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Losing interest after having a baby

Feb 20, 2021

    1. Hiii! As you can guess from the title, I just had my baby 3 months ago. And I feel like I'm losing a bit of enthusiasm for the newest doll I bought, or to engage in the hobby in general. I browsed DoA a lot, and shops, and often crafted and photographed my dolls. Does anyone have the same experience? Will the interest and need for new dolls come back?
       
      • x 9
    2. LOL, when I had my baby, nothing was as engaging, as thrilling, as adorable or as time consuming as she was. Hobbies, work...pfft. It's biological, I think, and only natural - and that's a good thing, because that warm little bundle needs to be the focus of your life. However, eventually you will find that you also need to focus on some grownup interests, because your child will grow and begin to develop their own little independence. :thumbup How long it takes to reach that point is different for different people - and whether or not dolls are still your interest at that time remains to be seen. It's a question that only you will be able to answer for yourself. ;)
       
      • x 19
    3. Well, I don't have any kids myself but I think it's quite normal to lose interest in certain hobbies when such a life altering change as a child occurs! I'm sure it takes a lot of your strength and mind to care for your child and get used to this new situation. Your dolls just naturally got a bit less important right now.
      I think it's quite possible you'll regain your enthusiasm for your BJDs when things start to settle down more.

      Not really the same situation, but I remember very well how sad I felt when I totally lost interest in some of my older hobbies when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, so I feel like I can still relate a little bit. Just give yourself some time to figure out what you need and what kind of interest or hobby is the most nurturing for yourself right now.
      There's no shame in letting something go or take a break from it for a while if it just doesn't give you as much joy as it used to before. Maybe it will come back, maybe it won't. And it's totally fine either way!
       
      • x 2
    4. This is just my opinion about what's happening in your life. Please, consider it as it is. :)

      I think you should not worry too much. Having a baby is that kind of thing that changes your life, so it brings many thoughts and many different choices. You have to love and take care of him/her, it requires time and financial resources, so it's ok if you don't have time for your bjd dolls. Perhaps you can take a break from the hobby if it's too overwhelming at the moment, and turn back to it when and as you feel like because crafting dolls and looking for bjd parts and items can be time consuming.
      Decisions will come when you need them. Just enjoy the time with your newborn and who knows, perhaps he/she could like bjds too, in the future.
       
      • x 3
    5. At the end of the day, dolls are things and babies are people. They'll still be there when and if you regain interest. Congrats on the baby! Enjoy them when they're this tiny, it is a fleeting thing as they grow.
       
      • x 5
    6. Congrats on the baby!

      My kids are almost adults now and I can share this experience:

      Kids will change your life for sure. I personally think it is a GOOD thing that you are changing your focus from Hobby/Collecting. That is a sign that you are taking parenthood serious. But I would also say that (from experience) you can lose yourself to parenthood, so don't forget the things you enjoy and take time for yourself. I got back into collecting when my kids were old enough. My daughter got a Fairyland and has joined me in the hobby. So there's a great adventure waiting for you, and hobbies/interests will come back around in time.
       
      • x 6
    7. Congrats! I think this is a very natural thing with hobbies as an adult and doesn't necessarily mean you're dropping BJDs for good. It's totally understandable that you want to prioritize your baby, a living breathing human, over a luxury hobby right now. Your child will only be at this stage of life for so long, but the great thing about dolls is that no matter how long you're away from them, they'll always be right there unchanged and ready to pick up right where you left off! :)

      Sometimes people just grow out of hobbies and that's fine, but if BJDs are a long term hobby for you then the interest will come back on its own eventually, maybe when your child is a little older and a bit more independent? But let it happen naturally, and don't force it.
      At least for me, I try to avoid feeling any kind of obligation or guilt over not spending as much time with a hobby as I used to, because it turns that hobby into an anxiety-inducing chore when it should be a fun thing.There's no pressure and no rush!
       
    8. I find myself losing interest in the hobby when I'm working a lot or in school or both. I couldn't imagine caring for a living thing thrown into that mix.
      I think an ebb and flow of interest in any given hobby can be normal, especially when you have something else that is quite pressing to focus on right now. Don't worry too much about it, you will always go back to the things you love eventually. Enjoy your new family! And congrats on your new baby :)
       
      • x 1
    9. congrats on your little one!! your interest in hobbies will definitely come back. hobbies take time and money and so do babies. neither of those things are in infinite supply so it's totally natural that you don't feel super into the dolls right now. it's a sign of being a great parent!
      i started easing back into some of my adult hobbies as my kid grew and was able to participate with me. when she was little i didnt do a lot of acrylic or oil painting, for example. but i did a lot of quick watercolors because that was something we could do together. now that she is older, we have a lot of overlapping interests but also our own specialties. we both love making doll dioramas, but she is really good at making larger pieces out of cardboard and paint and im good at doing the tiny things with beads and clay. together we make the perfect team!

      so basically all my rambling is to say, yes! your interest will come back and maybe even in a new and better form because you will have someone to share ideas with.
       
      • x 3
    10. Congratulations!! Three months omg, still a bitty one!! Give your baby lots of snugs from me! :)

      To echo what everyone else said, yes, absolutely this is normal! It's a big change in routine you had. Nothing's gonna seem quite the same, especially after three months. My son is almost 3.5 years and I'm just picking up hobbies again like I used to (I also have severe depression to contend with though, so I don't think it'll take you that long to enjoy your dolls again).

      When he was under 1, my husband was constantly warning me to take advantage of his lack of mobility to draw all I wanted because once he hit toddlerhood I'd only be able to get anything done after he went to bed. And... well, he's right lol. Once he goes to bed, I finally have time for things I want to do. But at the same time, I think that kind of built up and made me want to get back to my hobbies even more? Not being able to just draw or write or paint whenever I want, it's the same feeling almost as being at work and thinking ah I can't wait to go home and work on this!

      Plus, when he was new, I just wanted to make and buy and do baby things :D Now 3 years later he has plenty to where I don't feel bad partaking in an expensive hobby for my own enjoyment.

      So in short, totally understandable!! Don't feel bad that your old hobbies and interests are taking a backseat to your new baby. He's still new after all! As long as you aren't really upset about losing interest (in a way you might think could be PPD, that is) then there's no harm in putting your hobbies aside and coming back full swing once your mom routine is settled :)
       
      • x 2
    11. When I was pregnant this hobby (and all other honestly) stopped existing. I only cared about baby stuff! I thought I am done with bjds but I am slowly getting back. Give yourself time and just do what you like at that moment! :kitty2
       
      • x 2
    12. Congratulations!

      I'm not a mother, however, I would totally spoil my child rather than my dolls if it was the case! Isn't it a good thing to have less interest in such an expensive hobby, since child rearing involve some costs as well?
       
      • x 1
    13. .
       
      #13 Gintsumi, Feb 21, 2021
      Last edited: Feb 28, 2024
      • x 1
    14. Thanks for all your advice and sweet messages. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one this happened to haha. If course I'm glad that my baby comes first for me, but I guess i expected interest in my hobbies to come back a bit sooner. Maybe I'm just impatient because i don't want to feel like I'm a different person now.
       
      • x 2
    15. Not a mom, but I’ve always felt that those dependent on you (children, pets, elderly family members who can’t live alone, etc) should have priority over a hobby. As long as they’re safe, healthy and loved and have all the things they need, then you can do hobby stuff. I think it’s important to still take time to do things for yourself, it’s not good to totally lose yourself and everything you enjoy, but it’s also not good to force yourself to stay active in a hobby that doesn’t interest you. Take your time, enjoy your new baby! The hobby will still be there if/when you’re ready to return.
       
    16. My son is 14 months and I went through a similar phase where everything was all about him and even my passions like painting took a back seat. It also doesn't help youre not sleeping much. Kinda like a twilight zombie lol. But as I lost the baby weight and he got bigger and I was more social with friends etc, I started feeling more like myself and my hobbies and interests became more prominent once again.
      Having a baby is a huge huge huge event in your life, nothing will ever be the same but that's a good thing :)
       
    17. I don’t have any kids but I can imagine that. You’re baby is from your body. You created the little angel. She’s fascinating. Mommy instincts kicked in. I bet nothing else matters but your baby at the moment. I have no kids but when I got a boyfriend (although not the same LOL) I stopped gaming. Gaming was my passion...
      My hobby. Modding Skyrim was what I lived for lol. But once I got into a relationship he was all I cared about.
       
    18. Congrats on your new baby! Take a lot of pictures because they do grow soooo fast! <33

      Hobbies like doll collecting come from having the time to do them, so when a life change like a baby happens it is normal for the interest to lower a bit. My daughter is 7 now, and her and my hobby have really grown over time. In the small moments of time for myself I really do adore collecting and photographing my dolls, so I am glad I kept with it. I had to stay at home with her a lot so it was nice to have something else to do at times. Sadly, after being a mom I really do like dressing my dolls a lot less. But that's alright too. They still look great! I don't like seeing them any less.

      The dolls will gladly wait for when you have time for them!
       
    19. Congrats on the baby!

      Cool to see a thread discussing this. I myself became a Mom 7 months ago. At the same time my daughter was born, a bunch of dolls that I had ordered well before her birth arrived. I didn't have the time or energy to un-box them for about a month or two. I was so sleep deprived and consumed with being a new Mom, that I didn't touch my dolls for months. Once my baby could sleep through the night and we both got into a good routine, then I had the energy to indulge in the hobby. You're in the "Mommy fog" right now. You'll get out of it eventually and probably want to mess around with your dolls again. Don't worry. :3nodding:
       
    20. Congrats on the little one. Kids are great! I had my son two years ago and for about a year I did sort of "leave" the hobby. I put all my dolls away and didn't really do anything with them. Now that he's a bit older I'm starting to dip my toes back in.