Inside the anxiety over having too many dolls

Hi there! I don't know how much help I'm going to be. I'm pushing the big 5-0, and I find that the older I get, the less I care about what others think.

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? Don't really have a number limit, but I am trying to limit smaller than 60 cm. It's more of a feeling. If I start to feel like I have too many, then I start looking to cull

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? It looks cleaner when there are fewer dolls in the house. But then I miss them. So it's a constant battle between clean, bare space, and look at that bare space. I bet I could put a doll there.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? I was clean-up duty as a kid in my house. I lived with people who never threw anything away. They would leave trash on the kitchen counters, dirty laundry on the floor - and I would get yelled at for not cleaning it up. Socks in the living room fill me with primal rage.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? I don't like when dolls are hidden behind other dolls - that is a thing.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? my playline dolls bother me as much as my BJDs in this respect. Everything is packaged in single-size, non-reusable plastic. I love getting a new dolly in the mail. Man, do I hate throwing away the packaging. There's only so much room to store/re-use.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? Correlates to work. Bad times at work - need to sell dolls or buy a doll to make myself feel better. Good times at work - happy with my dolls, excited to craft.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? Oh, yes. All of my non-doll-collecting friends/family are freaked out by my dolls - the number of them, and their size. They all want me to sell them all for a big mark-up.
They are not allowed to come to my house anymore. Life's too short for that sort of negativity. I can afford them. They make me happy. You don't like them? Tough.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? With BJDs, one of the biggest downsides is that you never get to see the doll in person before buying. I'll fall in love with a face-up or something else in a promo photo, but once the doll is in my hands, there's something I just do not like about it. It doesn't happen often, but it's a huge disappointment when it does.

 

I admit I have too many dolls. I kept my collection down, and then I inherited money and it became harder to limit what I bought. Luckily, I only have dolls that are 1:6 scale or smaller. I save all their boxes. I have one room devoted to my collection that I keep very dark. I sell some of them, and then before so know it, I have replaced them with new dolls, and then some... I will admit I have about 90 dolls now, and, yes, I feel anxious if I think about how many I own. I have NEVER collected anything before, so it's really quite unlike me. I feel a little sad when I sell one, but also a bit relieved. I am attached to most of the ones I have and it would be difficult for me to sell them! I will be reading the other replies in this thread with interest. I'm guessing most people will be thinking, " At least I don't have as many dolls as she does! "after reading my post!

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? I wish I could limit it...but honestly, I haven't. I guess I haven't gone above traditional SD16/17 sizes.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? Clutter makes me anxious. I already have anxiety but there are days where I look at my room and think "I should recycle/donate/trash it all" but I also know a lot of my things have value and bring me joy.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? I'm an anxious person. I think it came from entering the job market during the economic depression. Being born in 1984, raised to believe I could do whatever I wanted, did well in school, and then to be told you're too educated to do this but too inexperienced to do that was pretty demoralizing. I can't achieve "the American Dream." No fancy car, no house of my own. I've come to terms with that part but in my early 20s, I felt like an utter failure and being an adult was overwhelming. So I cope by buying things but I also cycle in and out of collections. I'm trying to find a psychiatrist to help with my anxiety.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? I do have a lot of other collections. I can't enjoy them all at the same time. I'm also a little sad that I can't see all my dolls clearly - they're kind of layered atm.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? No, not really. Has more to do with "what will happen to these dolls after I die?" I'm going to be 40 and a lot of acquaintances passed away in the last year so I am very much so aware of what happens when you pass - your belongings get divvied up, trashed, or donated. I don't have kids - won't have any - but I have siblings. I want them to sell these and make something off of my loss.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? Yes but I never sell any of them. Other days I am happy to look at them. Other days I ponder who can go. Or where else can I display them.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? My mother - who I live with - sometimes says I have too many or should stop buying them (because yes I keep adding to my collection) but she also helps me take photos of them in the local park. My cat sitter said they terrified her so at least I know would be robbers wouldn't grab them.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? I need to downsize but I can't find any doll in my collection who I really want to get rid of. They all have possibilities that I haven't explored yet. But I have so many that I don't spend any time with them anymore. I get new outfits...and have yet to try them on the dolls. I think I am overwhelmed in general.

 

I think it's a common feeling indeed! Having any possessions in excess can be overwhelming and anxiety-inducing (personally, I purge stuff from my closet every year for instance), especially if they are not items you can "use up" or if they have a lot of monetary/sentimental value.

I set myself a doll limit of 4 and now have 5 Every now and then I get the urge to get a new "project"/doll but then do something with the ones I already have and realise that noooo, if I get any more I will get too overwhelmed to enjoy them and try to make something new for the ones I already have. I keep them in the boxes but the boxes take a lot of space, too, so the thought of getting more means clearing out some precious shelf real estate that I'd rather use for other things.

I'm in more stable housing now, but I've moved a lot and very often at periods - once stuff accumulates and exceeds a suitcase or two it also becomes a major hassle and money sink to move (need to borrow car/van etc) so I keep reminding myself that when new doll urges grow too big. I also feel like I can be super obsessed with dolls to the point that *that* gets very overwhelming so I'm also trying to limit the number of them so I can give fair attention to other activities and hobbies in my life, too.

All in all, I just want to keep numbers low because the hobby can't make me happy if it's overwhelming! And I want dolls to bring me happiness!

 

Hmm, this is actually a really interesting topic, I have often wondered a bit about it myself. I have been collecting my dolls since 2009, but it has only been in the last few years that I have started to look at my collection and ask myself "Should I slow down?" Or "Should I sell some?" The question alone honestly makes me anxious.

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size?
When I first started collecting, it was surreal because I honestly thought I would never own one. Now I have nearly 30 and when I think about that, it blows my mind. My husband loves to remind me of how many years I pined and hoped before I took the plunge, to remind me how much I adore my collection.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious?

Two or three years ago I found out I have ADHD. Last fall I found out I am autistic as well. I have struggled with my mental health since I was a teenager and have been an anxious person my whole life. A lot of the anxiety comes from there.

A lot of it, however, also comes from having graduated college in 2008 when the recession hit. I pulled the typical did great, perfectionist "if it wasn't an a it wasn't good enough, I could do better" thing all the way through high school, but when I lost the structure and was on my own for college my mental health took a nose dive because suddenly I was struggling for the first time to maintain my balance.

I have a BFA in Illustration, it was all I ever wanted to do. I also have significant debt because of this choice. Should I have my collection with that debt? Probably not. At all. It is not fiscally responsible. I have had breakdowns and thought about selling it all to put to my loans a million times. My husband stops me every single time.

My dolls have an enormous place in my life. The longer I went unable to work in my chosen field, the worse my depression became until everytime I tried to draw or paint, all I could think of, all I could feel, were the oppressive weight and feelings of failure, of anger, of being worthless and unable to get anywhere in life. I still cycle through it a lot. It has been almost a decade now since I realized I no longer love my art and that it hurts me to try even though I still want to. It still makes me feel broken.

My BJDs have replaced my art, my innate need for creativity, in their own way. I have learned new skills (I am an alpaca wig-maker) and all my dolls (for the first 10 years anyway) were only allowed to be purchased on long layaways or secondhand in pieces if characters near and dear to my heart. The same ones who made me always want to do my art in the first place.

They have helped me cope with a loss that completely destroyed my perception of myself and who I am. It's a very complicated relationship but every one of my dolls I have worked hard for. Not once have I ever missed a payment or other responsibilities for my dolls. In fact I always pay a good chunk over the minimum of what I owe each month. But sometimes, when I still see that balance not move, when it's more than I even borrowed, when I know I have paid thousands over what I borrowed, I freak out when I look at my dolls and think I have too many and I should sell them all even though it would utterly devastate me.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past?

I think I accidentally answered this with the above answer, lol.

It's a huge tangled web of situation, finances and mental health. But suffice to say, anytime something puts me in a downward spiral, the anxiety happens.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter?

A little bit, yes. It drives me up the wall that when I am in a professional position, when things are not mine, I can keep clutter to a minimum and stick to an already in-use organizational system.

But the moment I get home? I crash and burn. When I lived at home with my family, I knew what was expected of me and I did it. It was routine.

Now that I don't? Now that I have more responsibilities and the struggles with AuDHD, I have the worst time with it. I am incessantly cycling through things slowly devolving until I feel claustrophobic with a need to take everything down to the base boards, clean, purge, reorganize. I'm doing it in my doll/art room yet again right now, actually.

Its maddening.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness?

No, I don't think so. As much as I hate to admit it, I am materialistic and I like to be surrounded by beautiful things that help uplift my frequent depression. I think space may be more of a factor for me.

Does this anxiety come in cycles?

Oh, absolutely. I also cycle through things in this hobby as hyperfixations within the broader scope of my special interest.

The last few years have been all about wig-making, upgrading my (rather snobby LOL) collection even when new ones come in.

Do you feel judged by the people around you?

Ahaha, this one is fun.

Absolutely. When I first started to collect, I felt so immensely guilty purchasing my first doll that I had an anxiety attack pressing the buy button despite saving for months. I had kind of felt around about it with my parents for a long while before I went for it, and got the same thing most, if not all, of us have heard regarding the cost of the hobby.

Even when I moved out, I didn't want my family to know how many I had and tried to sneak them out without being seen. I always kept them out of view and even though my parents knew I had some, I don't think they thought much on it because I was pretty guarded about them.

That was a long time ago now, though. Through years of figuring things out about myself, therapy etc I find that I don't really care about hiding them anymore. To me they are part of who I am and after realizing that I didn't even know myself behind all the masking I do around people, I just couldn't do it anymore. I am tired of trying to be something different for every person, tired of people pleasing. I want to just be weird, unapologetic me. I am still learning how to do this every day, but suffice to say it's hard to miss me now when my hair is vibrant pink and purple, I love to show what I am working on with my dolls and will even carry one with me in public at certain places like the NY Faerie Festival or Renaissance festivals when I am all costumes up!

Do I always have a positive reception? No. Most of the time I do, though! It just makes my day when someone compliments me on it or wants to ask about my dolls. I have come a long way from hiding all the time and feeling so alone for it, my BJDs have helped a lot with it.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing?

See, the thing is I don't have the impulse to sell. It is very, very hard for me to sell actually. I have only done so with one doll and it took me years to finally decide she needed a new home so she could be loved properly.

I have looked through my collection a thousand times, trying to figure out if I could part with any of them. It makes me distraught every stinking time. I am very emotionally attached to my dolls. I spend a long time bringing their characters to life. I put a lot of effort (and money, admittedly) into making them who I see. To me, it's one of the most magical, satisfying things. It's like I am taking my beloved characters out of my personal writing and finally getting to change them from my mind's eye to finally seeing them in person. They bring me SO much joy.

This is why my husband will not let me part with them when I have the anxiety attack, panic trigger days. He knows I will be brokenhearted and regret it forever.

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size?
I currently have a limit of 6 for my bjd’s and most of them are 1/6. I don’t have a limit for my smaller ones. I’m a collector of not only bjd’s but other art dolls, so whenever i run out of space i’m constantly finding a way for more room.
What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? (why having fewer dolls is supposed to soothe your nerves)
I actually have severe anxiety and having more dolls soothes those feelings.
Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? (e.g. your relation with toys as a kid/an experience related to theft/damage)
Since i don’t bring my dolls out I'm not afraid of theft on like the road, but i am afraid of like a house fire, or break in, or flood, sinkhole, tsunami, hurricane, or tornado. I live in a place with regular natural disasters… I have some severe trauma of my dolls and games being taken when i was a child, thats why i don’t take my dolls out anywhere.
Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? (e.g. you generally have lots of other collections/you want the dolls to look nicely displayed rather than stuck one on another)
I am constantly planning about where my action figures go, but i do extensive research and measure comparisons so that i can plan out before i get a new bjd or action figure.
Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? (e.g. you try to have fewer dolls that, in turn, require fewer accessories, etc.)
I either don’t know what this question means or no.
Does this anxiety come in cycles? (e.g. when you're anxious about something else, go through some personal issues - you tend to buy or sell away more dolls - rinse and repeat)
Constant, every second of the day even as i type this i’m thinking about them and what might happen
Do you feel judged by the people around you? (e.g., they perceive all the dolls as identical and cannot understand why you need so many variations of "the same thing", or "you should spend your money on something else", or "they take up so much space")
Definitely, and i have an example for this. My mom thinks its stupid and that i should stop wasting my money on plastic and that its really dumb, but my grandma (this extremely religious lady who you would never think would like such thing) absolutely loves bjds. Always commenting nice things about them when she passes my room and always asking me about the next one im getting. But she says sometimes people aren’t as open minded about things like this and it makes me ignore what others say about what makes me happy.
What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing?
Main trigger is actually my depression, and since no one talks to me on a regular i like to collect things in a unhealthy manner.
I actually don’t normally resell anything from my collections, and in the past anytime i did I regret it and try to buy them back later. Luckily i haven’t done this with any bjd’s yet but it leaves me depressed and sad when i have to sell them. The only reasons I’ve ever resold them is because I thought I wasn’t good enough for them. Luckily I no longer think that anymore and it saved me alot of times from selling something i will regret and never get back.

 

I'd argue a lot of your anxiety described comes from outside factors, and the dolls itself are just a fallout victim (the moving, being with abusive ex-boyfriends, unsafe living conditions etc.).
I'd also be anxious as hell if I'd live through that AND would try to keep up with any hobby as emotionally investing as collecting these dolls. If I'd even be willing to keep up with that while everything around me regularly seems to go up in flames
As soon as you have fixed these circumstances, I am sure most of your anxiety towards the hobby would vanish, as you already described yourself.

Anyway, to your questions.
What is your limit? Does it depend on the size?
I long ago set my personal soft limit at 20 BJDs, and yes, size is a factor. I am currently at 21 full dolls, and three floating bodies I just keep in case I ever have the itch for a cosplay doll or whatever. I do have a couple floating heads, but they are extras for the full dolls here and will never get their own body. However, even though I have 21 full dolls, only 13 of them are 70cm (my preferred size), and 5 are actually small pet critters. Those last five I barely count mentally. I also have 10 Blythe, but once again their small size makes it easier to manage.
If I had 21x 70cm guys I know the situation would look very differently, and the limit is also more applied to the bigger scales. I do still want to add a MSD, and I don't see the stress in potentially getting more pets. However, any new 70cm guy REALLY needs to hit for me to even contemplate buying him.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? (why having fewer dolls is supposed to soothe your nerves)
I am thankfully not really anxious, but there is a good reason for my soft limit. One is space, because even though I live in a decently sized apartment and have the luxury of a separate doll/hobby room, I only have so much space for actually neatly storing the dolls and their belongings in a way that pleases me. I like for my collections of any kind to be safely, yet visibly, stored. I can't do that with a hundred dolls shoved into a cabinet. The second one is, to me every new doll is like a new mouth to feed. I need to customize it, buy clothes, get a wig, eyes, all that stuff. I had some dolls I sold simply because I didn't have the energy and desire in me to go through that. And even the dolls I have here sometimes took years to reach a level that was satisfying to me, either because my own skills were lacking or I simply could not find the right artists to commission.
So it's a mixture of space, money and energy that prevents me from really getting more, and I know that if I'd push these boundaries that I definitely would get anxious. So I am stopping it before it can manifest.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? (e.g. your relation with toys as a kid/an experience related to theft/damage)
No, I don't think so. I have always been very picky, very organized, very "this needs to be perfect" about everything I owned and did. As a kid I already did the "putting my stuff neatly into glass cabinets" thing (I am pretty sure I am on the autism spectrum, go figure). The dolls are falling exactly in line with that, down to how I approach the hobby, store them and so on.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? (e.g. you generally have lots of other collections/you want the dolls to look nicely displayed rather than stuck one on another)
Yes, see above. I am very particular about how I organize, store and present my hobbies. I also collect Pokemon cards, anything in regards to Metal Gear Solid (my biggest collection), and that green Mameshiba bean-dog thing
However, the rest of my apartment is pretty bare in comparison, I have everything in white/gray, don't really "do" decoration, and I tend to get overwhelmed when I own too much stuff and it breaches containment (i.e. the doll and living room). As such I have reduced heavily what I buy for my interests (I don't buy action figures for example), and I do not start new hobbies or hobbies I know are just storage eaters (like collecting comics...you really can just put those into boxes).

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? (e.g. you try to have fewer dolls that, in turn, require fewer accessories, etc.)
No

Does this anxiety come in cycles? (e.g. when you're anxious about something else, go through some personal issues - you tend to buy or sell away more dolls - rinse and repeat)
Also no.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? (e.g., they perceive all the dolls as identical and cannot understand why you need so many variations of "the same thing", or "you should spend your money on something else", or "they take up so much space")
Not really. All my friends are either in the doll hobby, otherwise nerdy, or definitely maximalist with their decoration style. I am funny enough the most minimalist, clean and organized one in our group because I like for my stuff to be contained behind glass and for open surfaces to be minimally covered. I generally don't surround myself with people that have something against my way of living, life is too short for that.
My father once made a comment in regards to me collecting things overall, calling it childish, but my father is bitter as hell and could have really used a hobby besides going to work...so what does he know

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing?
I thankfully don't really do impulse purchases, especially ones above a certain price range. My desire to own dolls has been greatly kept at bay by doing faceup commissions (you get to see and "play" with a doll you otherwise would have needed to buy, AND get paid for it on top!), their high price (I cannot justifying paying so much money for something random on a Wednesday afternoon without going through the motions first), and the fact that I need them all to fulfill a certain role (specific OCs in my projects, or visual role like "tanned with white hair and golden eyes"). There are too many cool dolls out there, and I have accepted I realistically cannot own them all and also would not feel fulfilled doing so.
Downsizing was for me always triggered when I felt overwhelmed by a project (the mentioned "I just cannot see myself paying all that money and putting in all that work to finish this"), or when I overall felt I had "too much". Both has thankfully not happened in years, simply because I learned what I need to be happy with my collections and how I have to limit myself for it to still feel comfy.

However, I would also argue that for 16 years in the hobby, my collection is overall pretty small and my list of "dolls I bought" pretty short as well. When I look at the list, I see roughly 50 faces I owned at some point. That also includes stuff I got gifted/won in contests. Some of these were heads only that I never bothered to get bodies for, and some I sold because I wanted to re-shell the character into something more fitting years later. That's overall 3 faces on average per year, and within the last years it's more like "a doll per year". That is pretty manageable

 

Really appreciate the thoughts above, everyone's answers illustrate how our feelings about our hobbies are so entwined with our past experiences, values and emotions.

I will only briefly speak to the clutter and sustainability part- as anyone with 2+ hobbies can attest, keeping things affordable, organized, and feeling like your stuff is actually getting used, is so hard to do! I vacillate regularly between wanting to get things ("it's on sale!", "the doll needs it anyway", "with this I could make a nice ____") and wanting to get rid of clutter. It's part of a general conflict between making space/time for nice things in my life and knowing that my lifestyle should probably be more sustainable. These feelings are certainly rooted in my childhood home, which was clean but had an overwhelming amount of stuff. I'm worried what we're going to do with it all when my parents have to downsize or if they pass away.

Nonetheless I went ahead and ordered 2 dolls this year I had to take at least a day contemplating each before hitting the order button...

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? (e.g. you can have 16 tinies and feel fine, but 6 SDs give you anxiety)
No hard limit but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at the thought of adding another SD (4) DD (3) and even MSD (6). But I feel ok shopping for littles right now

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? (why having fewer dolls is supposed to soothe your nerves)
I think about the idea of packing them for a future move and it makes me stressed. The boxes are so big and I will never trust them with a moving company or left in some kind of storage unit. Also the cost of all their items will be to get them looking nice, I think how much more I could spoil them with the same amount of money if I limit them. But it's impossible to choose someone to leave

I also have OCD too I won't go into detail abt it because that doesn't get received well here. But it causes anxiety in general.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? (e.g. your relation with toys as a kid/an experience related to theft/damage)
My mom is a hoarder and often threw out our things to make room for hers, I think that strengthened my attachment to my toys, and besides I am not a good socializer too and maybe she targeted my toys because she thought I loved them too much to be normal. I don't think I'll become a hoarder, and no one's throwing out my things, but I still get some gut feeling like I can't manage these things and maybe I shouldn't be allowed to own them

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? (e.g. you generally have lots of other collections/you want the dolls to look nicely displayed rather than stuck one on another)
No, I don't think my dolls look cluttered at all and I'm improving my organizing system for their things more and more
I can tolerate more clutter than most, but I have no problem cleaning up when it bugs me!

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? (e.g. you try to have fewer dolls that, in turn, require fewer accessories, etc.)
Not necessarily, but all the packaging and shipping does really bother me in terms of waste. but the same can be said about a lot of other things in life. I make efforts to reduce my waste. with dolls I usually save whatever of the package I could reuse rather than send it to a landfill, and try to order several things together when I shop to not contribute too frequently to the demand for shipping. maybe I don't make much difference but a little is better than none.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? (e.g. when you're anxious about something else, go through some personal issues - you tend to buy or sell away more dolls - rinse and repeat)
Definitely spikes when I'm stressed I sold almost all of my dolls in a difficult period. But I have prevented myself from another massive sell off so far. Even when, as you said, sometimes I really convinced myself I'd be better off with 1 or 2, I have tried it already and know I won't be satisfied

Do you feel judged by the people around you? (e.g., they perceive all the dolls as identical and cannot understand why you need so many variations of "the same thing", or "you should spend your money on something else", or "they take up so much space")
No, I mostly get supportive reactions to my dolls irl and my collection is rather diverse in their looks. That's one of the points I think about when I shop - can this doll give me something none of my other dolls can, and do I actually care about whatever that is?

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? (e.g. too much persuasive talk from others, fear you won't have enough time for all the dolls, etc.?)
Sell off is usually something unrelated to dolls... Hardships.
But I don't really regret my impulsive buys?! some of my favorites were total impulse buys just because I fell in love with the doll on sight, no regrats some dolls I sold before, I considered ultimate grails, until I had them.. weird huh? So I don't fear the impulse itself, but I still take some time to evaluate and mull it over before I really hit the buy button especially if it's preorder period, I wait until the last day!

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? - Needs to be less than 10. Ideally I would be sub-5 but I doubt I'll get there. Does not depend on size.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? - Never asked myself this. Just a sense that I have "too much".

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? - I don't like owning a lot of things, it's probably related to that. I'm always looking for ways to downsize.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? - Not specifically.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? - No. I notice my buying seems to come in cycles, and in order to stay under the limit I have to sell things, but the selling seems to come after the buying so there's always a period of discomfort where I have way too much.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? - No.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? - What triggers this is my changing preferences in dolls. The dolls that have left me are dolls that no longer fit my style preferences or it's reshells of current looks for dolls I have in mind. Everything that exits does so for a reason, even if it's beautiful. There's only a few things I wish I had kept, far more often I'm happy I let things go.

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size?
I wasn't thinking of a limit until recently. I live in an apartment and really do not have much space for them. And now that I am looking for any nooks and crannies to put the crew (and constantly wondering where I've stashed my tools), I have started to wonder if I need to downsize. Size doesn't mean much to me, however. The dolls are based on my characters, and they are going to be hard to shell in either Tiny or Mini form. After all, mature tinies or mature minies are still harder to come by.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious?
Since they are all my characters, some days I feel worried because I can't really show equal love and attention to all of them. I can't display them all at the same time, really. It's silly to think non-sentient things with a fictional character projected onto them can "feel", but I see them almost like my kids. I want to be able to "support" them equally.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past?
Maybe? I have moved many times in my life. Every time I move, I have to leave a few things behind by necessity. Perhaps this is something that has imprinted on my mind, but I can't say this has popped up consciously.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter?
Not the way you've put it, no. I find it hard to throw out anything. My deceased grandfather was a hoarder. Clutter and I have a love-hate relationship. I have difficulties with blank walls and the "IKEA look" because they make me feel lonely and depressed. I try to control the clutter, but having some clutter makes me feel safe.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness?
No. All things considered, BJD as a hobby has a relatively small carbon imprint. Resins dolls are rarely ever thrown out; they just change owners over the years (for example, I have a Volks F-09 who had a number of owners until she came to me. She's close to 20 years old.) Plastic waste is mostly seen in unrecyclable, one-time use situations, BJDs really doesn't play a bit part. The future where plastics are made from recyclable materials will also reduce this kind of existential dread for people, I am sure.)

Does this anxiety come in cycles?
Well, no. Overcrowding anxiety is a new thing for me. Then again , I accumulate dolls at a very slow pace. I've been in the hobby for about 10 years, I only have 15 dolls (that's including pets).

Do you feel judged by the people around you?
Folks around me don't really get my doll hobby (my colleagues at work are freaked out when resin deliveries show up, for example). Having somewhat superstitious parents also means that if anything can be seen as "unlucky, bad" around me, they will blame my dolls. They don't really know how much I've spent on my dolls (thanks to financial independence), but that's just easier this way. So judged? Absolutely. Are they a source of anxiety? Probably, but I'm working hard to shut that voice out.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing?
About half of my dolls are second-hand, so I do actually go through some "impulse buys" in the sense that if I don't grab them when they're listed, they'd be gone. That being said, I only bring in dolls that I have a character for, so the one doll that fits the question was one that I traded recently, because the plans for that character somewhat fell through. I think the pattern will be "dolls leave when their characters go quiet", even if there's only been one incidence of this so far.

 

I’m a very anxious person, always have been and although certain factors have changed over the years (I’m now in my mid 50s) I still live in an almost constant state of anxiety. Only recently, i.e. the last few years have I come to realise I’m Autistic and also possibly have ADHD as well which explains a great deal of the why but unfortunately doesn’t help me actually cope as yet. The diagnosis is still in the ‘self’ stage but I’m working toward getting an official one and perhaps then the required help.
Anyway I shall try to answer the best I can.

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? I don’t know what my limit actually is but I am becoming rather anxious about just what I can cope with. Although I have a few larger dolls now (before it was mainly tinies) I’m not as comfortable with them as I feel I should be. I’m also starting to feel concerned about just how many dolls in total I have.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? A more recent reason for some of my anxiety is related to age and health. For example like most people my age my eyesight is going to hell and I’m struggling to do faceups the way I’d like. I also had a chest infection last year and part of this year that lasted over 7 months making me even more cautious and stressed out regarding so many things. Both of those have put a huge damper on my enjoyment of all of my hobbies as they’ve affected my creativity badly. They’ve also made me think about the future and all the niggling nasty little what ifs that tend to creep into the thoughts of the anxious mindset.
Other anxieties come from fear of breaking them, fear of having spent too much, fear of not treating them how I feel they should be treated, fear of being overwhelmed, fear of not being able to enjoy them, fear of how environmentally un-friendly they actually are, the list my brain comes up with is endless really!

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? Some will be. I never fitted in and was constantly mocked, criticised, picked on, called ‘Weird’ and such because I didn’t see things the way others did including my own family and teachers at school. A lot of my lack of confidence, lack of belief in my own abilities and general self loathing probably stems from that. Having favourite toys taken away from me and given to other siblings, other people or just generally discarded then getting told I was being stupid or selfish when I got upset I dare say also left quite a mental scar!
Other triggers for my anxieties are no doubt connected to the way my brain is wired up and the subsequent inability to deal with certain stimuli and situations.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? Oh yes, that definitely factors into the whole thing big time! Like most creative people clutter is a huge problem for me. I keep things ‘just in case’, hate throwing things away, don’t like being wasteful (part of that is also due to my upbringing) but then have a complete meltdown at the thought of trying to tackle and organise the chaos. I’m not joking about the meltdown either, I literally end up in tears and in a state of utter panic. Strange thing is in a workplace environment I’m incredibly tidy and organised but at home it’s the complete opposite.
Regarding my doll anxieties, the fact that I currently have no way of displaying them and making them easily accessible due to clutter has added to my stress levels and concerns.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? Some of it.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? Yes and no. Some of it is always there but some of it will be down to knock on effects from other factors. I do have a repeat pattern of wanting to do something, getting very enthusiastic and excited by it, starting that thing, then the moment something goes wrong I come crashing down and become filled with self doubt and loathing which then leads to a depressive cycle and shut down. I’m going through that just now with a couple of dolls that I’m struggling to get the faceups right on. With one it feels like everything that could go wrong is going wrong and although I’m trying to trust the process and battle through it’s really making me question myself.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? Always, I’ve never been one for following the expectations of others or doing things because everyone else does so I always feel I’m being judged.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? To be honest I’ve made very few ‘impulse’ purchases of that kind doll wise. Even those I’ve sold on have been thought about and mulled over before I’ve bought them.
Selling on for me usually comes after I’ve tried but failed to bond with a doll or I’ve just felt that they’re not getting the love they should from me.
I’ve only downsized drastically once and that was over 10 years ago when I sold most of my collection. The main trigger for that was illness, both mental and physical.

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? (e.g. you can have 16 tinies and feel fine, but 6 SDs give you anxiety)
I'm still exploring that and I anticipate this never being a solid answer as my life circumstances will change.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? (why having fewer dolls is supposed to soothe your nerves)
Hmmm I mean for me I guess it's more like thinking about how I can spend time with them and I guess because I'm still trying to find my way in the world having an expensive hobby can really over financially if you're not careful.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? (e.g. your relation with toys as a kid/an experience related to theft/damage)
Well, I had a massive collection of off topic dolls my mom gave away and ever since I've been longing for them back because I loved those dolls dearly. But my dolls every once in a while are an omage to my collection I feel at peace with this idk.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? (e.g. you generally have lots of other collections/you want the dolls to look nicely displayed rather than stuck one on another)
Oh I rarely like...I'm naturally a cluttery person so that doesn't bother me necessarily but I actually kind of am the opposite and feel bad if a doll lives too long in their box bc that's not fun.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? (e.g. you try to have fewer dolls that, in turn, require fewer accessories, etc.)
That's never been an issue for me, I reuse packaging where I can and keep boxes as I can which is pretty ecofriendly plus many massive corporations do so much more damage than I ever really could as an individual.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? (e.g. when you're anxious about something else, go through some personal issues - you tend to buy or sell away more dolls - rinse and repeat)
When money is tighter, yeah I've been known to see what can be sold off or doesn't work for my vision and I will sell, but nothing too major I'd regret of course.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? (e.g., they perceive all the dolls as identical and cannot understand why you need so many variations of "the same thing", or "you should spend your money on something else", or "they take up so much space")
Yes this is a major factor of my anxiety, my mom has been very against me getting more but luckily my boyfriend loves my dolls and asks me about them and hypes me up about them bless his heart. I admit they're expensive, but it's a burden I solely bear as best I can to circumvent a feeling of burdening other people with it.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? (e.g. too much persuasive talk from others, fear you won't have enough time for all the dolls, etc.?)
I can't necessarily impulse purchase because I'm such a planner about how a doll fits into my collection, but I feel it more when I see something I think is close to what I want or is something I have been looking for. But sometimes I don't like something and I know better than to keep forcing something.

 

I probably don't have the strength to answer everything, but there is definitely some anxiety. I'm a minimalist and therefore it really bothers me when my living space is smaller because it's taken up by dolls. They create clutter (they have more stuff than I do).

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? My limit seems to be 6 dolls, and it doesn't depend on their size though I only collect MSD and smaller-sized BJDs.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? I'm mixing this two questions because they're one and the same for me. I have a story about collecting obsessively in the past in another hobby related to poor mental health and I suppose I'm still scared I could fall into something similar regarding BJDs.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? I collect several other things besides BJDs, plus my husband also collects stuff, so keeping everything neatly displayed and organized and protected is definitely something that makes me anxious in general.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? Not really. I definitely try to by mindful and have only what my dolls need and sell what I don't need anymore so it can be loved by another hobbyist, but that's not a main concern for me regarding my collection.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? Not really. Luckily, my mental health (and overall life situation) has improved a lot since I had that problem with obsessively collecting stuff, and I have learned that buying things is not an answer when I'm feeling stressed (plus, I don't usually have the kind of spare money to buy a doll).

Do you feel judged by the people around you? A little but, luckily, the persons I care the most about (my husband and my sister) are completely on board with me collecting dolls and they even help me make decisions regarding my doll family.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? I have bought on impulse on the past twice because the doll was a preorder or a limited edition and I was pretty sure I really wanted them (even if I had just learnt about their existence), but I'm not a revolving-door owner in any way. In contrast, I had never put up for sale a whole doll (only bodies are such) till this year so I'm pretty new to downsizing and that's because I have a new doll I want and that one is no longer bringing me the same joy as for the past 10 years.

 

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? I had a limit. I didn't stick to it. Now that it's harder to sell dolls, I'm much more choosy about dolls I buy. I don't buy SD dolls anymore.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? (why having fewer dolls is supposed to soothe your nerves) I'm a mom raising some grade school boys and in general I think the ol mom feels of I could have spent this money on something for my kids comes into it. Other times I am thankful I have something that's just for me.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? (e.g. your relation with toys as a kid/an experience related to theft/damage) no not really

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? (e.g. you generally have lots of other collections/you want the dolls to look nicely displayed rather than stuck one on another) Nope I'm OK with my maximalist lifestyle as long as I can keep things dusted.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? (e.g. you try to have fewer dolls that, in turn, require fewer accessories, etc.) No.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? (e.g. when you're anxious about something else, go through some personal issues - you tend to buy or sell away more dolls - rinse and repeat)
Funds are somewhat limited so it's easy to regret a purchase when shortly after kid #1 needs a cavity filled and kid #2 needs a new bicycle etc. etc. I've also inherited a kid #3 recently who needs literally all the things. I'm not likely to make much personal purchases in the meantime.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? (e.g., they perceive all the dolls as identical and cannot understand why you need so many variations of "the same thing", or "you should spend your money on something else", or "they take up so much space")
No, but I also don't share my collection with everyone. Those that have seen it tend to keep their comments to themselves.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? I like all my dolls to be fairly unique, so sometimes a doll arrives and I find it really is too similar to the other dolls that I actually like better. Or maybe the scale doesn't fit. Or maybe the posing is obnoxious.

Kids keep me so busy, and I want them to have so many amazing experiences, so spending money on myself and my things will likely continued to be paired with Mom Guilt until my kids are grown.

 

It's like you're reading my mind here.

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? My limit has varied over my 16 years in the hobby. At first is was one, then three, then six, then 13.....then some how I hit 39, freaked out and sold a bunch and said under 20 at all times. Most recently though, I've realized it's not the actual number, but how I feel about the dolls. I can be totally overwhelmed at 16 when I'm not feeling connected to the majority of them, but I can also be content at 30 if they are all satisfactorily complete and "right" and I am connected. So I guess it's more about quality than quantity. Size does matter though, as I only have space for around 23 dolls in the 1/3 range (my main dolls), but a lot of space for the teeny tinies (under 20cm). A lot of the tinies are also off topic, so there are blurred lines as to how many I actually have. (Current breakdown: 22 SD (plus one incoming and 7 floating heads), 1 MSD, 1 YoSD, 8 on topic tinies, 27 off topic tinies (plus 6 incoming--these are the Penny's Box blind box bjds, so relatively cheap next to most bjds.)

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? I'm very picky about space, organization and neatness. Clutter stresses me out, and it feels dirty, even if everything is clean. I start feeling crowded, especially since they all have to fit in one tiny bedroom. All of the dolls have to have a space to sit, I don't want them stacked on each other (other than Natasha being in Opaline's lap). They also each have to have their own labeled tub for all of their individual things. I also am bipolar* and in my manic episodes, I tend to impulse buy a lot then regret it after the episode passes and start getting stressed and depressed by it all. Major buying and selling periods are often indicators of my mental health not being so good.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? Kind of? I fully admit I was spoiled as a kid with toys. My parents didn't regularly give me excess toys, but I did get a good haul for Christmas and birthday and occasionally something small here and there at random or for holidays, but my grandpa worked at the landfill and knew everyone in town, so when people he knew brought in boxes of toys from cleaning out their house, he'd just bring it home for us to play with instead of throwing out perfectly good stuff. So I ended up with a ton of toys, to an overwhelming level. And it was great! I continued collecting as a teen and young adult, mostly dolls, and at one point I had over 300 fashion dolls. I loved having all these things, but also often felt weighed down by it, but felt I'd never be able to let it all go. I sold almost all of these toys to get my first BJD, and it was so...freeing?...to have all that clutter gone and just get a few bjds. My place felt clean and neat for the first time in my life and it was so nice! So I do think back to those times and how it looked like a toy store exploded all over my place, and I never want to fall back into that mess again.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? Yes, absolutely. Dolls and video games are the only things I collect, and both are very organized. Everything else is pretty minimalistic, and there is no random clutter.

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? Not really? I don't throw my dolls/doll stuff in the trash, I sell it secondhand.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? Yes. As mentioned above, I'm bipolar and it does often cycle with my depression or mania. I also often find myself buying stuff as retail therapy, then selling in a panic when I get overwhelmed or feel guilty for having so much. I tend to sell a lot when I'm feeling hopeless, too.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? No. My sister and most of my closest friends are in the hobby and get it, and my mom, husband and friends not in the hobby have their own hobbies and collections and get it. I don't really give a damn what others think about it. Not their money, not their business.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing?
Purchases: Usually when I want "retail therapy", am manic, have a big chunk of money that doesn't need to go to anything else, or get too many creative ideas at once and can't seem to focus on anything other than obsessing about making these ideas come to life
Downsizing: Usually when I'm overwhelmed with clutter, feeling crowded, wanting freedom from material things, depressed or stressed out. Or needing money. Sometimes too when I'm stressing about a major life event. My life is pretty stable, I've been in my house for 15 years, with my husband for 18 years. But we've had a few false alarms over the last few years where I did think we might be moving or having to make some major changes, and it would be a lot easier without 50 dolls....(mostly off topic tinies, but that's besides the point.)

*Sorry to bring my personal mental health into this, and if I need to delete that part, I will. I usually try to keep that to myself, but I definitely think it's relevant to this topic. Bipolar and anxiety highly contribute to my buying and selling habits, and my doctor is sending me for ADHD evaluation this week, which would also explain a lot of my activity in the hobby. Maybe one day this revolving door will close.

 

Definitely a worthwhile question. What 'too much' is can look vastly different between people. I love hearing in-depth about the why's and in's and out's of other people's collections too. Some folks have that one, single doll, or two-to-four dolls that they spoil for years, and the idea of more just does not appeal.

What is your limit? Does it depend on the size? I don't have a hard limit on most things- cost within my feasible means, size usually no taller than 75cm, etc. - but when it comes to number, it was an average of 85 elves for the last few years, and I knew it was too many. I'm now flirting with 70 again, but had it down to 64 / 65, and I'm hoping to one day keep it around 40-50, maybe lower. It sounds like a lot, but the important thing to remember is that I count all of my elves including the small ones, which make up a significant chunk of that number despite taking up the least space.

In an ideal world, I don't think I'd own more than twenty-some, and preferably less than that. But at this point in time I think it will take me a while to get there, if I ever do, simply because it's harder to send out than to bring in.

What are the reasons deep down why you feel anxious? Admittedly some of it comes down to money. I have never been able to find a job that pays high enough for me to move out and away from my family. The elves are expensive tenants, but the depressing thing is that if I stopped spending any money on personal hobbies and saved every cent today, or even two, five, seven years ago, I would still not be ahead enough to make it in the long run. Bills / living expenses are simply too high versus what you make in the here and now.

The stagnant state of our secondhand market versus the over-saturation of constant preorders is anxiety-inducing. A hobbyist can no longer purchase something and know that it will sell if it doesn't work out. Every time I bring in a new doll now, even one I've wanted for years, I question if I've made a mistake as I watch things I no longer use sit on the marketplace. I have also lost quite a bit of money to scammers in the last four years- over $1000, down from over $2000 which I was able to coerce via bank assistance / threatening legal action. With the updated US income tax laws now backing us all into a corner when it comes to reselling our possessions, I feel forced to 'get out' before things get any worse.

Is your anxiety triggered by something that happened in the past? It's a combination of past and present. Right now the BJD hobby doesn't feel like as good a place to be, to me. There's an unceasing uptick in bad behavior, thankfully more in the wild west of social media than DoA. Also a general lack of creativity. Where you used to have posts about doll characters, stories, crafting, etc., it's box opening after box opening, placing the emphasis on the getting rather than the having.

I have been at the receiving end of (mostly) seller / buyer -related bad behavior, and feel a general depression when handling my dolls that was never there before. The outpour of creatives in our community always helped fill the lack of other nearby hobbyists to enthuse with.

I have also had to sell off half or more of my elves on multiple occasions between jobs, or to pay for various expenses. It's part of the cycle, but it also makes me question in retrospect why I bought so many before selling others while my income was good in the first place.

There is also the matter of space:

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your general struggle with clutter? Yes. I have taken the initiative to downsize other collections in the past / present, and keep everything within a relatively restricted space. There are certain shelves for Transformers, designated containers for various action figures... BJDs have a set of cabinets, vinyl dolls and Blythe have one, and there's a box for off-topic 3D printed ones. I avoid stuff like the blind box BJDs entirely, and try to put that money back towards my 'main' dolls.

The thing is, I am always taking the initiative. I am the self-starter. If I don't, nobody else does, and no matter what I try to get rid of, it becomes an uphill battle if a certain member of the household is interested. I live with a very clean, very organized, well-meaning hoarder. And I cannot deny that I fear becoming like her, especially when I see myself clinging to things I haven't used in a while. Any collection that gets to this size becomes the subject of intense self-scrutiny later, because I live in the kind of house where all the primary school craft projects, all the lost teeth, all the x-in-law's outdated clothes... everything gets packed away because, "We'll need / want that later!" or "It was a gift!"

Does this anxiety have anything to do with your sense of sustainability/eco-friendliness? I can't claim to be knowledgeable or politically correct on this issue. But I do recycle, and believe that finding more eco-friendly solutions to what we make, use, and touch is common sense- whether or not the globe is warming, we should make the best effort possible to care for and sustain the place we live in.

That said, I definitely see the lack of sustainability within the hobby. Between the wobbly world economy, the wide and ever-expanding catalogue of recasts and their influence, and again, endless preorders 24/7, it's hard not to see the hobby as much more than a shaky foundation. Like fast fashion but without unfortunate third world countries to dump unwanted / used product on. What I would like, more than anything, is to downsize without regret, stick to some elves I enjoy, and lose the urge to paint / photograph new ones. To gain back more of the creative energy I once associated with them.

Does this anxiety come in cycles? An excellent question. I think it stopped coming in cycles a while ago and became a permanent resident as the number of dolls that stayed grew during a period of having a stable income at the expense of health, well-being, and time.

Do you feel judged by the people around you? Only sometimes. I get occasional complaints from the family; "You could have put that money towards bills" or "You could have gone back for a degree by now". But at this point, even they admit that the current economy / job situation is a wash, and they don't know what I'd pursue at uni. We just set a record for unemployment within the state, and I would never have pursued the jobs we have with my skillset.

Space has never been a complaint because I've always stayed within my lane. Our house is full of windows; doing otherwise would mean premature yellowing.

What are your main triggers behind the impulse purchases that end up being then the first to go/be sold away? What are the triggers behind downsizing? Downsizing Triggers include:

• 'This cabinet is too crowded'
• 'I'm running out of shoes'
• 'If I keep <current elf>, that will lessen space for <future elf>'
• 'I haven't played with this one in so long. Do I really want to keep them?'
• 'I have no money and too many elves'
• 'This job is toxic and I need money for an exit'

Impulse triggers are harder to pin down. I used to struggle with boredom once my collection neared completion. I wanted something to fiddle with and work on, so I'd buy a new head or two. But then I'd need bodies, and before I could get them, a head or doll I'd actually planned would come up, and so I'd end up with three or five projects instead of one. And before I could get them all done, the process would repeat itself, requiring an impossible amount of hypothetical bodies and space. When I ended up storing a couple of bigger dolls in padded bags and had three boxes of floating heads, that was when I finally said, "Okay, this number needs to shrink."

I also struggle with seeing a thing and intensely wanting it. A lot of the features I like in sculpts used to be rarer / reserved for limited release, and I need to accept that is no longer the case. Nevertheless, the 'Fomo' syndrome has become harder to fight now with the sudden nostalgia boom for certain 'vintage' BJDs, more artists only doing one preorder, and companies or dealers suddenly shutting down or going rogue. With the last three BJDs I've brought in, I have made myself wait for a day or days before taking the plunge, to see if the urgency goes away. If it doesn't, I feel more confident that this is a good purchase, but if I can forget about it, then obviously that money was meant for other things.

Something that helped this was shortening my wishlist. Looking at it and saying, "But realistically, how much of this would you want to own on top of what you already intend to keep?" And that one question cut it down to a fraction. It's helping me think through what I set aside too.