Friends with dolls

Nov 26, 2017

    1. I know the question has been asked many times, as to how your friends and family feel about your hobby. I hope this question is a little different.

      Do you have friends who also collect dolls? If so, how do you relate to them? Do you have discussions about dolls; play together; make things together; etc.?

      My closest friend also has dolls, and one is a BJD. We get together and talk about dolls quite a bit. Since I have quite a few BJDs and she only has one, she is very interested in hearing all about my dolls, their stories, and my plans for them. Sometimes she brings her doll over to my house to "visit" my dolls, sort of like a play date.
      I LOVE being able to talk about dolls openly with someone in person like that. I have lots of online doll friends, but this is my only doll friend I see in person.

      The only issue that I have with my doll friend, is she wants to change my doll's stories, and she also wants to rename my dolls. This kind of irks me, but I don't show my annoyance, I just humor her.
      For example, I just got a head back from getting a faceup, and when she saw him she decided she didn't like the name I gave him, so she is calling him by another name. In my head I'm thinking she should get more dolls for herself and not try to change my dolls. What do you think?
       
    2. Me and you are similar in ways here, about having a friend with one doll (which is me) and my friend who has more than me. She has them as characters for her story that is writing, in the future it will be a book and I can't wait for that day! My friend she got me into the hobby when I was in high school so imagine talking about dolls with your friends there lol, couldn't really much. I purchased mine earlier this year in May, I'm a college student now so taking my doll to campus happens often (seriously depends on our bipolar weather at NY).

      I am really open with my doll, and since my only doll so far is a smart doll I am able to take Cassata (her name) with me most places. I usually would have her strapped to my backpack and go to campus/city. I personally think the more you open up to people and tell them about it, you will unknowingly spark their interest in the hobby and I know it is really awkward at first but hey you get used to it.

      About your friend changing stories, I don't know why you would? That's the point of having your own dolls and your own story to begin with, their yours and not hers lol. Expressing opinions is fine, like the dolls name or whatever or giving them a nickname. But trying to CHANGE something that is better in your views and not the authors? Doesn't make sense, you are perfectly fine getting irked by your friend. I feel like she needs to start her own storyline and doll line ups for herself in this case where she feels the need to manipulate yours. All in all, I highly relate to you other than the story changing and such lol!
       
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    3. I have a couple of friends with dolls but only one who lives anywhere near me now, and even she lives an hour away. She brought both of her dolls (a 1/3 boy and a 1/6 girl) to meet mine (a 1/4 boy) a couple of months after I received him because we wanted to see the whole scale difference in person, which was pretty cool. She also gave me a wig that she had that didn't fit either of her dolls.

      Unfortunately, I don't really get the chance to talk dolls with any of my friends except the one who lives on the other side of the globe (which makes meeting up too difficult) but seeing how they're creative with their dolls has me really inspired to get into faceups like they do, and I know they would be open to sharing insight if I were to ask them. :)

      I HAVE on the other hand, inspired my housemate to be interested in ball jointed dolls, and she's conveyed interest in owning one of her own at some point soon so that's pretty exciting! It would be nice to have more resin 'lives' in our home.

      @ParlourGoddess , I'm so sorry your friend is acting that way. Like what Ashef said above, you being irked by your friend's behavior is absolutely reasonable. I would mention it to her if it's upsetting you, as she may not realize what she's doing is getting to you. Being creative and having ideas is fantastic! Just not when you're being pushy and dictating what someone else should do with their own dolls. Whether it be new ball jointed dolls or something else it might be better for your friendship if she put those ideas into her own belongings instead. ^^;
       
    4. I do have doll friends, and my sister is also in the hobby. I met all of my doll friends through the hobby, either through roleplay, local meets or DoA. Some of them are close friends I can talk to about anything, others I keep the subject on dolls because we really don't have anything else in common and probably never would have met or hung out if not for the dolls.

      I enjoy seeing everybody's dolls, but I would not be comfortable with someone trying to change my dolls to fit their tastes. Sometimes we do work together to create stories that fit both of our dolls, but not if it means someone has to completely change their doll's character. I think the beauty of having doll friends is to see all the diversity and creative ideas!
       
    5. I don't have friends who are into BJDs aside from people I met on DoA; generally, I'm the one introducing people to the hobby, wether they find an interest in it or not. My parents and siblings found it kinda strange at first but they got used to the idea really quickly. Dolls weren't much of a stretch after years of drawing and having interest in cosplay and figure collecting, which are also more on the creative side of things.

      In fact, I've just introduced one of my closer friends to BJDs today! She isn't too sure about them yet since dolls creep her out a little bit but she's found mine okay to look at for the moment. She's also great at sculpting and has shown some interest in making scaled props, heavy doll modding and painting, which is more up her alley. Regardless of if she gets into the hobby or not I'm glad I have someone else I can talk to about my dolls from time to time! We share other interests and hobbies so I suspect that the subject of dolls will come up somewhat regularly if she gets more into it.

      Like others have said, I think it would be a good idea to tell your friend that her behaviour irks you. I certainly wouldn't like my friends to do whatever they prefer to my dolls, even if it was just changing their names. Maybe you're okay with it now, but it may get ''irkier'' in the future, so to speak. Dolls aren't worth loosing a friendship over.
       
      #5 Petit Lapin Lunaire, Nov 27, 2017
      Last edited: Nov 27, 2017
    6. Thanks for all the comments and advice. I think I should talk to my friend and tell her how I feel (in a nice way). She's kind of a control freak in other ways, but I'm really easy-going, so I usually just ignore it.
      But it really got to me today when she insisted on calling my boy by a totally different name. I feel insulted, like she doesn't think my ideas have value. I certainly don't want it to get in the way of our friendship, however, because in every other way we are really close and loving friends to each other.

      Actually it's kind of comical, because my new boy has blond hair, blue eyes and freckles. My friend insists he looks Japanese (huh?) and is calling him Yoshi, which is NOT his name. >SHRUG<
       
    7. I have a friend who collects dolls, although not BJDs. We used to meet up and work on doll projects together, but now we live in different states. I'm more into customizing and crafting, and he likes restoring secondhand dolls and just collecting in general. He does some customs, but not as much as I do.
      He recently sent me one of his Disney dolls and I made an outfit for her. That was pretty fun. I miss him terribly, but we stay in touch.
       
    8. Sadly, I don't have anyone close by that collects dolls but a few of my aunts have shown a lot of interest in the ones I do have. They are very supportive and they are also creative so I can openly talk about ideas and designs to them and get feedback. I even bounce ideas off my SO and he humors me and shows interest in even creating a character of his own for the fun of it.

      @ParlourGoddess I can definitely understand being laid back with a controlling friend, but hun, if you don't put some boundaries down then she is just going to keep thinking it is okay to do so.. I'd honestly just let her know that you don't appreciate her trying to change part your doll's character that you worked so hard to create.
       
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    9. I have a handful of friends in the hobby, and I'm lucky to have the kind that have just been super-nice and helpful in terms of advice for getting started.
       
    10. I have many doll friends whom i met in meets, but only a few i spoke to outside of meets! Alot of the doll frds i met are very different from me in term of age and personality and some can be quite shocking! Even though i convinced my bf to get a doll, we dont talk much about it cos he is happy with 1 girl while i am constantly on the prowl for new additions, lol
       
      #10 Coco loh, Nov 28, 2017
      Last edited: Nov 28, 2017
    11. Yes, and in some cases I have friends who I didn't know were into dolls until I saw they were posting here on DoA.

      I'm into lots of different types of dolls (many off-topic here on DoA) and have friends who are into one type of doll or another, friends who are into dolls in general, and friends who are doll-phobic and won't visit me at home because of my dolls.

      I get together with several doll friends to sew, play D&D, go to the theatre, go to craft events, and Science Fiction Conventions, troll the charity-shops for bargains, as well as having dolly days.

      Teddy
       
    12. I met my ex because of collecting dolls, and there´s some people around me that like the hobby as well. My mom collected Barbies, I have a friend that ordered his first BJD a while ago and is waiting for the package to arrive, one of my friends loves seeing doll pics... Most of my friends think they are amazingly beautiful, but they don´t want to have one themselves. They enjoy having me tell them about dolls and feel curiosity towards the hobby, and even help me find stuff for dolls.

      What you commented about your friend trying to change your characters... Maybe you should talk it with her. I had a friend that did the same with the characters in my stories and I just told him I didn´t feel comfortable with that. He understood my point and stopped doing it. I hope it´s also like this with you too and you can work it out!
       
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    13. I recently got very interested in BJDs, and some of my friends either saw me looking them up or I told them. One of them apparently likes dolls too and showed me some Monster High dolls she thought were cute! I keep showing her different BJD styles I know she'd like, so I'm hoping to eventually turn her to the dark side!! :mwahaha
       
    14. You are a Bad Influence!

      Carry on.

      Teddy
       
    15. I know! :mwahaha Just wait until she hears about double headed dolls! That'll convince her for sure!:mwahaha
       
    16. I wish I had a friend who had dolls! My friends know I have them and don’t judge (most of them have nerdy hobbies of their own) but it’d be nice to “play” together :). I’m looking forward to going to a local meet sometime to meet some real-life dolly friends.

      As for your your friend— it seems innaproproate to me that they are trying to change your characters’ names and stories. Constructive criticism is one thing, just taking over is another. If they want to integrate your characters in their characters’ world, maybe you can collaborate on an AU (alternate universe) where all your characters will fit in.
       
    17. When I first got into the hobby my enthusiasm must have been infectious, because four of my friends turned around and bought dolls as well. Of them only one is still both a good friend and active. Unfortunately, she also lives 10 hours away. :doh

      Our main way to enjoy the hobby together is through text messaging. We talk about future plans and silly hypothetical character situations, share progress pics, alert each other of sales and do a lot of “what do you think of this sculpt?”

      When we are together we make crafts or sew. I have done a few of her dolls’ faceups and she’s made mine some jewelry. We have plans to do a camping photostory with our main characters when we are together next spring or summer, and planning the props and outfits is a nice low-key long-term topic to chat about.
       
    18. I had friends who were some of the first to have bjds in the US.

      When I got my first bjd in 2004, I immediately met up with two friends who also had bjds and they let me try some clothes and wigs on mine!

      I discovered that lots of people I knew had bjds when I first got interested in them.

      I've always been lucky with friends--they love many of the same things I do. It's definitely added to my bjd experiences! :XD:
       
    19. Yes.
      I have two friends who I know collect BJDs as well as some friends that don't collect but do like my dolls and friends here on DoA.
      I no longer live near the friends who also collect but me and @Alucard521 used to get together and make doll stuff or take pictures pretty often. We still talk about dolls and doll-related stuff through phone calls and messages often though.
      I have also been talking to some collectors in my area through here and maybe we'll meet and do doll stuff together someday :3nodding:
       
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    20. I got hooked in the BJD hobby by the influence of a friend of mine and we joined quite an active local BJD community back then where I made some more BJD-addict friends. There were a lot of meet-ups and photoshoots organized around a certain theme and we got together a lot. The community still exists, but many of the members went their separate ways and we just drifted apart, some of them went out of the hobby (we are still friends, but they are not in the hobby anymore), or went on hiatus (including myself), or moved to abroad.

      I think it is not easy to meet anybody with an interest in BJDs outside BJD-communities like this. Outside this circle I never even met anybody who knew or liked BJDs and people often find this hobby weird, so I tend to be more and more hesitant to talk about them.