"Its a doll, its not a real person."

Oh man, just recently my best friend ws over for a bit of a visit, he had no Idead that I owned my boy. Hehee the first words out of his mouth upon entering my room 'Oh look she's playing with dolls.'
Ok i've known him since highschool, so i knew he was teasing! Of course him being a guy called him "effeminatee" and "possibly bi-curious" Bt yeah I couldn't help but get defensive and get him back. So I know what you mean when it comes to "it's a dool, it's not real" Hehehee but he's my boy (who's been terribly unshared and unphotographed therefore is sad).

 

Several points come to mind:
(1) Even though I know dolls aren't real and I know my doll is just a doll, I can see myself saying something very similar to what you said.

(2) It depends on your friend's tone of voice. If it was in a very blunt and offensive or derisive tone, I'd feel hurt too. If it was said in a half jesting manner, I would be okay because it would be as though we both know it should be taken in a light-hearted manner.

(3) If it were me, and I felt hurt, I'd probably keep silent too because I'm bad at thinking up replies on the spot. But I suggest that next time someone says something like that, tell them: "I know he's a doll, but I like to pretend he's not just a doll. It's just part of the fun."

(4) I don't even have a name for my Loren. I just think of her as Loren. And I don't have a personality in my head for her...yet. But when I look at her, I do feel as though she's thinking about something. And lately, I told my husband, "you know, seeing her sitting there in her new chair...It's as though she's saying -- after more than a year, you finally start treating me right." And you know what my husband said? He said, "That's an interesting thought."

 

I was really surprised by some of the varying answers on here. It's kind of cool to see that a lot of people have different views about dolls and how they are collected/played with. We are all very different much like our dolls, which makes for a really great community of diverse people.

I try to think of non-doll people as people who just have other hobbies. I don't care for fishing, but my husband loves it. I listen to him talk about it, because I know he enjoys it and I want to share that with him. Sometimes you'll meet people or have friends who just don't get your hobby, so you have to just learn to not let it get to you. Hopefully your friend wasn't intentionally trying to be rude, but it sounds like he might not get the joking around. That does happen sometimes.

I know my dolls aren't real, but I do talk to them and enjoy them in that way. But I'm an artistic creative person who has lived her life creating as her job. It just comes naturally to me to create a character with my doll. My husband doesn't talk to my dolls, but he does talk about them like they are people and treats them kindly. I never expected him to, but he just started doing it when I started collecting them. I think it's his way of trying to enjoy my hobby with me and he knows that it's all in good fun. My children talk to the dolls and often tell me what they think the dolls would like when I'm making them clothes. They also know they aren't real, but it is fun for them to pretend and play with the dolls. We often talk about our pets like they are people too, so it's really not a big leap for our family.

 

I'm lucky enough that most of my friends have really different and intensive hobbies so we tolerate the "oddness" of the others current obsession. That being said, Your doll is a fun hobby and comfort to own but a lot of people don't see them the way you do. They see our dolls as "it" or a "plaything".

What I would do the next time you have someone over is leave him out in plain sight and if your guest asks about him, start explaining the process of how he's made and what he's made of and that he's in fact a work of art. Then your guest might see that he's a talking piece, not just a "doll" and warm up to him (although I would stay away from calling your doll any pronouns). After all, they are fascinating and labor intensive and most guys get excited about knowing how something is put together and that it can be taken apart as well.

But if I was in the similar situation and didn't have any kind of back-story to go off of, I would probably say something like your guest did too.

 

I am sorry that happened to u, its hard when ppl don't understand in the same way u do about the dolls. I got lucky my two good good friends r the ones that got me into BJD"s. There have been a couple of times where that has happened to me with classmates in my Field Seminar class, where I was talking to a different friend who nicely listens about my doll, but doesn't really say much about it this other classmate overheard me talking about my dolls story line and me saying that he was sick and the story takes place in real time so... anyway make a long story short he was like well y can't u just make him better if he's yours and I was like u can't do that it doesn't work taht way and he was like well same as your firend its just a doll and I was like maybe to u it is but to me its important and not just a doll. DOes that help? I mean ppl aren't always going to understand.

 

I rarely talk about my doll with other people, who doesn't share my interests, so there is no such problem for me. People who staying close to him for some time usually starts talking to him like he is a human by themselves. X) And people who don't believe in that may think what they want, I don't care.

 

I love my dolls, but I also think that dolls are dolls are dolls and not people

 

people think what they want.

well,if you want someone to understand your hobby,you might have to pay more attention on his/hers as well.

and it's might be better not to prospect the others can fully understand you without any cost ^_^.

 

My dolls are a physical manifestation of my own creative efforts. As such, I view them sort of as an extension of myself, a facet of my own personality that I can get to know better. They have souls because I give them souls with my love and attention. The doll body is just a vessel.
Surprisingly a lot of people around me treat them as real, even though they aren't doll people. Total strangers will come up to me and ask what their names are or if they're having a good time in the fabric/craft store. Even those that are the most skeptical and insist they are just dolls quickly break down and mutter: "Why is he still staring at me? I think he just blinked!"

 

I know what you mean. My girl isn't even here yet and i'm in love with her. None of my friends understand why i'm spending so much money on a doll.

 

I guess not all people will get this. XD That's it. People are scared of things they do not know.
Well, fact is, that I actually know that my doll is not a real person.
But this doesn't keep me from loving her and seeing her as a real friend to me that I want to treat right.
It's like... When sensitive people watch a scary Horror-Movie.
They know that there's no psycho-killer who's hiding under their bed, but they're afraid and nervous anyways. *shrug*
I also think that as long as it won't be taken too far it's completely okay to fuss over your doll. XD
But not everyone thinks so, so I don't think it's good for you to be too sensitive about it.

I wasn't in this situation, yet, because the friends I am surrounded with are very tolerant about peoples interests, which is nessecary when they are dealing with me.
And my parenty like her, too and already know that their daughter is really strange. XD So no problems for me.
But I would never tell anyone who does not know me.

 

For me the characters in my head are quite 'real' but the dolls they mimick are very much not. I don't aim to offend when I say this, just express my feelings howsoever prejuduced, but I'm..... kind of personally bothered by hearing about people cuddling their dolls at night in place of a boyfriend and that kind of thing. I call my dolls dolls and treat them as what they are, glorified plastic. I treat them more like objects of kinetic sculpture, I guess, than like people. Though, like was mentioned earlier, I do sometimes talk at them like one would talk at their car or tv. Sometimes thoughts need to be spoken, and if nobody else is around to listen.... *shrug* Of course I'm always mindful of the fact that my characters are *too* alive for most people's taste. So to each his own version of insanity, I say. Live and let live!

 

I don't think it's a real person, but I wouldn't ever say that "it's just a doll". It's like dolls have an emotions.. or something like that.

 

Yes, they are just dolls - I know they don't have feelings and are not alive, but they look like human beings and it's rather difficult to not evolve some kind of relation to them. If I mention them it might sound as if I'd talk about a living person, because I don't see them as things. I'd never talk about them the way I talk about other stuff I own ... like my laptop or my toaster Because the expression on their face, the individual face-up, lips, eyes ... give them some kind of personality.

 

What a good boyfriend you have! My fiancee is the same way! He can't stop yammering on about the party we will have for our Gwen (LUTS Kid Delf Lemon) when she arrives! He loves dolls just as much as I do, bless him!

I'm sorry you were frustrated about restringing *huggles*

 

My family kind of gave me the same comment before.....but after they get used to my dolls and how much I love these dolls, they try to be nice when they make any comment about my dolls.....

 

I've actually never gotten that reaction. Even my non-doll friends do it. Like, one time, I told my friend I was going to take him to school and she was like, "... I really don't think he will like that! I'd put his box in a different room so he doesn't, like, kill you in your sleep when he gets home." xD Of course, she was joking, but he did seem to look less than pleased when I took him home.

 

Expression of over-elaborate horror: "Don't listen to him, [dollname]."
Overact as if you were a three-year-old who does not have a good grasp of the bounds of reality.

Block doll's ears with owner's index fingers from each fist.

Then look at 'friend' and raise one ironic eyebrow. 'no duh.' :p

Ann in CT
not that I a) am sarcastic or b) have So heard it before.

 

I totally agree to many of these posts - some get it, some don't.
As I've played with dolls through out the years, I've always distinguished them as having more character than the other toys I had, because of their human likeness -- But these little darlings are getting close to being human size, let alone all the effort the doll makers and companies put into them (i.e.; resin warms to the touch, so it feels alive!)

I enjoy watching different people react to me talking about [my new Hong; I don't know what to name him yet!!] When he shipped to my work place, I discussed him with my boss, and a few other people - and I thought that was just hilarious! My boss seemed to be very open minded about it; some people just couldn't wrap their head around the general awesomeness and poked fun at it

... I just poked fun back to them, like "you're married with kids, and you're immaturely laughing at me?! " Buuuut my office could be another thread completely hehe!

I love the fact that you were being yourself around your friend, and with your doll - that's genuine. Who cares what other people think I know that's easier said than done! But you sure didn't do anything wrong, you're just being yourself =3 And that's aces!!

I hope to meet everyone's dolls online some day!

 

It's just the same for every hobby, and this has been said to death. There are quirks that usually come along with a hobby, and you generally can't expect people to just understand, and if they do that doesn't mean they HAVE to see it your way.

My uncle rather enjoys going to car shows, races, things like that. He practically 'babies' his car, covers it when it snows, won't drive it around if it's raining much etc. I don't get it. To me it's just a car, I don't see the big fuss because you're supposed to drive a car around, the end. And though I appreciate how vastly different they are inside and out that doesn't mean I don't laugh as I watch him fuss with the engine or make sure the car is alright, because I find it ridiculous.

That said, I bring my doll around with me here and there depending on where I'm going. I'll talk to him somewhat and call him by his name and such. But I don't force him in people's faces, if they have a question I will answer it. And when people listen in to me and my friend talk then chime in with that 'It's just a doll' or 'He's so creepy, why are you talking to him?' I merely take the time to look up, smile and roll my eyes before continuing what I was saying.

I'm well aware my doll isn't real and doesn't actually have a soul, but he's got his own character in my mind and I'm not going to change my habits because someone else finds them queer.