Is it "wrong" to let younger kids have BJDs?

Don't get me wrong - I love my dolls. But I don't understand why anyone would care unless it's a danger to the kid. It's an object, a piece of resin - a few of them are in the same price range as an American Girl doll. If you say it's wrong for someone to have a belonging based on age you may as well throw race, religion and sexual preference into the mix. Who am I to judge?

 

Wrong sounds a bit judgmental to me, more to the point is whether it's reasonable to give a child a $500 toy. When I was a kid I had a porcelain doll and was told that this doll was special and had to be taken care of in a different manner than just an ordinary toy. If a child is old enough and responsible enough to grasp this difference it sounds to me like a great way to make said child into an adult who has respect for things of value.

 

I think it all depends on the person individually. I'm going to use the movie Coraline as an example XD
When the makers of the movie were interviewed about it being too scary for most children, they responded by telling them it depended on the child. There were some 5 year olds who had to leave the theatre, but there were also others who absolutely loved the movie.
Same kind of thing with dolls. There are those who are completely immature and can't handle things of value, and then there are some who can.

 

Alright, two things: One - when anyone starts a topic 'is it wrong' there's always dismissive posts picking out why the choice of words was bad. I think this is a waste of time, because clearly, the point is getting across, regardless of the semantics. Anyway.

Two - The general opinion in this thread that 'can afford to buy BJDs for their children' = 'doesn't care what happens to them' is false. Just because a family has money to be able to do something like that doesn't mean, at all, that they don't care how a child treats the toys they're given. Well-off families don't get that way by spending carelessly, and if such a family were to give something expensive to a child, one would think they would use it as an opportunity to teach the child responsibility and how to care for such a precious thing.

Personally, I'm childless, and have no plans on becoming a parent to anything that isn't held together with elastic string or covered in fur. If I were to have children, it would depend entirely on the child if they were allowed to have a BJD of their own. I think, however, it would be an interesting way to teach a few lessons about the care and handling of something of that caliber.. lessons that could be carried over into other aspects of their lives.

Dictionary.com defines 'doll' as

However, doll and toy are not necessarily synonymous, especially in the case of these particular dolls. Plushies (for example) are meant to take a beating.. to be crushed and drooled on and thrown in the washer a thousand times. These, not so much. Besides, how many times have you pinched your finger in a joint? Or gotten otherwise injured? I know I've bled more handling these than I ever did my barbies as a child.

I think, overall, no younger than 12, with customizing unsupervised no younger than 16.

 

I like that XD I'm 14 and I'm saving up for a doll, but there is NO WAY I'd ever try customization with my unskilled hands!! Lol!

 

I did say unsupervised for a reason. Between the dangerous chemicals in the sealants and the toxicity of resin dust from sanding, I think that adult supervision is absolutely necessary until probably 16, just to make sure the proper safety measures are in place.

It's not an artistic thing, really - there are kids out there who are better with a brush than I will ever, ever be. It's a safety thing.

 

Giving a very young child a bjd would be foolish considering the small parts posing a choking threat. But a child who is beyond the stage of putting things in their mouth... well then it simply depends how much preserving the doll in it's pristine condition means to you. Because if a child is given a gift she (or he) must be allowed to enjoy them and that may well cause wear and tear on that gift.

Some children are very good with their belongings and look after things well. Some need adult guidance to remember to put things away appropriately. I have a vintage doll from 1974 (I was 7 years old when I received her ) and she stands today on my computer desk looking pretty much identical to the day she first was pulled out of her box that long ago christmas. (Original clothes and shoes as well!)

I have an 8 year old daughter now who I would have no issue with buying a bjd for as a major birthday/ Christamas present if that is what she had her heart set on. As far as appropriate gifts I am FAR more concerned with children receiving puppies or kittens as presents at a young age. A doll is what we choose to make of it but a puppy is a living, feeling breathing being and there is no debate on that.

 

It depends what you want your doll for. Personally, I think that leaving a BJD on a shelf all day is much better than leaving a BJD on the floor or under a pile of clothes, or flung in a toybox with less expensive playthings. A BJD isn't like a pet, you don't need to give it attention and it won't cry if neglected. A BJD won't care whether you play with it or display it in a cabinet. Not everyone wants a BJD for the creative aspect, some people just like to collect them and display them, and a BJD is probably a lot safer up on a shelf than being dragged around the house.

There are some children who are very careful with their belongings, and there are some children who are very careless. It's a parent's job to recognise that sometimes, very expensive luxury toys and their child might not mix well. It's every parent's nightmare to buy something expensive for their child and find it broken or abandoned at the back of the wardrobe. I think it also helps a child appreciate the expense and the luxury of owning a BJD when they have worked towards the goal themselves - it also makes them less likely to neglect or abandon the doll because they put their own hard work into getting their doll.

My parents would not have bought me a $600 doll, and I was a child who respected delicate things. I will not be buying $600 dolls for my own (future) children. If my kids do want BJDs, they'll have to save for them. I wouldn't mind putting up 25% of the doll's price and paying the shipping and customs fees if my child put in the legwork and raised 75% of the cost of a BJD themselves. It would at least prove to me that it isn't a fad or a phase and the doll would be appreciated.

I think anyone under 10 is probably too young to own a BJD outright particularly as part of the joy of owning the dolls is sharing them with other collectors and most kids under 10 won't have access to BJDs and anyone under 13 can't register on most of the online doll forums which takes out that avenue of sharing their dolls. I think co-owning a BJD with an older sibling or a parent might be alright though, you can have an extra bonding experience through assembling and painting the doll and choosing wig/eye combinations. It can also be a good introduction to sewing and knitting, which are useful skills.

 

As a mom of a 6 year old boy who is willing (god love him) to play dolls with me once in awhile, I appreciate the opportunity to share my love of dolls with him. Since he was 4, he has known that my display dolls can be carefully held and admired if an adult is with him but my display Barbies are not, and I have explained why. We went to some yard sales and bought him his own set of Barbies, Barbie cars and stuff so that we could expand our play with dolls that could take a hit if necessary. When my first BJD came, it was a big deal to me and I had to explain to him that this doll was not only expensive but needed to be treated gently and I set rules about playing with them. And play we do. Currently, he is helping me work on my dollhouse for my three tinies and we are having a ball. I trust him enough to leave them in the dollhouse knowng he respects them and will not break the rules. Having said that, I would not trust him if he was not trustworthy and hadn't shown proper care to the less expensive dolls. I cannot say the same for anyone else's child since all children are different, but if he truly wanted one, I would be willing to purchase a (much) less expensive one for him to try on his own. Luckily, he has found Lego people to be more his passion and I'm ok with that too.

 

My youngest is six as well and she has her own Brownie. She was always very careful with my dolls, I made sure she nursed them sitting down. It took a lot of thought and a hugely discounted sale before I bought her a Brownie. She went and created her own living/bedroom for it and plays very carefully with the doll. She's a real barbie/doll girl. My eldest would rather have a Nintendo DS. I ended up buying her a Brownie as well but mainly because she nagged that it was unfair that my youngest has one. I fully expect to be the proud owner in no time. My eldest has no real interest in dolls.

As to whether a child should be allowed their own doll, I think it is entirely up to the parent. If you're willing to spend the money, take the risk that a child will damage it and destroy your hard earned cash, that's your decision. I chose to let my youngest have a brownie because she was enthralled with it and viewed the tiny I had as hers because she's the smallest in the house as well. I actually had purchased a puki which I wanted to sell because I'm just not interested in really tiny dolls. She was heartbroken because she loved it so I talked her into a Brownie of her own if she'd let me sell the puki. We're both happy now. I put the extra funds into another doll and she has her own BJD.

 

I remember being under 10 years old and given a porcelain doll as a gift even though we were poor. To this day that doll is in mint condition. However, I would say it depends on the child really if they are mature enough and careful enough to handle having a BJD. Especially considering these guys are made of resin and my own personal experience with resin dust poisoning (not from own dolls but by a friend's), I would probably do a practice run with a porcelain doll before I would consider purchasing a full on ABJD for a youngin'. I don't see anything wrong with giving a child a BJD, but I would be wary at first.

 

I don't really get why anyone should determine what is right or wrong when it comes to dolls. It certainly may be foolish to let a child have an expensive BJD but it's not "wrong." I just find too many threads here trying to hand down "right or wrong" determinations. Such things really don't apply. Who are any of us to be judge & jury to decide these things?

Perhaps a better way to ask such questions is to discuss the pros & cons of these issues rather than asking for a value judgement. Nothing having to do with dolls, except perhaps scalping, has an absolute right or wrong answer. It's up to each individual to decide what works best for themselves in regards to their dolls. Now off my soapbox & back to the question...

As I said, it may be foolish to give an expensive doll to a young child but even then it depends on the child. Some are very careful with their toys & could handle & properly care for a smaller BJD. Others would destroy it in hours. So it's really a case by case basis. And there are vinyl BJDs that, while not allowed on this forum, would be entirely acceptable alternatives for children.

Let's face it, these dolls are fun & why should we limit the fun to adults only?

 

i think it depends on not only the child, but the parent/doll-gifter as well. if the kid is just interested in a doll to play with i think there are much less expensive options that could fulfill the same purpose, but if there is a genuine interest in BJDs specifically i say go for it provided:

1) the child understands/is interested in the work that goes into caring for the dolls
2) the child's desire for the doll is enduring *not a passing fancy*
3) the parent/doll-gifter understands the realities of giving the doll. accidents happen.
4) it wont break the bank to do so

 

I would actually love my child to have a BJD. I could explain what the true value was, both artistically and monetarily, and the child could learn responsibility and love for something that has a lot of value. It would be a good learning tool, I believe.

 

Personally, I would never give a child (my own or someone else's) a BJD. I don't think they're appropriate toys for children and I don't think kids need toys that cost that much money. Teens...well, I would take that on a case-by-case basis. Some teens can't handle it and some can.

BUT...

That doesn't make it wrong for someone who has a different opinion to give a doll to a child. It's up to the giver and the giver's comfort zone. If you're comfortable giving a kid a doll that costs a few hundred dollars, awesome. If you're not comfortable with that, awesome. When I think of whether something is right or wrong I think of moral and ethical issues, and this issue is neither a moral or ethical one. It's entirely a matter of personal opinion.

 

Well, most of the parents I know that have given their children BJDs usually start off with a brownie or Bobobie and the cost is $100 or less. My two brownies were in the $68 range. It's still an expensive toy but if you hit the shelves at Kmart/Target, there are plenty of higher cost toys on the shelf. I think a $500 doll is a little extreme but then I don't have the kind of income that can write off that amount without a spasm of pain.

I've also noticed a little jealousy when people gush "my parents just bought me this doll" and it's a $500 doll that's a present for a teenager. Yes, it bites that people can get given expensive dolls by indulgent parents. I wish I had a set of those myself. Unfortunately, they'd rather contribute birthday money towards a new oven than a new doll. I just shrug, and focus on the next doll I'm interested in. Sour grapes over these things is pretty pointless.

 

i think its fine as long as we take care of it. i'm young in many people's eyes here. i'm 14 and i earn my money to get them and i do faceups and mods for people.

 

I don't think it's just a semantic issue because there are so many value judgments that people seem to want to impose on this hobby. Is it "wrong" to buy a BJD for a young person? Is it "wrong" to spend a lot of money on a BJD? Is it "wrong" to cross-dress a BJD? Is it "wrong" to buy a limited just to customize it? Seriously. It gets to you after the 20th time you've seen "Is it WRONG" in a hobby that's supposed to be about fun.

Maybe "is it Wrong?" are just words that people tack on to make a debate thread rather than general discussion, as I note that there's a thread in the General Discussion right now about "Starting them young" that is pretty much the same topic (BJDs for young collectors). In which case I'd wonder why we need two threads, but whatever.

 

I know a 9 year old that has these dolls and their in better condition than mine, all of the hairs are combed, their always cleaned and their face-ups are in practical mint condition like their clothes XD.
So I think that SOMETIMES it is not WRONG to give it to a child, still one thing,
giving it to a child isn't WRONG in senses.

 

To me, it totally depends on the child. They're all different, just like adults. I still have my childhood dolls. I loved them and took care of them and they're still in very good condition in spite of having been played with for years. As for the expense, many little girls have American Girl dolls and they are very expensive. A little girl in my extended family has collected 10 of them, with clothes and accessories. For the same price, she could have had several bjd's, although they don't happen to be to her taste. She plays with her dolls a lot and keeps them in immaculate condition. If a child loves them, there are plenty of relatively inexpensive dolls and anthros that would be a good choice for a child. They're dolls, after all. The only way I can see that it would be wrong, would be to give a young child an inappropriate doll like (for example) a Spiritdoll guy with the extra "parts".