1. Please review the following thread.
    Please review DoA's Rules
    Dismiss Notice

Is your doll habit a dirty little secret?

May 2, 2012

    1. Just recently I've talked to a few doll moms and dads that seem to be incredibly embarressed by the doll family. To me , being an adult and having taken my children out for shoots and meets in very public settings, this is a forgien concept. I can't wrap my mind around being embarressed or ashamed of my dolls because all I see are beautiful works of art that someone worked hard to create and I worked hard to bring to life. Each of my dolls has a distinct look and personality that I cultivated and express thru their faceups and clothes as well and mulititude of photos taken. So when i tried to start up a new doll meet up and suggested a mall {in my other doll group we met at the food court or sitting areas} to my suprise i was met with nearly all of them rejecting the idea because "someone they know my be there and see".

      So my question to everyone is , are your dolls a dirty little secret? Someone ment to ONLY be shared with other doll enthusiasts or do you share your dolls with anyone willing to look?

      Personal experiance has shown me most of the general public will either simply ignore it or {and this is the majority of people suprisingly!} will come up and ask questions very interested and even excited by the dolls we carry. My thoughts are the more I get my dolls out and about the more people will see and the more people can get interested in this wonderful hobby that might NEVER ever know they existed otherwise! And that means more friends to make ^^ and how in the world can that be bad?
    2. I'm kind of the opposite. I don't see any reason for me to take them out of the house. I hardly take photos, no interest in meetups either. Staring and people coming up to ask would both be unpleasant. I don't like attracting attention. Not to mention the dolls themselves facing sun exposure, possibility of damage, etc.

      I love my cat, and I'm not embarrassed of her. She's not a secret, but I don't take her out of the house. Same with the dolls.
    3. I can see your point, but if someone came over you wouldnt hide your cat in another room either id hope. To each their own ^^
    4. I'm with you, for the most part. I'll take my dolls out for meet ups, or if I'm going to privately meet my friend who has a doll, or an interest in my dolls (as in their house, like I did once with my friend). If I was going to do a photoshoot, I'd be very secretive about going outside. I am just not the kind of person who can handle people staring at them, wondering why a grown woman is carrying around a doll. If I were doing I shoot, I'd try to be as out of the way as possible; I might even try finding a place where I'm least likely to be seen. Some people can do their shoots out in the open, and others can't.

      At least in a meet, or with friends at their house, you have contact with like-minded people who you have something in common with, or are just more comfortable explaining your dolls to others.

      Whenever I try to explain the dolls to non-doll people who aren't close friends, I always feel super awkward. I think it's because, first and foremost, I keep reminding myself to not make the hobby sound weird. "Do not make it seem like we're weirdo's". Even if the reception has been pretty positive (for me), I still worry that we're like those Cabbage Patch people who were on TLC and we just aren't seeing it.

      Only one or two friends know, as well as my family (can't hide the packages that come), and the rest are on a need-to-know basis and it pains me whenever I realize I have to mention them. I also think that people will judge (I think I would if I was a non-doll person, so why not someone else?) and they will remember. They might not see it as something that specifically defines me (like, they won't refer to me as "that weird girl who collects dolls), but they will probably remember and think of me as 'weird'. But I do have a tendency to put my thoughts into other people's heads.
    5. I've told my friends that I collect dolls, and I'll take them out with me to the mall or to a coffee shop, but I don't feel the need to tell everyone. My teacher (who is a really good friend) is the only one who actually knows how much they cost and everything. She thinks it's weird, but she's cool.

      If we have people coming over, I put my dolls away, but that's more because I'm afraid that someone will drop them or ruin their face-ups than me being ashamed.

      But I'm also a teenager, so I guess people wouldn't question me/give me odd looks so much if I were seen with a doll, rather than someone older who "should" have outgrown dolls.
    6. yes, it is. only my closest friends and my familly know.

      I have been to a meetup in a mall, but it was not a mall in my city.... I would die of shame if someone I 'know' would find out! why? because most people will judge me for it. and I will feel bad and sad.
      and when I was in school, it was even worse! because there is no way out! you see those people everyday, who will bother you often about your "weird" habits.
      not cool >.<
    7. no secrets here.... 20 plus BJD's can't be hidden... and I love them... so i show them to the world.. ( :
      • x 1
    8. No, they aren't a dirty little secret or even a secret really. I supposed the only thing "secret" about them is the cost, lol. I have taken my dolls out on occasion, and I agree that people generally ignore them and me. Most adults tend to have far more personally pressing matters to deal with in their own little world than to actively go out of their way to notice the grown woman holding a doll. If they notice and give a quirky look, so what. I provided their brain with a bit of novelty to play with and grow on. I have received more positive comments, compliments, and questions from adults than negative. That's just my experience anyway. I actually felt more nervous walking into Walmart with my hair all combed out and poofy than the time I walked in with my doll! Animals can sense fear and weakness, and people are no less. Even if you are painfully shy be bold, haha! You can be confident and still remain reserved.
    9. When I was originally considering buying my first, I had a bit of an issue with the, "I can't believe I'm considering buying a DOLL" reaction, after years of shunning feminine things. But I told myself, "so what, it can stay in my room and no one will know I have it unless I decide to tell them, right?"
      Unfortunately, I was wrong. My mother was so tickled by the idea, she started telling EVERYONE she knew, and some people she didn't - which still disgusts me sometimes when I think about it. No secrets allowed in this family, apparently...

      But that hasn't stopped me from taking one of my resins out in public on trips so I can take photos of him. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still self-conscious about how others will react, but so far other than a few strange looks, people have mostly just been curious and amused.
    10. I admire the people who are bold enough to be so open about their BJDs! I'm one of those people who prefers to keep her hobbies to herself. I don't like getting attention; I don't even like people knowing about my more "socially acceptable" hobbies. XD
    11. I understand people who would not dare to go open with dolls and all :) One of my friend is like that, she's extramly shy

      For myself --> I speak about mine even to people who don't know me too well and have taken my dolls in very public places with me. So it definedly not a secred
      Once I get over the fact that people are looking it don't bother me too much. But I have never really cared what others think about me ... :sweat
    12. I have to say if people have a problem with my dolls I really don't give a crap. My husband and 3 children don't care. They see my doll collection more like my personalised art collection.

      I've been to a couple of ball joint meets and would go again as they were fun. I have a large collection of dolls so if someone comes into my house they're going to see the dolls. They're in my office, studio and are migrating to the display case in the stairwell. If people have a problem with my dolls they have never opened their mouths.

      If someone gave me crap about them would it stop me? Not a chance. I'd probably tell them to go to hell anyway (polite version). I don't drink, smoke or go out and party so who's to say what I buy with my pocket money and what I get for presents during the year?
    13. When I am first meeting people, YES. They hear dolls, they think: an entire room full of Bo Peep porcelain things with manic stares, or a room full of dead-baby replicas.

      I do not tell people I collect art dolls until I can gauge if they're gonna react okay, and not without pictures on hand to show them what I mean, and that I am not a Crazy Dolly Granny at a quarter century of age.
    14. I do not discus the subject with my colleages. They probably do know about uses for polyurethane synthetic resin (they are trained in construction- and civil engineering) but they'll think I'm just weird. At least I will not be able to share stuff about this hobby the way I can do with friends.

      The facts that I do LARP and that I make clothes and costumes are mentioned on my CV though. I've put it in to indicate my sense of creativity.

      But work is about the only place where I do not discuss BJD's.

      A while ago, I did hear about casting new resin into withered wooden dolphins though. Some kind of industrial type resin.
    15. This. :)

      I'm an adult, I'm old enough to make my own choices about what I like and what I do and I don't need anybody else's approval. I'd actually be a lot MORE embarrassed or ashamed to have live snot-nosed brats screaming and acting like monsters than to be "that doll lady". LOL Besides, photoshoots are a lot of fun and I've run out of good places to do them in my house. Outside pix are pretty. :)

      Anybody that really KNOWS me knows about my dolls. I don't throw them in everybody's faces, but i don't hide them either. My boss actually thinks it's cool that I'm a "good mom" and bring my dolls to the office instead of leaving them in a hot car when I'm going to a meet or photoshoot after work. I did not expect a 52 year old beer drinking, car racing, fisherman to think my dolls were cool. haha but he's even taken time to ask their names and what they are, how they work, etc. And tell me it's not weird to talk to them (yeah...he caught me talking to Quinn once...LOL)

      If somebody is going to judge me or put me down for enjoying a harmless hobby that makes me happy...I really don't want their "friendship" anyway. I spent my teen years worrying about what others think and trying to impress superficial people that didn't matter. Now, I live for ME.
    16. I'd like to second, third, and fourth this! Much better to have my well-behaved and pretty resin children on my arm than a dirty ankle-biter. LOL. My boss, and even my area manager, know about my dolls as I bring one to work with me several days a week. My boss knows their names, the names of my bff's dolls that I often have visiting, parts of their stories, etc.

      Do I run about shoving my dolls in people's faces screaming "LOOK AT MY DOLLS!" No. But I don't hide them or have any shame about them. Anyone who actually knows me, knows about them. They are a big part of my life. And while it may seem silly... they're one of the first things I told my boyfriend about. Because if he was not ok with them, it was not going to work.
    17. My doll hobby is not a "dirty little secret", but sometimes it is annoying to be out in public with them because they attract children and questions I may not feel like answering.
      I can also understand why some people may not want others to know about their dolls. Some people, sensitive and worried about what others think or not, do not like drawing attention to themselves. Another thought. . . whether someone personally likes putting their doll in fetishwear, crossdressing them, toting them around half naked, or blurting out "ZOMG he's is so %&^* sexy!", "Does he have the optional peen?", etc. at meets or not, other people may, and some people may be uncomfortable being associated with this.
    18. I couldn't keep them secret if I tried. I was about the go away with a friend of mine at the begining of the month, I took one of my dolls. As I came walking down the garden path with my doll my friend got out the car and opened the back door for me to put him in the car. XD

      I think if you like something you should just enjoy letting it make you happy, even if people think it's weird. If you are happy that's the most important thing. :thumbup
    19. Nah. Everybody in my family knows and I tell my closest friends. I'm shy and keep to myself a lot, I don't need to tell everybody and I don't take my dolls out because I'm really paranoid with the dirt and sun and whatnot. But I'm not ashamed of them.
    20. While my doll isn't a secret, I definitely don't put my BJD habit on display. It's just not a big deal&#8211;if someone's interested in my hobby, then that's that. And if they're not, then oh well. I don't find it shameful or embarrassing in any way... It's just something that I do, like baking.