How do you restrain yourself from buying everything on your wish list?

Jul 7, 2020

    1. So I'm new to the hobby and there's a bunch of things that I want to get. Problem is that in a month (I started getting in the hobby in June), I believe that I already spent around 1.5k. It's funny because I have nothing yet with me to show as of today. Money thrown to the wind.

      I'm starting to realize that I am getting a bit addicted to browsing the internet for more things to get and I want to buy them before they sell out/retire. Because of the quarantine, I found my new passion which is sewing tiny clothes for dolls and I use that as an excuse to buy more stuff. I sew because it keeps my mind busy and relaxed.

      I work overtime until late hours, my mom is not doing well mentally. I know that I have a tendency to buy a lot especially if I am going through rough times (like now) but I need to realize that although it's fine to make extravagant purchases once in a while, I need to be more mindful of where my money is going and budget.

      I'm in no means broke right now because of the 1.5k, but if I continue down that path, I don't think it's healthy to get everything I want as quickly as possible and definitely not good for my wallet. I think it's the the novelty of this hobby and the deep rooted depression that is causing me to want to buy everything I like.

      I know that I must not be the only one.
      • x 16
    2. I have a terrible habit of talking myself out of purchases only for whatever I want to go out of stock :sweat I have so many doll outfits I want from Mandarake right now. I talk myself out of things by convincing myself they'll still be there whenever I'm ready, but clearly that hasn't always worked out for me haha.
      That being said, as long as a purchase isn't going to put you in the hole, I'm very much a subscriber of treating yourself here and there!
      To actually answer your question, I prioritize whatever will be sold out first. Is it one of a kind, or is it a secondhand item you have a hard time finding? Or is it something from somewhere like TTYA or nine9style that almost always restocks? I try to buy the former first and hold off on the latter.
      #2 cocobash1019, Jul 7, 2020
      Last edited: Jul 12, 2020
      • x 2
    3. You have to find a way that works for you to maintain the self control. If you know depression might make you buy everything bjd related, maybe you should avoid everything bjd related during those times.

      For example... Last summer I was really sick between meds and some sort of ptsd (basically I spent all of summer in hospital because of my seizures) I bought 3 dolls on fb. I have to say... I bought them in a moment of weakness, that week was rough and I was freaking out. Normally it takes me one month to buy a doll, because I put a lot of decision behind it.

      I don't regret those dolls, 2 of them were a deal and a rare find and one of them was super interesting and also a deal, but the fact is... I could have lived without them anyway. I'm trying to put away money and that accident almost jeoparidized my project.
      • x 2
    4. Don't worry we are all at the same boat, I was able to buy 7 dolls in a matter of 2 months .

      Did I regret it? Not really but I know I should be more smarter. But hey they bring us joy right?

      What I do now is I said to myself no more bjd until I got them all but knowing dollshe? He will let me save my wallet for 2 years for sure
      #4 BoyToy, Jul 7, 2020
      Last edited: Jul 7, 2020
      • x 2
    5. Being broke helps! One of the things I'm doing right now is just putting what I have together and looking for imbalances - like shoe colors that don't coordinate, wigs that are cute but not a match for the dolls, etc. And the more time spend playing with the actual dolls, I feel like I'm getting more out of it, and less like I should add more things.
      • x 2
    6. The fact that I wouldn’t be able to pay my mortgage and then my mum would kill me.
      • x 7
    7. Thanks everyone for answering. I know it would help control my spending habits If I had more financial responsibilities. I work full time at a good entry level salary but I still live with my parents. The only necessities I pay for are my car, gas and cell phone. My parents pay for all the food, internet, electricity and whatnot. I offered to help pay for my parents' mortgage but my dad refuses and wants me to save my money to purchase a nice apartment down the road and save enough for a down payment.

      Ever since I got a job, my spending habits have skyrocketed because I don't have to ask for my parent's permission if I can get x, y, z and being told ''no'' because of the price. I've known about BJDs since I was about 13, I've wanted to own some for a long time, but thought that they were too expensive and I would get into the hobby only if I won the lottery. The pandemic and state of the world really did a toll on me and I figured that life is too short to not get to experience what you want.

      I'm just exhausted from my job and my mom's condition and thinking about what I will do when my BJDs/accessories/craft items get there give me something to look forward to. That and animal crossing are the only things that make me feel happy for now.
      • x 3
    8. Poverty lol. But aside from having to save up for big purchases, I also have a general rule about purchase over 500 dollars where I need to wait six months before buying whatever it is to be sure I will still like it. It can go up to a year for larger sums, or tattoos. I tend to change tastes frequently so I want to be sure I'll like whatever I buy by the time I receive it.
      • x 2
    9. Short answer: I’m too broke to buy it all. Lol

      Long answer: money is tight and my work is still on temporary short hours. If I want to buy something, I have to sell something first. I don’t really own anything of value besides doll and video games, so I have to make the choice of which I want more: what I already have or what’s on my wishlist. I’ve been in the hobby over 12 years and have learned that if I have too many dolls (like over 13), I get overwhelmed and spread too thin and don’t enjoy them. Clothes are a different story, I’m kind of addicted to them. I tend to buy a lot more clothes and accessories than dolls, but again, I’m limited by funds and if I want to sell stuff.

      Usually, I put a ton of stuff in my cart and leave it for a few days or even weeks. If I still want it when I’m able to buy, I get it. If I’m no longer sure, I don’t.
      • x 2
    10. the only thing that stops me is money.
      if I had infinite money I would have already bought SO MUCH Stuff! lol

      as it is, I have a strict budget and that's all I can spend. it's a whole separate account from household funds so I am restricted pretty effectively

      But man it's hard. I try to tell myself rules, like, only buy a doll you have a concept for. But then I stumble upon a cheap secondhand doll and my finger slips <_<
      it's bad.
      • x 2
    11. I’ve been through this going on 10 years in the hobby. Not having much income has helped, but I still feel like I spend too much on dolls. Last year I went through my collection and sold off quite a few. I had decided I was NOT going to buy anymore bjds and just save my money. Then my income this year has picked up considerably and it has become a great temptation to buy, which I have. Three bjds this year already! With one more on the wishlist. The struggle is real.
      • x 1
    12. Oh I have a terrible problem with that as well, spend well over 2000+ on three dolls so far and I just started in March. Not to mention the clothes, eyes and hair I am buying for them. I told myself to calm down yet I'm eagerly awaiting the new feeple65 full set and dollnoize's envy to drop. I am pretty sure I have a problem with buying myself things when stress gets too much for me, and yet they make me quite happy and I'm not in the position to go broke with purchasing a few dolls. Long story short, if you don't spend money on much else like I do (I save up on food and other things a lot) then why not invest fully into what you enjoy? Do keep in mind that bills and personal health comes first of course.
      • x 4
    13. I always pay bills and put a little into savings, before I do doll stuff. I also do layaways 99% of the time.
      Even for limited dolls that catch my eye, I will wait a few days before I commit, because sometimes just thinking about it will show me that it was just an impulse and that they won't really fit into my collection, and the desire doesn't last.

      There are lots of dolls that I love, but I don't have to own them all... that's what I keep telling myself. xD
      The dolls I currently have on my wish list are pretty much my long term goals... I'm not in a hurry for any of them.
      Impulse buys are always a risk, though... next year I want to do a doll-buying hiatus so wish me luck I guess. :p
      • x 2
    14. I've always been poor, so I always think poor, even when I'm in a comfortable place financially. I grew up window shopping, I've learned to want many things...and be content seeing them from a distance. I use this mentality now, I browse dolls endlessly, thinking about which ones I don't mind waiting for. Then I wait. And when the time comes that I feel comfortable making the purchase, I do it. So far I've only the one doll in possession, and the other is yet to be shipped. Im building a list of dolls to purchase in the future, patiently waiting for the day I can bring them home~
      • x 4
    15. I basically am about to say the same thing as everyone else where not having the money to buy helps. Another thing I do is look at my collection pretty frequently to decide if I'm loving all my dolls or if some of them aren't quite fitting the mold. My husband has begun to refer to my tinies as a system and only those who can fit in my diorama fit the system. That has really helped me to see who really fits in here and who doesn't.
      • x 2
    16. While money is definitely a factor, what usually keeps me in check is a lack of space. Can't have a doll without somewhere to put it, right? Most of mine are 1/4 size for that reason, as they fit nicely into the single shelf I have allotted for them, and their accessories fit into a designated fancy box. If things can't fit into those spaces, I can't buy any more, that's the rule.

      ... Kinda bent it a little with a recent 1/3 purchase, but his accessories still fit in the box so...

      Another thing that helps is that the sculpts I want have been discontinued for ages and just finding someone who has one is nearly impossible, much less someone looking to sell. In the extremely unlikely event the company does a re-release I'd probably jump on it, admittedly, but I figure I have plenty of time to plunk money into savings for such an occasion without dipping into adulting funds.
      • x 1
    17. 1) Not enough money.
      2) Not enough space.
      • x 2
    18. Also the same case with money and space.... there's so much stuff I want to buy and maybe it helps if I look at all the doll stuff I already have and try to work with it first before jumping on other things, that was my advice from friends too is to focus on current dolls before falling for other ones that pop up XD
      • x 3
    19. I just got a job as well, and it is taking everything in me not to order another doll. My first BJD hasn't even gotten here. I have no financial responsibilities because I am in college but my tuition is being paid by my grandparents, and I still live at home. My car is fully paid off, so the only thing I'm really paying for is gas which, with my car being really efficient, I only have to fill up once a month and it is only 13 gallons.
      • x 4
    20. BJD self control can be really hard to manage haha! I find myself buying tons of small things and not realizing how quickly it adds up. I’m trying to focus on saving up for one thing that I want (it’s hard to find) so every time I think to buy something I remind myself that I need to wait until I find my grail. It doesn’t always work but it sure helps.
      • x 2