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How do you approach "refining" a BJD collection?

Feb 14, 2021

    1. I have a lot of doll-related anxiety personally, so I understand where this is coming from. When my last doll is home I'll have 26 in total, and I get STRESSED by that number. That said, I have almost no desire to buy anymore. I've got 23 now I think, and I'm waiting on Vitaleny/Maya and Aleasha.

      There'll be one spare girl that I bought on a whim, and I'm sure I can find a character for her, but that'll be everyone. A few folks are waiting on bodies, but I'm really happy with the representation of characters in my collection. I feel very close to them all, and I don't wan to sell anyone, but I constantly think about it.

      I guess it's sort of like "who am I to try to own and keep all these dolls?" I don't really know. It's irrational - a bit like feeling trapped because most of them are naked and bald and haven't got all the things, which is silly really, but anxiety.
       
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    2. Thank you everyone for your great advice and for sharing your experiences. I lost my computer for a week (a cat took a bite of the top corner of the screen and the entire screen went black :...() but now that it is back I can properly respond.

      @Teddy
      I think you are absolutely right, Teddy. I did sell a few bears and a couple off-topic dolls, and I think now I could go through wigs and the like to see what it is I really love versus what I feel ho-hum about. Although I count them and think "OMG, HOW MANY?", I really do not know which doll I would part with at this juncture. I need to wait and really ponder which dolls, as someone said in reference to Ms. Kondo, "spark joy." You know, the ones I cannot wait to restring, clean and redress. Or, the ones I get giddy about photographing.

      @Gintsumi
      There is nothing weird about what you said at all. Some people really flourish with a lot of rules and structure. Me, on the other hand, well, I tend to rebel and become determined to break the rules just because I am difficult. That said, I think you are not harsh and not realistic when you say to stick to what it is that you really want. There is nothing wrong with compromises or changing one's mind, of course, but it really comes down to following the joy.

      @cian
      Thank you! I agree with me needing a breather. I can totally relate to you being overwhelmed at the over-twenty-dolls mark, and I can totally relate to the finding the dolls that spark joy as Ms. Kondo states. A lot of my refining, at first, was super easy. I had been able to acquire my ultimate grail dream doll, Volks Luna. And, not only that, but I could get twins. Once the two dolls arrived I knew a lot of dolls could go because, like you said, they did not spark joy. And, then, instead of selling one of them I decided to make one SD and one Dear SD simply because I love it so much. I did the same with the Victorique sculpt. It was when I kept being drawn to the same sculpts I realised which aesthetic truly inspired me and "sparked" the "joy." Now, I need to figure out how to have less of it, lol.

      @Facethefake
      Thank you! You are so right in that a break is required at this juncture. And, you are so clever! As someone who has been in the hobby since 2018, never never never never never compromise. Yes, it is nice to know there are dolls at many price points and price is not indicative of how much a doll can be loved and cherished. But, to purchase solely based on price is a huge mistake because it can lead to missed doll opportunities that truly inspire the heart.

      @Chehime
      I totally understand where you are coming from here. It is so incredibly hard. In my case, I noticed there were dolls I did not enjoy playing with as much. I would look at the dolls I absolutely loved and adored and then look at a less loved one and feel this, "oh, I should play with you." It was almost a reaction based on guilt because I felt I should enjoy that particular doll more. And, that really affected how I enjoyed my dolls in a negative way. It started to become a chore rather than a joy.

      When you are ready, you will find what works for you. Good luck! You got this.

      @Ice Mutt
      You are so smart to approach it like this, and you are so lucky some characters have faded as that should make it easier. That said, it is still tough. I do not know if this is true for you or not, but I found nostalgia really influenced me when letting go of dolls. It is one thing to know the doll is from a previous version of the self, but it is also comforting to have that sense of nostalgia within a doll as well. There are memories there. One doll, for instance, I took it to Tenshi no Sato every month for a year and even too Dolpa. Another, I recall taking photos up in trees and at temples and in gardens. Those memories, however, could not justify me keeping those dolls. I finally had to tell myself that I needed to enjoy dolls now and tomorrow. The past is gone. And, the dolls I enjoyed were ones that brought me joy then, and they served their "doll destiny," so to speak. It was only right to let them go so they could continue to fulfil their "doll destiny" and make others happy, too.

      @thedarkeststar13
      Your collecting style is so intriguing for me! I have never restricted my doll looks because I perceive my dolls as my canvases for doll restyling, so they are never the same all the time. And, interestingly, I actually refined by focusing on the aesthetic I love the most which means all my dolls share a similar look.

      But.

      I have seen all my dolls in person before adopting them. All of the dolls are beautiful, but there is an "it" factor within the sculpt itself that needs to draw me in.

      That all said, I am fascinated with your approach. It is really wonderful. And, I totally agree with you about the sparking of creativity or inspiration. That is so important.

      @Soenatte
      Thank you! I agree. It is time to stop, at least for now. I would like fewer dolls, in general, but I cannot force that to happen. It will happen with patience. Ultimately, I need to keep the dolls that give me that warm feeling and inspire me to play. And, only time will tell if there are dolls now that simply do not accomplish that and, you are right, it needs to be on a doll by doll basis.

      Congratulations on refining your collection and on Wisp! He sounds like he is fulfilling his doll destiny as dolls should, in my opinion, and it is so beautiful that your collection is so very personalised.

      @Teruchan
      Thank you for sharing your feelings and please know you are not alone. It can get to be a lot, especially when the dolls need a lot of work done to them. When all your dolls are home you will know what to do to best help you enjoy them. I totally relate to your situation and hope you will find your way to peace.
       
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    3. I also would recommend taking a brief pause to reflect before making any larger decisions.

      I had a bit of a wild ride this past year, where for some reason every doll I ever wanted since 2009 came up for sale. It was, unfortunately, likely due to the pandemic causing people to need to sell, but I found myself buying a LOT of dolls. I went from having 6 BJDs to 34(?) in a 12-month span. This period of rapid acquisition definitely has given me pause. About half of these new additions were dolls I had wanted for over a decade, so I knew they were going to be in my "forever" collection. Others were impulse buys or bought at a good deal that I couldn't pass up. Some of the impulse buys have already come and gone, which is a lesson to me. I like to buy a doll and keep it for a long time, so realizing right away that they weren't for me was kind of frustrating, and made me angry at myself for buying it in the first place. I think a lot of us can fall into the "too much, too fast" trap and then feel like we need to narrow our focus back down.

      I collect other off-topic dolls and have collected them for the same amount of time I have been into BJDs. I often find myself going through "cycles" in my collecting, where I focus on one collection very heavily, and then shift back to another collection in a loop. There is one collection that I have not felt passionate about for a while, and have been going through a very similar refinement process to what you're describing. I practiced the "hideaway" method with them and it worked wonders. I legitimately forgot I even had some of the ones I hid away, which was very eye-opening for me. I ended up selling some of those that I had hidden away after keeping them hidden for a few months, to really sit on the decision. The proceeds from those sales helped me buy some of my grail BJDs, so it helped me kind of refine two collections at once. I have not looked back on any of those sales and regretted my decision, but I think I gave myself ample time to think it over first.
       
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    4. @elphsnt I can't say I have a huge amount of nostalgia for the ones that are near the bottom of the list. My oldest doll will be staying and that's about as close as I get to nostalgia, but I also enjoy having him around.
      The closest thing to it is that one of them was really a grail doll doll for me early on in the hobby that I was able to get on a re-release some four years after the initial release, plus other parts that worked with that specific doll that I had really liked. I can't pose her, I can't get her on a stand properly, I can't get clothes that ever work for her. She's beautiful and I love her design and at the same time I hate that I can barely do anything with her. I've kept her for years hoping to get some of that "spark joy" like when I was waiting for her, but I feel a lot of disappointment trying to work with her. My only hesitancy has been just how hard she'd be to replace, but the longer she's been on the "out of sight" the less I'm concerned about it.

      @I<3MySD I think you make an excellent point with the pandemic causing a lot of sales. Some certainly are due to folks needing money or due to buying a few too many dolls over the course of it and needing space.
      On a different pandemic-related note, simply because I've been in my home office working for this whole thing, I've realized how much stuff I have in here. It's fairly organized too, but for example there's a single set of books taking up an entire shelf that I have no plans on returning to. So there's a lot of culling going on across all my hobbies.
       
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    5. @I<3MySD It sounds like there is a bit of "doll destiny" at play in your situation as well as the whole pandemic-related selling. But, as @Ice Mutt mentioned there are also a lot of people culling, in general, so to reduce all the stuff they have. It is only natural to re-evaluate and clear out the clutter. I indeed plan on holding off doing anymore selling. It has been a slow reduction over years at this point, but I feel like what my head and heart want are currently at an impasse. So, I will wait for the two to battle it out and come to a decision. On another note, however, congratulations on adding so many forever dolls to your collection! I understand how tempting it is to want to get a "good deal," but I have learned that it is not worth it anymore. That said, it is nice to see and handle the dolls and better hone in on what it is that one finds inspiring in a doll, too.

      @Ice Mutt It sounds like your doll may need to be restrung, but I am only familiar with Volks doll design. I find with a lot of the earlier dolls that stringing is key, especially with the early MSD bodies. That said, if it is another company, it could require restringing and perhaps some sueding or even those little plastic discs placed in the joints (Volks calls them "kips"). If the doll is not something that works for you, though, it is time to let her go, but only you can know if/when that will occur. I wish you luck with it.
       
    6. Im pretty picky with dolls. My dolls have to invoke a character. I see a lot of limited doll releases as impulse temptations. They’re pretty but not meaningful in anyway. If I just lived like that, I’d be a doll hoarder. I think for me, my limit is 10 dolls. 10th one being the Ultimate Volks Kasumi bought 2nd hand effectively banning me from every buying from Volks again and she’s extremely expensive as well. I have 5 so far. Another rule I have for myself is that I will not sell my dolls. It’s a way to make sure I buy wisely and it makes me feel good that the doll has a home and is not unwanted. It also helps to get a quality outfits and pro faceup for your dolls. They become high quality dolls. I think people have a higher tendency to regret a purchase because they’ve procrastinated too long on developing a look for their blank doll and the concept is either forgotten or your tastes have changed. While my Sophie was awesome in her pink house theme. She was also great as an individual doll for me.

      I actually do have one doll is a bit of a “trendy doll of the time” impulse buy and he’s my Esthy Peroth. At the time, he was amazing. But now that I’m older, he’s OK. He represents a character for me but I can honestly tell you there are newer better sculpts out there today that represent my OC. Im too lazy to reshell him, I keep him because he is a doll I saved up as teen to buy on my own so he does represent me in some meaningful way.
       
      #26 Ephemeral_Dream, Feb 25, 2021
      Last edited: Feb 25, 2021
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    7. I wish that was the issue. Most of mine are restrung regularly and have silicone discs added if needed. It's a fantasy parts problem. She's got the Soom Vesuvia scorpion tail, which has been amazing and terrible at the same time, it's like having a small MSD's worth of resin (it's very heavy) attached to the backside of an SD doll who still has fairly dainty feet. Nevermind the issues in dressing her.

      But it's part of why I have a lot of pause in removing her from my collection because it wouldn't be an easy thing to replace.
       
    8. THAT sums up the entire problem with my collection. Replacing any of them would be a nightmare. Also, most of those that I WOULD part with will never earn much. I'd never make anything close to what I spent on them. So there is little incentive to sell. Which has lead to a paralysis in selling while I continue to slowly buy more.

      I think I'd feel better if I knew they were going to a "forever" home. But that's also a ridiculous notion for an inanimate object.
       
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    9. That's not ridiculous at all. When you love something as much as you love a BJD, you put a little bit of your soul into it.
       
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    10. The individuality/work I've put into mine certainly makes it harder, which is why I've tried to focus on the ones I spend a lot of attention/time on.
      It's been way easier for my husband and I to go through our (shared) board games and refine to what we actually like than it is to decide on the dolls, which have been much more personal.

      Interesting, I came across an old article on literally "Refine Your Collection" which was in reference to surveyor's tools, but the general idea can be applied elsewhere and the author makes some great starting points and other things to consider.
       
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    11. For me, when I refine anything, I always start with a number. How many of this collection can I reasonably keep up with? How many dolls do you think you can have that you can connect with or keep up with? When refining down to that number, you can start with which ones do you connect with more? Which ones do you think will do better in a new home?
       
    12. I just read the article and I *love* it <3 Thanks for the link, it's been helpful to know we, dolly folks, aren't the only ones with such issues :)
       
    13. For me, refining is a lot about feel or vibe and a little difficult to explain my decision making because of that, but I will try. It's something I think about a lot when it comes to collecting, really. I try to be very careful of what I add and let go. Generally, a doll just being cute or cool looking is not enough for me to want it or keep it. I don't keep dolls very long that I set up with an outfit, wig and eyes and feel that it is complete. I get bored. It's the ones I always want to buy more for, that look good in nearly everything I get for them, that I hang onto. Similarly though I try to recognize when a doll is not working and no different style wig will fix that and let that doll go before putting too much effort into it. I've also had some dolls that I've loved for years but then, sometimes suddenly, realize I've grown past. I try not to let my past attachment keep me from letting them go when my tastes change.
      That article makes a lot of good points, @Ice Mutt. Thanks for sharing it. I agree with much of it but not on a few things. It seems heavily focused on the collection display looking museum-ready which, tbh is the type of display I tend to go for but, for something like dolls can come off as a little soul-less and jarring if it's too sparse. Both having dedicated space and tailoring my collection to fit nicely in that space is something I found to be really important in how much I enjoy my collection though or how much it stresses me out. I don't believe gifts should be exempted from culling, either.
      One thing I try to do is recognize types and not have dolls overlap in type or style. For example, while I don't build or shell characters with my dolls, if I have 2 dolls that have seem to exude similar personality or look best in the same clothes style or colors, I need to choose only one favorite to fill that space in my collection. At the same time, I want all my dolls to fit and feel cohesive together. Currently, all my dolls are from the same company, same size scale, with faceups in styles that aren’t too drastically different. It's kind of a nebulous thing and I doubt anyone who would look at my collection would get the feeling of fitting together yet standing on their own that I feel when I see my dolls but I've managed to keep my collection fairly small over the years by trying to have at least some sort of loose rule system of what or how I collect. I also do the pack-away method to assess my feelings on anything I'm unsure of.
       
      #33 Nell, Mar 4, 2021
      Last edited: Mar 5, 2021
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    14. This is really interesting and helpful! Thank you for your perspective. It's given me some ideas on how to START to look at my collection.
       
    15. @Chehime I’m glad you find my post helpful. :chibi I hope you can find some ways to be more content with your collection.
       
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    16. Started looking at my collection and writing down which ones I like to dress up. And then which ones I never get out. And also TRYING to be OK selling gifts! Which is super hard for me! Some will stay for sentimental reasons! But I just started! And there is a doll I want to buy and I am waffling like crazy while I reconsider EVERYTHING! Arg!
       
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    17. As somebody who tends to jump into buying dolls with my heart first and my head second, I can definitely agree with anybody on this thread that's advertised patience or a break. I haven't been in the hobby for long, but I've already made impulse buys (let me tell you, BJDs are the world's most expensive "retail therapy" lol) and then regretted it when the doll came home.

      When thinking about whether or not I want to keep dolls, I try writing about them! I try to think of my dolls in terms of poetry. I have a Minifee Hwayu, for example, that I could go on and on about the delicate sweep of her snowy lashes and the way her hair turns to starlight in the sun. It would be super easy for me to write a love letter to her, and, seeing as she's one of my grails who I love endlessly, maybe that makes sense.

      On the other hand, I have a Minifee Maya who is by all accounts absolutely gorgeous, but she doesn't spark any creativity within me. Yes, I could definitely write something about her, but I'd probably have to drag it out of me and it wouldn't have that easy flow.
      I think it's not only important for your dolls to make you happy, but they should inspire you in some way or form as well.
       
    18. I have recently started downsizing my collection and have been giving "refinement" some thought. I attribute this need for change in my hobby somewhat to nesting instincts, as I'm currently pregnant and due in June, so my priorities as a person and as a hobbyist have shifted quite a bit. I try not to set hard limits on myself about anything, including dolls, as I happen to be well aware that I'm full of poop and will bust my own limits if the desire so strikes. So, with that in mind, how did I decide who to sell?

      Ultimately, I took a few pages out of the Konmari handbook. Does this doll continue to spark joy? I should note that this, for me, is different from liking a doll. I've always liked all of my dolls, but that doesn't mean that they all spark the same creative reflex in me. My gauge is that if I look at a doll and I like them, but the lingering thought of "I could get this much for them on the secondhand market and use that money for x..." plays in the back of my head, then away they go. If I can't imagine myself ever changing their clothes/wig ever again, then I send them onward. I thrive on having a few dozen creative outlets and I know that when I'm inspired by a doll, I'll sit for hours and shop around online for clothes, or plan out faceups, or think of props I would like in order to take photos. If a doll is just there to be aesthetically pleasing and nothing else, then it just isn't worth it to me to keep it.

      I took a vastly different approach to BJDs when I first started collecting and accumulated several that, while pretty, ultimately just took up space and collected dust. I started collecting Blythes in college and noticed an immediate difference between the way I approached each hobby - BJDs were buy buy buy, then do nothing with them, while my Blythe wishlist and purchase list was carefully curated and I felt inspired by each and every one, even if I didn't play with them for weeks or months at a time. It's really made me slow down and reconsider how I handle BJDs as a whole and where my collection should go from here.
       
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    19. I'm finding it extremely hard to refine my current collection. I didn't even want a collection to begin with. x__x

      I love all my dolls very much and they all trigger something creative for me. The problem is that I just don't have the time and money to spend on all of them anymore. I have a young son that deserves the attention far more than something inanimate.

      As a European citizen it's very hard to obtain dolls without paying a hefty custom fee. Therefore selling a doll is almost always at a loss and getting it back or replacing it is always going to be very expensive. I regret selling dolls but I notice I am not regretting it enough to buy them back. It's a rather conflicting feeling.

      I'm still looking for a proper method to 'refine' my collection. I've noticed I'm getting hoarding tendencies. I've bought many doubles and spare parts 'just in case'. I think I need to try and be more relaxed about the dolls I love and stop hoarding secondary ones just for their parts. It doesn't help that it's not possible to replace broken parts for some out of production dolls. Something needs to happen though because the dolls are seriously starting to take over the house. It doesn't help that the SO is an actual collector and enables me even more.

      Time to get far very critical about what enters and leaves the house! :eusa_naug

      @Thespian Congratulations on your pregnancy. I wish you and your family all the best. June is an awesome month to be born in! (I'm a June girl that birthed a July boy. We couldn't be further apart personality-wise. It's very invigorating.)
       
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    20. I love the dolls and all my collections. I try to be super selective when choosing my dolls (sometimes unsuccessfully). My tastes run fairly eclectic and thus my collection of 22 dolls is now from many companies. Five dolls were representations of my 5 grandchildren. Creepy? I have moved on from that notion as I now want to create their own style after having them for awhile and the kids are just growing up so fast anyway. I want to have several dolls that can cosplay in my favorite geek worlds (Star Trek, Stargate SG-1, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Jane Austen, etc.). I recently just purchased dolls I felt would fit in with my earth mother persona (Native American & wolves being the themes). Sometimes the names of the dolls attract me. I have been tempted by impulse buys and have let them sit for a few days and then changed my mind (thus saving $$ for something I really want). This is the only way I have been successful in not just buying everything I feel is beautiful. I think soon I will be letting go of the bigger dolls as I just don't have room for them. Life has been chaotic these past 2 years with my father passing, my recent surgery, the Rona/Delta/Wu, work and so much more that I have felt just lost in paring down or refining all my collections. Time gets away from me and I become overwhelmed and stressed out by all the clutter. Sooner rather than later I will have to set them free again.
       
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