How Old is TOO Old?

I'm 26, so I'm kind of riding the fence between our younger and older groups, but I've come to learn that what you do is your business, regardless of what it is or how old you are. I honestly think it's really cool that we have so many members of differing ages! And as for my doll collecting, my mom tends to frown on how expensive they are, but then I also work and help my husband pay rent and other bills first, so we're not withholding daily necessities to fuel a hobby. I think that's what separates true maturity from childishness- there's nothing wrong with collecting anything, but it's important to take care of your necessities first, regardless of which age you happen to be.

 

I started collecting antique dolls at the age of 12, babysitting and cleaning houses in order to pay for them. I am now 54 and still "collect dolls", I have never been shy about it, and never ashamed. I am proud of my collection. I work very hard for my collection. I have moved on from antiques to ABJD's and have started my 15 year old granddaughter on the same path to happiness. She tells me her friends think she has a very cool Nana. Be proud collectors, we get to hold, play with and love some of the finest dolls made today. We do not collect baby dolls.

 

I don't think anyone is ever too old for something they enjoy. When my grandmother was 16 her mom told her she was too old for dolls, and yet now she has a wonderful collection of them, one of her favorites being the PukiPuki Ante we gave her last year for Christmas.

edit: sorry, couldn't figure out how to edit a quote in.
HoushiChan: You are seventeen and yet you think no one under the age of thirty should be able to collect ball-jointed dolls? May I ask why you are in this hobby? School has nothing to do with this hobby, except perhaps the cost of it, and age has nothing to do with maturity. There are 40 year olds I wouldn't even let touch my dolls, and yet I trust my 8 year old sister to handle them gently, and she does.

I fail to see why you care about what people play with, either. I'm in high school and my Monster High dolls are some of my favorite things. People do stunning custom work on them, and my sister and I play games with them still, so I also don't see how they would automatically become "decorations" after you turn 12. They are a really fun way for my sisters and I to connect, and the stories and histories we make up for them are as elaborate some some BJD backstories that I've heard.

How would the way someone uses their doll change what is an "acceptable" age for them to be in the hobby in your mind? I am honestly curious.

 

As one of the older members, I feel the opposite. The older you get, the less pressure you get from people to conform to societal expectations. That seems a very "high-school" way of thinking. (And I'm not putting down high-school age people at all, I just mean, there seems to be less pressure to fit in the older you get).

 

For the younger members: do you feel that people over a certain age should have moved on from doll collecting? You know this reminds me of a tumblr confession where someone made the remark that they needed to "grow up" and get rid of their dolls so they could balance their job and the kids they want to have...

It's a hobby, and age should not even come into play, unless it means that after years in the hobby you have learned and know much more, and your idea of play has changed. Now this by no means has to happen, but it can be a possibility. You can bring your favorite doll to the grave with you at the age of 100-something, and it will make no difference to me. It means you had a hobby you enjoyed until the end.

For the older members: do you feel any pressure, internal or external, to "give up childish things" and devote your time and resources to "age-appropriate" pursuits (whatever those may be)? Well... I'm 21 and I already know some people that have that whole "aren't you a bit too old to be playing with dolls" syndrome... But part of being an adult is that I can spend my money on what I want, and people can think what they want and it be of no importance to me. I learned early to stop caring what people thought of me, anyways.

At what age (if any) does doll collecting become pathetic, suspect, or even sinister? Age should not even be considered a factor in this, and all I will say is that it's a ridiculous notion to think so.

 

How can age determine what people do with their time. Lots of people, all ages mind you, have collections or hobbies. And the way I see it, which could be wrong I am really new to all this but, this is more then a hobby, or just a collection. Because very few of us leave our dolls sitting in cabinets to collect new ones to go in with the others. Its a community. There's meetings and get together and artistic bits throughout. We use it as a creative outlet. Not all of us are the artists getting paid for our work but were still artists caught up in exquisite beauty. Theres so many facets to our dolls. And you cant turn to an artist and tell them they are too old or too young. You cant turn to a thimble or spoon or shot glass collector and tell them they are too young or old. So how can people try to tell us were two young or old for this. They simply cant. And if they are ignorant enough to try, just ignore them.

 

Ha! I could NEVER have afforded this hobby at a younger age! & the thought of having such expensive lovely things around when MY kids were young (were teenagers even) terrifies me (I know that other people have well-behaved children. Mine were unfortunately like me LOL)
I'm the crazy cat lady already, & a weird witch person, & other such epithets (old hippy...etc etc) Oh, & dirty old lady cause I love K & J drama (that would be flower boys...)
So the dolls are just a little blip on that horizon HA
Jenny Nemesis you get the prize for best quote I've read all year LOL

 

I'm going to join the others in saying this is a very awesome quote. My boyfriend thought so too.

And I agree with what most people say here. I don't think anyone is too old to collect or play with what they want as long as they take care of what they need to also. My boyfriend and I collect Legos together, I collect Monster High and getting into BJDs now, and my boyfriend collects action figures. We are 24 and 25. I don't see anything wrong with this as long as we pay our bills. We live alone, don't depend on others and support ourselves. I don't think it is anyone else's right to tell me what I can or cannot do with my spare money.

And neither of us plan on giving up everything when we have kids later in life. Taking a break, yes. Setting things aside for our children, yes. But quitting completely to become "mature", no.

I also am curious HoushiChan how you are 17 and think you should be older to have BJDs but are in this hobby? That doesn't make sense in my head.

 

I'm going to second what tiffanys said- I'm in a similar situation! I don't think that age should/does have any say in what you can or can't do- My boyfriend and I live alone- we're both 22 and are responsible for our own finances. We have many things that would be considered 'childish'- like my plush toys and figurines, and my partners 'nintendo character' collection. I know that some people I know do tend to think that dolls is a weird/immature kind of thing to collect, but I don't let it bother me.

I mean, really. It's perfectly normal and acceptable for a bunch of guys to sit and play Halo at 25, but a 22 year old girl can't have a doll? Some people have weird expectations ^_^

 

How can you ever be too old for something that brings you joy and happiness???

I love that I still feel like a child on Christmas when I get a new doll in the mail. This feeling is amazing and I hope I am still able to feel this way when I'm pretty old. A lot of people don't even know this feeling anymore and tell me it's childish. But I don't care, I'm busy being happy

 

I can help but imagine a balding 55-year old man flouncing off because "those Lotus guys are such eleeetists about their cars. They're all just hunks of metal, you know."

As for the topic at hand, I'm at the point in my life where I don't give a flying fig what anyone thinks of the things I collect, books I read, etc. People can assume whatever they want about my reasons for collecting. But the sad truth is that I have no desire to converse with a person willing to pigeonhole me so easily.

And I completely agree with the "mature/immature" obsession. It's kind of like how my much younger sister used to lord it over me as a teen when people thought she was older than me, but is very upset when people say the same thing now.

 

Oh, I think gamers get a lot of "oh, grow up!" judgements as well, just usually not from their immediate peer groups if they're under 30 (and without the opposite end of the spectrum stereotype waiting for them at the other end).


In general, I "get" how the 13-20 folks don't want to be seen as kids and the 40-60ish folks might be worried about being seen as little old ladies, but eh - people are going to think what they think. That's just life - there's no "too old"/"too young" for anything. You like what you like.

 

There cannot be an age limit for what you love, for what makes your life brighter and happier!!! NO LIMIT!

 

I don't think there IS a "too old" at all.

For me, most people started telling me I was "too old" for toys around puberty. So like 11-12 or so. At the time, I hid my hobby to "fit in"...then I got past it and don't care.

I got married at 25 and people started in on me again, saying I should "save the dolls for your children"....except I'm not HAVING children....which gets me some weird looks....I no longer care.

I haven't gotten any of the "sinister, creepy old doll lady" comments yet.....I hope I have quite a long time before that starts!

Though I do know an old lady (she must be in her 90s by now, I thought she was ancient when I was 6....) whose house was so full of dolls you couldn't sit down except in her kitchen. And as a teen, I was amazed by her collection! They weren't BJDs, but she had some very nice ones and I loved looking at them. I never once thought she was creepy or weird or "too old". She actually made me feel a lot better about my own age and hobby. So while some might call us weirdos, who knows? We might be helping some insecure teen or kid feel better.

 

nothing here

 

Actually, I think that many times, the older you are, the more you are able to relax and enjoy other things. A college/high school student has to endure the burden of school and work at the same time, but if you're thirty and have been out of school for a few years and acquired a good job with which you are comfortable, it's probably easier to make time for dolls. Older adults often have collections. Would you call a forty year-old man who collects cars immature because he isn't "prioritizing"?

Yes, of course, if you do not have time or the ability to share with dolls, then you should take care of more important things first, i.e. family and your career, but it's all about time management. If a person takes care of all of their responsibilities and has time left over, no one is too old for the hobby. End of story.

 

I think as long as you don't go into debt because of them then no age is too old. I'm 17,and certainly plan on continuing this hobby until I finally kick the bucket. xD I don't care what people may think of it,if I enjoy doing it then they can continue on their mary way before I give em' a few choice words. :3

 

I think the creepy doll lady stereotype only applies if the person has no social life. Otherwise anything is fair game. Age doesn't matter, really.

 

I'm gonna share a little story, one that has stuck with me and one that I think is relevant to the topic of age, the perception of the dolls as toys and being to old to "play" with them.

I worked for toys r us for several years (the good days), and in my day seen plenty of grandparents come in searching for that perfect toy or what have you; the women often with their husbands begrudgingly in tow. This one elderly couple came in, the grandmother needed to use the little girls room and so left her husband alone. In his time alone he lingered for a few moments not knowing what to do with him self; a grown man in a toy store. He happened upon a ball-bin in the center of the aisle, and after a moment he picked up a red one, bouncing the ball a few times with a content smile as if it was a treat he hadn't been allowed to do in years. You could just about see the memories on his face, like it was something he suddenly remembered he enjoyed doing. He sticks in my mind because, I would be very sad if some told me I had to stop playing and enjoying my self. No matter how young or old you are you should never forget how to play! Your never too old!