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Leaving the Hobby, Before you have even started?

May 19, 2011

    1. Mod's feel free to move or delete if in the wrong place or duplicate. I could not find this thread in my searches.

      I personally have been in and out of the hobby for 3 years, and i'm still doll-less because of this. I tend to feel embaressed about the hobby and eventually try and move my focus on to something else, something cheaper haha. Im no miser and i'm not affraid to part with my money, I just worry about being dissapointed after spending alot of money on a doll.

      Ok, so I want to know. Who has left the hobby before they have even purchased a doll only to come back a few months on? What was the reason you left? And if you can answer, once you purchased your first doll did the worries subside/ did you still consider leaving the hobby?
       
    2. I was really interested in bjds for a year or so before I got my first boy. But, at the time, when I told friends/family they were so shocked at the price of the dolls that it completely put me off (called them a 'waste of money' etc) so I decided I wouldn't get one.

      It wasn't until last September when I was in Tokyo and saw bjds in real life that I decided I didn't care what people thought, that they were too lovely to not have one (not to mention the friend I was with was really supportive and helped me decide) so I bought my first boy back with me. At first, everyone was shocked and disapproving but that's all changed!

      Now my family are really quite supportive, my boyfriend is even considering getting his own doll. They still don't understand why I'm happy to spend so much on them but I make their clothes and have a little floating head for face up practice, they keep encouraging me to persue my hobby :) and now I don't think I'll ever leave this hobby, there's so much variety and I find it brings out my creativity! :D
       
    3. This is kind of like me. I was really interested in these dolls one or two years ago because I had a friend who was in this hobby and got herself one as well and I started looking and became very interested in it but then over time I kind of told myself that this is impossible....It was too expensive even though I had the money to acquire one for myself but I was too reluctant to do so. I kind of forgot about it after a bit and went on doing something that kind of put my mind off on BJD...But it was only recently that I started looking again b/c BJD suddenly pops in my head and started bugging me so I did my research on it more seriously this time and got myself one over my initial desire of an iPad 2 for my birthday hahaha. Now that I got the doll, I was getting excited each day (waiting I mean), thinking when will she arrive b/c I never had dolls that is very humanish like (mainly just barbies in the past and stuff animals) and I didn't worry too much since my mom was kind of excited as well : D.
       
    4. I for myself thought i´d never get a BJD but i just saved up and after 1 1/2 years i got enough for getting one O: by the way ... if you are really disappointed after you got a doll ... theres the marketplace <3 I was really thinking of leaving the hobby while i was waiting for my boy i thought about "what if i don´t like him D:" but now i got him and i´m totally in love :)
       
    5. Well, I don't know if this counts, but I discovered bjds through an extremely expensive kind of art doll. At first, I didn't really like some things about the look of standard ball-joint dolls, dismissed them as a poor substitute, and went back to pining for my art doll.

      Eventually though, I realized that I might never have one of those art dolls, and gradually my appreciation for standard bjds grew. I now have four dolls. The first one was perfect right out of the box (and I couldn't believe how beautiful she was when I first unwrapped her)-- however, all the others have required some amount customization before I could fully enjoy them. I still remember having this horrible, frozen feeling when I unwrapped my second doll and knew that I hated his face-up.

      So yes, one can be disappointed by a doll, but that doesn't mean that all dolls will be disappointing. Some of them may even surprise you with unexpected gorgeousness.
       
    6. People's interests wax and wane. It's just natural. All this talk of "Leaving hobbies" makes it sound as if people actually physically make a statement, have a huge party or a hissy fit, and go somewhere, never to return.

      As for worry that you'll be disappointed upon getting your first doll; You may be. I'd suggest buying on the secondhand market (A doll doesn't depreciate as much between its second and third owner as it does between its first and second) and being prepared to sell it on again and not worry to much if you didn't like it.

      To answer your question; I was doubtful about buying my first doll, and upon getting it (after the initial "Huzzah, my parcel is here!") I was worried that I'd spent too much money on a pretty nothing. I took a few photographs, sewed i some clothes, and put it on a shelf to gather dust for a while. Four years later, I have a collection of dolls that I still play with in a somewhat similar fashion to that, and it's perfectly fine. We don't all live upto the standards of those owners who claim to take their doll everywhere with them all the time- Some of us treat them as fun, expensive toys.

      Over the course of few years, even if you only actively have an interest in your doll for a few weeks a year, the initial buy-in cost is actually pretty reasonable.
       
    7. I worried about this too, because I have a real tendency to be obsessed by something for a couple of months, but then completely dismiss it and move on. For that reason I was anxious about getting a doll, worrying that after a while I wouldn't care about something so expensive and time-consuming.
      Six dolls later, I'm still very interested in the hobby and play with my dolls constantly! It's the transmutable, customizing aspect of the hobby I love, and the sense of possibilities that a doll is a blank canvas and a complete imprint of your individuality. But really, my love of dolls keeps me in the hobby, not a sense that I have to show that I'm all "in the community" or play with my dolls as much as other people.
      Buying a doll then leaving it on a shelf to look pretty is fine too, if that's what you want. Don't be intimidated by the idea that you don't love your dolls as much as other people love theirs! Everyone does things in a different way, and playing with dolls is one of them ^^
       
    8. In all honesty, while it may sound completely insane, I don't think someone actually has to have a doll to enjoy this hobby in some form. It is very easy for me to think of reasons someone may enjoy looking at pictures, or reading the games and similar doll-related things on the forums, more than actually owning a doll of their own. I don't actually see anything wrong with that, either -- if that's what someone gets more enjoyment from, then that's a totally acceptable choice as a means of enjoying the hobby, from my perspective. It may well be something like that, and if it is? More power to you. ;)

      I know I spent a long time considering a doll before I ever joined the forum or bought a doll. My interest waxed and waned until I actually plunked down the cash and placed the order. I think it's easier to waver back and forth before that, or at least it was in my experience. Once they're in the house, they have a way of taking over. (Time, shelves, every inch of free space, that stuff I used to call 'spending money'... )
       
    9. I was also like this. I discovered them about 2 or 3 years ago and then looked at the price tag. I knew I could never get into such an expensive hobby as pretty as they were. So I pushed them out of my mind.

      Then a few months back I re-discovered them. This time around I noticed that there are more affordable brands, and I liked many of them even more than the original ones that had caught my eye. It also helped that I found myself with a chunk of change that I wanted to sped on something frivolous (something i rarely do).

      My worries did not subside after my order. In fact I panicked just knowing that when she would arrive I'd hate her, plus I tend to never really get into hobbies. Thankfully I was wrong, as I thought she was beautiful the moment I saw her face, and I have found that this is the first hobby that I really do enjoy being in. I'm very happy that I made the plunge!
       
    10. I think maybe some people feel as though they 'have' to like or own BJDs because they know about them, and if they don't, or don't feel comfortable with it, it's some major failing. It's not. If you don't feel confident owning a doll, then you don't have to, and if you want one enough, then you'll find a way to get one. I fell into the latter group- when I like something and want to do it, it would take a freight train and a lightning storm to convince me not to. But if you already feel like owning a doll isn't for you, then maybe it isn't- that doesn't make you a bad person, nor does it mean you can't ever do anything related to this hobby again. It just might not be your thing.

      There's an awful lot of pressure though in feeling as though you MUST have/like a bjd when you don't really feel up to it- and there shouldn't be, this is a hobby something that is meant to just be enjoyed for the sake of enjoyment- it's not mandatory, and if you don't enjoy it or don't think you will enjoy it, then go find something you like better, life is too short for that kind of pressure.
       
    11. This is true and it's not surprising considering the amount of money you'll have to spend to get one. Expectations get higher with each dollar on the counter, I guess.

      Before I actually owned anything there were several occasions where I wanted to quit and even when I was about to order my doll, I had a serious case of 'do I really want to?'. So much money involved, buying without actually seeing the object... the entire idea of BJD's stayed vague. I wanted to hold something in my hands, so there was something real, something tangible. Instead it felt like chasing a dream (or ghost).

      In the end I told myself that I wouldn't know if I didn't try, decided to take the plunch and hoped that I would like these BJD's and if not: well... tough luck. At least I'd have an interesting experience (first time buying online and briefly owning a massive doll).
       
    12. Hey Naffy-Chan! I don't think there is anything to worry about, I saw them in a film and fell in love but it took me a while to buy I just kept thinking 'thatsa whole lotta mola' and that was only for a 1/4. But as soon as you open up the box you fall in love and your world can end up revolving around them. Like ive said before your welcome to meet my small family and see what you think then. :)
       
    13. I second this. I'm one of those people who was VERY disappointed with my first doll (who was a volks, btw, not exactly the low end!), then I was disappointed with my second (a puki, aha, again, not the low end for the size). I now have 4 who I'm very, VERY happy with. Despite research, there is a chance you're not going to be happy, but to second this, that's what the marketplace is for.
       
    14. I first discovered BJDs like 3 or 4 years ago, and I still don't own one. Like some other have posted, when I saw the price I just walked away, despite really wanting one. When I went to college, I started to get back the interest because suddenly it wasn't as unobtainable (aka Jobs). I walked away from DOA all that time ago as well. There weren't as many people then, and I knew a lot less about dolls and the world. But now that I'm back I'm struggling to catch up! I don't regret walking away, but at the same time I wish I would have at least kept up to date with all the information.

      I'm terrified of getting my first doll. I know what I want, but if I get it second or third or even fourth hand cheaper that would be awesome because then I wouldn't feel as horrible if I was completely disappointed. I've never seen a doll in real life so I'm not 100% sure of what to expect. But I want to do it anyways.
       
    15. I've been into dolls my whole life, so making the decision to buy my first ABJD wasn't a big stretch for me. But in the rare instance a doll disappoints me, I try to figure out if it's just a case of the doll needing a different outfit, wig, or eyes. If it's a simple fix like that, then I keep working with the doll, otherwise there's always the Marketplace. So no, the doll hobby in general is too much a part of me, but I do sometimes step back from the doll boards. Also I think that getting people that don't have hobbies of their own to understand you is rare. And even some of my doll collecting friends were somewhat agast years ago when I purchased my dream pair of silver and crystal Manolo Blahnik pumps. ;) So my advice is to follow your heart, if you can afford it, buy your dream doll, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks about it. Life's short, we all deserve to enjoy it, and if a doll brings you joy, then GO FOR IT! :D

      Juli DC :)
       
    16. No, I got in and was hooked. I've never wanted to leave or been disappointed with my dolls, though my tastes have changed somewhat over time, and some of the doll I got back towards the beginning I'm now moving on. I can see where it can be a big leap to go all the way and buy a doll. I had some nerves when I first ordered a doll, because I had never been interested in dolls before, so for me it seemed a bit out of character. However, I just fell so in love with the pictures, I had to get one. And you know what? I still have my first guy :)

      If I were you, I wouldn't be embarrassed about the hobby -- lots of people have hobbies or some kind of interest. People might think it strange at times, because people aren't always good at understanding other people's hobbies and interests -- especially when a lot of money is involved. However, if you let that dictate what you do, you run the risk of missing out on some potentially fun stuff (this goes for more than just dolls, of course).
       
    17. I think that the extent of people's intrests wax and wane over years, but if you really like something, I think you'll always come back around to it.

      I first discovered bjd three years ago, left twice for a year, and here I am today! The first time I left was because I thought I would never be able to own one because of the price. The second time was mostly a mistake on my part. I felt that I could replace bjd with a cheaper type of asian doll, which only proved to make things worse. I still have him, and I do love him, though his joints and outfit frequently give me a hard time.

      If you've never seen a bjd in person, I suggest that you start there. Find a meet up to go to in your area.

      Second, use all the resources available to you, like all the info here and the marketplace. I failed to do sufficient research on my first by and was thus very disappointed. If you can find out a lot about different companies and their pros and cons, find a doll that you like that's not too expensive, but also not too cheap for you, and find out as much about that doll as you can before you buy it, I think you should have little room to feel disappointed.

      But you know, if at first you don't succeed, try and try again.
       
    18. I admit, I can be easily influenced by what people think, and I think that contributed a lot to my first fall out from the community. Friends were supportive, but my family wasn't... and my friends also talked me into buying a doll I wasn't in love with and yeah... Due to outside influenced plus a disappointment in my first doll, I left the hobby for nearly two years.

      But now that I'm back, I'm in it for real. True, my tastes change nearly from day to day, and now I know to only buy the dolls that capture my heart. I don't let what my family or friends think influence me. True, I'm more excited to get dolls my friends like, but I don't rely on them to "validate" my choices.

      I'd really advise to try to stop worrying so much. Getting a doll won't change anything if you're hesitant now. Best advice I can give is try to find out what about the dolls make you happy and focus on it!
       
    19. I think I sort of did this. My friend showed me the Volks site in late 2007; I had wanted the doll, no one would buy one for me (not ready to save that much yet), and I got out of the hobby for a year or two before focusing my energy on it again (this time, ready to save a few hundred). The first doll turned out to not work for me, so I stopped saving for it, and spent all my money on other things.

      It wasn't until last year that I scraped my pennies together again, and bought a doll. Now, I'm getting a second!
       
    20. I'd heard of BJDs long before I got into them, and even then I hesitated, but by the point I was considering it was a matter of how, not if. I have been disappointed with all of my dolls in some ways and some of my dolls in too many ways to keep, but disappointment doesn't worry me personally. The perfect doll doesn't exist, and perfection in itself would actually be a flaw to my eyes. The great thing about this hobby is that the doll is what you make of him or her.

      And those little disappointments were just part of the bonding process for me. They're the quirks each doll has, and in most cases don't begin to affect the deep affection I have for my resin union. Holding back because of financial or other practical concerns is completely understandable, but fear of disappointment is something that can really hold you back in all kinds of ways in life. Maybe a hobby is a safe place to practice getting over that fear?