Is there a unsaid rule about beginners and dolls?

Jiminy jeezus. OP, don't believe that for a minute either. BJDs can definitely be meant "just to have", to look at & admire & enjoy for their beauty. They will last. They're not going anywhere without you. Just as there are no rules for how expensive OR numerous your first dolls "should" be as a newbie, there are utterly no rules for what you "should" do with them once they're yours. Many people have dolls without feeling the slightest urge to dress, sew, paint, play daily, take photographs, have tea parties with, or write stories for them. But if you want to drag them into the sandbox with you, or make them star in daily photostories, or set them on your desk at work every day, or eat with them at every meal, that's just as fine too. If anybody tries to tell you there are any rules about what you should be doing with your own toys, ignore them.

Re the worry about ordering too many at once: Buy the ones you love. If, after you get them home, the love turns out to have been just infatuation, or if you really love them but fall out of love later-- sell the doll. It's much easier getting rid of a misguided love-trip with dolls than with, say, boyfriends.

(And re having jealous small-hearted friends who nitpick over your economic situation, which is none of their business = perhaps better friends are in order.)

 

Unwritten Rules:

Rule 1-- Forums have lots of people on them and people often feel the need to express their opinions--whether valid or wise or true or not. First Rule of Forums (and the Internets) is-- Don't pay attention to the trolls and pretty much anyone who is negative. DoA tries hard to keep negativity off the forum but there are thousands of people here, so it's not always possible. Try not to be hurt by every little thing that is said!!

Rule 2-- In Forums, the Internet, and LIFE in general, try not to pay too much attention to Peer Pressure. Many people here are young and it's still important to them to fit in and learn how society works, but after a while you understand what you should pay attention to and what you can forget about. As you mature, it should matter less and less because you will learn to make your own decisions on how to act--and not rely on what other people say. You will know what is important for you to pay attention to in making decisions--like how important is it to you? can you afford it? are there other things that have priority? etc. Certainly NOT what strangers on a forum will think about your choices!

Is this too much? Will I be labeled as snobby or rich for doing this?

See Rule #2-- Can you afford it? Do you really want it? If you have the money and are not ignoring essential things for your life, then buy as many dolls as you wish!
See Rule #1 and #2-- Ignore the trolls. Ignore strangers you meet on the internet. They should NOT rule your life and make decisions for you! If you wish to grow as an adult, you need to not worry about what every last person in the WORLD may think about the choices you make! It doesn't make any sense, and if you pay attention to them, you'll be stuck in a dark room somewhere doing nothing, because someone, somewhere, objects and calls you a name!

Is falling for dolls like this normal? Especially around the holiday event season?

Rule #3-- Den of Angels is a forum for BJD lovers, which means there is a concentration of people here who buy tons of dolls and means it is full of ENABLERS. --All specific forums are like this. You have a group with specific interests, so "normal" for the group is not necessarily "normal" for Everyone In The World.

But do you really worry about normal? See Rules 1 and 2-- You should not run your life by what strangers say. Try and make wise decisions on OTHER factors that actually are IMPORTANT to yourself and your situation.

Psychologically speaking, if you are in a forum where there are a lot of doll lovers buying dolls, then buying dolls will be common. If you are talking with a group of friends who have no interest in dolls, then your doll-buying behavior will not be common. So on DoA you will find that most people will find buying dolls very normal. Whether it is one doll in a lifetime or one doll a week depends on the individual and their money situation. But you should find the whole spectrum. And pay attention to Rule #1-- there could be someone on DoA who thinks the number of dolls should be this or that, and they are negative about a number that THEY don't happen to like... but you must ignore them!

Around the holidays--there are TONS of special events... like people selling things everywhere, they hope you will buy things during this season. And it is a time of gifts and giving, so people wish to get a gift they like, maybe a doll. And maybe they get money as a gift and wish to spend it on a doll. So there is no surprise that doll-buying may increase during this time.

And here I had gotten into the hobby scoffing and believing I'd only ever like having just a single doll...

Heh. Welcome to the club! Although this isn't everyone's experience, here, it is VERY common! This can be both good and bad, and people outside of doll-owners may not understand, but that's how life is. But this is a common sentiment with almost anyone who really gets interested in something or other!

Do try and remember Rule #3, though... and I mean the Enabling part of it. Don't feel it is suddenly normal to buy every doll you see because someone on DoA is doing it. See Rule #2 and make sure you are making decisions that are right for YOU.

 

Hm,,, the only thing that I can add to this is Don't spend beyond your means If you can afford them then by all means bring your dollys home.

 

When I first started collecting, I had some of the same concerns, AngelicLies. I got very excited and jumped in with both feet, which resulted in placing a whole lot of orders and acquiring a number of dolls in a relatively short span of time. I did it because I wanted to and because I could, so I had no guilt about my purchases in that respect. However, I did worry a bit about seeming like a jerk and taking for granted that I was able to buy multiple dolls when other people had to save a long time just to get their first. For what it's worth, after almost 2 years in the hobby and many dolls later, I've not had anyone say anything negative to me about the number of dolls I've purchased, and I've had a number of people who've been very positive and supportive. (I expect it's that "enabler" thing april mentioned. ;D ) I'm sure there are going to be people who think badly of just about anything one does, but I don't think they're anything to worry about. Don't feel bad, jump right in (the water's fine) and enjoy the heck out of the dolls you've ordered when they make it home!

 

What the dickens?

Noooooooo no no no no no. The beauty of this hobby is that there are so many different ways to collect, and all of them are right. I don't make clothes. I don't take too many pictures (although that's largely because of time and weather constraints). I don't buy a crapton of wigs -- my dolls have one each. I don't buy a ton of accessories. And yet I'm pushing six years in this hobby, although my dolls were primarily purchased "just to have", and I'm a little nettled when people don't think this is adequate participation in the hobby. It is perfectly okay to buy dolls just to have them, and it is perfectly okay to not lavish a gazillion dollars on each and every doll in the collection. I have one who gets the lion's share of my attention and most of the new clothes just because he's flashy as hell. That doesn't mean I want the others any less, nor does it mean I'm neglecting them (you can't exactly neglect something that isn't alive). I mean hell, most of my dolls never leave their carriers except for meetups and the occasional photoshoot. If that's not 'just to have' then I have no idea what is.

It's also perfectly okay to fall out of love with a doll. I'm the type of collector that keeps what she buys for an extended period of time and doesn't resell often. That said, I am contemplating selling my oldest doll. I don't do anything with him, really, and he doesn't 'fit' with my collection anymore (he's an MSD, and all my others are SDs). Does that mean I did something wrong in buying him, or that he didn't 'call' to me? Hell no it does not. It means tastes change. It is totally okay to sell a doll you (general 'you' is in effect) don't like as much anymore, or to buy a doll and find out s/he doesn't look the same way they do in pictures and sell them because they don't appeal to your tastes. BJDs are not a forever hobby, and you aren't married to each doll you purchase. If you were, we wouldn't have a Marketplace.

In the end, OP, the TL;DR can be summed up as -- it is perfectly okay to do whatever the hell you want and don't let anyone -- in the hobby or out of it -- try to tell you otherwise.

 

I plan on getting about two or three in the first go when I finally get the funds . . .

 

There are no unsaid rules like that. It's your money, enjoy the hobby and just be happy. These dolls bring a lot joy to people, it would be horrible if you couldn't even enjoy whats yours. It's you dolly right! (^.^)V

 

This is actually the only 'rule' that I can think of, together with do what you like. If you like that 2000 dollar doll and you have the money: buy him. If you want to do a new face-up everyday: do it. If you'd like your doll to look pretty in a cabinet: it's your party.

The dolls you buy are yours. You can do whatever you want with them. I know that sometimes the peer pressure can be difficult, but think about it. At the end of the day, you're home alone (with your family) and all the opinions of strangers on the internet don't matter anymore. You are the one who has to like your dolls. It's only you who gets to decide what sculpt you're going to buy, how many of them, and how you're going to play with them. All the other people are unimportant.

 

If anyone judges you for how you are starting out in this hobby, their opinion clearly isn't worth your time anyway.

There is no unspoken rule of how your first ever purchases on the hobby should go. You do as you want, and as long as you're smart with your money, and not shirking off any financial obligations you may have, there is nothing wrong with what you buy or how much.

If someone wants to criticize you for it, then they are the one's need to reevaluate themselves. Not you.

 

I totally agree with this! I'm still awaiting my first resin doll, but I know that after he gets here I will need a friend for him, then that friend will need a friend and... yeah xD

 

I have a problem with this issue as well but I myself don't judge people like this
If you want it and can afford it then buy it didn't concern or hurt others, that my policy but people around me sometimes think this is ridiculous
but I don't care anymore because my family support me (not fully but they said I don't have to care about them)

 

I don't think you'd come off as rich & snobby either. Plus, many of us have to plan & budget accordingly in order to get the doll + the accessories ... on the otherhand, I do find it a bit much to those who use someone else's money to get a ton of dolls within a short time >> I don't think it gives enough time to cherish the dolls & grow attached to them, but also it is an expensive hobby ... In the end, it's what matters to you. If you are happy with your purchase and do not regret the decision & did it without shorting yourself off of IMPORTANT stuff (ex. have to pay an overdue bill vs. getting a doll). I think you're fine and people should not gainsay you. I would say ><;; please remember to fund necessities before the doll though because one needs to eat, live, & work in order to get stuff in the 1st place.

 

I was really afraid of being labeled when I first joined the hobby. However, in the hobby, I actually have relatively few dolls (4) and I just don't really talk about it with my friends who don't understand. It's your hobby, so do with it what you want. Just buy a few or buy 60 (just be prepared to deal with the consequences!) and don't let anyone tell you what to do, or let what people think affect your decisions. Buying dolls is not hurting anyone and it's not any one else's business.

 

When I first joined DOA I was worried about the whole unspoken rule as to how many dolls I had bought until I realized there was no point in worrying. Yes I bought 2 dolls at once and a 3rd a month later, but why should it matter to anyone else that I now own almost 20 dolls. I budgeted and saved my money like crazy for something I enjoy, and even if I hadn't why should anyone have a problem with it.

Of course this is the internet and sometimes the anonymity brings out the worst in people, so if anyone wants to make a big deal about what you do, or how many dolls you've bought remember that for all the trolls out there there's even more knights ready to kick their butts.

 

AngelicLies, it's obvious you're not rich or snobby, and even if some random person perceives you that way, you can't control how they feel. It sounds to me that you have been thoughtful and responsible about saving for your dolls and making your choices carefully. And like other people who have replied to this thread, I agree that there isn't an unwritten rule. There are many, MANY ways people enjoy this hobby, and you don't have to compare yourself to others.

I'll just say two things. You and your friend are not going to love your dolls the same way, no matter what, and you shouldn't feel pressured about "who loves the dolls more". And be careful not to buy dolls you don't really want just to get special event items or prices.

Linda S.
galatia9

 

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Like everyone's saying, if you're not hurting anyone...yourself included...then who cares. There's no rules and anyone who says there is, is nuts. They're your stuff. If you wanna order 10 at a time...by all means lol. I haven't even been in this thing a year yet and I've got 6 girls with another on layaway so I know where you're coming from. Anyone who gives you crap about ordering more than one doll at a time or for doing it "too early" is just jealous. Or they're the same as those doll snobs who think anything other than Brand X is worthless. Just remember they're YOUR dolls and you'll be fine. If you want to stick them in a glass case go for it. If you want to tote them around with you all day great. They're not alive (even if we pretend they are) so if you don't "make clothes, take pictures, buy wigs, accessories, etc" then they'll still be alright.

 

I understand. I studied for years, and now I can purchase my own dolls and I feel guilty buying them now. But I know where to get good deals and I waited a really long time. If they are your self expression then go for it! Before I bought dolls I would spend money on manga, comics, or other toys. I guess I grew out of them. Manga is expensive.

 

Hey, as many have said—don't let stupid people bring you down. You don't come off as rich or snobby at all! Yeah, there are some people who do, but they make it a point to...brag, I suppose? Which is not what you're doing, lol. Believe me, I understand--you budget and you buy what you like. That's what I do, too!

We are all at different income levels and savings abilities, and I think it's great that you are able to put aside what you can to buy the dolls you want! So, don't let jerks get you down.

 

I'm fairly new too and sometimes worry I will say something that is incorrect or make a wrong assumption. But, I learned a long time ago not to care what other people think about what I personally enjoy collecting. Don't worry about other people, if you like it, can afford it and its worth it to you, then that is what matters. The only reason I could think not to buy a super expensive doll right away is that if you lose interest after a while, you may regret it.... but that is your business!

Just enjoy, everyone has been super nice on here!