"Its a doll, its not a real person."

I disagree, lovefromwcu. And I agree with most of the other posters here.

I will say that I am an avid reader of fiction, and I have been playing RPGs since I was about 14, so over 10 years now. I finally got my first doll a little over a week ago, and I talk to her and about her. She has a name that is not her doll sculpt, and she even has a background and character history, because I bought her to represent one of my RPG original characters.

I realize she's a doll. I realize I can take her head off and pull her arms and legs and feet and hands off and I can wipe off her entire face and pull her eyeballs out. Of course it's a doll. But there's also that bit of me that's in "her". She represents something real and dear to me. Her "character" is not who I am, and she's a good companion.

I also agree with the Spongebob poster. An imagination is a great thing, and I think so many people try to repress theirs or the imaginations of others around them. Just know that without imagination, we wouldn't have half the inventions we have today. It's what drives us, and it's never been a terrible thing.

But yeah, it's hard to be that way with people that don't understand or follow the hobby. So just take it with a grain of salt. Your friend obviously doesn't feel that way about things, and that's okay too.

And for all those people that are like "Why would you take it outside and get looked at weird and blah blah blah". I find -nothing- wrong with sharing something you're passionate about with other people, regardless of how "weird" it is. And I've had my doll just over a week and she's already gone to a BBQ with me and the movies. Dolly exhibitionists unite! :P

 

Hmmm...I don't view my dolls as "real people", initially they were characters in a way, the same way an author has. Each has a brief, vague, story that helped decide their clothing and hair styles. I love to read and write though, so...
I have never felt bad removing heads and the like haha, weird because, well, it looks odd!

Over the years they have become precious to me, in the same way some of my jewelry is. I'm not belittling my attachment, it's just changed.

I'm not sure that makes sense

Either way we each view our own dolls differently, I have nothing against those that see their dolls as people... To each their own, it isn't about what others think, it's about you.

 

Shlee,

I do agree with what you're saying. Don't get me wrong, I love showing off my prized possessions and hell, I've even told people that if I could save one thing in a fire, it would be my PS3 because of all the memory on the hard drive and all the time I've spent with it (now I'm the one sounding a little off), not to mention how much it cost when I bought it and I know I couldn't get another one like it at this point. Of course, that was before dolls came into the picture. I also agree that imagination is something that is imperative to a healthy mind. That being said, it isn't healthy to treat your inanimate doll as a living, breathing person with emotions and feelings and then get offended or act out when others remind you that it is, indeed, an object. As long as you're not doing that, I say let your imagination be free and do whatever you want (within legal boundaries, mind you).

 

i've really only been in this hobby for about a year but i just love it. Its a real de-stresser for me and i just really enjoy collecting. the majority of my friends know im strange lol and most of them let me talk about it. I try not to overkill it though since i do understand that they aren't in the hobby and dont really understand why people love them so much but i am thankful for the majority of my real friends and family that are understanding.

For me though, in relation to the whole talking to a doll and stuff is not really my thing but i dont want to disrespect other people by forcing my "just a doll" opinion on them. I mean, obviously its just a doll, i think thats clearly obvious, but i dont feel the need to be rude and tell someone that. i mean, come on, so what if they like to treat their doll that way who am i to say that to someone just to be mean. to each their own ya know? But i think with people that are not in the hobby it really should be kept at a minimum only because it could be uncomfortable for that person, and if you do that in front of that person you kinda more or less should expect that reaction.

 

I agree with you completely!

I love all the creative aspects of this hobby: faceups, sewing, photograpy, backstories, characters, photostories, etc...My dolls all have names, characters, and stories and it's a lot of fun and a good creative outlet. The thing is, I know my dolls are dolls and are no more alive than a sketch of a character of mine would be. They're just a 3d representation. I think it's delusional to actually believe your doll is alive and even get upset when someone tells you the truth that no, it's not alive it's a plastic doll. There's a difference between being creative and being out of touch with reality.

 

I think the issue here is not that she's deluding herself into thinking that it's real.

I think the issue here is that she sees her doll as the character, and while the line isn't blurred between real and not, she feels like her friend didn't respect how she felt about the doll.

I know I say "her" about my doll all the time, call her by name, and I even comment on what she'd be saying at any given moment. It's just one of those things. But I also know she's a doll, even if I talk to her. And I would feel bad if a friend or relative didn't respect that she has a special meaning to me and that she represents a character that's dear to me.

I think that's where the hurt came from, not because she was like "OH NOES IT'S NOT REAL!?!"

 

I totally agree on the point Shlee makes - I have a teddy that my great grandma gave me when I was born, and all my friends know that her name is Pauline, and that she means a hell of a lot to me, and that she has a personality, moods, and I love her. I know that she is a toy, and that she can't talk etc etc, but I still get wild when people tell me that she is stupid and childish. My anger is directed at their lack of care for me and how I feel and think, not at the fact that they don't like Pauline.

 

I'm also agreeing with Shlee and MissCarrion. To me my boys are special in their own way because their characters are a part of me and they are sort of like a physical embodiment of those characters where you can actually hug them, like a teddy. I have fun imagining what they feel or ask them what 'they' want when I go shopping for things for them knowing of course, whatever they'll end up with is according to my taste. I don't have 'conversations' with them nor do I bring them out in public (heck, I live in a share-house so they don't even go out of my room!) but I do drop the occasional random comment/question like, "Hmm, you know this really isn't your colour". It's like talking to your pet but you don't expect them to reply you in sentences.

I refer each of them as 'he' not because they are living breathing humans but because they are, by character and by anatomy, male. How is it any different than my calling my stuffed toy lion 'he' or a guy calling his 'baby' car a 'she'? Granted, it does prick a little when people brush off my boys as insignificant objects and quick to point that my thinking otherwise is queer. It pricks not because they aren't objects but because they diss off my creation - the characters who I hold dear and they don't respect my feelings for it, so they in fact diss me off. Of course, trying to explain this to my non-doll friends is like trying to teach a rock to sing... I'd have better luck with the rock. It's a lot like appreciating art where some can see the story and feel the emotion in a painting while others only see it as a well designed picture so I feel sorry for them for only being able to see things in one dimension.

 

i treat them as my sons and daughters .

but i will never talk about my love, their names,their stories to those who have no understanding or love of BJD.

they deserved true loves.

 

I think doll owners say things like that about their doll because we pour so much love into them, and even though it's true they aren't real people, we do treat them a lot of times like companions.
I completely understand where you're coming from, but don't get upset, I guess it's just a bjd-owner thing ;D

 

a doll is another thing than a person. with a doll you can do what ever you want, and you cant do that to a person. I think that to talk to dolls as they was real humans is just natrual... i talk to my dolls when nobody is around... its okay

 

I've spent my entire life pretty much in a world of make-believe (when reality doesn't do that annoying intruding thing, and quite often even then just to cope). If someone who is supposed to be a friend truly has a problem with how I would and will act regarding dolls (don't have my first yet XD), they are going to have a lotttttt of other problems with me that have nothing to do with BJDs.

Try telling a guy who likes WWF that so-and-so is not actually a real person but an actor, and what goes on in the shows really doesn't matter. He may admit it, but if you get a real fanatic, they'll be like "you just don't get it." Huhhh. Sounds familiar! Basically, people just need to have respect for other people's abilities to be interested in something to the same obsession level that you are, whatever that something happens to be... assuming it's not stupidly dangerous or something. ^^;;

 

your point of view is so heart-warming, and I totally feel like you towards all of my beloved "things", being them a doll, a teddy, a cactus or whetever... :3

 

I've always been pretty laid back about my dolls. A part of me wants to treat them more like real people, but at the same time, criticism from my dad and others in the BJD hobby has kept me "in line" so to speak, and more down to earth. At the end of the day, our dolls are inanimate objects, like a mop or a computer. Granted, I talk to mops and computers, saying things like, "Baby, don't fail me now; I really need you to do this for me...", and I talk to my dolls the same way. But when you take a doll's freaking head apart, it should be obvious they aren't real by lack of brain.

I think there's a difference in having fun in the hobby, and being completely delusional, and it is a fine line, especially in this hobby where our dolls look so real. I think it's important to keep yourself in check with reality, however. They're very fine things, like kimonos or silk dresses, but we don't think those have personalities. In the end, the assumption of personalities of dolls should be just a way to enjoy the hobby; it should not get to the point where you visit potential harm on your dolls because "Oh, they'll get lonely." When venturing to public places with my dolls in tote, and I can't take my dolls with me, I stick them in the trunk of my car, so they don't get stolen. They're dolls. They don't suffocate, or really CARE about being put in the trunk, and it keeps them safe. I would NEVER leave my dolls out in the open in my car, because they might get stolen. If I assumed they were real people, I wouldn't take my dolls anywhere for this dilemma, and I'd enjoy the hobby less. See my point?

 

You know, I've been thinking about this. I mean the situation the OP described.

Now, as for me and my boys, I don't think that, short of me developping Alzheimer's disease or something else in that league, I'd ever REALLY think they're real. (Mind you, if I ever developped a disease that affected my brain and made me unable to distinguish between reality and imagination, I'd probably also end up thinking I'm Lyanna Harte, First Chronicler of the Kingdom of Pentra ... *lol*) They got souls. They're anything else than inanimate objects. It's just not how my mind works and how I work. And I mean - it's hard to consider something animate that's been sitting around on your couch with its head off for weeks ... *looks at poor headless Celaran*

That said, of course I do say things like "Oh, Luken would KILL me if I made him wear THAT!" or "Morgan doesn't like that" and stuff like that. That's what I've been thinking about for a while and I came to the conclusion that what I really mean by stuff like that is "The character my Luken-doll represents wouldn't want to wear that, so I'm not gonna put my Luken-doll into it." It's just kind of abridged speech - it's easier and shorter to say "Nah, he no like that."

Let's assume I was mentioning to a friend that "Luken would KILL me if I made him wear THAT!" and that friend would give me an odd look and go "It's just a doll, not a real person, you know?" - I'd be taken aback, too. Not in the "Oh my gosh, you insensitive clutz, of COURSE he's real and you just offended both of us! How can you say such an awful thing!"-way but rather in the "Gosh, you think I'm stupid or what? I KNOW it's just a doll."-way. So - yeah, if a friend pointed out to me that my dolls actually are dolls and not real persons, I'd definitely be taken aback, cos a real friend oughta know me better than that ...

 

Cosign. This is exactly how I would put it. =)

The first time I said something about a doll's preference, my BF cut me off with "it's an inanimate object". I was pretty set back by that, because I thought that even if she didn't want to play the character game, she understood the idea that each one has a "look" and a style that one wants to maintain. After six or so months I think she's come around a bit--she's started suggesting items of clothing to me for individual dolls. OK, I would say "he'd like that" while she'd say "that goes with his look", but at least we're on mostly-common ground.

 

I still don't see a reason to get mad if someone tells you "it's a doll not a person." Even if you don't actually believe the doll is real, it's not something to be offended about. If I were to say something like "oh look there's my future husband Gerard Butler on tv, etc..." and someone says something like "uh you realize that's never gonna happen right?" I'm not going to get offended or think "ohnoes, they think I'm a delusional idiot that thinks they have a chance with a movie star T_T". The only reason to be offended at being "corrected" in something like that is if you're insecure about yourself and being corrected brings up a sensitive point/toxic shame.

As far as myself, and most people outside the hobby are concerned, pretending/believing toys are alive is something small children do, and it's off-putting to see another adult doing it unless they're being humorous.

 

it happens every time I sew...I always think, oh, is she going to be comfortable with this fabric? (I compare it to myself)...
but now, I'm trying to ban those exagerrate thought becacuse I saw some clothes made with uncomfortable type of fabrics (uncomfy for human)...(^o^)...
It truly makes me difficult when choosing fabrics...Sometimes, I want to make with my cute japanese fabrics, but instead of thinking about the pattern, I always think about "is she going to be comfortable?"

I don't really think my doll as human actually only when I'm about to sew...May be it's my habit when sewing something for myself to ask myself,"am I going to be comfortable with this fabric?"...(^o^)...

 

I give my dolls names and refer to them as "he" or "she" rather than "it". I enjoy dressing and posing them realistically, or occasionally inventing and photographing a bit of a story, but I don't actually play with them in elaborate games of pretend and haven't done so since I was a young child. The style of the doll will perhaps make me more inclined to think of it as having one personality type or another but no more than I would think of a flashy new sports car having a different "personality" than a beat up ol' sedan.

I don't think of my doll as human or real so I don't worry about her being lonely, afraid, happy, angry, sad, cold, uncomfortable or such. My husband thinks it's odd enough that I spend so much of my free time making clothing for her. But I do that not because I think she "wants" them or "needs" them because of the weather or something, but because it's fun to spend my time creatively engaged. Dolls make great outlets for creativity simple because they are NOT real. They can wear scratchy knits that would be too hot indoors. They don't care if the neckline is tight enough to choke. They don't have a favourite colour (though they might look better in one colour than another). They don't care if it is the latest style or not. I like working with dolls precisely because they are NOT real so can't complain.

 

I think that the majority of people in the hobby know that they aren't "real people" in a concrete sense, but also know that each doll is clearly an individual and has their own personality, of sorts. Personally, I know hearing "it's just a doll" does upset me a bit, the same way that things like "it's just a car, etc" bothers people that collect other things. I think, perhaps, the caveat here is that dolls are so similar to us in appearance and that they're good for many other things than just looking at or having around that we as the collector tend to become more attached to them than, say, a card collection.

It's true, people that aren't in the hobby have a hard time understanding why it is that doll owners (which sounds a bit odd to me, as does "doll parent") become so attached to dolls. Hey, I have one and sometimes I have to wonder why it is that it's so easy to get emotionally attached to them. Which raises the point that they can't really be compared to casual hobbies in the same way. I see a lot of people make comments that refer back to video games and the like when trying to explain the personal draw they have to dolls. A person may enjoy playing a game, but they usually aren't as emotionally invested as with dolls.

BJDs are a strange thing. The same way that it's hard to explain abstract concepts like love for a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/relative, it's hard to explain love for a doll. You either do or you don't, and when dealing with those that don't you either hope that one day they can either grow to understand and possibly take as much of a vested interest or at least understand that they're something important to you, or you as the owner/collector/parent (however you choose to view your role with the doll) must come to understand that not everyone is going to feel the same with you and come to a mutual understanding that the best thing is to leave the dollie love as a topic between you and those people that do understand your feelings to avoid any discomfort for either party.