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"Its a doll, its not a real person."

Nov 27, 2009

    1. I'm really lucky, I always talk about inanimate objects like they have feelings; things like my computer, phone, TV, my dolls, my car, so my friends and family are used to this bizarro quirk and think that it's hilarious, most of the time.

      Don't let someone who isn't into the hobby bring you down, but practice discretion with people who might not be as comfortable with it as you are.

      ...But your friend definitely should not have been so rude. That's not cool at all.
       
    2. I don't see my dolls as real people but I semi-treat them like so. I feel empathy and love and whatnot toward them, but they're not my highest priority in life. Now, if I don't pay attention to them, I feel bad. xD I feel like it's neglecting them, and hurting our relationship. So I simply treat them with fondness and love.

      I don't generally tell my friends about my hobbies unless they see the hobby, or ask about it. Most of my friends who have seen one of my hobbies (doll-collecting, weird fashion-styles) already have abnormal hobbies of their own. So it's all good. :D
      But as for my normal friends, I won't go up to them and be like, "Look at my doll! Last night, he told me he wanted a new jacket, and..." xD Like designermix said, that's like talking to someone about something they don't have interest in. And, I don't want to confuse my friends or make them think I'm crazy.

      Thankfully, I've never been in a situation where my ideals were shot down or rejected. This could be because of what I said a minute ago. The only normal person I talk about dolls to is my mom. And she's fairly nice about it. ;P
       
    3. Unfortunately even some of our closest friends can say jerky things once in a while that we don't agree with. I try not to bring up my dolls to people I don't think will respond well. If someone does say something rude to me about them, I call them on it. Not in a rude way, but an honest way. If they are your friend, they should hear you out and appologize. They don't have to appologize for not sharing your view, but for hurting your feelings about something you obviously care about. If they don't, well, then you know to just not bring that up again with them to avoid that frustration. If they persist on harrassing you about it, then its time to evaluate if they are really a friend or a parasite. You paid a lot of money for a doll you obviously care about, and you have a right to share your excitement with people in your life. I don't think you should walk on eggshells about your excitement, but yes, you will find that there will be a few people who say hurtful things. You just have to learn to guage who you can talk to and who's gonna give you hell. And like others have said, you can't drone on and on or that would drive any friend to snap at you (not saying you did). And just think, you have a great site like DoA to talk to people who think about their dolls just like you do (though not everyone here will as you will learn). Me? I talk to my dolls all the time, but then again, I talk to the cats, and I curse at furniture when I walk into it like an idiot. If you want to pretend with your dolls, GO FOR IT!!! Just because your not a kid anymore doesn't mean you can't have an imagination and have fun your way. I've got almost a decade on you, have my BA, and am married and have a mortgage, but I still talk to my dollies. Even my husband plays along and says my dolls want to kill him so they can have me all to themselves. Playing doesn't make you childish/immature, or imply that you have a mental problem (and I hate when people assume that it does). Most people that have met me (but don't know me personally) would say I'm the most serious/reserved person they know so obviously my imagination doesn't affect who I am as an adult and professional. Ok, I'll shut my yapper now. Just wanted to say you're not alone and I understand where you are coming from.:):aheartbea
       
    4. dollface: You are lucky. ^ ^ I'm going to start going to doll meets, so hopefully I will meet more people too <3


      Devil's Trill: Well, in the situation that happened in real life, I was very obviously joking around. The way he shot me down was not necessary or called for whether I WAS joking or not, anyway.

      Youre perfectly welcome to think that way, hun, no one here was judging you. o _o Youre starting to sound a little defensive.


      madxaboutxgames: Now that I know he's not going to understand it, I'm not even gonna talk to him about it anymore. Haha.. hows that for "discretion" lol

      I'm not the kind of person who forces my interests on other people.


      Cinnasmum: xD I like how you define the people who aren't into dolls as the "normal" people. Lol.

      Thats how I am too. I am not like, totally convinced my doll is a real person. Its just fun to treat him that way. ^^; Thats why it threw me off when he took me so seriously about it.


      GreyLove: Thanks for being so supportive of me. <3 I really appreciate it.
       
    5. I'm sorry that happened Sho-chan. :[ Your 'friend's comment was uncalled for; especially considering the light context in which you were joking about Elliot. If someone's being rude about it then just try to let it roll off your back. I wouldn't see what they said as hurtful so much as the fact that they were deliberately being mean. :/
      I've never had that happen, luckily. ^.^; If a friend doesn't understand my dolls I just joke with them about it. But I haven't had anyone be mean about them.. I've only had family or whatever act kinda cold about it because they see BJDs as 'not worth the price', and would rather I'd have given them the money to help them pay off a bill or something. I don't think one should avoid the subject of dolls entirely with people who don't 'get' the hobby though. Unless they're really close minded and rude. But who needs to talk to them about something so cool anyway? ^.^ Learning and sharing hobbies etc. with friends is a way people can broaden their horizons. Who knows, you might get the most unlikely person to appreciate your dolls.~

      All-in-all its simply obvious that they are dolls, and not real people. But playing around/acting like they have personalities or saying 'oh he looks annoyed' or something of the like doesn't mean someone thinks their doll is 'real'. O.o Treating a doll as 'real' and thinking a doll is 'real' are two very different things. But that's a given, isn't it? I don't see why it's weird to joke about their preferences/personality etc. Its fun! Why be like all the regular people that try desperately to fit the cookie cutter of society? O_o

      But I definitely agree with Cinnasmum. =D
       
    6. I don't think of my doll as a real person, though I do usually speak of them as if they are sentient. Saif and Muniya seemed to have a falling out because Saif behaves badly around Muniya lately. I dunno, it's kind of like writing "you know your characters are fleshed out when they talk to you instead of you telling them what to do" my dolls are some side characters from my work, though they've kind of departed from their roots a bit.

      Most people shoot me down on the price more than how I treat them.
       
    7. How many of you see your dolls as real people? And treat them as such and have feelings for them as such? Empathy, Love, etc.

      I don't see my doll as a real person, but as something really beautiful, delicate and precious to me. So I call her by her name, and even talk to her.
      I try to sew clothes for her, and buy others, and wonder if she would like to wear them if she actually could make the choice.
      It's easy for me to feel empathy for inanimate objects... To some people it's not that easy, and many even consider it weird (not only when it comes to dolls, but objects in general).

      Have any of you had a situation like this where your ideals were shot down or objected?
      How did you react?


      Not yet, but I'd probably feel hurt and try to avoid the subject in the future...
       
    8. Cinnasmum has it right I think. At least that's the way I think of my dolls. People are used to me being weird, and when I talk to my dolls in front of other people it's mostly just to make them think I'm weird and to freak them out. I still have the immature hobby of making people think I'm crazy. :)
       
    9. I don't think my dolls as real but they are characters in my imagination. They are my creations and so I often talk as if they are actually in the room with me. It's sort of a way of roleplaying, I am also a LARPer and my friends and I often talk about our characters as if they are really people. Maybe this just a different type of LARPing. This also probably stems from my family treating me horribly, I am often talked about as if I had no feelings at all, like I am a couch or something. It's sometimes fun to think that if you love something enough it'll grow up to be a "real boy' (Pinocchio complex).

      When people give me weird looks when I talk about my dolls, I point out how they talk to their cars or their computers.
       
    10. I don't see my dolls as real people it's hard not to treat them like they are semi-real haha. They can be too life like not to. I don't talk to them persay. It's more like me thinking out loud on them. I do feel bad sometimes if I neglect them, especially Cain cos he has a pouty-face mold that makes you melt lol. If I talk to my friends about my dolls, I usually just talk about customizing. I said to my coworker once that one of my boys was just begging for this particular piece of clothing and she gave me this weird look and thought I was being literal when I meant I really wanted it and would love to have it on my boy lol
       
    11. To me, everything from the La-Z-Boy chair to the computer to the dolls to teddy bears, all of these things have some sort of empathy or bit of soul.

      Does this make me think of them as 'real people'? No, I realize it's just an object, but it does make me believe there is some feeling there. An imparting of one's own soul into an object or toy - through attachment, love, joy, experience - creates what people could perceive as a 'personality' within it.

      I've been poked at because of this belief and my talking about my bears and dolls as if they had some semblance of a personality to a person who doesn't share this belief. I came to terms a long time ago that I think differently from others. If they want to pick at me they're allowed to, but they'll have to understand that it will open them up to similar ridicule in retaliation.
       
    12. This hit it right on the nail.
      That's exactly how I think of it.

      I've been giving my things "personalities" since I was a small child, maybe I just never grew out of it like most adults do..?


      reitaism: Yeah. XD; They can be too lifelike not to refer to them as a real person huh? I think thats mostly the reason why its so hard for me not to.



      MaliceinWonderland: xD Aaah, Pinocchio complex. Such a cute concept :aheartbea I'm suddenly in love with that idea. XD
       
    13. I'm kinda lucky in the sense that my friends haven't really been so scathing of the fact that I collect them most of my friends in uni who've seen them just refer to them as 'creepy dolls' I dunno whether its the realism or the fact that the one they've seen had no face up :P so now I play along and sometimes get amusement out of randomly pulling one out in class and trying to scare them with it. I know they'll never see them in the same way I do and they sometimes question why but at least they've never said anything to directly hurt my feelings.

      I think the fact that we talk to our kids as real people is part of the joy of owning a BJD and you shouldn't let what anyone says get you down. I think it also shows that you still have a good imagination to still have the call it childlike aspect of being able to refer to an inanimate object as something real it reflects on creativity in my honest opinion. Even my boyfriend who doesn't collect them and in some ways thinks they're a bit expensive understands they can be a creative item and being an artist I don't think he's so closed minded. He's even said a couple of times 'Why don't you make a such and such for him/her' or I can help you make a wardrobe (or something DIYish that I cant do) he's even tried giving me critique on a face up.

      Last thing I don't know if you'll agree with this but being part of such a unique kinda makes me feel quite different and special myself. I'm glad that I can go on the forums or go to meets and prattle on to people about them and I dont mind showing non BJD owners them but I'd hate them to go mainstream like a Barbie doll or something I think it would lose the magic. So at the end of the day I'm glad to come home and see them on my shelf thinking these are my kids and I put all this work into them to make them into something special. Yes I do have the problem of referring to my dolls as 'kids' I guess its cos I don't really know what to call the collective and dolls seems so normal and wooden and that's hardly what they are to me. I dont think anyone would put the money, time and effort into them if anyone saw them as just dolls.

      Okay ramble over
       
    14. They are dolls.

      BUT. They are not just dolls.. These dolls are realistic, life like, pieces of art, which make them more like actual people then other dolls. I find that this makes them alot easier to treat as if they were real people. However I know they are dolls. But these dolls have personality and real character that you can see by looking at them, and looking at pictures of them.

      I think because of their realisticness it makes it easier for us to be empathetic with them, and so sensing how they "feel" comes natural to us as owners of these beautiful pieces of art that we are fortunite to own and love.

      Non-doll people dont get it, and so they to them they are "just dolls".
       
    15. They aren't real people. They don't feel or think anything. What you think of as "their" personality is basically you talking to yourself through the doll. Loosing sight of that is, I think, a bit unhealthy.
       
    16. For me, my dolls are so interrelated with my stories that I fall back onto the same explanation for any of my friends that just don't "get it" and start to make fun of them:

      My dolls take on the personality of characters from my stories (I do a LOT of writing). My characters are usually a bit of myself. So yes, I probably am talking to myself, but please don't make fun of them, because you really end up making fun of me."

      I haven't found a single friend that doesn't stop in their tracks when I give them that explanation. :sweat

      Mind you, I usually don't talk to non-doll friends about mine if I can help it. Sometimes they come up, because all of my friends are aware of their existence, but I usually play it down as much as I can.
       
    17. Hi, well, I totally agree with Foxxian. They are just dolls, but they are also more than the normal dolls we buy at the toy store. I don't know about you guys, but all the dolls I see on this site are very unique and I can see through their pictures that some are sad, some are happy, perky, angry, carefree, whatever... and its true, they're so realistic it's hard to not treat them like semi-people.

      To keep up with the topic though, I was recently making a facebook profile with my friend for our dolls and my Non-doll friend comes and comments rudely. It not only offended me, but also my friend and everyone else who shared the same interest as me. He made me really angry. I just wish he hadn't say anything at all if it wasn't nice.
       

    18. That's your opinion I suppose, though forgive me for finding it a bit ignorant.
      I talk to myself all the time, not just to my doll.
      Everyone has quirks. I don't find myself to be "unhealthy."
      Everyone who talks to their dolls isn't just using them as an excuse to talk to themselves. :doh That's just plain ignorant to assume.
      Besides, giving our loved possessions "personalities" is something we all did as a child, and it wasn't considered weird.. Just because we never grew out of it, it makes us unhealthy?

      I guess you don't think you sound at all judgemental.
       
    19. That's how i see it, too. If someone thinks i'm nutters for talking about my doll like shes a person on a trip, they know enough to not say a word about it. I might beat them up, eh heh heh...

      But then again, there are people who say that pets don't have character or souls either, and that people who talk to their dogs are crazy as well.

      Personally, i don't mind it, i just assume people who don't see the character portrayed simply don't understand and just pour their energy into something else. Its a jerk move to automatically assume someone is sick or unbalanced just because they communicate with their dolls.


      who knows? someone's doll could secretly be their jiminy cricket or something.
       
    20. I honestly don't find it's that hard. They ARE just dolls, not real people. But my friends, ALL of them, know I'm heavily into the doll hobby, have "a zillion" of them, and have invented personalities and names for them all. If asked, I'll talk. But unless there's something I MUST do to a doll and it HAS to be done while non-doll folks are over, they all sit on their shelves. Beyond "oh my GOD I got this awesome new outfit just LOOK at it", my friends who aren't interested in dolls don't have to sit there and watch me play with them/talk about them. Of course, everyone likes when a doll falls off the shelf or whatnot and I promptly scold said doll, tell it not to be so saucy, and put it back up, because we ALL scold inanimate objects when something we don't want happens (you do. You absolutely do. All of you do. You cuss at your computer, kick the chair when you stub your toe on it, etc etc, and no matter how you deny it, you know darn well you do and so do we all). I have friends who DO like to come over and play dolls with me, either because they like them or they have their own.

      So if your friend doesn't seem to be too cool with your doll, just refrain from playing with it while he's over. It's not the end of the world if you don't get to play with your doll 24/7. Trust me. The shiny new-doll smell will wear off soon enough. You won't love your doll any less, but you won't need to attach it to yourself anymore.