Losing enthusiasm because of waiting times?

Nov 11, 2020

    1. Did any of you experience this before? I just got my doll that I ordered in February, but over the waiting time I seem to have lost enthusiasm. He's really pretty, but I'm not as enthusiastic as I thought I would be. I really need some bonding tips haha. XD

      Anyhow did you experience losing enthusiasm over the waiting time, and how did you fix it?
      • x 2
    2. Did you have any plans to make something for him?
      Maybe even a really easy customization or small outfit (simple as a cape with a little string tie on the front!) could make you feel more connected?
      I feel this way with clothes sometimes that I put away for the remainder of the return period "to make a decision." Finding a way to display my purchase and spend some time with it (or in the case of clothes, finally wearing it!) brings the enthusiasm back usually!
      • x 2
    3. I mostly forget sometimes or I do a layaway to pass the time (as weird as that sounds). For some reason, doing a layaway and paying each month helps build up the amp of by the time I pay this off, my doll should be done. As the final payment goes in, the doll will be released from the dealer! lol

      And me forgetting just gives me a surprise when I get a notice for shipment then I get excited all over again.

      As for bonding, start creating things for your doll! Learn to sew, make a wig, do face-ups. The more you put into customizing will bond you. At least that's how it works with me. :)

      Good luck!
      • x 3
    4. I haven't had a wait as long as that yet, but the doll that I'm currently waiting on is estimated to be done next month, and after waiting nearly six months, I had lost a bit of interest in my original ideas for him. Initially I thought it would be fun to have him be an 80s/90s-themed vampire character, but now I don't find the idea nearly as exciting, and I still haven't figured out a story concept I like enough to go with it. So I decided to try to rework his character, and even started writing a story with the new idea (he's now the ringmaster of a victorian circus). I found that it made me really excited for his arrival! It also helps that I didn't order any clothes with him prior to the change, so I also got to hunt down a fitting outfit in preparation for him.

      So if you're the type of person who likes giving your dolls character/personality, I think maybe brainstorming some alternate ideas could help reignite that spark! Even if you usually don't do that, giving it a try could be fun as well. I also agree with the others that customizing can help with bonding (although the only doll I've sewn a full outfit for is the one I'm set on selling, so it doesn't work 100% of the time). Whatever you decide to try, I hope you'll have good luck with it!
      • x 4
    5. I was planning on making him a whole outfit. I didn't start the design yet though, when I did it before I already had a feel with the doll and that made designing easier. So I'm still struggling. Planning to make a lot though.

      It's really interesting you actually forget! :o I couldn't get it out of my mind that I'm worried something might go wrong because it's such an expensive purchase and I always pay in full. :o Maybe I really should start on making the outfit. I'm horrible with wigs, he's got a face up, but I'm pretty good with sewing. Was planning something anyway... I hope it'll help me bond. Thank you!

      My first doll was a Ringdoll so I had a similar waiting time with him, and I have another Ringdoll. After them I had three with much shorter waiting times. Maybe I got spoiled. XD The current one is from Loongsoul. I do like to write stories, so that's actually a really good idea! I intended to make him a demon to counter my angel boy. They don't have a story yet. I was planning on making him bat wings, but I really don't feel like that anymore, so maybe a minor change of plans will help. :) I made outfits for 4 of the 5 dolls I already had, so I'm not worried that it influences how I feel about them. I didn't come up with an outfit yet for the new guy. Or even a name. XD Thanks for the advice. :)
      • x 2
    6. I've lost interest when I had a bad experience (doll arrived damaged and not as promised) but once I got that situation fixed and changed his eyes, I actually came to appreciate him. He's not the best poser - has the most basic of joints - but he just needs to look pretty to make me happy.

      I have one doll who I am still waiting on and I am worried I won't like her anymore because of how the pandemic has held up shipping on everything from I guess China/Korea. I bought an MSD from the same company (but through a USA retailer) and I am still working on bonding with her so I am worried I won't like the SD doll I am waiting on.

      I really just give it time and if I have different wigs/eyes/outfits that can fit the body/head, I change them up to see what I like. I always know I can resell (for a loss) on the second hand market but I do try to buy only the dolls I will keep.
      • x 2
    7. I feel this often with long layaways with BJDivas. I get so excited when I first order them, but 8-9 months in, and the dolls haven’t even come in for me to pay them off early, and I find myself not wanting them anymore.

      I think 6 months is the Max I’m willing to wait before I get disinterested. :sigh

      I really need to just stop making the orders with super long layaways in the first place, but I’m an idiot who repeatedly makes the same mistakes over and over.
      • x 4
    8. I haven't had to wait that long, but I did once order a doll that was supposed to ship in 5 weeks and it turned into 5 months with almost no communication and a lot of broken promises, then when he arrived, his head didn't match his body. :frownyblush: That was a nightmare order in so many ways, and when he arrived, it was a disappointment. This guy was supposed to be the husband of one of my other dolls, so I really wanted it to work. I ended up buying him a better body from a different company and it was a better match and better fit for his character, and that just made me feel like he was finally "right" and worth the wait. The head sculpt was perfect, just the wait time and the problems with him initially killed my interest.

      My suggestion is to play around with the doll, get a feel for him; if anything is wrong with him, fix it. If you've lost interest in the character you initially planned for him, maybe try to think of a new character for him, or just let him "tell" you who he is. But, if in the end you just feel nothing, there's no shame in selling him. A brand new doll from a company known for long wait times will likely hold value on the secondhand market.
      • x 4
    9. I guess for a lot of people living in more or less affluent societies, especially younger peeps, having to wait for something that has been ordered longer than a few days or weeks at most has become a rarity, and so it can be hard to know beforehand how one would deal with such extreme waiting times. But it can be worthwhile to find out, maybe you can plan future purchases more in tune with your own needs, to make it less frustrating for you.
      • x 2
    10. My methods are basically:
      - Put doll on layaway when possible so it feels like you're more involved/have some control over having to wait longer. Somehow, paying $100 a month over six months feels a lot less nerve-racking then paying $600 at once and then having to wait 6 months with no contact from the company.

      - When possible, give yourself at least a few months to decide if your initial enthusiasm for the doll holds up, or if it's a passing fancy you can live without. Feeling secure in your decision helps.

      - When all else fails, sometimes you just gotta let yourself fret for a bit and work through it. Trying to force yourself to be excited about something that's not happening for another few months is only going to lead to more stress. Once I secure a doll, I try to just put them out of mind as much as possible and concentrate on the ones I currently have (aside from having basic clothes/accessories on hand for them). Your enthusiasm for the doll will go back up once you have them!

      ...and if it doesn't, you sell and try again. That's all we can do.
      • x 1
    11. Thank you for sharing all of this excellent advice. I'm still waiting for my first doll and how to pay up for another shipping service which seems to have a broken tracking number.

      I'm currently amusing myself with figuring out where to store him and what to clothe him in though.
      • x 2
    12. I bought some really expensive dealer dress (they're as much as a doll lmao) and it's gonna take awhile because of lead time. I'm already feeling the waiting fatigue.
      • x 2
    13. i'm currently waiting for my first doll and 3 and a half months into waiting i've defiantly lost my initial enthusiasm, i'm the kind of person that doesn't layway or pre-order ANYTHING if its not available i'll either wait until its in stock or just not get it and couple that with my extreme discomfort about spending large sums of money bjd buying is right outside my comfort zone.
      that said i have no doubt in my mind i will adore my doll when he finally arrives i wanted him for so long before i actually bought him and i still get exited when i see pictures of him.
      • x 2
    14. Happens to me a lot. I wait so long sometimes I'm not really that excited to get them anymore. It's definitely my fault to because I fall for impulse buying, but I have learned to slow down with dolls. Now I wait it out for a month if possible and if I still want it then i'll go for it.
      • x 2
    15. I have felt the excitment die down over the long year of waiting! I ordered an Alice from Ringdoll on a spur of the moment splurge (I had been eyeballing her before and really really liked the promo pictures, then Ringdoll offered her with a full set again and BAM! I hit the 'buy me now' button). I did her layaway through BJDivas, and the layaway ended before the doll was actually ready. I believe it was about a year before I got her and my excitement was less than excited. I checked her promo pictures again, decided I still liked her and opened her up. Her hand came broken. I tucked her back away, didn't even dress her and went to work getting an unbroken hand. The hand is finally in the mail (4 months later) and hopefully on it's way to me. But the doll is buried in the closet.

      Sooooooo. Not really sure what to think at this point. Once the hand lands, I'm hoping I'll dress her and believe in her again. Maybe this is a lesson in spur of the moment splurges (yes, she was expensive! But I can't think about that.)
      • x 2
    16. Oh wow that's really a bad experience! I can understand you lost enthusiasm even more this way. The only thing wrong with my doll is that his face up looks nothing like the promo pictures, nothing broken or anything. I hope everything works out for you.
      • x 1
    17. Thanks! I'm trying to stay positive about it. I've been really lucky that I haven't really had any other bad experiences with dolls (other than waiting forever for a dollshe amanda), so maybe I'm just due. :lol:
      • x 2
    18. I get this. The problem I have with long waits is that 1: the excitement wears off and 2: I lose motivation/courage to do what I was going to do.

      I sold a doll recently because after the 10 month wait I chickened out when I finally had him in hand. I was originally planning to dye him and everything but once he arrived i'd had so long to talk myself out of it and let doubt seep in that I just couldn't face it. It didn't help that he was substantially more awkwardly shaped than i'd anticipated.
      So yeah. Beautiful doll but too anxiety inducing for me to want to handle or work on.

      The other issue I have with long waits is that the "ITCH" to work on a doll reaches fever pitch and it results in me impulse buying a quick fix doll either secondhand or in stock and often they'll be dolls that weren't even on my wishlist just because I NEED to work on something, NEED to get that "new resin" in hand.
      So ultimately long wait times result in me spending MORE money. *huff*

      It's about the 4 month mark that I get really antsy. I'm impatient lol.
      • x 4
    19. I just try to forget about them as much as possible. I'm not a very impatient person anyway and I find having a long wait time allows me to become even more excited about the doll(s). As other people have said, maybe try to come up with a new character and craft clothes/wigs/props etc. for him and hopefully you will bond! I also like to make pinterest boards for my characters, it definitely helps with developing their style/personality.
      • x 2
    20. That os the truth! I have been waiting on a doll that is seems to be impossible to find. So, I have ended up buying heads to work on then bodies eat.
      • x 1