"Its a doll, its not a real person."

While I don't have a doll of my own yet, my most prized possession is my old, battered honda accord. It's not the best car in the world, but it's MY car and it takes me places and I love it. I wouldn't say I treat it like a real person, but I do sometimes talk to and about it as if it were. I've even named my ridiculously maroon hunk of metal "Chesterfield" for no other reasons than I just thought it fit.

My friends think it's kind of funnny when I say "My car is hungry." Or "My car is pissed because I haven't checked his tire pressure in a while." However, if they were to say "It's a car, not a real person," I'd say "no, really? I hadn't noticed." I wouldn't be upset or anything, but I'd be annoyed because it's almost like they're insulting my intelligence. I know it's not a real person, but personifying it amuses me, so why shouldn't I? It's not like I'm demanding they pretend it's a real person too. xD

No one ever HAS said anything like that to me. I suppose it's different when you talk about your car like it's a person as opposed to talking about something that LOOKS like a person like it's a real person???

 

With the few experiences I've had, people either think they're creepy, a waste of money or sometimes even they get interested in the hobby themselves! I have 2 friends who I told about the doll hobby and both are now saving up to buy one! I show people a glimpse of the dolls and if they ask, I'll go into more detail but other than that, I normally do not talk about them.

 

To be honest, I was confused during my first doll meet when some of the owners were commenting that this doll likes so-and-so, and hates so-and-so, or that this doll wants to go to that side of the table and so on. I was like, "Who? Oh, you mean the doll...". (All in my head though, I was lucky to keep myself quiet ^^)

Same thing in the house, when mother says hi to Frei sometimes when she passes him by. Or even in the office, when workmates come to our room and say hello to him. I guess it's just easier for some people to associate well with the BJD's, what with their life-like appearances. And when hobbyists have a clear-cut personality (and even a rich story) for the doll, then it's much easier to think of them as sentient beings.

As for me, I love my Frei a lot, but I have never felt the need to talk to him, or felt that he wanted to do something. To me he is a vessel for my creative output, a muse. I do sessions where he is portrayed as sentient and self-aware (heck, I even make him post in his own voice!), but outside the lens I do not feel the need to keep up his persona. Sure, I impose tastes in clothing, adopt a particular speaking tone, even a list of likes for him, but nothing beyond that yet. Maybe it will change when I have a clearer personality for him. Or maybe when another doll comes along to "keep him company".

I myself admit to saying "He's a doll, not a real person," but only for Frei, never to other people's dolls.

 

I think this is an incredibly rude and judgmental thing to say about someone. There's nothing wrong with a flowing creative mind and openly showing such.

I've talked to my pets, my stuffed animals and I have 'talked' to my dolls. No, they aren't real people.. but they are very dear to me. They tell stories and are great muse models.
I have never hidden any of my odd habits such as this and I am proud to have a few perhaps offensive titles such as "the creepy girl" "the devil" "witch!"

 

This is quite an interesting disscusion......

I personally like to believe (or pretend, you could say) that my dolls have their own emotions, opinions and attitude towards different things. But of course, i know for a fact that they are not physically alive, as such. (no blood, organs, etc)
I like to refer to them as 'him' or 'her' , and sometimes even as my children. But only to those who i believe to be a trustworthy friend of mine, because i know that true friends would be willing to accept me for who i am. If one individual finds that my hobby is strange , but then decideds to make a massive deal out of it then i won't bother to continue to think of them as a close friend, because that crack and dstance is already made.

I know someone who, once they knew that i'd like to think that my dolls are 'alive', went completely over-the-top and tried to feed him and change him into pijamas when it's bedtime @_@
THAT, is what a BJD collector would not do, because that's not what the hobby is about (that just reminds me of barbies )

 

I would just say "I know he's not, but if he was, I'm sure he wouldn't like it."

 

I mention my dolls name in conversations. I refer to her by "her". She has a personality, she likes things and dislikes things.

But not really. It's a doll, not a person.
I would never say to a friend while we play with dolls things like "She (my doll) doesn't like -insert whatever-". My doll does have opinions about stuff, it's part of the character I created for her.
But she doesn't have opinions about "my" world, only her own. Her feelings won't get hurt if I don't treat her perfectly.
I don't feel sorry for her if I leave her naked, wigless for days. However I would feel it's a shame. I'm not hurting her feelings, I'm hurting my own.

And I actually feel quite embarrassed hearing people say things like "My doll thinks your dolls dress is pretty" and "She likes you". It's a doll. Not a person.

 

LaceandBlood wrote "But she doesn't have opinions about "my" world, only her own. Her feelings won't get hurt if I don't treat her perfectly.
I don't feel sorry for her if I leave her naked, wigless for days. However I would feel it's a shame. I'm not hurting her feelings, I'm hurting my own."

This is a very excellent summation! My dolls are characters - when I talk about how Trey hates wearing flowery stuff (for instance) I may be looking at the doll but I'm thinking about the character I've created (these, BTW, tend to take on a life of their own - ask ANY author....)
Not taking care of any of my things (which includes being careless about displaying them) makes ME feel bad.... It would be a manifestation of my lack of interest in the character.
Now, putting things up in a careful manner when necessary, does NOT make me feel bad. I'd like to own a mansion where I could have lovely displays of all my beloved things (dolls, books, certain costumes, etc etc) but sadly I have a 3 bedroom apartment....

 

This, so much. It's not that Frei feels bad being left lying around in a corner. I feel bad when I see Frei lying around in a corner, because I feel I'm not taking enough care or not putting enough attention to the hobby.

 

For me I know Sherlock is a doll, but I treat him like a person. He has his own chair at my house, a chair that a human can sit in! Like I have it that I feel him giving me a look that a human (I keep saying human in stead of person, because to me a doll is a person) would give to me at different times (ie Are you really doing that look) and I talk to him all the time. Now some of my friends think I'm weird because of this, but then they do know me as the girl who names her electronics all the time. Then I have friends who 'don't get it' but understand that I do 'get it' and treat him like he is alive when I'm in the room. I don't want them to do that just for me, but it is nice of them to do that. (Best thing ever! I kicked my friends butt while holding Sherlock. And he turned around looked at Sherlock and said, "I know it was you. You little bastard.") Sometimes they question the fact of "It's just a doll. Why do you do this?" because they want to know.

I also try not to keep Sherlock out when friends are over because of the creepy factor, yes they can be kind of creepy, and so that I focus on the real people who came to see me, not my doll.

 

I treat my dolls as real people and talk to them. But all my dolls represent characters that I've used years building up. For three years (my middle school years, the worst years of my life), I was an outsider with next to no friends, and as such, I created characters and stories, fleshed - and wrote them out until they became almost alive to me, not in the way of an imaginary friend, but still something dear to me that kept me from being lonely. My dolls are purchased to represent those characters, and while I now have gotten lots of friends, those characters from before keep with me. I know my dolls are dolls, but I still love them. Especially one is very lifelike, another has such piercing eyes, and the last one has so sparkly and animate eyes that I sometimes start to believe they have a soul.

I don't talk much about my dolls to people who aren't interested. I've got a few people interested, some (including my whole family) are amused, some are indifferent, and one I know is a bit creeped out because they're so lifelike, but I've had no experiences where someone has looked down on me because of my hobby, or commented my behaviour around my dolls.

 

Well... I can see myself treating my dolls the same way I do my computer and my plushes. I'll likely be talking to him...but not so much like...conversation.

Luckily, most of my friends know I'm like this, so I likely wouldn't get much grief over it.

 

I'll echo what a lot of people have already said. I KNOW that my dolls are dolls, not real people. Same way I know that my cat and my rabbit don't understand me when I talk to them. It doesn't stop me from telling Hershey goodnight, or promising to clean out his litterbox or give him treats in the morning. In much the same way, I find myself apologizing if I pull Izzy's hair too hard when I'm brushing it, or if her hand comes off when I'm dressing her. I have a boy doll that has a very evil look about him, and I often joke that he's going to get angry if I don't dress him a certain way, or if I leave his wig off for too long. I know that's not the case, but I don't see the harm in it, lol. My friends and my husband don't think I'm crazy, so that's all that really matters. My husband has even done the same...a few days ago, I was dressing some of my OT dolls for pics, and one was lying on the couch with no pants on, looking quite upset. My husband looked at the doll, then looked at me and said, "If you don't put some pants on Lex pretty soon, I think I'm going to have to stay up tonight to make sure he doesn't smother you with your pillow while you sleep..." LOL

 

It's tough to hear someone tell you to stop treating a doll like a person. I have always held respect for all things, including inanimate objects, so I do treat my doll like a person I guess. I just think that I should show care and respect to what I have, and some people don't really get that we have to take care of the things we use, translating emotions we have for our dolls to treating them like people in an undesirable way. Sure it may not actually literally feel emotions, or move, or care how we are holding them etc., but it is also perfectly fine to treat them well like we would a person. Non-doll people just wouldn't understand....

 

Most of the time I don't and when I do talk to them I guess I wouldn't compare it to how I would treat another person. I have Velveteen rabbit syndrome and see things like cars, musical instruments, stuffed animals as having a type of life of their own and my BJDs are no different. So yes I talk to them occasionally and I do apologize if I knock them over or something but I really don't treat them like another person.

 

Society would disagree with you there buddy. Also why be proud of people making fun of you?

 

I'm new to the world of BJD also, ill bet your friend adds feelings to things with out thinking about it. Such as "I don't think my car likes the fuel" or "My computer is hating me today" For some reason it wireds people out to give life to something that looks human like the dolls. My boyfriend is "breaking in" to the idea of them, He thinks of them as just dolls or even a giant barbie as he put it... I gave him the -_- face for that and politely educated him on the difference. After an hour lecture he knows better now and bought me accessories.

 

Because the shame belongs to the people making fun, not their target. Be Proud of Who you are and NEVER let any one tell you who you should be!

 

No one should ever be ashamed of the things they hold dear! I give everything I own a personality and/or a gender :p
its a habit I guess ^_^

 

i have a lot of non-doll friend when they came and see me their surprise i'm having a doll in my room
first they thought it was barbie

after i explain so much to them they still think "its a barbie .... with more detail thingy ... " OTL
i know its hard for non-doll people to understand why we spent so much money just for BJD and why we naming them , dress them up etc
easiest thing for me to explain them that BJD is modern barbie

my mom thought found out i has a BJD and shock with how i treat him
(i talk to him , cuddle and everything)
then she tell me "you know its just a doll right? its not a real human? even though you pamper him , spoiled him in the end he is just a plain doll?"