Having a doll - being selfish?

Well thats a difficult situation you are in.

I think its wrong to spend money on dolls or anything else if your own family is suffering, when there isn't enough food or money for medical bills. Then you need to get your priorities straight.

But in the situation if you are worried about other people who are poor in not-well-off countries. Well can you carry the burden for them? There is so much poverty outthere, while its good to do charity even your own funds will never be enough to help them all.

Try setting a goal for yourself. Maybe that you determine you will give away a certain amount like $300 a year to charity and then if you can save up more purchase a doll from the rest. If it gives you more peace of mind, it's not a bad way to do it.

 

I think this thread might be useful to you!
http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?240748-Are-we-spoiled-brats&highlight=spoiled+brats

 

I agree with Maankatje. It is quite a conundrum. However I also agree that it is a good idea to set aside money for charity as well as dolls! That way every year ( or however often you like ) you can donate money to a cause of your choice ( be it poverty, illness or so forth ).

This also may sound really weird but there are programs where you can sponsor a child in an impoverished nation ( its usually pennies a day, not a lot at all ). Maybe that will help ease your mind as well?

As my for own opinion... family and those who need me and need my support come first before my hobbies. So yeah I believe its wrong to forgo your own responsibilities to the people who love you in lieu of a doll. When it comes to global problems though I used to stress a lot over it and the sad thing is that I learned with age is that I can't fix everything no matter how sad some issues are. I can't let myself get so worked up over other peoples problems ( rather than my own! ) that I have anxiety issues when reading the news. I find volunteering ( soup kitchens, shelters, hospitals, religious establishments ) and donating to charities though does help ease those pangs of worry and stress. It may be something little but you are helping someone.

There are little things you can do to help but we can't fix it all. Most of all when you ( speaking mostly for myself ) don't have the monetary resources to do so. If I had more I would do more. It should be the same for anyone who feels that social responsibility.

 

I dont think its selfish. Buying a doll yes of course it costs money but then you may get artistic if you do faceups, and sewing clothes, these are good things if you feel good ppl around you wont have to deal with the bitch you if a doll makes you more peacefull
try sewing doll clothes to ppl in this hobby, and like give some % of what you earn of it to some good charity fond, because ppl will always buy stuff, hopefully not to much, but anyway, if we do so, this hobby will help the world.

 

It's not selfish -- spending money on a doll does not mean that you can't donate time and money to charity. Also, never buying luxury items won't magically cure the world of it's ills. Part of having a good quality of life is having a little extra, to enjoy activities that aren't work and sleep (and hobbies typically cost money).

 

No, I don't think it's selfish. There is pain and suffering all over the
world and people who could live next door to you that may be too
poor to eat every day. It's wonderful to care about people, and even
better to help others when you can....but not getting a doll because
you worry it's being "selfish" won't help anyone, unless you would go
and give your doll money to help someone in need.

But I do understand how you feel. After the tragedy in Japan I really
questioned how I could spend so much money on a luxury item like a doll
I even felt guilty for my past dolls....BUT I felt truly awful when a doll
that was on layaway shipped the week of the disaster and arrived on the 12th.

You could possibly look at it in a different way too......if you plan on
making things like clothes for your doll you could try selling some of
your handmade items and donate part of the money earned to a charity.
(Like Jina mentioned!)
My plan is to donate something every month, which will be easier for me
and something I could do regularly instead of just once.

I hope you'll still get your doll. Sometimes we don't have many chances
to be happy....if getting your doll will make you happy then you shouldn't
feel bad about that. Because you can always help others!!

A side note: there are times when getting a doll could be viewed as selfish.
If family or friends are knowingly going through difficult times and instead
of helping them you decide to buy an expensive BJD. But it doesn't seem
like this is your situation, you simply feel very bad for people in the world
who have less and need basic things in life. You have a good heart!!
And I'm sure you'll make a decision that feels right to you.

 

Buying a doll helps people too, whether you're buying from a company or a second-hand doll from an individual. You are spreading wealth around. That money will be used to pay workers or for bills or for buying other things and so on... There are other ways to spread wealth, but don't feel bad if you choose a time or two to do it this way. :-)

Raven

 

I encounter the same problem when I think about my relatives in the Philippines. All the money I've spent on dolls..could definitely have been sent to them as well. So I guess it is rather selfish to choose to spend on myself instead of on them, but the plain fact of the matter is, it is actually my money and I know my distant family well enough to discern that they would not know how to spend it. My parents have sent thousands of dollars to make sure they can spend it on school and medical bills, but at times they'd find out that the money got watered into hotels and expensive gaming consoles. So while yes, we are all guilty of spending on luxury, at least I still have means of support; they don't, and they still squander the amount. I think it boils down to how you use the money. My family in the Philippines was just one example. I'm sure if we sent the money elsewhere, it might be better used.

In the same vein, I do not think it's negatively selfish to buy things that will make you happy. Buying a doll does not make you a terrible person, it makes you a happier one. Sure, in comparison it would be seen badly that you spent money on a doll instead of donating it, but the simple fact is, you are not responsible to carry the burden of others. It may be extremely capitalist of me to say that it won't make a large difference anyway and that you can spend your money however you well want to (I believe otherwise actually) but my point: don't feel bad. Otherwise, how will anyone keep up a hobby?

 

Then you must be thinking about every one- frankly. Just because your country is "rich" doesn't mean you are. I currently live in a country considered by many (especially those who live here) to be the most "awesome place EVAR" and what not, yet there are still people living under bits of rusted metal. There are desperately poor people everywhere- the world isn't fair, or equal, or even good to everyone. Depriving yourself isn't going to fix this though. Nor will consuming massive amounts. Everyone must find a balance in themselves and in their lives.

You can certainly go ahead and donate money, or volunteer- even if you have 50 dolls, or a hundred. There are wonderful people right here on this forum who have that many, and I'm sure they'd never turn down a chance to help someone who's in need. I just think that on the note of helping others, you should start with your home town first- you'd be surprised at how many people are suffering right in your own back yard. Once you've started helping them, then go out and try to save the world.

 

That's a lovely way to look at it ravendolls

 

Money can't buy everything. I'd suggest doing volunteer work locally and pick projects that involves human contact and care, if you feel guilty about spending money on a doll. I do volunteer work through a buddy system and I have first hand experience that simple things like a conversation, having some tea or taking a walk may help someone feel like a person again and that is something you can't buy with money.
There are other ways to make a difference in someone's life than donating money. If you try that, you may feel less guilty about spending money.

 

I think the answer lives in one's conscience, and there is really no right or wrong answer. The questions that arise for me are: How much guilt do I choose to shoulder for the welfare of others while remaining responsible to myself and my family? What actually makes up the welfare of others (physical need, emotional need, spiritual need)? How altruistically do I need to live to feel I have lived well and justly? If I help a handful, even one other person, have I satisfied my self-defined social obligation? What is the best way for me to help without compromising the things that make me happy and inspire my own desire to keep creating?

We all know whatever answers we choose, we will be able to justify them to ourselves for whatever reasons, and those here are good justifications/solutions. We also know whatever we do to give to others, no one of us will not be able to resolve all problems of poverty and lack and need. Even Mother Teresa, as dedicated, selfless and inspirational as she was, could not resolve these problems. She acted as she did based on deep personal need and belief.

The above questions help me decide, not only when it comes to dolls, but just about any material possession (do I really need that extra sofa for a room that rarely gets used?). If deep personal need and belief motivate your decisions, whatever you decide, then you are acting in harmony with your conscience. I think that's the thing to shoot for.

 

I don't think its selfish to have or want a doll. It's not bad to want things. I wanted a doll for years and I saved money to buy her out of the pay checks I earned. If you feel so bad about wanting a doll, you can always donate to charities or do volunteer work to maybe ease your mind. Just because people have expensive things, it doesn't make them bad people.

 

If you're suffering from guilt and you're short on funds there are always other things you can do. Homeless shelters and food pantry's always need volunteers, and even a couple of hours a week helps. Work within your area of expertise as well. I help out at a children's gallery in Dayton that gives scholarship classes to underprivileged kids. It's fun actually, and I know about art so it helps me help the kids.

If you get int sewing you could even make doll clothes and donate some of your proceeds, then the doll would be helping you to help the less fortunate. Just remember someone EVERYWHERE needs help, there are rich people in "poor" countries just as there are poor people in "rich" countries.

 

I'm in the same boat as catnapscaps, I have to work hard to earn enough money to pay rent, with not much left over, so been saving for a doll for over a year, but I feel that when my doll finally comes home I would have honestly earned her. Also, we shouldn't forget charity shops / thrift stores. I buy all of my clothes second hand, and donate back what I can, it's an easy and convenient way to help out all kinds of charity cases. I've always given what I can to charity, and I know that when I'm earning more money, I may have more dolls, but I'll also donate more money to good causes.
I'd just like to add that animal charities are often forgotten and seen as not as important as people charities, and therefore get less donations, I'd like to point out that they are just as worthwhile to donate to!

 

I don't think so, I mean if you wanna say having a doll is selfish, you could turn that into having anything more than what you need is selfish and why are you such a horrible person oh my god

 

Not necessarily. A lot of my family has come from poor backgrounds, they've worked hard for what they have. They own things that they could never ever afford before. Things that can be considered expensive items, but they never forget where they came from. They don't gloat about what they have and they work with the communities they came from. There are a lot of people all over the world who are in the same situation. Not everyone who owns nice things is a snob.