Has a bad experience ever turned you off dolls?

Did the bad experience ruin all 40 of your dolls or just specific ones? If it is specific ones, maybe sell those and then see how you feel?

I recently had a bad experience with buying some second hand BJD clothing but I didn't let it chase me away from the hobby. I might not buy off that seller or certain platform again but I still like my dolls and certain styles of clothing. I can exist in the hobby without having to interact with aspects that make me unhappy.

But that's just my experience.

 

I'm pretty new to the hobby and only have one doll but getting into it, I did have concerns. I know there's a lot of people who are rude when it comes to collecting dolls and especially since they're so expensive, people view them as a waste of money. When I was younger, other's opinions often influenced me but now that I'm older I know that dolls are something that make me happy and I think it's worth the money.

I'm very sorry you had some horrible experiences. Sometimes these things take a long time to heal from and like the comment above said, if it's just certain dolls then maybe sell those. It might not be the hobby itself that brings up bad emotions but it could be the negative memories that you've associated with the dolls you currently have. I don't know if that made sense as I'm just trying to give advice based off my own experiences but think over your emotions and do what feels right. I hope you find a solution that brings you happiness!

 

I've had bad experiences with off-topic dolls but never BJDs. Everyone I've interacted and done business with have been awesome.

 

It hasn’t really turned me off from dolls but it has turned me off of not getting faceups from artist and custom item stuff. The faceup artist took a veryyyy long to complete my faceup. It was more time than they said in their rules. They never let me know when the head got to the So I had no idea if they just ran off with my head or it got lost. It was two weeks before they even got back to me. They also didn’t listen to my request of the colors I wanted. I wanted blue lips and instead got purple lips. And I couldn’t even change it since they already shipped it off when they sent pics of it. I couldn’t really bound with the doll since it didn’t turn out how I wanted and I spend a big amount on the faceup and I didn’t want to start anything since they have big following and I was new at the time. Another time I got a custom 3d printed head and it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted a winking face and instead of that I got both open eyes and it looked nothing like the person I wanted. Couldn’t change anything since they decided to ship it before sending pics and they were from a different country.
After all that I just vowed to learn how to my own faceups. I actually like mine better and it’s fun. As for custom heads I rather pay a a lot more for a better more recommended artist

 

I've had bad experiences that put me off of certain sellers or companies, mostly things like lots of lying, deception, wait times 5 times longer than listed, damaged/low quality items with no compensation. Because of these issues, I've sold dolls almost immediately upon receiving them because it felt like too much negativity was attached.

The closest I've ever come was when I had most of them tied up in a roleplay with a friend and when that ended abruptly, I felt I couldn't just continue their characters/stories, the web was woven too much to make sense. So I gradually sold them off and replaced them with a new crew to start fresh. But I see that as just the end of an era, not wanting to ditch the hobby. I love this hobby far too much, I'm not sure anything could turn me off entirely.

 

My ex boyfriend showed the side piece my flickr and she grew a liking to one of my dolls - he asked on her behalf where she could find one. Anyway I still got my doll and i laugh when i think about him and that female - i believe they still together. I usually smile when i look at my doll, because life only gets lonier as the days go by.

 

My mother not knowing they were more of an art piece said that she thought they were juvenile.

I realize now that she didn't have any idea what type of dolls I was talking about.

 

I very nearly sold a doll due to the outrageous number of mishaps that occurred during its shipping. I was ready to give up and get rid of the bad vibes, but I wound up keeping her, and I'm glad I did. I haven't done anything with her yet, but imagining what she'll be someday makes me happy.

It makes me sad to hear that a bad experience turned you off from all BJDs. I hope you manage to find that spark for them again, but that might require selling off your current collection and starting over. That is, assuming it's all of the dolls that make you anxious. If it's only some of them, consider selling those first. If you'd rather not sell them, maybe put them away for a while and see how you feel in the future. As I did not experience what you did, I cannot say for sure what the "right" answer is. My only solid advice is not to burn them all, because if nothing else, that's a lot of money you could put back in your pockets, either to start over or to funnel into your other dolls.

In the end, BJDs are a hobby. If they aren't making you happy, and if they're negatively impacting your mental health, you might be right to back out. There's no shame in that, people move on from hobbies for a lot of reasons. On the other hand, there's also nothing wrong with letting them sit for a while or selling some off and keeping others.

 

Hum. Some people might take to the idea of having a doll exorcism so I'll throw the thought out for you to consider. There are various ways. You know how people 'smudge' a house to remove bad energy from previous owners - that might work. Design your own ceremony; write down the negatives the doll reminds you of and burn the papers and say a blessing of renewal over the doll, ect. Stuff like that.

But, lol, and here's a confession - I would talk to the doll. Reassure the doll that it isn't their fault that someone used the doll to hurt you. The poor doll! It just wants to be loved! Totally strip the doll of old elastics, old clothes, hair, face-up, and let the doll start fresh and show you who it wants to be. Heal the doll, and heal yourself. Consider that the doll made a narrow escape and you are comrades in ridding your world of someone elses ugly issues.

If that doesn't work, yes, by all means sell it and know you helped it lovingly along on its journey. Safe journeys, Hitty!

 

When I first started the hobby I tried to keep it a secret, I knew my family wouldn’t see the artistic side of the hobby and they already thought I was childish and weird for getting into anime. My dad literally started acting as if I was a baby and would get mad when I tried to defend myself. It made me want to really just get rid of them since I felt so misunderstood and isolated. But I kept them because it made me so happy to go out and take pictures and change up their look. My friends really helped me out as well. Once I got married and moved away, my husband has really been supportive of my interests and has helped me increase my creativity and collection. I still have one of my original dolls, I still have some negative emotions linked with her but I just can’t find myself to get rid of her. It’s not her fault that those things happened.

Not everyone’s situation is the same. It can be hard to find enjoyment in anything when you’ve had problems or bad experiences. No one would blame you or judge you in this hobby for feeling like you need to leave. I find that most people I find in this hobby have had experiences that bring us all together in kindness and understanding. Sometimes it makes things just a little better if you talk about it and find comfort in others with like experiences.

I really like the suggestion of a ritual to cleanse the doll or the negative emotions. This hobby is so diverse, it would be a shame if you left and it was something that brought you joy. I wish you good vibes for whatever decision you make.

 

I had bad experiences with people in the community, so I blocked them and never bought from them again.

I had a bad experience linked with my ex and my fave doll (back at that time) I wanted her and waited for her so long and he ruined the whole process. He wasn't supportive and made me feel embarrassed abiut my hobby. I couldn't bond with the doll, neither build her a proper character, so I've sold her years ago.

This didn't stopped me from carrying on enjoying the hobby, but it added a few bumps to it.

I would suggest, as advised before, to sell the dolls that make you feel bad. It's hard, but it pays off.
If you feel like this with all your dolls, you can try to put some distance and take a break from the hobby, perhaps? I'm an very intermittent and I'm always on/off but that doesn't stops me from loving my dolls.

This is my very own experie ce and may not work for you, but I really hope you feel better and make peace with your dolls.

 

If I have to pay very high customs fees, which makes the doll significantly more expensive, it makes me a little resentful about them.
I have sold new dolls because I paid more than I wanted to for them, and I didn't feel good about it.
or it made me realize that the doll was not so special to me

 

This has happened to me with video games and literature (for some reason those hobbies attract hateful maniacs like flypaper) and there’s no shame in taking some time away or just enjoying a hobby with a smaller circle of people.

 

@Molliebean - I'm so glad the posts above could help!

One thing I wanted to say if you still wish to get rid of the dolls is burning them could be an unsafe idea - liquid resin and resin in a dust form is very dangerous to people and animals, and that includes the fumes put out by curing resin. So it would be better to sell them, give them to a thrift store (you might make someone's day - or even entire year!). Burning them might accidentally cause injury to wildlife (especially birds and more sensitive animals) and people in your area.

Just wanted to say that since I didn't see it mentioned above! But I hope that you will be able to return to enjoying your dolls in some way!

 

I can definitely understand that! I hope that you will get through this and will be able to enjoy the current dolls or new ones soon!

 

I can’t really add much to what has already been said other than maybe suggesting packing away the dolls that affect you most and keeping out those you don’t mind so much, if it’s practical to do so that is. Sometimes you just need a break from what is distressing you until you feel ready to face it. Perhaps every so often you could unpack one or two and see how you feel about them, letting them rejoin the collection only when you think the time is right. You probably, most importantly, need to focus more on the root causes right now without distractions so it may help you.

I’ve had several bad experiences connected to various hobbies over the years. Three connected to artwork, one to gaming (playing MMOs) and one here that I can say a little about.

In this hobby my bad experience was connected to the purchase of a head from another member. The person in question kept delaying and making up excuses. I wasn’t the only person affected either. Eventually I received it after a lot of hassle and in all honesty it made me feel sick to my stomach to even look at it. I kept it in the box, hidden away for quite a while until the anger subsided enough, stripped off the faceup it had, redid it and then I found myself at ease with her.

The MMO issue involved a stupid choice I made plus a couple of other people who were hell bent on stirring up trouble after I got a leadership role dumped on me. It all got very nasty and I ended up in a bad place mentally as one of the troublemakers was the ex of a friend. Stopped playing for years and have only recently got back into it. My confidence has taken an irreparable bashing though.

The art related ones involved bad clients, having to fight to get something recognised and the strain of using art as a career choice.

The last one, apprentice tattooist, led to a mental breakdown.

The first one, having clients that constantly changed their minds after I finished pieces, led to me stopping drawing and painting for almost five years. It was a long time before I did pet portraits again.

The middle one involved some fan art I did and tried to post in a LoTR forum many years ago. The pictures were drawn digitally, took me over twenty hours each and when I submitted them they were refused as they had a very strict policy on ‘photo manipulations’ in that they didn’t allow them. I contacted the moderators and tried to explain that they weren’t manipulations, they were paintings done using a computer instead of paint and paper. After a lot of arguing my point they told me to prove it. I had to send them copies of the layers of work and I did several actual pencil on paper drawings, photos of which I sent them. Eventually they believed me and allowed me to post them but by then the damage was done, those works made me feel sick and so angry to look at. While that battle helped pave the way for others in that forum and I suppose the whole mess was a backhanded compliment of sorts it just destroyed any enjoyment I had. I abandoned my project completely and left the forum.
I can look at the paintings now but it took a long long time.

 

That really sucks, i'm so sorry you had to deal with that regarding your artwork I know how much my hobbies take of me, each and everyone get a bit of my "soul" so when people are nasty like that, it's so upsetting.

I still haven't started drawing/painting again after an issue with a pet portrait as well, so I get you and send you a virtual hug