"Its a doll, its not a real person."

Hi, Lady Roselie: I would just have to say that every doll lover needs a significant other like yours! I hope you took his advice. I am sure it makes your hobby more fun to have someone who allows you to express yourself and who is playful about it.

 

This has been a very interesting and thought-provoking thread. The rekindling of my childhood doll love came through my connection to a Gene doll (not a bjd). The cool thing was that my three best female friends got into it, too, (especially one of them) and when we went out to birthday dinners, etc., we would dress them up and take them along. This always caused quite a bit of bemused reactions in restaurants! As I have become more focused on bjds, I have found that they conjure up for me some of the magic of childhood and help me cope with the stresses of adult life. They are also a source of artistic expression. My husband loves to make model airplanes, and he understands my doll "thing" in that context.

By its very definition, "playing with a doll" means giving it a character and pretending that it has real, humanlike qualities. It is sad that most adults lose the imaginative ability necessary to do this; if they are unkind about it I feel sure it is because they just don't understand. My friends with good senses of humor think my dolis are a hoot; those without think they are a little weird. I know who is in each group and act accordingly!

 

I have a definite tendency to personify items, although not every item and not necessarily in any kind of predictable pattern. My doll falls into this category in that I developed a personalities for her. I treat her like she is "real," but honestly more like a spoiled pet than an actual person! XD I buy things she might "like" and I talk to her. (My fiancé does, as well; he says we're "his girls," and with the two electric guitars we are "a family.")

However, I have to say I agree with cheshiretiffy.

Forgetting--and I don't mean entertaining yourself/others by suspending disbelief, but TRULY forgetting--that your doll is an object seems, to me, rather unhealthy. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with developing a personality, acting like the doll is real, talking to the doll, etc. I don't want to judge someone based on how they play. However, believing that a doll that was cast somewhere from resin, assembled, and given eyes/a wig/etc.--a doll that you (or someone else for you) purchased is a real person is more than a bit of a stretch.

 

Pah, I talk to my dolls all the time and I'm only a little bit crazy

As has been said before, I am perfectly aware that in reality my dolls are just cast resin, but I am also bloomin glad that I am still able to imagine that they aren't

I often have one sided conversations with them (no you are NOT having that suit Nahemiah, it is $200 ) but I sometimes also do this non-verbally if someone in the vicinity may think I'm a nut-job

I also love how one of my best doll-friends and I can tell what mood each others dolls are in.... it is really funny to be able to "read" someone elses dolls like that

 

I can completely understand why your friend made that comment, and although he may have sounded a little harsh I really don't think you should take it to heart. I haven't read through the entire thread, but I think that we should also keep in mind that in Western society it is traditionally girls who play with dolls. I know that there are action figures for boys, but these are usually based around historial events or real life organisations, such as the military, and although there are many men who do collect these in later life, the majority give up their dolls. Perhaps your friend has never had that emotional connection that you have with your dolls and therefore doesn't understand?

Everyone is different. If we were all the same it would be extremely dull. We just have to learn how to best get along with each other - it may require a bit of work to iron out the kinks, but the effort is usually worth it. Maybe you could try to explain to your friend that you talking to your dolls is like talking nicely to a car when you think it's about to break down on the motorway, you don't necessarily believe it can hear you, but you do it anyway.

 

Well really, your friend is right, they are just dolls. I know we often personify them & some folks treat them like real people & I've even been caught talking to my dolls but in the end, they are simply beautiful pieces of resin, not real people. I talk to my car & my computer as well, mainly to encourage them to keep working but I well know that they're just inanimate objects & the talking is simply me trying to relieve some worry within myself.

If you choose to treat your dolls as little people, well that's certainly your right & can be a part of the fun of having these dolls. Just so you don't start preferring & anthromophising your dolls to the point of excluding real people, it shouldn't be a problem.

 

Dolls are for little girls. If you're not a little girl you're going to be seen as a complete idiot or an insane person for having them. Sad but true.

So if it matters to you how you're perceived amongst the plain-lifers, please do keep them to yourself!

Raven

 

Sho-Chan mentioned talking to her cat. Most people who love animals talk to them. I have 3 dogs, they are a part of my family and I talk to them. Sometimes they really do listen and even do what I ask at times. I'm "a dog person". If you have a dog and others see you with it, they either smile at you or walk by and ignore. When walking all three, some people look at me like I'm crazy. Except that my dolls don't ever do what I ask, I talk to them too! I'm a "doll person". Another lover of dolls would understand and smile...one who isn't into dolls wouldn't...they too would think I was a little crazy. I think that's just human nature and the reason we all live in our own little "clicks" of sameness! It makes us feel that we belong. Whatever rings your bell...as long as it doesn't fall on someones head...is fine!

 

he he dito^^

i'm waitin for my first to boys (i can't wait any longer Q.Q) but when i sah my riend with her adorable little boy i could imagine me that i'm as crazy as she was in that moment.

I remember, when i was a Little child i always talked to my soft toy animals, expected a rabbit...
now i haven't talkwith them for years^^'
but when my dolls will be there i tink i will talk to them. But i can't get helped, for me they are still beautiful dolls.

the eelings they 'have' is a protection of our thougths about it. So every other person could imange an other personality for the one doll you have in your arms. While you see a shy little boy, an other one can see him as a little cheeky devil.^^

I think real feelings have only living beings like humans animals and natually plants. But non-lifin things like dolls have only the feelings we have for them. is anyone think they are sad, they ARE sad, if anyone think they are happy they ARE happy and if anyone fells nothing for them THEY feel nothing. Its like a mirror which reflects your feelings, your thoughts. If she (the doll) say you don't have to worry about it your mind say it and you wished it^^

hm...but in the end, i think i will have other feelings for my third doll i'll buy. Because he is a character of one of my stories and he is nearly one of my personalities.
call me crazy but i love this non-existend person more than everything in this world. (everything not everyone - i love my family and my friends too(!))
But when i get his body....ehrm.....how can i explain it. I have a soul already for him, so i ony get a body for him, which i can touch, which i can hold in my arms and talk to it. I think all person who now about him will see it in the same way.



Don't get down because there are peole who haven't the same feelings like you. It's your mind, it's your life. Think about your dolls whatever YOU want to think.

 

Ditto that. I also have to say I fail to see why this topic is such a source of endless fascination. If people can't see why others, particularly other adults or near-adults, might be bothered by being expected to play along with humanizing a doll, then people need to take a step back and look outside of themselves and the hobby. If it makes one feel better to call it "lack of imagination" or "lack of creativity" or whatever, feel free but in the end it's simply a matter of not expecting your friends who aren't into dolls, or even your friends who ARE into dolls, to play the same way you want to.

 

Just for statistics.
I do not treat dolls like real people and do not feel my dolls are alive. If I say "he thought", or "she said" it is done as a roleplay. It's a wonderful game but I would never put dolls above real people.
If someone says "They are just dolls" I only say: "Yes, but they are so pretty", that is all. I even said exactly that thing: "they are just dolls" to non-doll people who freaked out seeing my BJDs.
Hehe, and I never lacked creativity and imagination) Just look at a huge variety of my creations) A good half of my creative hobbies are not represented here at all though.

 

I don't yet own a doll, but I already have stories for two. So in my mind their not really people but characters that are a little bit more real than drawings or words. So in my mind dolls are more like pretend people. I'm sure I'll have the emotional ties to dolls I own, but they will never be able truely more than my favorite characters from stories I've made.

 

I guess I'm incredibly lucky in the fact that a lot of my friends are collectors of some sort... if not dolls, then other types of toys, so they somewhat 'get it' when I talk to Jade or any of my toys...

Yes, I'm 27, and I know full well they're not real, but still I figure its not hurting anyone, I can still differentiate reality and my imagination so if I want to talk to inanimate object, that's entirely my affair. I've done it all my life, talking to my plushies on and off - no, not having deep conversations with them, but making one-off comments and such.

As for my non-toy friends, they know me well enough to know that I'm the quirky type who -will- talk to Jade regardless of what they think, so they've come to accept it and now and then talk to her, too... they refer to her by name, even come along on photoshoots to help.

Even those friends that think dolls are creepy... they'll say stuff like:

"Eeee she talks to her doll"
Me: yup!
"You're so weird!"
Me: yup! and loving it...

And then we laugh about it. They know they cant stop me, and they know I'm not crazy either so... to each his/her own.

 

Even though I own a BJD, it has a name and that's it. I don't treat it like a real person because I don't see the reason to.

I can see why people would and stuff though. Sorry to relate to Barbies and such, but when I had Barbies when I was little, I treated it like a real person. I would view this as the same. If a girl is saying something like this, just refer back to that and say they did it at one point in time. I'm sure boys did it with their toys or stuffed animals as well.

 

Well darling, Your friend didn't behave like a friend at all!
But don't You worry. You have lot's of friends here.
To tell You the truth I don't treat my dolls like some figures. For me they are my friends, they have feelings and definietly they have characters.

For example Słasica (Soom Amber) is a very proud duchess who loves wather scapes. She proved it lot's of times. She didn't want to pose or gave difficulties unless I promised her some pictures next to the pond or fountain - really - I speak the truth here.

In polish BJD society we gather in normal non smoking places like cafes or restaurants and talk openly about BJD's having them with us. Outher customers look at us, sometimes ask about our dolls but I have never said a bad comment on such occasions.

When I go for a photo shoot I always pick places that charge fees to go into them like botanic gardens or historical cementaries just to avoid plain people who would talk nonsence or be picky.
There are always outher people who shoot pictures, older people who look for quiet or artists who draw landscapes in such places. They keep their distance and never say a word bout what I'm doing.

In my home when I talk to my colleagues or mates who are not into BJD's I sometimes talk bout my honeys but very often I get the "You are a freak" look. I give them a "Yes I am one. Thank You" look in return but most times if I know a person is not open to new things I just skip the topic.
But all of my FRIENDS (this is a word which has it's precious meaning) approve my hobby. And I have only a few who are into BJD's. Outhers just like the doll idea generally or are open, not prejudiced and don't mind my talking or making pictures on various occasions.
So my advice - look out who are You calling a friend. If he doesn't accept who You are what kind of a firned is he? He may not understand You completly but he should accept Your hobbys and who You are.

 

I don't treat my dolls as anything but hunks of resin that occupy space and are fun to photograph now and then. I've had many friends irl who speak to their dolls and such and I have no problem with it, it just isn't me.

People outside of the hobby shouldn't be expected to understand. Some people within the hobby don't even understand it all~

 

I always think its funny when people say things like that. Its like didn't you have some kind of toy or blanket that you where where young? its essentially the same concept. so please save your thoughts for someone who asks for them.

 

Hmmm I disagree with this. I think that clearly if you have to put an act on for the sake of people that will stop liking you for something as little as speaking to an object you're attached to then they obviously aren't real friends. One of my best friends told me that I COULDN'T get a doll and that he wouldn't let me, but at the end of the day I enjoy this hobby and I wouldn't stop buying one just because another person thinks I shouldn't.

If you think of the situation in reverse, I'm not interested in gardening and I wouldn't talk to plants. But if I had a friend that loved gardening and had it as a hobby and named and spoke to her plants it wouldn't bother me in the slightest because it would just be another thing about their personality that makes them interesting.

Maybe if she'd been having a full-blown conversation with Elliot then I could see it would make someone outside of the hobby a bit freaked out, but since she only said 'I don't think he likes it' he could have been a bit more respectful about her interests.

Basically I agree with Umbratafeta. If someone would stop being your friend just because you became interested in dolls, then it isn't much of a loss.