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Nervous about stangers holding your dolls at conventions?

May 13, 2016

    1. So at conventions people sometimes take their bjds and it's soo neat and a great time to interact with other members of the bjd community. However, does anyone get nervous or deny people when they try to hold your doll? I want to take my doll to my local Comic Con but I would be afraid of letting other people hold my doll because im scared they'll ran off with it. My bjd is worth a lot so I probably couldn't help but to get nervous when a curious person comes up and wants to know about my dolls and hold it. What are your limits at conventions when it comes to people's curiousity towards bjds and what are you okay with? How do you handle this? Do you mind people holding your dolls? Maybe I'm just being dramatic hahahaa. Thank you for the response! :3nodding::3nodding:
    2. Maybe I'm uptight, but I would not let a stranger hold my doll at a con. If they asked to, I'd just say, "I'd rather not." Just like I wouldn't let them hold a fancy pants luxury purse or hand them $700 just so they can, "see what it feels like."
    3. I used to be more open about it. Like, I would hand off my Soom to anybody who asked at meetups, I'd just keep an eye on them. But unfortunately, I've now had a bad experience where someone sort of picked up my most expensive, most irreplaceable doll off of my sales table at a con and then, despite me saying not to, walked around with him for a half an hour while I followed them and tried to politely say "give it back now or else". I was literally holding onto them at times.

      Now I'd met this person several times at meetups and cons, so I knew them, but we aren't friends. And the several jokes about how she was going to "steal him" did nothing to help my apprehension. I think she thought she was within the bounds of our familiarity with one another, but I didn't, and now I'm incredibly stingy. I mean, I could've found her if she'd actually tried to steal him, because I know where she lives. But still, it left a bad aftertaste, and I no longer feel comfortable letting people hold my dolls.

      I might make an exception for a few of the more trustworthy members of our local community, and only if we're in an enclosed space (like a house or something) where they can't just run off and get lost in a crowd.
    4. I'm one of those con-goers that usually offers to let complete strangers hold my doll when they stop to ask about them. I've always found that non-hobbyists are very careful when handling a doll. A lot of them are already interested in BJD and haven't ever seen one in person - so it's a good ice breaker. (Despite never having had a bad experience, I've started only taking my Dollfie Dream to Cons... not only is she lighter and easier to carry, but I'm less worried about her being damaged, if something bad actually happened. Her parts are a lot easier to replace than resin.)

      I've never had anyone just... pick up my dolls without asking, even at a crowded meet. I think that probably would make a bit nervous about letting others handle my doll.
      #4 Kymera, May 13, 2016
      Last edited: May 13, 2016
    5. I would never let someone hold my doll at a con. I'd be very stern about it too, just because of the sentimental value of my doll. I'd be so crushed if anything were to happen, so I plan on keeping all my dolls securely in my home. Cons in general are far too busy and huge for me to feel comfortable bringing anything of value with me. It is too easy for someone to just take your things and then disappear.
    6. We (our little local community) often participate at local cons with our dolls. And we usually don't let other people touch our dolls, acting all overprotective. And that's understandable. I sometimes let people hold my dolls, but that's only when the place isn't crowded and I can control the situation. And if the person shows interest, asks doll-related questions and really asks to hold it politely. So not just fanatically grabs every doll he sees with no particular purpose. Sometimes I let others interact with my dolls while I still hold it my hands. One of the things that stresses me out, that people have a tendency to start grabbing the face of the doll pretty much right from the start. Even if I tell not to. I do understand it's pretty and all, but where's the guarantee they have clean hands and won't leave a fat stain and won't damage the face-up. The only people that I trust with my dolls are people from our community, since they have dolls themselves and know what to do and how to do it. And my family - they know the true value of my dolls and prefer to keep away or handle it as something precious if they have to interact.
    7. You don't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. If someone asks to hold your doll and you'd rather not let them, just politely say that you don't feel comfortable with that. If they're a decent person they'll understand - and if they're not, then you wouldn't want them handling your doll anyway :P

      I'm the same. I wouldn't mind someone saying 'that's a beautiful wig your doll is wearing, mind if I touch her hair to see how soft it is?' etc etc, but actually passing the doll over? No. That's a different level of trust. I don't even like members of my family holding my dolls, so I wouldn't feel good handing them over to a stranger. It's not being rude, it's just a healthy concern for your (expensive) belongings ;)
      • x 1
    8. I do not think you're being overly sensitive. Some people at doll shows who claim to be collectors can be highly irresponsible when looking at or holding a doll, any doll. I've been on both sides of the table, as a dealer and a collector, and have been shocked at how people who are buyers will treat dolls that are just on display that collectors bring for the bjd display table at doll shows and such, - for the most part, people will stand back and admire, but you always have the screwball that thinks it's ok to pick up the doll and march around with it. I would never dream of touching someone's dolls , I usually ask if it's ok to take pictures for our club scrapbook, at the shows.
    9. Why? You don't have to allow that if you're not comfortable with it ;)
    10. I do allow strangers to hold my doll. Maybe I'm too trusting, but nothing bad has happened. I also do most of my own faceups and blushing so if it got messed up, it wouldn't really be a big deal. If I take something that draws so much attention out in public, I expect people to be curious. I once handed a doll in through a McDonald's drive thru window because the girl was curious about the doll in the car! Ok, looking back, that was probably pretty dumb, but nothing went wrong.

      However, I do know a lot of people (probably most people) aren't comfortable handing dolls to strangers, and that's ok. You don't need to be rude about it, but you can respectfully decline. Maybe offer to turn the doll to different angles yourself so they can see it better, or show them a few poses, but compare it to a very delicate or expensive prop, accessory or weapon or whatever you think might appeal to the person. You wouldn't expect a random person at a con to allow you to try on their cosplay outfit or handle their bag. It's not much different.
      • x 1
    11. This is something to consider. Cons, meets, etc., are a ticklish matter. There is a fine line between being polite and being careful. I am about to go to my first doll con, but I have been to many other types of conferences, meets, shows, competitions. The basic rules of courtesy are the same: ask permission before touching, handling, picking up, any possessions of others which are on display only or for sale. On something like dolls, which, like most everything else, are created to be be touched, the rules are the same. I will be sure to carry hand cleaning wipes, etc., with me, and ask first. The very idea of a certain someone broadcasting that she wanted to "steal" a doll, and then picking up the doll, without asking permission, and worse, walking away with it, could be construed as theft. I do not think this is a new problem, simply something to treat in the usual old way, if courtesy is not being observed, then other measures have always been available.

      I agree with those who have posted before me, ask first, clean hands and bring hand wipes, observe courtesies.

      Would I let someone else pick up an expensive possession that I treasured? Depends. Yes to friends, and acquaintances with the right reputations, no to everyone else.
      Lynn Kat
    12. I've never been to a doll convention but if I was to go my dolls would stay safely at home and I'd just take along an album of pics I think. I'm just not that trusting and I've heard way too many stories of dolls broken or stolen while at such events. If I bought one while at the convention I'd make sure it was locked up securely out of sight after I bought it until I could take it home. The only reason I might walk about with it is if I was trying to outfit it or something and even then I would not let out of the carrier except to try things on and no way I'd let someone else touch it.
    13. I've let strangers hold my doll at a doll show but, it wouldn't had been easy to take off with the doll at all so I wasn't worried in that situation. But a bigger convention, huge crowds, lots of exits... I would have behaved differently.
    14. I have been to quite a few conventions but I haven't taken my doll to a con yet. I plan on bringing two of mine to one later this year.

      I don't mind people holding my dolls as long as I'm super close by and they had my permission to touch them. This mainly applies when I'm at my workplace, home, or meets.

      At a convention, however, I might be more cautious with who I hand dolls to. Most likely I'll be the only one holding my dolls at the con because there are so many people, it would be easy for someone to take off with it.
    15. At local meets I'd be fine with letting others hold my dolls. But I went to a con years ago, when I just got in to BJDs, and participated in a panel. I brought two dolls and people were not shy about grabbing them, yanking off wigs, checking their anatomy, and generally behaving like bratty children. Since I was so new to the hobby I wasn't sure how to react; I didn't want to seem rude- but when one lady scoffed about my "overgrown, over priced Barbie dolls" and tossed my girl on to the table I sort of snapped. I know this was an absolute worst case scenario, but it happened and ever since if I attend a con I flat refuse to let anyone handle my dolls (I usually don't even take them anymore).

      One line that seems to work is, "You can hold my doll if I can hold your wallet."
      • x 2
    16. I am okay with it as long as they ask my permission and I am on hand especially if I don't know the person. I like to be on hand for damage control or to show them things about the doll so they don't ruin their wig, eyelashes, outfit, etc. It also depends on what doll as well. I honestly wouldn't let anyone handle my one off Volks Madoka or IH Luo for example but I have no problems letting anyone handle one of my MSD or tinies.
    17. woah this story sound terrible and i would say since you see them around quite a bit it might have helped your relationship if you told them how it made you feel.... but they seemed completely not self aware so nevermind. I don't blame you for youre decision to be "stingy". i am too sometimes

      I love that line. Maybe I should say it too lol. But wow at those people and how they treated your dolls. People are so inconsiderate it never ceases to boggle my mind.

      I only let someone hold my doll when they were cosplaying the same outfit as my doll. They got a photo op out of it and so did I.. I would be very very hesitant to let a child or someone who didn't know about dolls hold mine
    18. I'd be as comfortable letting a random stranger hold my dolls as I would with a random stranger putting on my (theoretical lol) expensive diamond necklace or a random stranger driving my car. I mean it's one thing if it's a doll meet and though I may be kind of antsy (because I'm antsy about people messing with my stuff anyway and I'm also very anal about keeping them neat and tidy) but I would let someone hold my doll at a meet if they asked first, were polite, and careful. A random person at a con though? Nope!
    19. I think for me it really depends on the doll and who is asking. The people who I run into at cons are typically the same people who I know or see in my local group. So I don't usually mind letting them hold a doll seeing as they might have handled one of mine or multiple ones beforehand.

      When it comes to non doll people, a lot are too afraid or timid to ask because unfortunately some have associated a lot of us doll people with being super crazy or dramatic. So if someone has a genuine interest and has been chatting with me for a while, I offer them the opportunity, and usually before that I have listed the big dolly no noes.
      The few who have handled a doll were so careful, you can see the look of just utter focus on their faces as they're trying to adjust to it. It's funny but also very fascinating to see the sudden joy in their eyes when the "hey, I could get into this" look shows up on their faces. Lol! :D

      My best friends are non doll people, and I have no problem handing my dolls to them during a convention. let's face it, some of them can get heavy and it's nice to have a break for a few minutes to get the blood flowing back into our arms, lol. But going back to the point, my non doll friends are often more careful than my doll friends because they can't gauge a doll's temperament (for lack of a better word) like we do.
      And I think that just automatically gives them the instinct to be incredibly careful.
    20. Omg I'm absolutely using this from now on LOL