the korean actor yoo ah-in because of his name. What caught my eye was his name because I just finished a drama with yoo ah-in in it. The fact he was an angel made me want him because the drama I was watching was hellbound where angels of death come and take people to hell.

He only comes with one face up option, but I read I could switch his face up to his human ver face up, but I went with his default. I remembered it wrong I thought I went with my personal preference which is a soft delicate face up, but I went with a stronger face up because I thought it would suit him better than a soft delicate face up.

Here is his human ver face up:
*Special ball jointed doll for you, SOULDOLL*

It isn't as soft and delicate as I like it, but still beautiful.

@BlackCatNova
I think that's a good idea to browse more varieties of dolls to determine which companies and styles you prefer. I started collecting around the early stages of the pandemic, but for a few years before I started making purchases I browsed many doll companies. That's how I learned I have a preference for Korean bjds. At first, I thought I liked Volks, but after wanting Volks for years. I learned their face sculpts isn't exactly to my liking. Sometimes I think I want a Volks, but then I see a doll that I know I absolutely need to have. Then I learned of Ringdoll and wanted one, but I decided to wait and look more. Everytime I tried to buy a bjd other than a Korean bjd I felt hesitant because there was something about the doll I didn't feel a strong attachment to. If I see a doll that I feel a strong desire to collect and that feeling grows stronger as each day passes then I know I won't change my mind. The odd thing is I only felt like that for bjds that are from Korean bjds.

I always find out when I look up the doll it is a Korean company. I don't know why I gravitate so strongly to bjds from Korean companies. I guess for me the flip flopping feeling only happens when I am contemplating on a doll to purchase. I really thought I wanted the Ringdoll, but I kept hesitating.

I agree with you too about the yellowing thing. I was scared of it because I heard how people hated when their dolls yellowed and I didn't understand why, but hearing so many people being upset about their dolls mellowing made me develop a fear of my dolls yellowing. After I got my approval to be a full member of doa I saw a doll that mellowed, and I didn't mind that it changed in color. To me it still looked beautiful that's when my fear of the doll mellowing left, but I feel like this fear might come back once I unbox all my dolls because I really like Peakswoods lavendar pink and don't want the color to change. I enjoy looking at the color of the lavendar pink on all the Instagram photos I've seen. I guess then I will have a problem with mellowing only with certain dolls... the ones I cherish the most. I wonder if I will feel that flip flopping feeling once the doll mellows on my most favored dolls...

I still can't unbox my dolls though because I am moving and had really terrible experiences with the movers. They broke so many expensive stuff each move. That's stopping me from unboxing my stuff.

 

Flip flopping has begun since the I started in hobby. Company photos never really show a doll truly as it is, and second hand doesn't always go much better. I had to take a hard look at what I do love in hobby as well as what I can pull off. I can't do sexy, couples in love or anything other then cute. I now look at dolls from not just what I can handle, but what I can take photos showing what I want to convey and I am much happier for it, as is my bank account. Due to hands developing arthritis I have to give up on big beautiful boys and I have to focus on not to small but manageable MSD or slightly bigger. Posing is key and standing just as important. I still look at the newest offerings on market place, but so happy when I don't see anything that says, yes I need them. I focus on my soon 5 but know I only want 2 more and then I will be just playing with all of them.

 

I have all my dolls out on display so I can admire them and change their clothes/wigs/eyes whenever I want. Plus I like to talk to them and take them down for photos every now and then.

As for flip flopping, there is only one doll I am like that with. She didn't seem to match my group so I put her away. But when I tried some wigs on her, I was like "wait I do like you a little...maybe I should get you a new face up?" I am still waffling on that - if a new face up would endear her to me or not.

 

A couple of dolls in my crew have done that.
One was perfectly fine after a new faceup and finishing her outfit. One just needed some more thought. One floating head is going to move on as nothing I've tried worked and the style is not for me. I have space and energy limitations and when I ignore those it does me nothing good, but that is usually applied to dolls I'm thinking about getting. Your collection is up to you and you don't need to re-home or sell a doll to fit into anything other than your own boundaries.

 

I think sometimes it takes time to find a doll’s look. Try changing wig, eyes and clothes. If you really can’t find an outfit that makes you LOVE your doll, and you’re longing for a different sculpt, then consider selling. That’s my advice.

 

I really like your approach here - it makes a great deal of sense to take a look at what you can actually accomplish with your dolls, including what photography styles work for you, in order to avoid frustration and disappointment. I'm really glad I read this - it may help me figure out what I want to do!

I have no completed dolls yet and I'm not sure what I'm doing lol, but I can already tell I can't do sexy either, though (heck, I can't even flirt in real life X) ) - I'll be more comfortable with a cute style or a Mori/cottagecore style with a slightly melancholy/vintage atmosphere. Maybe some "slice of life" type photos as well - images that tell a story.

 

It took me a while to come to conclusion and many many beautiful dolls, especially girls to see I was trying to accomplish the impossible. Thankfully the cute ones are my favorites.

 

Yeah i've been feeling this with my Unoa Sist, I just don't feel the sculpt fits the character I have planned for her. But, she is also unfished at the moment so I'm gonna make a few changes to her and readjust. Sometimes the hobby is just like that, I feel like everyone gets that sense of never feeling satisfied or sure about their collection.

 

@BlackCatNova keep them out of direct sunlight and they won't yellow any faster than if they live in their boxes. Most of mine are out on display in my bedroom, and most don't seem to have changed color noticeably.

I've flip-flopped about wanting to sell a number of mine, and sometimes a fairly minor change can make a big difference. I finally got Jin different hands and I'm much happier with her now. I also find that my quota for cute dolls is already filled, and prefer my dolls be quirky and pose decently as well.

 

I flip flop about selling and only once have I felt like I made a bad choice. It was my Feeple60 Erda that I sold because I thought he was too big for me at the time. But when he was finally gone I regretted it almost every day. I've got a Feeple60 Miwa now though and I love her size to bits and a new Erda on the way and I'm never letting him go

 

I flip flop all the time.

I tend to get bored easily, and things don't hold my attention for long. I'd say the average "life span" for a doll in my house is probably about a year. I have some who have been around longer, and I don't think my first will ever leave, but more often than not, they come in, I have my fun, then I'm ready for something new.

Most of the time, once I decide I'm done with a doll, it's time for them to go. But occasionally, I'll pack one up to list, then miss them and unpack them. Sometimes I even list them, then change my mind. (Only if no one has shown interest, though. I wouldn't change my mind after agreeing to sell to someone.) Sometimes I'm done with a character, plan to sell the doll, then realize either the head or body (or both!) would be great for a new character, with a complete make over--new faceup, new wig, new eyes, new style, new name, etc.

One of my girls was previously shelled, I sold her, missed her, and rebought the same sculpt and now have her again. One of my boys was previously shelled in a different doll, I lost interest, sold him, missed him two years later, reshelled him in a doll I bought from my sister, didn't feel the connection past that impulsive spark, boxed him up, listed him, then missed him again and took down the listing. I think I've flip flopped on that poor boy more than I have on any doll!

 

Oh all the time. I'm one of the most indecisive people you'll ever meet but I can say that being flip floppy isn't necessarily a bad thing either. Especially when it comes to expensive dolls. Being so, leads you to be more diligent with research into the dolls you want.

 

Maybe think of it like that's kept you from impulsively selling them? Boxing up dolls you aren't sure about is recommended a lot. I've done it too and still ended up selling, but it does help me look at the dolls a bit differently after not having them visible for a few weeks.

If you're worried about having too many similar sculpts, you could take a photo of each and have them all in an album. Easy reminder of what you've already got. Though imo having similar dolls isn't a bad thing, everyone has their flavor. Exaggerated funky sculpts can't all be that similar, right?

 

I feel really guilty. I've flip-flopped on one doll in particular for years. When I first started collecting I bought a Resinsoul Mei in white skin. I had no other MSD size dolls, and no other dolls with fantasy features, nor with white skin tone. Mei has cute elf ears, and was really appealing to my interest in fairy tales and fantasy I don't remember why I chose to get her in white skin (that was ten years ago). My other dolls all had natural skin at that time. So anyway, try as I might, I could not bond with poor little Mei. She is a sweet girl, but she just did not fit in with my crew. After trying to love her for about 5 years, I finally sold her.

Skip ahead to last year. I have a few other elf dolls in my collection now, and MSD size dolls, so I thought Mei might be welcome this time. I still liked the sculpt and often look at her on Denver Doll. So when a light tan skin Mei became available in stock, I got her. Once again I tried to love Mei. And once again I just could not bond with her. So I listed her for sale on a couple of Facebook sites and also here on the Marketplace. After several months not selling, I changed my mind and thought I would keep her. So I removed the sales listing for a few weeks. But once again I could not bond with her.

Soooo. . . I listed her for sale AGAIN on a several facebook sites, and after a couple of months someone bought her.
But then I came down with a serious case of COVID and could not go to the post office to ship her right away. The buyer became angry that I could not ship Mei as soon as promised, so she demanded a refund. If she had just asked for a refund, that would have been understandable, but she was really nasty about it and reported me to PAYPAL, claiming that I was trying to cheat her.
So now Mei is still in my possession, and I am so upset by this last incident, that I can't bring myself to put her up for sale again.
But what do I do with poor little Mei. I still can't bond with her, and am really feeling bad about the way I've flip-flopped on her so many times. It's like she is in limbo now.

 

I'm sorry you experienced that while having covid. I never experienced flip flopping in my dolls. I don't know if any of my suggestions will help you, but here are some stuff maybe you can do:

1. Give the doll as a gift to a very close family or friend who you cherish, but only if they will cherish the doll.
2. Keep the doll and give it to your future children to play with or if you have children give them the doll to be played with if they are at an age to treat the doll well and won't accidentally swallow the small pieces.
3. Donate the doll.
4. If you can't bring yourself to like the doll... can you use the doll for practice face ups?

Sorry, I think all my advice is not that good. I'm still not sure what bonding with a doll is, but I am assuming it means being attached to the doll. Maybe it will help you if you try to pinpoint what it is that is stopping you from liking the doll. Is it her skin color just isn't what you hoped it to look like, her face up isn't to your liking, etc. Once you figure that out you can change whatever you don't like then you might like her.

 

I think I more or less understand your point...
my collection at the beginning was small and now I have 15 and more on the list, at first I loved them all and did not see any defect but over time my tastes were changing, I met other molds, artists and makeup and I realized that the things that connected with me

at the beginning did not do it anymore was then I decided to sell most of the ones I had at the beginning and I only kept one, then also my tastes changed in terms of size, at the beginning I only liked the MSD and YoSD , but now I am in love with the SD size, it became my favorite when before I mentioned that I didn't like them...

so I think that's the way it goes, it's not that you stopped loving them, I think your tastes have been changing or evolving and that's what you are feeling, it's completely normal, it's also important not to hold on to something if it doesn't make you happy, so I think if some of your bjds don't convince you 100 % you should sell them and let others come into your life and you can give them love.