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Mothering instinct?

Mar 1, 2010

    1. I have recently been having a suspicion about my desire to purchase a doll that costs more than either of my gaming consoles did.

      I am in my mid 20's, female, and not in a committed relationship. I notice that the dolls I am most interested in are child like tinies. Like Brownies or Pukis. SD dolls that look like grown men are not as attractive to me. I'm not concerned about whether the doll is male or female, or whether the doll is made of resin. I'm only concerned that it looks like a cute little person.

      I think the reason I'm interested in these dolls, subconsciously, is that my biological clock has gone off. I have no interest in having children, and I'm pretty sure I never will, but I'm fairly certain that's where this is coming from.

      Maybe I'm just lonely and I want someone to depend on me. I have lots of friends my own age and go on dates and things. I'm not weird, I think. I just feel a gap in my life. 50 years ago, women my age would mostly be married and have at least one child. 100 years ago, women my age would be married and have several children.

      So, the question is, do you think part of the attraction of dolls is filling the mother child gap?
       
    2. Nope. :lol: I don't think that at all. Specially since I personally view my dolls as just artistic pieces of plastic and they spend all their time in their boxes unless I'm taking photos of them (what sort of mom would do that?). That whole mothering instinct thing certainly doesn't seem to be the case with me, though I imagine it is for some people. Normally the people who are into dolls for a mothering aspect lean more towards Reborns and dolls of that nature, from what I've seen.

      This is coming from someone who is a tinies/minis freak, by the way. SDs and more adult looking dolls aren't my cup of tea, either. The cuter the better. ;)
       
    3. I wouldn't analyze it so much. I, too, only have child-like tinies, but that's just because I like things that are little and cute :) There doesn't have to be some subconscious reason behind our aesthetic preferences--sometimes we just like what we like.
       
    4. I'm in my mid-twenties, in no relationship, have no human children. I have quite a few dolls. Only a couple are child-like, and my pukis are faeries.

      Most of the child-like dolls are actually a turn-off for me. I prefer the lovely young ladies and young-to-adult male dolls to the child-like dolls that are all over. They're cute playthings, but not child substitutes in my case. I don't think I could stand having any dolls that look like children unless the collection demanded it, as in the case of my LTF Rachel (bondmate to my SoOm Bygg), and my KDF Bory girl, though she's more a very young lady than a child. Barely still a preteen, really.

      If that's the case for you, I don't see a problem with it. Imagination and lifestyle are different for everyone, even among the childless and childless-by-choice/childfree. Personally I prefer my kids to have paws and fur, but resin might be the way for others ;D
       
    5. Dolls similar to children are not very appealing to me. I find them a turn-off rather than something likeable. For what reason I cannot explain either. I gravitate more towards dolls styled like young ladies and young men. In such case, the appeal towards a doll is very much subjective and sometimes influences from our daily lives play a huge part. But like what the above comments said :

      Get the one that your gut says yes to!
       
    6. I think that it depends on how you treat them more than what you have. If you find yourself calling them your children, talking to them, and carrying them out with you everywhere, and putting their well being ahead of your own, and putting them ahead of real people....

      For me - also in my 20s, married, and no kids, it is certainly not. I think they are pretty and fun but they are still dolls. I mother my pets more for sure. I do plan on having kids, and would right now if I was stable financially.

      For some people it may be, and that is even fine, as long as it does not take away from real life. I think they can be good company to people, kinda like an imaginary friend though. But kids are HARD. Dolls are easy and do not have to eat, poop, or sleep. One of the things that appeals about them.
       
    7. There was a similar discussion to this i beleive. Anyway same as you xMadxScientistx, i'm a mid twenty something. So far all of my dolls are child-like, and i have no mothering insticts nor do i goo and gaa at babies like the rest of my friends do. I don't want any children. I'm straight but have never had a serious relationship nor have i really had a quote on quote "boyfriend". I don't see my dolls as "children" nor do i see myself as a "mom". I think when it comes down to dolls it's just a prefrence. Some ppl like the girl dolls some ppl like boy dolls. Some like them older some younger. So you like dolls b/c they are "cute". Some like them because they are "pretty". I don't think it's your biological clock screaming at you to have a child. You probably like cute things but you don't find babies cute, nor do you want one. It's just a prefrence.
       
    8. I have a very similar situation as you, going on 23 tho, and i'm about to start something I wouldn't have dreamed of (spending over $50 for a DOLL you've got to be freaking kidding me!!!). Thing is I'm not interested in tines but MSDs and the fact that I said that I'm getting a "baby" throws everyone for a loop every once in a while but trust me its probably not motherly instinct but your new found interest in things that are tiny and cute :D Don't look too deep in it or you'll go mad, now unless you start to try hold "real" babies and at every chance you get and have a strong instinct to take care of them (which has be happening to me a lot lately and it doesn't help that they smile or giggle at me ^_^;) don't worry about it just enjoy the glow of owning something small and cute ;D
       
    9. It's possible. I mean, even if you have no desire to have children, that dosen't mean you can't love children and want something to dote on. Resin babies have the luxury of being there to love and cuddle, without the commitment or the cleanup.

      Of course that could be BS and you just like cute, tiny dolls. I mean, would this even be a question if you were a teenager and collecting dolls of that aesthetic?

      I think some people do like to mother dolls without the commitment, I mean my Best Friend carries my dolls around and talks to them, cuddling them (ok I do it too, but I don't talk to them like children, accept for the one I see as a child).
       
    10. I don't think I'd talk to them or carry them around except to swap meets.

      Also, to the person that mentioned reborn: I've seen those, and they just don't grab me. They're both too realistic and lifeless at the same time. I know a lot of people like them. My mom thinks they're cool. Just not my thing.
       
    11. Definite no from me. I don't like kids. Especially, little kids. I mean, they're cute and so but they tend to kinda get on my nerves just a little after a while. I don't really know what to do with them or how to talk to them, either.

      I do call my dolls "the boys" or "my boys" but that's just cos it's easier and shorter than saying "Luken and Morgan" all the time.
       
    12. I've wondered the same about myself. However, I think my pets more likely fill this gap for me instead of my dolls, but... sometimes I feel like I dote upon my dolls enough that they'd be considered my "kids"!
       
    13. An interesting question.... I think most people will turn to a living pet to mother first.

      I can't stand kids myself. I just turned 30 and very much enjoy my alone time. I have a few close friends, but I haven't been in a realtionship for a long time and like it that way. I do reffer to my dolls as "my kids" and joke that they aren't as noisey as real children, but I don't actually see them as child-substitutes. Any mothering instinct I ever had was fulfilled while I was volunteering with cat and kitten rescue, spending many nights bottle feeding kittens and cleaning poopy bottoms. I still have a lot of cats and I dote on them more than my dolls, I think. Most of my dolls are more mature-looking, and I really love my boys. I only talk to them a little, and then about things I'm making for them or photos we're taking.
       
    14. I think it can be for some, though I know it isn't for me. (Unless I have a desire to have grown mutant children, which I wouldn't actually put past my brain entirely.)
       
    15. I laughed, I admit it.

      As for me -- no. Not even remotely close. According to the same traditions quoted (and hell, the ones I was raised in), at my age I ought to have three or four kids. I've got one, and I am happy with one. She gets my mothering instinct. My dolls don't fill any mythical need for more kids; they're just nifty pieces of resin that I get to dress up and take pictures of.
       
    16. I'm in my mid 20's, in a relationship and I know my biological clock has gone off. I now see babies and small children and a stupid part of my brain goes "Hey wouldnt it be awesome to have one of those?!" and then I realise I'm in no position to have kids and I'd be a terrible mother and wonder what I was thinking. I've never connected dolls to this, though, to me dolls are dolls, pets are pets and none of them are child substitutes.
      I can easilly see how the biological urge to have kids could drive a person toward cute, baby-like dolls though. It would be interesting to see if younger girls taste in dolls was in general different to mature women's.
       
    17. Well, I have a real baby, so pretty much all my mothering instinct is taken up tickling a real baby belly and wiping a real baby bottom. Okay well he's more like a toddler now but he's still my baby.

      But, then, the dolls I really like and I'm motivated to buy are all not the cute little child dolls. Even the adolescent or teenaged ones don't do anything for me - I like the dolls that look like they're in their 20s or even some of the MNMs that could pass for 30+. I do think the Pukis are adorable, and I wouldn't mind getting some of the itty bitty baby dolls (I forget who they're by) for a larger doll to cuddle. But that's more for -their- little dollie family, not mine. And I still need my first doll to arrive, and to buy her a mate (my kingdom for a major doll company that does a mature male that looks about 35 or 40 and actually has had a decent meal or three, argh).

      It does bug the carp (yes, carp, I'm full of fish) out of me when people with reborns, or cats, or whatever, compare them to their children - when they don't have children. I can get the strong love and attachment thing, but having a real baby is totally different from a doll that just lays there, or a cat that poops in the designated pooping zone.
       
    18. This has also crossed my mind...now in my mid twenties I've found myself liking those cute childlike dolls I thought would never appeal to me because of their childlike appearance...

      But I've also realized that I'm increasingly pulled to cute and fluffy animals and things in general (actually I've always loved cute things, but it got stronger :)) So I think my sudden liking of tinies has more to do with the fact that I can get cute, colored, patterned, fluffy, plush-animal clothes and they won't look silly wearing one (unlike the 70cm+ boys).

      Mothering instinct...that's unfortunately absent in me (though I came to like babies...until they don't come too close :sweat)
       
    19. I'm sure for some it is, but for me a definite no-no-no. I only like the more adult looking dolls and size (60+ oh dear :sweat) so that's my taste. I'm only turned 20 last year but I'm right now in a long fulfilling relationship with honestly no children planned (Both of our hobbies are too expensive to have a kid, ahahaha). I see more people using a living creature such as pets more often as a child substitute than an inanimate object.
       
    20. For some people, yes. For me, yes to a certain extent. I have two kids ages 10 and 9, and they are wonderful and I love them dearly. But I really miss having babies, and I do think that feeling manifests itself sometimes with my dolls.

      I'm not creepy about it or anything - I don't pretend they call me "mommy", I don't have a dolly nursery with newborns in cribs, or whatever. I don't even have any infant dolls. But sometimes when I miss having babies, I'll go play with my dolls.

      Wow, I sound like a nutter. :doh