How to combat wavering feelings about your doll?

May 20, 2016

    1. I've been working on a doll and she is amazing, however I feel like I just don't love her as much as I should. She is currently bodyless and I've been working on trying to get her a body.

      A part of me thinks it's because I got her in the wrong resin color. I can't quite pinpoint my problem. I'm so in love with the sculpt but there's just something about her... Like I feel like I would love her more if I had purchased her in a different color? There's nothing inherently wrong with her resin color, but I feel like it's just not... Right. When I opened her, I was ecstatic. I don't know what happened.

      How do you guys combat these types of feelings? Maybe if I complete her, I might love her the way I had intended to? Do I hunt for her sculpt in a different resin color? How to cope? :...(

      Is there a thread similar to his? I'm not falling out of love with her (which there is a thread for). I'm just feeling like I made the wrong choice on the right sculpt? I don't know.
       
    2. I think it's really important to trust your gut. I know that can be hard though. Something that's worked for me, strangely, I don't really understand it but I'm passing it along since it did work, is just force yourself to stop thinking about it for a while. Put her away, don't look at her, try to get her completely out of your mind for a while. Put a little reminder for yourself to return to actively thinking about it in a week after completely not thinking about it and see how you feel then. Sometimes just letting thoughts settle in your subconscious helps, I guess.

      Other than that, I don't know how much I'd advise working more on her when you're not certain. It just makes things harder in the long run because then you'd be looking back and thinking, "But I put so much time, effort, and $$$ into her..."
       
    3. I think you should figure out what's wrong, and fix it. Don't give up if you love most things about her.

      Just today, a new wig for my Minifee arrived. I've had her since February, and not fully loved her yet, though I do really like her. At first, I thought it was because I got her in white skin and should have chosen normal. Then I thought maybe I didn't like her sculpt as much as I thought I did from her pictures. Or maybe it was her faceup. I changed it three times and it still felt wrong. I tried different clothing styles. I tried four sets of eyes. No luck. But today, I took her blond wig off and stuck a lavender one on and BAM! Instant love. I don't even feel the need to change any of those other things anymore. She just needed a better wig! I hadn't even considered that because I thought I wanted her to be blond!

      In another case, I had the wrong sculpt and color. I liked him at first, but over time, I felt the lips and nose were too thin, and the resin was too light. Each time I looked at him, I fell more and more out of love with him, but I still loved the character. I finally found the perfect sculpt with the perfect resin color, and I've loved him ever since.

      So...sometimes the doll is right, just needs a new look, and other times, the whole doll is just wrong. Either way, it can be fixed. There's no reason to feel guilty, this hobby is about customization, and you need to work on your doll until you are happy with the end result.
       
    4. Tastes change, opinions change. That's not unusual, or some kind of personal failing that you have to agonize over... Just sell the head you have and put the money towards getting another one in the color you prefer.
       
    5. @sno4wy I think that might be a good idea. I do leave her out and oogle at her once in a while, but maybe returning to her with a clean slate might be helpful. She is a pricey little girl and I don't want to give up on her.

      @CloakedSchemer I really hope something like that clicks for me~ I haven't really completed her or even picked out a wig for her. I'm hoping that once I put her onto a body and get everything in place, I will fall in love with her like I had expected to. It probably doesn't help that I am sooo picky about wigs and clothes. I do really love her sculpt though. There is nothing I would fix about her sculpt. I'm still thinking perhaps it might be her resin color...

      @Brightfires I'm not sure I'm ready to sell her though. I've grown some kind of twisted attachment to her even though she might not be the one. I mean, I've debated on purchasing her in another resin color just to have two of her for the heck of it. That just seems so greedy of me. @[email protected]
       
    6. I'd also say there's nothing wrong with having two versions of the same sculpt... I have a few pairs like that in my own collection... But, then, I'm very much of the collector mindset, which may or may not be the same approach you take to dolls. I'm not a "bonder" or anything like that.
       
    7. I have that feeling sometimes. I would wait it out, is my personal advice. I wasn't sure about my boy initially, but I've just fallen head over heels for him since. And my first girl makes me question if I should keep her sometimes (horrible, horrible poser!), but reshelling her seems a little too emotionally jarring right now. And more often than not its the style of the doll hat needs changing! Try a new faceup, make a new wig, and most important, get a body you love! I think she might work out in the end. ;)
       
    8. @Brightfires Now you're really making me contemplate on getting another one. I mean, what's the harm if I really love her sculpt? She can be a twin. Ahh.. DoA, you feed this money black hole so hard~ Haha. :lol:

      @sejadzak I am waiting for a perfect body. *coughfairylinefantasynotseahorsepartscough* I'll probably keep her for the time being and dwell on it a bit. I'm still working out her styling and her wigs, so I'm not knee deep into her, but I really want to love her.
       
    9. We are enablers. :lol:
       
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    10. It's amazing how that work, really. I had the exact situation with a doll I was actually starting to hate. Got the wig, and instantly everything changed. Dolls are weird.
       
    11. Oh wow, this just happened with me! I have an Elfdoll, my first BJD and after I got her I didn't like the way I thought I wanted her to be. And I changed her wig not too long ago, took off Dracula's and put it on her (I can't believe that's all it took) and *BAM* I finally saw it, saw her.
       
    12. I'm really hoping that a wig or an eye change will help... Worse comes to worst, just redo the faceup?

      I feel like this girl is going to give me lots of trouble. At least that, in a sense, is like bonding with your fussy resin child?
      Some of them are too spoiled though~
       
    13. How off is the resin you wanted from the color you got? My Dracula is white. Like...white white. For some reason I ordered him that way but didn't think he'd be so stark white. I airbrush him darker, also blushing helps a lot. Is there a way to use chalk to enhance the resin color you want?
       
    14. @Joy LaBelle I could airbrush her, but that would require investing in an airbrush. I'm not sure if I'm ready to invest in one though. My skills in doll customizing are pretty basic (for now), so I'm probably going to end up blushing her too orange or pink. I definitely would need to play around with her some more, but maybe after a break. She is making me think too much. :sigh
       
    15. Aww, yeah, take a break from her :hug:
       
    16. Take a break and try to work on something else for a bit. When you feel like you've emptied your head from her ordeal go back and revisit her. It might take some time but looking at her like a blank slate and starting fresh might just be the thing for you.

      I've had a similar story to share. Let me start by saying I really dislike Minifee Celine. Although I find the sculpt's individual features beautiful somehow there's something off-putting about the whole face to me. However, I really felt that with some (okay, pretty heavy) mods I could maybe grow to love the sculpt. So, I got a sleeping head, modded the nose, jawline, cheekbones and opened the eyes, I had a wonderful freckled faceup painted on him and then... nothing. I dressed him up, took a few photos, and because he's one of my heads I've always intended to have sharing a body, got sent in the box and was never taken out again. ^ ^;

      I tried fixing what was wrong many times, I gave him a new character, a new wig and eyes, nothing worked. I tried to sell him even more times, but looking back to it now I must have had over thirty inquiries about him and about ten people that asked me to hold him for them yet everyone either decided otherwise after the hold period was over -if not outright agreed to pay then flaked entirely. I took it as a sign that he's desperately trying to cling from me and really would rather stick around so this time I went ahead and became more drastic.

      I gave him a character that's completely different from what I originally intended, drew a bunch of pictures, and first thing that happens once I get back home is wiping his face and attempting a new faceup to match his new self to see if starting completely new rather than me forcing this 'predetermined' idea I had about the sort of character he ought to be helps...
       
    17. I have a DZ Benjamin who's head sculpt I love. In order to get the head, you have to order a complete doll. While there is nothing wrong with the DZ body, I always felt that a DC body fit his character better. I tried to get over the DC body idea and make do. One day, I just decided to sell the whole doll as I was becoming frustrated. I decided to split the sale and the body sold quickly. That's when I realized I should keep the head and get a DC body! I'm waiting on one one now. Sometimes you just have to listen to your inner voice and make the decisions that bring peace and joy.