How did you console yourself after your first major doll purchase?

Nov 15, 2020

    1. I just bought my grail doll that I've been dithering over for a while now, a luts model diez head on a model girl delf body. I think this sculpt is really, really gorgeous and I saved up money for it, agonising over it for weeks before ordering. I'm honestly really excited.

      But now that I've placed the order I have this horrible sinking PIT in my stomach when I think about all the money I just spent that could have been saved, or put towards something else. I don't usually spend big on a single item and it took a lot of effort for me to get the money for it, and there's still this possibility it may not be everything I hoped for when it arrives, or I might lose feelings for it. It's also the doll that I've spent the most on by far. Basically what I'm trying to say is clicking that checkout button has caused a LOT of worry over my very expensive purchase.

      I can't be the only one who get this anxiety after a giant purchase so I'm wondering, how did ya'll console yourselves when it happened to you? And was it all worth it when you finally had your dolly in your arms?
      • x 12
    2. I feel the same way, even though I only spent a few hundred on a doll. Not sure what your price point was, but I was able to console myself by looking at my monthly income and at my savings and saying, "Hey, this is just a drop in the bucket." Interested to hear what people think.
      • x 1
    3. Well. I know this hobby isn’t cheap but I also sometimes tell myself that I worked hard to save the money or earned it through other doll sales, so I kind of see that as my play money. Most people do have a hobby or some kind of enjoyment that they spend money on so I want you to enjoy your new doll. ❤️ As long as bills are paid or any other payments that need to be made are, you deserve this for yourself.
      • x 2
    4. For me, most of the work towards not regretting the expense of a purchase happens before the purchase itself. I make sure I don't rush into anything, and most of the time I buy secondhand or wait for sales. This diminishes guilt for me in two ways: the lower the price, the less likely I am to feel guilt in the first place; and, the lower the price, the more likely I can make my money back if I do change my mind later, so I can at the very least console myself with that.

      After I pay, if I still feel guilt or regret, I usually look at Popovy SIsters sculpts or dolls in a similar price bracket. Realizing that the money I spent went toward a low to middle priced doll usually helps me feel that I got a bargain, or at least helps put things into perspective.
      • x 6
    5. I rember someone on this thread that said you aren’t loosing the money but transferring it into another form. I had never thought of it this way, and it helped me greatly! Now I look at any big purchases as how much joy I will receive from the doll and the money part fades away. I think this goes with collecting, either it be bjds, sculpture, or art. You have to be willing to put in the long hard hours saving to have that rare delight, and be ok with what it costs, or this hobby will be nothing but anxiety, and where’s the fun in that?
      • x 6
    6. I think personally this kind of guilt is more than just the doll hobby. As long as you're responsible, mature, you invest in yourself, and work hard at what you do, you deserve whatever you want. I really hate it when people try to tell you how to spend YOUR money. It's hard to be confident if you don't empower yourself! You had the discipline to save money for your doll, give yourself credit! You'll be surprised lot of people can't do that.
      • x 14
    7. I feel this every time I buy a doll, and it's hard to justify it or not feel guilty. The thing that helps me is knowing I can afford it, and that I worked hard for it, and that I'll love my doll and it will be worth it. I know that whatever doll I get will bring me joy, and in hard times I know I'll be glad to have that doll by my side.
      I also only get dolls that I really want, so no impulse purchases for me. It's always your choice and no one else's, so trust in yourself and your decisions.
      • x 4
    8. When a doll costs a lot (and for me that's over $300), I spend a lot of the ordering period hemming and hawing over if I should get it or not. I really think hard if it is what I want, who will it be, will they have some one to play with in my large fantasy doll family? I find that if I can't stop thinking about the doll at all, it means I should get it.

      Now, I am nowhere near as responsible as you are with money. I do make sure all my bills are paid, but sometimes my credit card cries because there has been a few instances where I got a little too happy (or lucky) and bought too many dolls close together.

      What I really love to take advantage of is the lay away program some companies have - or even some dealers. I find that way I can treat it like a bill that I pay and at the end, I get a doll I wanted!

      Anyway, you should love your Luts doll! You worked hard to save up for them and bring them home! You might feel like "how can I justify this?" but if it brings you joy and you get to play with them for years to come, they're well worth the cost! I also look at it as paying an artist for their work. They had to dream up the sculpt then create it. I can draw but I can't sculpt or poor resin or 3D print a doll.
      • x 4
    9. Anxiety is a constant companion of mine, but since I have always bought either secondhand or in-stock dolls, I've learned the hard way that if I dither too long, I could miss out on bringing home a doll that's older, limited, or no longer in production. I try to curb extreme impulse-buying, but if I see a doll I am in love with and know that I would have more regret if I missed out than regret over money spent, I go for it. I've also learned to recognize my spending patterns and know that I usually have periods of heavy buying in this hobby followed by much longer periods with no buying whatsoever, so it evens out. (Basically I buy until I achieve a level where my collection feels "right" and then taper off until I get the itch to change it up.) I never spend money I don't have, and as others have said...while these purchases might seem expensive and frivolous, I get much enjoyment and happiness from my dolls, and they give me an excuse to exercise my creativity and imagination.
      • x 3
    10. Lots of hobbies are expensive. Just because you are into dolls doesn't make it any less valuable of your hard earned money. Even after you make a big purchase, you usually wait a few months until the doll arrives so to put it into perspective, if you spent 500$ on a doll and you got it 5 months later, that's 100$ a month, roughly 3.50$ a day, so it ain't that bad really.
      • x 3
    11. Like others already said, I only buy if I can afford it and don't spend money I don't have.

      Also I only buy a new one every couple of years(always thinking it will be the last one), and I don't spend a lot on accessories, so divided by each month my netflix account is actually more expensive than my dolls...
      Which now when I think about it makes me reconsider the netflix account xD

      Other than that I always think about the price of the newest playstation or iphone that so many other people buy. I will get just as much joy from my doll, so if that's what I'd rather buy then why not? :)
      • x 2
    12. As someone who has been in this hobby since 2006, and has multiple dolls, I can safely say I still have this feeling after big purchases. For me it's often just a short moment though, because I can do fun stuff too. Planning how I want the doll to look and such. Which wig do I want, what kind of character will it become, etc.

      For the feeling itself, as long as you saved up and/or could afford it, then the feeling is just that. A feeling. You deserve something that makes you happy/excited, instead of just spending all your money on boring stuff. Some people smoke a pack a day, some people collect expensive guitars, some people buy the new PS5... Every hobby can be expensive and that is okay. People need hobbies. And you already said it is a grail, so go shove those feelings aside and go be excited for your new doll.

      P.s. I hope the wait won't be long. :)
      • x 3
    13. Well, if you don't like the doll, you can always resell it :)
    14. yes to everyone's points above!

      in summary, what's the point of working so hard in life if I can't spend it on things that'll make me happy?
      • x 4
    15. If ever I felt this way I told myself I could sell the doll on if it didn’t work out. Any money I’d lose in the process was just the price of the gamble, the price of finding out what would or wouldn’t work. As long as bills/commitments are paid and there’s not some other looming legitimate reason not to be spending that money, there’s no reason not to permit yourself excitement and happiness about the good thing coming your way. Celebrate the good fortune you find yourself in to be able to own something so nice, like you would legitimately be happy for a friend in the same position who had worked for it like you have.
      • x 4
    16. I did this when I bought a Dollmore Trinity girl. Halfway through my layaway I thought I'd lost my damn mind and berated myself the rest of the way through my payments, thinking maybe I'll just sell her when she got home to me if I really regretted it. However, once she showed up I was completely in love with the sculpt and the fact that I finally had my grail doll. I sometimes still think I'm crazy that I spent that much on her, however, I'm sure I've spent that much on dumber things that added up. At least with a doll she won't lose too much of her value if I take care of her and I can always sell if I outgrow her or something. But for now, I've very happy to see her everyday in my living room, she seems like one of the first truly special things I've ever owned as an adult. Just keep your boxes and papers in the back of a closet should you change your mind, always helps to have all the original stuff with them. Someone is usually happy to have a nice second hand doll that they don't have to endure the long production time for.
      • x 3
    17. I told myself: what else would i spend it on? Would it make me as happy as i would be with a brand new dolly to take pictures of, and sew for, and make things for, and paint, and dress up? Do i really think this was too much money to spend? Or is this me worrying just to have something to worry about (i do that quite a lot >_<) i also like to think, if i were to spend it on takeout food or soemthing, that would be gone after i eat it, but a doll can last for years and years! Thinking like that usually calms my nerves:)
    18. I think it’s normal to get that feeling of dread for a bit after spending a lot of money, but I don’t think it’s subject only to dolls. Because of societal pressures, and this overall message that we shouldn’t be spending money on frivolous things, I think it’s normal to feel some anxiety when we do.
      It will pass though, and if the worst does happen and you don’t feel attached to your doll, you can always resell them.
      • x 1
    19. I sometimes still feel this way, and I've been in the hobby and regularly buying dolls for over a decade. :roll:

      I have to break it down and justify it. I have to consider where the money came from. In order to afford a doll, I'm usually saving holiday and birthday money, or selling other hobby stuff to afford it. In those cases, I remember that it's a gift and/or I gave up other valuables to allow myself to own this doll. If I'm using money I earned from working or saved by not splurging on impulse buys, I tell myself that I work hard, I use most of my money for bills and other boring stuff, it's ok to treat myself sometimes. You have to have a little fun in your life, life can't be all work and no play. Sometimes, you just have to spoil yourself! (Of course, this is assuming you're not being irresponsible with money--if you or people/pets dependent on you are going without necessities because of your doll habit, then you really shouldn't be looking to justify it. I'm just talking about occasionally buying a doll responsibly! ;))
    20. Just bought my first full set (the last one I got I traded for), and I have been panicking just a touch. It was over $500 I had had no plans of spending. I’ve just been obsessively counting costs since to try and balance it out. And I’m trying to sell a bunch of stuff. But the panic is real.