"Its a doll, its not a real person."

Although I find people with dolls generally 'get it' and people outside of the BJD fandom don't, I find that often times even within DoA, there are attitudes like that. People who see dolls just as a showpiece, a collectors item with no soul or character outside of what they impose on them :/ I obviously disagree with this.

Likewise, I find a lot of people outside of BJDs DO get it- after all, if they didn't, we wouldn't have so much fresh blood, would we?

The people who do get it aren't so much doll people as they are open-minded, and more often than not, quite willing to believe in something a little bit out there. My girlfriend believes, absolutely, in fairies, even though she's 19- because of her faith in things like that, she's more than willing to accept that dolls can have feelings and souls.

I think that it's just a matter of being cautious with who you expose your dollie side to- I'm not about to show my dolls off to super-conservitive friends of mine, even if they are doll people, unless I know they're prepared to honor the soul I believe my dolls have.

 

I agree. There is a big difference between how the character would behave in a situation and how a doll would behave i.e. the character would be able to respond and have opinions, an inanimate doll wouldn't be able to do either of those things.

 

my boyfriend says this to me all the time lol oh well...

he understands why i like them...i think lol


^^

 

I am not trying to be rude, but I really don't understand why you care what other people believe/think/say. In the world there are many people whose ideas/beliefs do not coincide with my own but I don't run screaming saying "How can I exist here with all these crazies?". And what does your boyfriend have to do with it BunnyKimber? Why would you enlist his opinion? Don't you have one of your own? Or do you take a survey for everything you do among friends and family? Really?
I'm much more wary of those who can't lighten up. Your views that "the dolls aren't really real" are not unique or amazing. Your inability to relax is unnerving. You play with dolls. Big deal. It doesn't mean you need medication. That in of itself I mean.
Off to put on fire retardant suit to offset the effects of mad flaming.

 

I think my view on this is..... well, in the long run they ARE dolls and not real people but it doesn't mean you can't love them. I'd be a bit worried if people put their dolls above their real life friends and family. I think that's taking the hobby a bit too far. I love my dolls with all my heart. If anything happened to them i'd be mortified but compared to my fiance, i'd give them all away in a heart beat if I had to.

 

I totally agree with you. And although I would never put them above my family, it doesn't stop me from having the joy of playing with them.

 

I do cuddle with my boys, and love them... but I do not see them as real people... It's a huge difference between a really loved doll and a person. But still, I also think non-dollowners should be a bit more open to people with a 'strange' hobby. Because saying those things can really upset people who really like this hobby.

I just got them as dolls, gave them a personality, they changed it themself, but they only act the way you do. When you're sad, they seem sad, when you're happy they seem happy.... etc... but to treat them as a real person is a bit too far... that would include giving them a kiss before bedtime, trying to feed them, etc... And so what? You treat them the way you want to... but don't just go too far in public... that's the risk of this hobby...

 

I'm relatively new to this hobby ... but I've known about these dolls for a while, basically it was my friend who showed them to me. She just thinks they're gorgeous and wants to own one, but I don't think she'd get as serious as to make up a character, story, etc for them like some do. Even so... I don't talk about doll stuff with her. I don't talk about dolls to anybody, really, because I kinda know they won't "get it"... meaning they'll know about these dolls and think they're nice to look at, but they probably won't understand that they mean a lot more to me than that..... looking at them and being an owner are really different things, I've realized now.
If my friends want to see my doll, I will show them. But that's all. My parents don't even know I own one...haha... cept for my mother - who totally doesn't get it at all. To her they're just a toy and a waste of money... I'm kinda bummed that she thinks that way, but I'm not going to try to explain to her because I know she'll never truly understand. -__-
But this is just my hobby... I make up characters and stories for my doll because I like writing stories. I know they're not real people, though sometimes I act like they are, just to myself. It makes me happy, and although I'd like to share that happiness with others, I'm reluctant..... :/

 

I'm sure Nefla doesn't actually lose sleep over people personifying their dolls in such a way. She's just stating her opinion on the matter, which is what the original poster is asking for. It's a general discussion and that's what people do.

I know you may not mean to sound rude, but you do, especially when referring to BunnyKimber. It comes off as very harsh, and I'm sure you didn't mean it to be. Clearly she would enlist his opinion because he's an important person in her life; I've enlisted the opinion of other people in my family even though they aren't in the doll hobby because I do care what they think. It isn't that people aren't relaxing, it's just how they react to the way people are acting around them in the hobby. This isn't to flame you, or make you feel bad, but I do think the way you phrased it has the potential for some hurt feelings.

As for me, I have a different view on my dolls. They're characters, but not for any particular story I'm writing. A lot of people here use them as muses for their creative outlet. I think that's awesome, but it's not for me.

I tend to reign myself in if I start thinking I -need- to buy so-n-so a coat for the winter. I don't, actually, because Elias is made of resin and won't actually get cold. Since I live in a place that doesn't get cold, or really look cold in the winter, it's not even needed for photoshoots. I should only buy an article of clothing if I want to, not because they need it. It isn't a necessity for me, it's a want. For me, they are dolls-- beautiful dolls that bring me a lot of happy memories, but not real people

 

I'm afraid you're taking people's offhand and playful comments about their dolls way to literally. When I say my doll loves her shoes or is impatient for me to get that new outfit done, I'm just being playful and funny within the context of a DoA thread...I'm certainly not believing it's reality! And it's pretty inconceivable to me that anyone would even think I'm truly believing that my doll actually talks and makes demands on me. My goodness, it's all just good natured fantasy fun is all, talking about our dolls and keeping other people entertained. If you believe there is a "huge" number of people here on DoA who believe such things, I think you've made a "huge" error in judgement. Most people talk that way in the gallery or the different size individual and company doll threads as a matter of course. But it's all purely innocent and just for fun...not neurotic! There are a couple of threads where the sentient nature of dolls is discussed, and I'm not talking about those very few threads. I'm talking about the more general threads on here. I just think you're reading way more into those innocent statements than is truly there.

And in response to the OP's initial query...I treat my dolls with care and respect because they are beautiful objects I've created to enhance my environment by recording (in their artistic style) the visual memories of my life. Thus they reflect aspects of my own personality and that makes them fun for me to interact with. They are works of art that reflect who I am and my life experiences, the same way an artist's paintings would. Everyone I know realizes this and loves having them around for this very reason. If anyone had anything negative to say about it, I would just chalk it up to ignorance and tell them to hit the door since I have no interest in hanging out with ignorant people. Nuff said.

 

If you read threads such the one asking if dolls have souls etc etc there really are a lot of people who genuinely believe it, there's a difference between that and 'playing along'. Those of us who talk about our dolls in an inanimate sense aren't some unimaginative, dead inside, prudes who can't take a little fun or sit up all night fretting about people who think their dolls talk to them.
I have a perfectly healthy imagination that I derive plenty of enjoyment from, by creating stories and worlds for my characters and I happily admit I play with dolls, I'm a big dork, whoopty do, who isn't around here?

 

As an addition to this, be careful what you read online. It's text on a screen. It's so easy to misunderstand what people are really saying. If I say "X can't wait for her new shoes" I could really mean "I'm just rollplaying my character" or "no seriously she's going to kill me soon if she doesn't get new shoes".

 

This, pretty much. There are more people out there who say they genuinly beleive their dolls are in some way alive than you might think, so it's not really just reading too much into off-hand comments.

Like others have said, the hard part when reading things online is that it is online- it is hard to look at a post and see weather someone beleives their dolls is alive, or is just playing along. Personally, I always assume it's just playing until someoen tells me otherwise, becuase (as someone who doesn't beleive his dolls are alive) I relate more to that side of the hobby. I do still play, though, and talk about my dolls as people. It's part of the hobby that I very much enjoy- it's just that for me, it's fantasy and not reality.

 

I love this thread...

and I think about how coworkers talk about the characters on SOAP OPERAS (or even regular shows with very involved plot lines... like on LOST, aren't we all DYING to see Jin and Sun get back together?)
as if they are real people.

It's only when someone outside the "fandom" says something like "Could you advise your friend to try ____" and then the soap fan says "OH silly! it's a TV show..."

So I'm a bit inspired by the creativity of doll-people... we're making up our own characters, personalities etc.


funny thing is, I got my first doll at a good price, BECAUSE his original owner claimed she "couldn't bond with him." (and I fall in love a little bit every time I look at him... ) and "He doesn't get along with my girls...."

Now that I have him (and just Lurrrve his mold now that I've got the right wigs and eyes for him), I'm surprised a bit by how quickly I felt attached to him. THEN I started taking him to meets (he's been to only a few now) and he always seemed to turn up posing with girls, (both the same size, larger, smaller... much smaller) seeming tender and sweet, while still his macho "self".



At our first doll meet, within the first 20 minutes... he "befriended" and was "completely charmed" by an Elfdoll Catsy.

(Though my family is pretty good too about liking the dolls, my daughter came with me to a Meet, and I'd go talk to someone, and come back to find my dolls in different outfits! <OK I admit, I kept BUYING stuff.... > DD says "Matsuri couldn't wait to try on the purple dress! so then Yuki needed a different outfit too.")

Both my "girls" are second hand, and I was surprised by how uncomfortable I was that they lacked underwear. Yumi was a fullset too, so she had a wig and a dress & other stuff, but no drawers...
So I ran out, got some baby socks and made her panties.

 

So I'm a little confused, Stella Maris. You call Nefla out, when at the base of things, do really agree with the opinion? That in the end, dolls are not real people, are meant for fun and should not and cannot replace the presence of an actual person?

And this basically.

For all those times I voiced that I am aware that my dolls are not real, I've also been told that I can't loosen up, I don't have the same degree of imagination as others and so on. I do. I play with my dolls. I have dozens of characters, deep intricate stories as much as the next person. My awareness and voicing that my dolls are nothing more than that does not mean otherwise.


And yes, agreeing with others that it is a little difficult to understand if people are just playing along or actually believing what they type on the net and all but the confusion does stem from the fact that only a few years ago, people on the hobby never really worded things like that. Things like "failed bonding" only ever meant "I don't like the sculpt as much as I thought I would have," and not "they didn't get along with my other dolls," or "they didn't speak to me or tell me their personality."

 

lol I love this.

I talk to Tziporah (my puki) when I'm taking pictures, sewing, whatever, but she's still a doll. She does have a personality to me, and I refer to her as "her" or "she" when I'm talking about her because she's a girl. She's not an "it" just because she's not human
I only have one friend I talk to about Tzi regularly, most of my friends think she's creepy or just don't care, so I might bring her up in passing but if they don't care I'm not going to waste my time obsessing over something doll-related.
I think if someone said that to me, I just wouldn't let it bother me. Yeah, she's a doll. I know that. But she does have a personality to me, and that's not something a non-doll person is going to get most of the time.

 

I take my dolls to school functions sometimes, because they rarely get to see my friends' dolls. I think one ofr two of the batty old ladies at my church may be under the impression that some of them are possessed (those wacky Christians -- no offense intended), but I don't mind. When people express confusion at my talking to my dolls, or about them, as real people, I just laugh it off. I tell them that I'm talking to the character -- not the doll. For instance, I was blabbering on to Faeren about how sorry I was -- knocked the poor boy's wig right off and it fell down two rows of gymnasium bleachers -- and a friend asked me, quite literally, "What the fuck, Blu? Why are you talking to a doll?" I replied rather snippishly, "I'm not talking to <i>a doll.</i> I'm talking to Faeren."
Sometimes I have to explain the difference, but mostly people get it, or leave it alone.

 

I love my dolls and I talk to them like they were real people but I do it when no one's looking. All my friends know that I love dolls but I try not to make my friends uncomfortable about it. It is a bit hard for some people to understand that to us our dolls are much more than dolls.

 

Okay wow this thread got kind of... snarky all the sudden.

Stella Maris you seem to be almost angry about this whole thing and I guess I don't see a reason for that emotion whatsoever. You're jumping into that old "think for yourself don't care what other's think/say" routine. It's so easy to say and sure there is some wisdom in those words but humans are SOCIAL ANIMALS. It is natural for us to take some concern about the reactions of those around us, especially those we love, like friend or family and yes, boyfriends too. You can't automatically assume that because someone cares what others think that they are some sheep in a herd.

Precisely.

To me a doll should represent my character, not BE the character. My friend gets upset when I sell dolls cause she doesn't seem to understand my characters are always my own whether or not they have a material version or not.