How do you get over not bonding with a doll

I'm having this same issue with one of my dolls that I've had for a few years now. The way I bond with my dolls is by taking lots of photos and developing their characters. If no matter what you do you can't bond with your doll then the best option is to sell her and buy a doll that you can share a bond with. I hope that you can bond with her though, she's a beautiful sculpt!

 

I try role playing and/or writing for my doll. Take pictures. Sew for them. Redo the faceup, eyes or wig if it feels "wrong". If that STILL fails, they get sold, usually.

I'm not sure that wiping the faceup would depreciate the value. It might on a limited doll with a limited faceup, but in general, I doubt it. Some people might pay more for a really nice faceup, or one by a famous artist, but I never would. It doesn't make a difference to me if the doll is blank, has an amateur faceup, or has a stunning faceup by a famous artist worth $300.....it's not worth anything to me, because I'd be wiping it anyway to fit my own character. I guess that just depends on the buyer, but if you think it's just the faceup that's holding back your bonding, I think it would be worth it to try repainting her.

 

I agree. Unless the face-up looked like what I wanted for my character it wouldn't be staying, so I wouldn't necessarily pay more for a face-up.

If your way of bonding involves doing face-ups, give it a go and weave her into your fae world It's nice to see Chloe looking different too, there are lots of Chloes with standard face-ups around, so it's a refreshing change to see Chloe looking different!

 

I agree with Cloaked, I write little stories for my doll, it helps me bond with them. Sitting them next to me while I look at wigs and clothes for them helps, too. Maybe you could work in her not fitting in with your fairies into the story? She's an intruder in their territory?

I hope you are able to work something out!

 

I sold an ch little friar back in the day because I couldn't bond with him, but I was newer to the hobby back then and didn't have a whole lot of experience with customizing on my own or creating new characters for my dolls. Now I do what I have to do to make them mine. Chloe is definately on my list of dolls i would like to own but at the current moment i have no character she could portray so she will stay unpurchased until i can come up with something. I would take tons of pictures of the current face up she has then wipe it and start over. I did that with my volks myu Maggie a few months ago and she had that face up for almost ten years but it just wasn't how I envisioned her anymore. If you still have second thoughts about wiping her face up why not put up a WTT in the marketplace your Chloe for their Chloe? I don't think removing the face up will depreciate the value. Most people buy a doll for the sculpt more often than the face up on it.

I say make her your own and wipe the face up. You could even deepen the investment by making a project journal of her change from old elf to new fairy to help your bond with her. ( if you're into that sort of thing. )

 

It sounds like you are kind of in a 'catch 22'? I would say find a way to love her as she is (I totally understand not bonding with a doll- it's very difficult!) or you let her go and take the money you would get from selling her and buy a doll with a face-up you don't mind wiping.

I mean, You could have dolls that you actively play with and ones that you display if your collection becomes large enough. Maybe after a time you would become more comfortable with altering her according to your needs?

 

You say you "fell in love" with this doll, yet cannot bond with her now, maybe you just need to figure out what about her actually made you smitten in the first place. Just because the face-ups on these dolls can be changed doesn't mean you must change them every time. I fall for a doll's face first, and don't change any of the painted features unless there's damage to them over time. I do often change wigs, eyes, clothes, and just enjoy playing with them. Sometimes their characters reveal themselves to me when I see the doll online, and other times it happens when I debox them for the first time. Then there are those dolls I have that just look pretty to me sitting there and don't get a huge character, or back story attached to them until much later...sometimes years later. Good luck in what ever you decide to do.

Juli DC

 

As a total newbie to the hobby myself, I am not yet comfortable or completely supplied to be able to do any modifications just yet so I resorted to just spending time with the particular doll. Since I role play and write I have developed a comfortable ease when it comes to bantering/ talking with characters. Sometimes, it will be as simple of just curling up on the couch with him seated on my leg, reading or watching tv or dressing and undressing him to figure out what he likes. When I sew, or craft for him, he sits close by and watches me do my thing.

If you think you would regret selling her head, I would wipe the face up and do what you need to do. I'm sure that she will be stunning!

 

I happened to have the exact same problem with one of my dolls... I purchased a Pukipuki Ante and she is ADORABLE the sculpt is great and everything but when I got her... She didn't fit into my doll family. I went so far as in your situation to wipe her face and completely changed her look and everything! I even have my little project journal here on DOA about her... Unfortunately even though I wasted all my time and effort on her, She still didn't seem right for me and my doll family. Unlike my other dolls I wasn't as excited about her and in the end I was going to sell her. However my story has a happy ending. My husband had loved her ever since she came out of her cute little box, even after all the changes and everything she went through he still loves her. So when he learned I was going to sell her he got really sad and so I asked if he wanted to keep her... And now my husband is in the hobby! I re-did the little pukipuki's face-up and he's now into the hobby. So I guess what I'm saying is if you put time and effort into her and she still isn't what you are looking for, or wanting out of her. Someone out there will be more than happy to have her!! I just hope you don't have to deal with the disappointment I did after all the effort I had put into trying to make this doll part of my family.

 

I wouldn't call it "bonding" in my case (sorry, I somehow don't like that word ...). I either like a doll enough to get it or don't. And when I receive it, I either like it enough to keep it or not. Sometimes, it takes some work to get a doll to look the way I want it to. Sometimes, I do my own face-ups. Some dolls, I like more than others. Some I'd be willing to part with, others - no way, José! Those I can't get myself to like at least to a certain degree, I end up selling again. Not a big deal, really, as long as my favourites are staying right there, on their small wooden bench.

 

Aztrid I totally get what you're saying. I have received dolls that I was Underwhelmed by when they arrived. This is intensified when I compare the feeling I have with the ones I really love.
And like Zura, I am shipping them off to my daughter who is excited to get them and now is into the hobby.

Re-homing a doll to someone who truly loves it is a way of giving it new life. May sound corny but it beats just storing the poor thing in a box which is what I do to the less fortunate of my crew.

 

I know how you feel. I purchased a Mei not to long ago. She was my first BJD. I didn't have to wait very long for her to arrive but when she got here I just wasn't as happy with her as I thought I would be. I keep her around a month thinking I might fall for her but it just didn't happen. So she was sold to someone who I knew was going to love her! I'm so happy that Mei got the home she deserved and I finally got the BJD I should have gotten in the first place 5Star Emma. I also made someone else very happy. In the end your the only person who can decide if you like her enough to keep her. If not find someone who will love her as she is.

 

^This. Bonding sounds so vague. Either a doll gives me sparks of creativity, or it doesn't. When it doesn't, it needs to go. Sometimes I have to get used to a doll.
You said you fell in love with this doll when you first saw it. What was it that you liked about her? Was it her face, her style, the editing of the pictures? Perhaps it is a facial feature that you love so much of her.

Before wiping her face-up, try different eyes, wigs and clothes first. If that doesn't help: do what you normally do to 'bond' with your doll: give her a new face-up and write her into your fey storyline.

Don't worry about her selling price. It usually doesn't really matter if a doll comes with the default face-up or not.

 

Some would consider this extreme, I guess, but ... I'd hunt the MP for another faceplate. One on which you can do your own face-up. I too feel like a doll really becomes "mine" when I do the face-up, but at the same time, professional face-up artists do a much better job than I do, and I appreciate the aesthetic value of a professional, or a very different, face-up. If I feel the need for it, I buy a second head or faceplate so I can have it both ways. Of course that means that I am really sure that I love the sculpt and that it isn't going anywhere. If you're not sure of a sculpt, it is obviously quite pointless to spend twice the money on a head. But personally, I have never "not bonded" with a doll.

 

I bond with my dolls through photoshoots and just spending time with them. Sometimes we’ll nap together or when I’m working on the computer, Finch likes to sit next to me.

 

I don't usually battle to bond with my dolls because I buy the ones I want.

 

It's not a case of buying something you don't want, the poster already said they fell in love with her. The point is when they arrive you just don't connect to them as well as you thought you were going to. I happens a lot in this hobby, I never really understood it until it happened to me.
I fell in love with the pictures and when she arrived she didn't look very much like them in person, also to make things worse I didn't have the right eye or wig color for her and had to wait two months as it was too near Christmas you splash out on treats. Having said that, I did have to wait three months for the doll as it was a problematic order. :/ the odds were just against us from the start.

I'd suggest making a whole new character or trying different wig combos 'til something clicks. Failing that, seller her! There's no shame in it, someone else gets to doll of their dreams and you get money to spend on a doll you'll fall in love with again, in person this time. good luck!