"Its a doll, its not a real person."

Of course I don't see them as real people. Sure, I like to say to them: "you're so cuuuute" and this kind of things, but if I'm not in the mood I wouldn't. I treat them carefully, but not respectfully, as if I should cover my eyes when I'm changing their clothes. And if I don't want to play with them they're in their boxes for weeks.

I don't think it's offensive to say "their just dolls", it's just that non-dolly people don't like to hear all our babbling about the hobby for hours. If a friend talks to me about football, I would be like: "yeah yeah, sure...". You can share your passions with friends, but you can't impose your feelings to them, or talk a lot about something they don't like or even understand.

 

Oh something similar happened to me when I was a newbie and excited and wanted to show my dolls to my friends but then I understood that they didn't feel the same way as me so I stopped showing off my dolls to people.

Although, I know they are just inanimate objects and everything, I do have feelings for my dolls and treat them with so much care when I play with them. There is one in specific (my first boy Kyoshi, I refer to him as 'my baby' and everyone in my family knows that I love him like a son) kyoshi evokes many feelings from me because when I see him I feel love, tenderness and just plain happiness. This is something I love about my dolls that they manage to make me happy because I'm, most of the time, a serious person with people and almost to the point of being apathetic towards everyone.

In the beginning, I showed my first doll to my best friend and I was super excited telling her all the things I wanted to buy for him and she was practically uninterested and then she said "why spending so much money on a doll? I would go watch a movie with that money or buy a cellphone"......that hurt a lot but I pretended that her words didn't affect me and just laughed it off but I never, NEVER showed her another doll, not to her and not to anyone that is not from my family. My family understand my quirkiness and my love for dolls, and I don't really care now what other people think about them. I just enjoy what I like.

 

I think it has to do with a little bit of psychology, honestly. For example: imagine you have a pet snake. Snakes do not have many facial expressions. Snakes do not really look like people. But you instinctively feel that your snake may be "hurt", or "upset", or any number of HUMAN emotions. Maybe the snake has them, but probably not to the degree that you, a human being, does. Yet you would still feel as though he did.

A doll is usually even more than that. They're expensive; we've invested a lot of time and money into them. We play with them by dressing them up, changing their appearances. They LOOK like people (mostly!) Just by doing these things, we're expressing a very human response: empathy. We project our emotions onto something that's important to us. Some guys talk about cars and boats as "she". Cars and boats, obviously, are genderless and emotionless. But because they're important to us, we feel that they MUST feel. Emotion overrides reason quite regularly.

So yes, your friend was right: your doll is not a person. But YOU are, and anyone who has ever had sentimental feelings about an object should understand that instinctive need to feel loved by something you love so much. Just because someone's right doesn't mean they have to be a jerk about it. I have a stuffed cat I've had since I was 7. I sleep with him every night. He is on my top five list of Things To Save In a Fire, right next to my purse, my cat, and as many dolls as I can fit under one arm. Do I think my stuffed toy has feelings? No. But I love him, and it makes me happy to think that something I love so much loves me back.

It's a totally human reaction, and nobody should get to make fun of you for it.

 

I was holding my one doll while watching TV once, and my mom walked over and went "You do know he isn't a real person, right?" I think it happens to everyone in the hobby and the only ones who understand the idea of feeling like they have emotions or personalities are the people in to the hobby as well. I don't think it's always believing 'they're real' so much as it is an 'emotional attachment' to them. I know, even to this day, I believe my favourite stuffed animals have a sense of emotion and personality behind them; it's kind of the same idea with dolls.

 

So to add my humble little opinion to this thread XD

To me, my doll is just a doll. An object that is lifeless. HOWEVER, I do talk to my little Mila :3 It's more like pretending that she can hear me. I've given her a personality, and a story (which I would write had my computer not died and now I can't get to it). I don't get offended when people think of me weird for talking to my Mila (namely my brother :P) and honestly I understand. I feel awkward when people start talking to their computer or phone (and I have a friend who named their phone... it felt strange). But while I do talk to my doll and sometimes treat her like she can hear me and has feelings, I still realize that yes, she is an inanimate object. But I still have fun with her ;3 pretending is 99% the fun!

 

My dolls mean the world to me. To me, they ARE my friends. I do consider them like real people and I don't mean to creep any one out like this but I know one of them is sometimes possessed by a kind spirit which I have thought about, is my guardian angel. She will do things or just give me a certain "look" and I can tell what she is telling me. She always makes my tears go away when I am sad. Or when I am worried or stressed she expresses her concerns, sometimes even in dreams! X_X It's crazy. So yes, I do get offended as well when people is like, "it's just a doll". And as some has stated before, that means "they just don't get it". If they don't, that's their opinion and I have my own :P. That's that.

 

After thinking about this a bit. I thought about how my mom would often tell me about tv shows the phrase 'you know its not real, that person you like isn't really like that its just a character' etc...she said it about many things in my life. I don't really care what other people think its my opnion that counts. SO for me they are friends and close companions and that's ok. If they aren't to someone else then that's ok too. Its more about respect I think, like resepcting others opinions about things. My dolls don't hurt me...they let me cry, they don't tell me I'm stupid or anything they are always there when i need them. So for me I just try to let those phrases roll off my back because no one knows how much they mean to you except you. Just a thought.

 

It seems a lot of people don't understand the importance of "fictional" characters to others. Of course dolls are tangible and very real (not just literally...) to their owners, and even if they're inanimate they--to their owners--embody a lot of traits and qualities that others can't see or know. Not unlike OCs that artists draw, or even what Harry Potter is to JK Rowling. Dolls can easily have their own stories and personalities that keep building up. If regular folks would give it a bit more thought I think they'd have no problem accepting dolls, though I suppose they might find it a little unsettling if the dolls were being used by their owners as emotional crutches...and now I'm just rambling.

I don't talk to my doll, but my cousin loves him and she keeps telling me to start talking to it 'cuz she totally does, it's hilarious and awesome :P

 

Of course I don't treat them like real people. Would never shut a person in a box or sand a person's nose down, let alone leave them in a chair for weeks at a time.

BUT, when I am playing with them (as with any other doll, figure, plush, or toy in my house) they are beings and I will treat them as such. Telling me they aren't real will result in a sarcastic "No ****?" reply. I'm not insane, but in my home I will behave however I darn well please and saying something like "You know it's not a real person, don't you?" borders on elitism and good old fashioned rudeness.

 

People place too much importance on BJDs. Probably has to do with their rarity and cost. If people treat inanimate objects like living things, there's a problem. Time to see a shrink, I guess.

 

Of course they're just dolls, not real persons. I know that. On the other hand, I think it's kinda - odd how people seem to want to point out "it's just a doll, not a real person" but not "it's just a computer" or "it's just a car" if you swear at one of those for not working (or try to coax them into working by talking to them - whatever). I mean - basically, very basically, that's the same thing, isn't it? An inanimate object you're talking to. So I find it rather curious that someone might feel the need to point out to me that a doll isn't really alive ...

 

Just about the exact same thing that happened to ho-Chan happened to me. I had been making a moose costume for my first doll, Luna. She was going to be Mini Moose from Invader Zim because I was dressing up as Gir for NDK. I was at a friends house and I had commented on how Luna was looking especially grumpy about the outfit. My friend had said the exact same thing. "It's a doll. It's not a real person."

I've noticed that if a person is not in the doll community, then they don't really understand why people like my friends and I talk about our dolls the way we do. I don't know a single person in my doll community who doesn't talk about their dolls like they are real. We all care deeply about our dolls as if they were alive.

 

I love to personify my dolls and make claims to them having emotions and all that, but at the end of the day it's all just for fun. If someone cut me off while rambling about Daolan's smoking habits to tell me he's just a doll, I'd just respond with "I know, I'm just talking about the character I've attached to it" and move on.
Luckily, a lot of my friends are artists too and they write a bunch of original characters, so to them my dolls are just a different medium of character creation and they don't really see anything weird about it.

 

How many of you see your dolls as real people? And treat them as such and have feelings for them as such? Empathy, Love, etc.

I don't see my dolls as real people. To me, they are very beautiful, precious objects. I am the type of person who takes very good care of her possessions, so my dolls are all well take care of, but at the end of the day - they are just dolls. Empathy, love, etc. are saved for humans and pets.


Have any of you had a situation like this where your ideals were shot down or objected?
How did you react?

Not really. I don't talk to my dolls and I am perfectly happy letting them sit on the shelf for months at a time, if I have no interest in playing with them. However, I do talk about my dolls using their names and gender appropriate pronouns. My husband and I have fun chatting about our toys (my dolls and stuffed animals and his dinosaurs) as if they are real. For example, just recently my husband said "Lena looks sad sitting among all those babies, maybe you should move her to the 'big girl' shelf" (Lena is a Volks SD10 Megu who currently shares display space with my tinies), and I joked that she likes babysitting. Conversations like that are all in good fun and we definitely both know that dolls aren't alive.

 

I talk sometimes as though the dolls are real, but it's just playful talk. I know they're not real (well, we all know... I hope) but they do have expressions and seem to project a sense of realism so it's easy to get caught up in it.

Mine doesn't have a back story and isn't likely to. My husband has decided that his 2 girls are lovers, and mine are sisters... that's about it. We do love taking pics of his 2 and mine fighting with the idea of mine being a snob and the other 2 not liking her for it... but in the end it's all in good fun, and a picture of hair pulling and kicking is hilarious when you manage to pull it off decently.

I wouldn't get upset over a comment like that. If I did, my friend might take it as ''they will get mad at me over a shaped clump of resin? am I that insignificant a friend?'' If someone says that it's because they are being weirded out at a grown person talking to a doll. It's not their fault that they aren't attached to someone else's hobby.

My best friend did come over the day after I got my BJD, her reaction was ''omg it's creepy!'' I just laughed with a sarcastic ''gee, thanks''

After thought... I remember making that comment to my husband a few weeks ago ''It's not a real person'' because he was making comments joking and I thought he was being serious and it was annoying me. So it's not only non-BJD people who need to resort to reminding people that they are taking the personification a little far sometimes n.n''

 

Personally, I tend to talk to myself regardless of whether or not there is someone to talk to. When I'm sewing or knitting and something goes wrong, I'll talk at the stitches with an annoyed "Stop that!"

This doesn't mean that I attribute real emotions to the things that have my attention. I talk to my doll, but that doesn't mean I consider him a real person. A friend once pointed out "Yeah, but you still call it a 'him'." My response was, "Well... It's a boy doll. I could call it a her if you'd prefer?"

Even though I attribute pronouns to my doll in conversation, I also don't have any problems objectifying him as just 'a doll' or 'the doll'. When I took him to the student rec center last week he spent a good deal of the time on the couch beside me. When someone came by and was about to sit on his fragile little body I didn't yell, "DON'T SIT ON HIM!" as I snatched him out of harm's way. I yelled, "DON'T SIT ON THE DOLL!"

I love my doll. He was a very generous gift from a very wonderful, close friend (*pokes Honooko above*). Given the option to take only 5 objects with me if I had to evacuate my house, he would definitely make the list. But to me, he's just a doll.

 

Ahahaa I had a similar conversation with one of my friend about this.

"Get him that shirt."
"No.. I don't think he'll like it.."
"He's doll."
"I know. But I don't like it, so he don't!"

In actuality, I didn't like the shirt because it didn't suit his style, but I was too lazy to explain to my non-doll friend, so that's how the conversation went. I guess because I'm surrounded by non-doll people and because, even if I love them very much, I still see them dolls, so I don't mind addressing them as non-livin things.

 

This is certainly an interesting topic, personally I know that they're just dolls and that my tinkering and customizing of them is ultimately pointless.
Why should that stop me? I don't give a damn that they're just this and just that, I'm having fun, that's essentially the whole point of them being here with me. I do take good care of them, like I do with everything I like. I refer to them by gender out of habit, it's a reaction to their being human, not because I actually believe them to be alive or anything like that.
I do understand the importance they have for people in this hobby, but it's pretty silly to get genuinely upset over someone pointing out a fact. It would be one thing if they INSULTED you for how you treat or refer to them, that would be a different matter. But they are just dolls, and I am certain people here realise that. I don't understand why you need to get upset. I barely know anyone in this hobby and a lot of my friends think they're genuinely creepy, which I find funny because they're making them more "real" than I ever will by being terrified by a piece of resin.

 

I always treat my dollies like real people... They're based on my characters, and my characters are a huge part of my life, considering I'm an avid writer with a huge imagination. That being said, when I'm not with them my boys are sitting on my dresser posed all cutely without a care in the world; I don't put them in pajamas every night or insist that they go everywhere with me, but I'll talk to them and cuddle them...and scold them a lot whilst trying to take photos.

My parents are really the only people I talk to about dolls that aren't in the hobby because no one else really sees my boys. I explain quickly if someone sees them in public and wants to know details, or is asking if I'm crazy (an old lady did that once in our local arboretum while I was taking photos of Kiyoshi...very weird experience). My parents just let me do what I want with them; I've been giving inanimate objects personalities since before I knew what personalities were.

I'm completely aware that they are lifeless pieces of resin; I don't mind leaving them at home for long periods of time, I don't mind flopping them in awkward positions, and I don't mind people thinking I'm a freak because I carry a doll or two around town. I'm aware that it's not exactly 'normal' to be doing that, but hey, they're my boys. I can't help spoiling them. xD

 

How many of you see your dolls as real people? And treat them as such and have feelings for them as such? Empathy, Love, etc.

I don't see them as real people in MY world, but it's fun to think about them as real in their own world that I created. I don't talk to them. However, I have feelings for them because they are my prized posessions! But I love them as much and in the same way as I love my '66 VW Beetle. I feel that each doll has a personality, just like my car does. And if I had to replace them, it just wouldn't be the same!

Have any of you had a situation like this where your ideals were shot down or objected?
How did you react?

My mom usually does this. She makes fun of almost everything I love, but I don't think she tries to be mean. At least my boyfriend is very supportive and helps me pick out stuff for my dolls :3