How did you drop the bomb on your parents / loved ones?

It's a doll, it's not leukemia or a bizarre career change or a bad report card. I didn't drop a bomb, I said, "Look, I got a doll!" That was it.

If you don't act like it's the end of the world people are much less likely to treat it like the end of the world.

 

My husband was acutally working abroad at that time. So it was more like: honey, i bought a doll, he's big and demonic (it was soom Sard). he's a picture *sends a link* his reaction was one word: FARK! >_< He's generally scared of demonic things, but since I am an anime figurine collector - doll was not that big of a deal.
Parents...well.. "hi mom, i bought an epensive doll, lend me some moneys?" That followed about 10 minutes of random yelling and "so what is that doll thing made of solid gold?" She did like them alot, but well. She did not tip in for that one, but i've managed to get her to pay for my 5th and 6th dolls... hehe... (the dolls are no longer with me thoguh).
But no, i've never hid the price of the dolls from anyone.

 

I didn't shut up about how much I loved them for weeks, so then as long as it was my own money I was spending, if it shut me up my parents were fine with it XD
They did err about the price and say that I could have saved up for a laptop or something, but they weren't any worse than that, it was really surprising actually.

And then in the end I am using a computer at college like the one I would have bought if I didn't get my dolls, and I hate it with all of my being, so it's a good thing I got them, aha

 

THIS. I don't get why people treat telling someone they're buying a doll like like telling them they're dying or moving halfway round the world or turning into a pumpkin. It's a doll, and it's no different to purchasing any other collectible. There's no dropping of a bomb, it's just telling them you bought a doll. Personally, I pretty much said "I like these dolls, I want one and I'll be spending my own money to get it." and that was pretty much the end of that.

Like chibaraki said, don't treat it like some huge thing and other people won't, either.

And honestly, if you (general you, since I see a lot of people saying the same thing all the time) are an adult and are spending your own money, that *you* saved up or had left over, or were given, or acquired in whatever way you acquired it and you've paid up all your bills and obligations, it is nobody's business but yours if you decide to spend it on a doll.

 

Well, if you tink about it, the I bought a 2K doll is similar to "honey, I bought a 10K Swarowski lamp for our living room. Isn't it pretty?" Majority of "civil" people would go O_o WTF? and that's normal. So it's not really a bomb, it's more like... announcing that you're into slightly odd things. ^^
P.S. I so want to pitch a baseball into that lamp. ^^;

 

@kurodatenshi
It's ok, that's how I understood it. ^^
P.S. I'm glad she did - this way we're even - we both spend money on things that have little or none practical use. XD

 

Heehee I am horrible I live with my mom I am an adult who is going to school and as it is my money and in my name this so called money Ispent it on dollies now my mom doesn't like them she thinks as per most people have said I think those things r expesnive...blah blah so I choose do the mature and respoible thing ( teehee jk) I hide them. I feel that I shouldn't have to hide them but u know its my choice and eventually like when i Move otu if I move out they will come with me.

 

My mom knows I ordered a doll, with my tax return (only small portion other portion went to pay of credit card bill mostly). She was more annoyed by the fact I added back onto that debt by buying a tiny because I just needed to get a girl to dress up because my boy won't be cross dressing. Anyhow it's not her I'm worried about anyhow, she doesn't mind it so much because it's my money and I'm doing with it as I like.. I get my bills paid, pay for animals, and help her by buying groceries helping on rent and such... I think the girl tiny thing bothered because the card is in her name (no credit = no card for me) but I pay the bill.

As to everyone else in my family... I don't think my mom's side will care all that much, they may bug-eye at the price.. but.. yeah...

Dad however, I'm still wondering how to 'drop the bomb' all I know is if he doesn't think it productive and uses up money, it's a waste (like my animals). The thing is I can safely not tell him, since he lives in a different city.. but, I'm planning to ask his fiance to teach me to sew so I can make their clothing.. so.. He's going to learn of them. Perhaps I just won't tell him the price.. but I doubt that's going to work.. he's a craftsman himself, I'm sure he'd manage to guess the prices I've paid. So.. It's probably going to be me turning up holding a large doll and showing it to him and fiance. "Look I got a pretty doll that I enjoy, I want to learn how to sew." Perhaps not such childish wording but.. yeah.. then just tune out the lecture.

Basically same for my grandmother.. though after her dad might already know to expect a doll to accompany me to visit. xD

 

I was terrified of telling my mother, personally. She's very... domineering/overbearing, and she objects strongly to how I spend my money. I thought if she heard I spent $200 on a doll, she would flip - as much as she loved the doll I already had, he was a gift, so that was a whole different story. Luckily, I don't live with her anymore, so I had the relative luxury of telling her over the phone and knowing that the worst she could do was yell at me (which is still a Big Deal to me because of my anxiety issues and history, but it's better than having her in my face about it).

Unfortunately, I didn't get to plan out how to tell her about it - it slipped. I was talking to her about the dolls, and which ones I liked best, and so on, and she started asking questions. She was asking which one it was I liked, and sort of leadingly... I thought she was going to offer to help me buy the one I wanted! So I had to tell her, "I already ordered her, actually." And true to what I thought, she freaked when I told her how much she had cost. Sigh.

Quick thinking saved the day, though. I quickly cut in and told her how I was paying for all of my expenses just fine, and that I wasn't breaking the bank to pay for the doll and that I would be just fine. I told her that it was my money and I wasn't spending it so frivolously that I wouldn't be able to pay for the things I need. That calmed her down, and in the end she told me that the only condition of her being okay with my getting Kazuki is that I send her pictures when she gets here.

So it turned out okay, despite my nervousness. Actually, my mum is even okay with my getting more dolls now, as long as I can afford it and such. (This surprised the hell out of me - she usually hates when I spend any money at all.) She thinks they're gorgeous, and since she refuses to spend the money to get one for herself, I think she's kind of living vicariously through me and my dolls.

My advice, then: Be clear that it's your money and that you haven't drained your bank account for the doll, and that you're being perfectly responsible. Tell them how much you love the doll(s) and that they mean a lot to you. Hopefully they'll understand.

 

I said "Mom, look at these dolls~ they average $500 a piece."

she said "Jesus christ... for a doll?"

I said "Yeah..... so... I bought one." The colour kind of drained from her face, until I reassured her that I had bought a less expensive one, and then she was cool with it. I am sure I will buy a more expensive doll in the future, and she will throw a fit - because she sees it as a "waste". But I'll deal with that when that day comes.

I can always just bring up up the 3456457 robots my dad has, and how much money he's "wasted" on them..

As long as the money is yours and you aren't in dire need of some necessities, just reassure your mom that you're fine in the financial department, and it was your decision.

 

Well, since I got my first doll as a X-mas gift, there wasn't any problem.

But now I'm saving for another and...ehm...my parents won't be happy...sooo...I don't really know how to tell them. Maybe something like: "Hey, mum, dad I saved for a doll and I'm gonna buy it no matter what you say. So make up with it :mwhaha :wigle "
That will be really interesting...if they don't kill me first

 

I just get frustrated because people treat buying a doll like it's coming out of the closet or something. It's an expensive luxury item. Your parents are all right, you probably SHOULD be saving for a car or a laptop or to move out of the house etc etc etc. I SHOULD be putting money in savings instead of buying dolls. One of the prices of living with your parents is getting to hear their opinion on things whether you like it or not.

That said, even when I did live with my parents, as long as I was spending my own money I didn't feel the need to present all major purchases for audit. Sometimes my mom gets on my case (gently) when she visits along the lines of "How many dolls do you need anyway?" but I brush it off. It's not really her business and I know it.

It's bothersome to me that "revealing" dolls to parents or significant others is regularly presented as some kind of crisis along the lines of coming out of the closet or having some dread disease. I don't see why there needs to be some big reveal anyway (I just bought a doll, I didn't tell my boyfriend because he doesn't care), and even if some "disclosure" has to happen, I'm REALLY CONVINCED that if people would stop treating it like a huge, life-altering event, the people being told would also not treat it like a huge, life-altering event. Unfortunately there is very much a feedback loop here of "Dolls are life-altering and people who are not doll people will never understand" and "when I get my doll everyone will PANIC AND FREAK OUT because omg I bought a DOLL aren't I SO WEIRD", so that's how everyone seems to treat it.

 

My mom may think I'm crazy for spending my money on the things I do, but as long as my bills are getting paid and I'm paying for them myself she leaves it alone. I'm lucky though, even if she thinks the stuff I buy is weird (I used to wear EGL before this haha) she's always been very supportive of me because I am my 'own person'... and her motto is I'm the one getting weird looks not her, so why does she care? XD So I've been very forthcoming with my doll purchases ;D

Also totally agree with chibaraki for most cases - I don't make a big deal of my 'weird' or 'expensive' hobbies so other people around me don't tend to.

 

I showed my mum pictures of them and spoke about them for a few months and then one day one turned up on the doorstep. ( I'd bought it). Her reaction wasn't great but I tried not to make a huge fuss over it and over time shes come to like them. Nothing dramatic by any means.^^;