How to combine BJD hobby and parental life ?

Mar 15, 2017

    1. Hello everybody !
      I'm back once again with special or weird (I permit you) questions. :lol:
      I'm addressing people with children even if I'm a teenage girl because I find this subject super interesting. But if you're not a parent, stay here anyway !

      If you have children :
      I imagine have children isn't easy. You certainly don't have much time to give to this hobby, hence my question : How do you organize yourself ? Are you forced to leave your BJDs ? If yes or not, something else ?

      If you haven't children :
      What do you imagine this hobby will become at the moment when you'll have a child ? Are you afraid of having to leave it ?

      Thank you for participating in this short questionnaire :kitty2

      [I hope this theard doesn't exist]
       
    2. I'm actually facing this question right now, as I am pregnant with my first. I can say for certain that since I have gotten pregnant I haven't been as active in the hobby, mainly due to all my funds going to impending tiny human and lets face it, this isn't a cheap hobby. I have no intention of leaving entirely though, instead I figure for now I'll content myself with looking at posts and pictures here, buying an occasional clothing item or two, and in a few years hopefully come back and get back to work on some of the doll projects I had going. **crosses fingers**
       
    3. I do not have children but I expect my free time would drop at least for the first few years. I feel like if I were to have a kid with my boyfriend they might be art oriented anyway since both of us are artists in two very different senses. I would love to do arts and crafts time with my kid to maybe make little doll houses or dioramas for the dolls. As for safety of dolls, I already have a locked glass cabinet for them because I have cats. My opinion is if you love the hobby enough there will be times where it is on the back burner but you can always be a part of it one way or another.
       
    4. I do not have children but I would say that one could still be engaged in the hobby with little ones. I have friends with teenagers still in the hobby and her son is also interested, so it's more like a shared hobby for them. I would think it would be more difficult in the younger years but maybe do something that is less time consuming. Instead of role playing for hours every night, maybe allow one day a week for it or maybe get involved with writing about your characters in a novel form, that way you can add on as you want with no complete commitment. Or do sewing or a once a month meet up with the locals. Where you can do bits at a time.
       
    5. I'm a mom of 3 under 5. When I had my 1st born I ended up leaving the hobby as he took much of my time and attention in a great way. I got caught up in life, had my second son still absent from the hobby, every now and then I'd check out iplehouse.
      After the birth of my daughter who just turned 1 I jumped back into the hobby. I think for me it was finally having a little girl remembering what I used to play with and all my dolls that brought me back.
      I came back last June going through my doll family some I no longer connected to and I bought more for my OC ideas. I "play" with them on the weekends (as a SAHM hubby takes them for me and its me time.)
      I occasionally write character backgrounds, stories, dress them up and take photos. It's a stress relief for me and it's also got me back to knitting for my dolls too.
      I've also embrassed Instagram meeting so many wonderful people across the globe in this hobby.

      Don't be discouraged if baby takes your time away it'll work out. My kids now ask mommy is that for your doll, can I open the box, can I help brush their hair? Hey they have shoes like me.
      Baby is a nice addition it'll focus you on what's important but remember to take some time for yourself as a parent you need a calming place or hobby to make life not so stressful.
       
      #5 nanachan, Mar 15, 2017
      Last edited: Mar 16, 2017
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    6. @Peppermint Hippo - Congratulations ! It's sure, unfortunately this is far from being a cheap hobby... I like your vision of things. Even if you cannot actively participate, it not remain that you'll do all your possible to stay in the BJD passion. I also crosses fingers for you. :3nodding:

      @Sara Locke - You say really cute things. I think share a common passion with her child it's one of the most beautiful things. Good job for the protection of your dolls ! :abow:

      @Christina_Xx - Yes, so good ideas ! Share this passion, as I said to Sara, is a beautiful thing. Even if the first years will be complicated, one da, they may follow this hobby with you.
       
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    7. I have also already done this. I took a collecting/buying break both times when I was expecting my 1st and again later with my 2nd child. My girls are 4 years apart. I was already a long time doll collector and I really did not get back into it until my eldest was 2 and then I was able to collect for about another 2 years though I was much more conservative with my buying because I imposed a budget on myself. At the time, I was collecting fashion dolls. Then I stopped again when I had my second daughter and did not actively pick it up again until she was also about 2 years old. At that time I abandoned my fashion dolls and switched to BJDs. Now, though I was not actively collecting or buying, I was still participating on boards and looking at websites on-line. I always have had a place for my dolls, a collecting room in my first apartment with my husband, another share collecting room in our first house, and now my own doll room in my current home.

      My girls are now teenagers and are good and trustworthy with my dolls. They know there are rules to my doll room and they follow it and make sure their friends follow it. My eldest daughter likes dolls more than my youngest. They do like it when I ask their input though they know I am a little die hard for them. They have a few BJDs of their own that I have purchased for them as well as a variety of other dolls so we sort of share into the hobby at times but at a pace they are comfortable with as teenagers.
       
    8. I have 3 kids. one is 10, the other two are under 5. Two of them have ASD so are technically "special needs" even though they're really high functioning.
      It's not too bad. My dolls are kept out of reach and they even when little knew they weren't to touch. I have cute photos of my eldest playing with my monster high dolls when he was a toddler, I allow the kids to touch them if they're supervised.
      Youngest loves that my bjds have penises, he finds this absolutely wonderful lol. He was giggling his little head off about it.

      Anyway,

      I didn't start collecting dolls till eldest was about 3, and then it was all fashion dolls. Wasn't till my youngest was about 2 I started to collect dolls that needed faceups and actual time devoted to them.

      However, just as any parent manages to shower, dress themselves, make dinner and do laundry, I manage to juggle doll stuff too.
      The kids play while I take photos in the garden.
      they run about or watch tv or play while I keep one eye on them and paint a doll (because i'm awesome at multitasking hahah)
      I save the really really "have to concentrate" stuff for the few hours after they've gone to bed. They go down at about 7:30 and so you use the time till bed doing what you wanted to do. Playing video games, watching some grown up tv, painting a doll, making a wig... doing some sewing..

      Of course I have way more time now that they're in school and nursery. Youngest started nursery this year and next year he starts full time school so that gives me currently a good 3 hours in the morning to have "me" time.

      Of course dolls kinda fell to the wayside for the first year of my kid's lives, but not completely. While youngest slept (babies sleep so much omg) and middle napped (young toddlers nap a lot too yaaaaay) I could get a lot done. I opted to do the housework while middle kid was under foot and "helping" because he could sit on the counter while I made food or help hand me laundry while I loaded the washing machine, so why not? but when they slept I got some time to do more delicate stuff.
      Of course you're not gonna be starting anything that'll take hours and hours because you know you might have to drop it at any moment when they wake, but it's certainly enough time to take some photos, touch up some faceups, play with some wigs or whatever.

      My daily schedule now pretty much goes like this:

      7am - get up. Give kids breakfast, jump in shower while they eat. Get dressed, run fingers through hair, yep, look okay.

      7:30 - Get kids into uniforms. Repeat over and over "put your shoes on, put your shoes on." while eldest runs back and forward humming and clapping and ignoring you. He'll eventually put his damn shoes on. Takes about half an hour to get him into clothing because he forgets half way through and wanders off. Arghhh. Eat breakfast while yelling "SHOES!"

      8am - eldest's lift shows up, bundle him into taxi. Now we can focus on getting shoes and pants onto the other two.

      8:30 - Leave the house.with younger two. Drop youngest at nursery gate, walk around to drop middle at school.

      9 - get home, collapse into a chair, consider tea.

      9 - 11:30 - ME time. Muck about on computer, do art, play with dolls, do some housework. Reward unstacking dishwasher with a cup of tea and some facebook time lol.

      11:30 - leave house to pick youngest up from nursery

      12 - get home and make lunch for youngest. Argue with him about plates not being the right colour/sandwich not having the right jam on/because he asked for peanut butter and has now decided he wants nutella instead. Give up and make him a new sandwich.He'll eat both anyway. gah.

      12-3:00 - do housework while youngest veges out/"helps", get some time out to do computer stuff, kick him into garden if it's sunny so you can get some time to sit down and relax. Yeah, 4 year olds don't need that much one on one supervision, he'll spend like an hour digging in the sandpit and talking to himself. Look up from table every 5 minutes to make sure he's okay, get up to investigate if you can no longer hear his monologue. Silence means they're doing something bad. He might go upstairs, listen for sounds of taps in bathroom or silence that means he's pouring toothpaste into the toilet or making "soup" with shampoo. Intervene. Endure tantrum for intervening. Suggest less messy playtimes like train set... or actual toys! please!
      Relent and get out the play dough. Get nagged into baking cookies.

      3:00 - get pants back on youngest (my kids are allergic to pants okay? They hate wearing pants, drives me nuts) leave house to pick up middle kid from school.

      3:15 - grab middle kid and RUN back to the house in time for eldest's drop off at 3:30

      3:30 prepare a lot of sandwiches, drinks, anything we have to eat for three hungry kids.

      3:30 - 5pm - kids play together or have tablet time and ignore me while playing minecraft together. Youngest bites their feet, fights break out, intervene. Screaming because middle kid blew up eldest's house in minecraft. Intervene. More yelling because eldest killed youngest's sheep in minecraft in retaliation for the house.
      ARGHHHH.
      tell them if they can't play nice they don't get tablets.
      threaten to sell them to the circus.

      5pm - i'm hungry, i'm hungry, i'm hungry nagging starts.

      6pm - dinner

      7:30 bed time. Stories. Bath maybe. Don't mention baths if it's not bath night, youngest will run one anyway and climb in. Argh.

      7:30 -8:30 - GO TO BED omg stop fighting, get into bed, why are you still awake? it's sleep time not singing time. Stop running around. GET TO BED. drama.

      9:00 - midnight - Adult time. Play video games, watch tv, paint a doll. Chill. Drink some tequilla and nurse a headache.

      midnight - Collapse into bed.

      7am - rinse repeat.

      So you know... its hectic but it's totally possible to do doll stuff. I get about 5 hours a day I can do solid uninterrupted whatever I want stuff.
      I'll have even more time next year, considering getting a part time job because you know.. money.

      in terms of safety, all my dolls are on high shelves and the kids honestly don't really have that much interest in them. They only care when I bring them down from the shelves, at which point most of the time they're more interested in getting into my photo (vain things lol) or stealing the accessories (they LOVE accessories, particularly anything with wheels. The amount of doll bikes and cars i've lost to these kids maaan.)
      If it's not a fragile doll then i'll let them play with them for a bit while watching closely just in case they decide to throw them or you know, bend something the wrong way.
      If it's a resin of 3dp doll then no, you can touch but only if mummy is holding it. The elder two have no interest in the bjds, youngest just likes to poke them in the groin and giggle. *eyeroll*

      Also sacrificial dolls are helpful. I hybrid fashion dolls a lot so I have a lot of heads and bodies around. I make "junk dolls" for the kids to play with and throw around and you know, do whatever with. Middle has a monster high doll called "alex" (no idea why he named her that but there ya go) and youngest has a few random barbies and stuff. They don't really play with them but they're a useful "hey look, distraction!" when you're working on something similar and they want to be involved.
      Eldest used to love getting into my dioramas and playing with them lol. And I don't really mind as long as they're gentle.
      I don't think i'd let them play with my bjds though, they're a bit too expensive and fragile.
      But they can totally touch their faces as long as their hands are clean, and take their wigs off or shake their hand gently. that's fine.

      We do have a young girl we babysit sometimes and she LOVES dolls, but she's also 10 so knows how to not be rough. Still, I don't trust her. I've seen her barbies. She draws on em. She's good at respecting my property but I still watch her like a hawk. She doesn't touch the bjds, they're off limits, but she does try to play with my Makies and i'm like "mmm okay but don't be too rough and be careful and don't take them off the shelf." so she usually stands there and has them talk to one another without actually touching them. They ARE play dolls though, they are supposed to be for kids. I often throw sacrificial dolls at her too hahaha. "here play with this sindy!"
       
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    9. Ah, this is a fear of mine. Boyfriend and I are considering a child down the road. So I always have that thought in mind when making doll plans. I want to be able to display my dolls in our room and enjoy them. I invest a ton of money into styling my dolls, so I want to see them and not hide them away.

      I have an affinity for scary/weird looking dolls. So lately, I'm always thinking: "Is this doll too creepy for a child? If we had a child, would I have to hide this doll away? How do I display them safely so that kids aren't grabbing/messing with them? How do I explain that this is mommy's dolly and not for playtime?"

      I don't even have kids yet! And I don't plan on having them for several years! :...(
       
    10. I don't expect much to change. I'm not a very hands on collector and most are still in boxes because I don't have a case for them. When the child is a baby, the ones that are out will probably stay out. When they're a toddler the dolls will be put away or up out of reach. When my child is old enough, I'll show them how to play. ;) I wanna enjoy my child, and the dolls can keep, so I'm not at all scared to put the hobby on the back burner. :)
       
    11. lol kids are pretty accepting to be honest. If they've always grown up with it around it doesn't even really register I think. I mean man, I have some weird stuff and hte kids don't even bat an eyelid. Eldest got a bit mad when I brought home a creepy baby doll as a halloween decoration but he's gotten over it. I have living dead dolls here and all manner of horror stuff, the kids don't care.
       
    12. I think that if you are really in love with the hobby having kids won't change anything that much. Your time and money may be affected from time to time depending on your situation, but usually, when there's a will there's a way.
      I only have one kid, a five year old boy, and he doesn't bother or seem that interested in my dolls. I do ask him for his help and participation when naming them, which he enjoys and is actually good at. I am hopeful that he is more into them when he is older. He loves action figures and wants to be a sculptor or printmaker when he grows up, so he might learn to like them from an artistic standpoint.
      I do think that having a kid or kids makes you restructure your life a bit, and it can definitely improve your time management skills. It is good to learn to carve out some time, no matter how little, for hobbies or "me" time to stay sane. I often wonder what the heck I did with all my time before I had a kid! I feel like I am far more productive now in all areas of my life.
      Balancing (more like juggling) family, career, and other interests keeps life fun and interesting!
       
    13. I've been in the hobby for fourteen years, on & off!

      Personally, the hobby always comes second to other important parts of my life. First it was college and career! After that marriage & our children(two under seven). However, that does not mean I love the hobby any less ^.^ on the contrary the little time I devote to it is soo much fun. Even my girls love the dollies & want to play with them:dance I let them brush their hair or the two year old wants to give them hugs hehee. To me everything falls into place & the good thing is the dolls can wait for me when I've the time to enjoy them.
       
    14. I don't have kids and never will, so take my opinions with a grain of salt, but I think it's important for people to not give up everything they enjoy just because they became a parent. During the baby years, you may need to devote more time to the kids, but ultimately, you're still YOU, being a parent doesn't mean you have to drop every aspect of your life and personality that doesn't directly relate to the kids.

      As a small child, I remember my mom drawing at her drafting table, sewing things for herself, painting, reading, doing arts and crafts. My dad spent a lot of time working on his car, doing woodworking, building furniture, backpacking, hiking. They both involved us enough to teach us, but they also did a lot of their own hobbies that didn't center around us. We'd play in the driveway while our dad was working in his garage, or we'd play in our dollhouses while our mom was drawing or reading. You can definitely still enjoy your dolls with children, and it could even be a great way to introduce them to art and collector items and teach them how to respect others' things. They can play with their toys while you play with yours.
       
    15. I have kids that are now school age (elementary), when they were smaller, it was harder to enjoy my dolls because they wanted to touch everything and didn't understand the "no touching" rule or to be gentle, not touch the dolls faces etc. My kids also needed me a lot more at that time then now. They each have a pukipuki now and when I take my dolls out to change or play with them, they usually take theirs out too. When I make things for my dolls (miniatures, clothes etc) they want to try their hands at making things too. I find that it has helped them to be creative and have a respect and appreciation towards art. My oldest daughter has started to learn crochet, photography, sculpting and sewing skills because of BJD.
       
    16. My son is 2 years old. I've been collecting for 8 years. You imagine correctly- everything is super hard. I never left BJD, but there is a definite gap in activity from 2013 to 2015. In 2016 I reevaluated my collection and began selling off dolls that I was just never going to have time for. I think I'm down to 15. I feel guilty at times for the money that's sunk into them, and other times I feel guilty that I don't have more time to devote to them.

      My son loves mommy' "babies" and he likes to help pose them and put on their shoes and play with their accessories. At a doll meet I hosted at my house once, he took a yosd and posed a little scene for it. He's not always in the mood the play dolls but when he is it's fun to share that time with him.

      And did I take a break- no. Turns out tiny new babies are pretty much just squishy SD17 (that's a Volks guitar) he also occasionally wore Dollheart hats.[​IMG]
       
      #16 skyealloway, Mar 16, 2017
      Last edited: Mar 16, 2017
      • x 1
    17. I have 2 kids, ages 10 and 12. They're pretty independent at that age, so I don't have too much trouble fitting in my dolly hobbies. Every now and then I get questions and various things they want to show me, just like any small child ..but for the most part, they find my interest in dolls a little fascinating. I think it inspires them to create things of their own. :) But as far as your question goes, I don't find that they take too much time away from the hobby. It's just a matter of finding ways to fit it into the routine. I can imagine, though, that the same wouldn't necessarily hold true for younger kids. I only started this hobby recently.
       
    18. I don't have any children right now, but I don't think I'd leave the hobby entirely more like take some time off until I can handle both. :thumbup
       
    19. When my son was born I definitely was forced to take a break from this hobby. All my time, energy and money went towards him, and all the spare time I wanted to spend with my husband. Living with a tiny baby is a huge weight on a relationship, let's face it!
      But I sorely missed this hobby during the whole hiatus, I missed the crafting and the painting and all that, but of course I had my priorities.
      Now that life is a tad bit easier and my son is almost two years old I have time for this hobby again. I missed this, sure, but I wouldn't do anything different. :)
      I mostly devote the late evenings to this hobby, when my son is sleeping, that is. But sometimes my lovely hubby goes visiting our relatives with our son so I get a couple of hours just for this hobby. :)
      I definitely think combining being a parent and being a doll collector isn't impossible at all. It's just a bit tricky. ;)
       
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