Not Fitting In With Other Collectors?

This is my experience exactly. You will never fit in 100% no matter where you go or what you do. Usually when someone worries about 'fitting in' they are letting their anxiety create mountains out of molehills by over thinking little things others don't even notice. So you have a choice. Spend all day working yourself up or take a deep breath and just have fun.

 

I don't think my dolls are real, as in being living little beings. But at the same time I feel attched to my dolls as if they were.

And I do talk as if they were alive and have own personalities, opinions, feelinga and emotions. But I know I'm the one who have created the dolls character. I know it weren't really the doll who choose it's name, style or backgroundstory.

But I like imagine them as something more than just a doll. In a way it's like doing role-play, but only its with your dolls.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with not fitting in with what the majority thinks! I like to hang around BJD groups from both the Western and Eastern community, and man are they different! I don't feel like I "belong" to either community, and I just keep it to myself and enjoy other people's doll.

Personally I am the spiritual bonding type, I think my dolls are just like crystal and natural stones, the more I interact and connect with them then there will be a natural "bond" form between my dolls and I. And if I tell people some of my bonding feel people would just give me that weird look lol

So just be yourself and enjoy the hobby!

 

Although I named my dolls, I don't have a background story for them nor feel attached to them. I even placed them in the closet and only displayed them occasionally. I bought my dolls just because I find them beautiful and love to style them. At first I thought because of this, I am not a 'real' BJD lover because everybody seem to have higher level of love and respect towards their dolls. But there's no rules and condition to be in this hobby (except recast). different people have different way to enjoy their hobby.

 

@Livazy
I would be very interested in hearing the different cultural approaches to dolls if you'd share!

 

Same. I follow BJD collectors from all over the world over on Instagram, and I have to admit, I never really noticed anything other than a mutual admiration for dolls!

 

@Miss_Lovely791
@ChristinasDream

So this is just from what I personally experienced, other communities might be different!

For the Western side (Mostly USA and Europe) I see people more often refer to their doll as "my doll/boy/girl/etc," the picture and doll style are more often "rough" (as an overall style, not saying it's not good!) Such as the pictures will more often be taken at random places without much background setting, some pictures might even be a little blurry XD And the dolls will more often have fuzzy hair, the faceup are less refined, some even no faceup and it's pretty normal XD
Not saying that there are not some really awesome doll/pictures! It's just a more general vibe/style that's accepting within the community, like if I post a picture of my doll with half complete faceup nobody's going to say anything about it.

In Eastern community, owners often talk about their dolls as "my children" (literally,) like I would be saying "my daughter/son" instead of my doll/girl/boy. Spiritual bonding is more common in Eastern area as well, so is the belief of doll being able to hold some sort of spirit essence (well Asia is the birth place of some really awesome ghost stories lol.) And almost every pictures I've seen in the Eastern communities are just super refined. The doll's hair, face up, the picture taking techniques, all are like postcard level. Probably due to the culture difference, if someone post something that's not being accepted within the general vibe, some people will actually post indirect attack/insult under the comment section, which is something that I've witnessed and really don't appreciate.

So this is just a brief overview of what I find to be the most apparent contrast, again not saying either is better, just different!

Add on:
Forgot to mention that in Eastern community Yaoi is a big thing, it'd be completely normal to see owner post a picture with a word or two refering to Yaoi concept, so is some more specific adult fetish topic XD

 

I like using my dolls as inspiration for new characters and even a bit of world and story building. But, they’re dolls to me. They can be a sort of comfort object when I’m upset but overall, they’re not therapy tools or anything like that. If something were to happen to my collection I’d be more upset at the money lost and wasted more than the actual dolls lost.

I enjoy seeing the different ways people collect. We are all here because we like dolls in some way or another, no way is better or worse than any others.

 

With one character doll and two other I just like to play with, I Don't know where do I belong. Maybe the long term costumiser? I mean I work on them when I Feel like, but after a while I not think bonding is my thing. I called it bonding issue, when I sell my first doll, but now I think I hate that doll, because I Can't Pose him and he was like something that not worth the money I payed for him. After the time I spent in the hobby, it's clear, that my dolls are my playing ground without feelings and personality. I Love them, but as dolls, comforting items and blank canvas. Soo complicated... My dollyfriend is the opposite. She just treat them as they are living. She said I not treat them well, they are almost blank and this time all of them is eyeless... (And two of them is headless too. I Am working on some face up, but I just take my Time with it. Laney had two face ups in the Last month, but I Don't liked the results, so she is blank again. ) Long story short: it's not important if you don't belong Anywhere in This hobby. What is important, to enjoy your dolls in your own way.

 

I actually think most people who collect dolls probably don't delve too deep into creating characters and bonding and such. My mother collected dolls and they were, for her, pretty decoration that maybe could be considered an investment in some cases.

 

I am still fairly new to the hobby and I have realised that I seem to prefer the very tiny dolls rather than the bigger sizes. Most collectors seem to like YOSD or MSD and they are lovely but they don't interest me.
But every collector is different and I enjoy looking and reading about other's collections and dolls.

 

My mother is Japanese, so I grew up with decorative dolls in the house. It was totally normal to have finely made dolls in cases as objects of beauty. So, I put my BJD doll out and only move her to dust. Unfortunately, she is too large for a case, but I don't play with her, she doesn't have a name, and I don't like anyone handling her. She isn't part of a story line. I don't really assign any personality to her, but she definitely has a specific aesthetic. This doesn't mean I don't absolutely enjoy having her and admire the artistry that went into her. But, I think it's great if people want to bond with or play with their dolls. I do have a stuffed unicorn that I still sleep with! lol

 

I dont see the way you think as wrong. I knew a few people like that in the past.

As for feeling out of place. Or in my case; unwelcome.
I do but it's mostly because I don't have a lot of friends or anyone really that collects in my area. And I tend to be looked over in my entirety in online communities I join or my pictures ignored. The feeling where if I talk its like everyone raises their voices to talk over me and drown me out. x3

It's what led me back here even though I originally joined to lurk the waitlists and info thread and wiki stuff.

 

For me, I keep my BJD hobby as a hobby that I freely come back to whenever I want to, but the BJD community is not my primary community. My family, extended family, and I are all collectors of some thing or another, so when I got into this hobby, I had that collector mentality moreso than anything else. I also got into this hobby a little later (mid to late twenties) so I was still kind of young enough to form a "bond" with my earlier dolls (in psychology, we were term this as "attachment objects") so yes I have dolls that are extremely sentimental items but in the end they are my collector's items. I also dabbled in shelling characters for stories that I wrote with my best friend (not hardcore but as an amusement for like a year or two) but at least for me the stories/characters were not permanently assigned to each doll. I made attempts at sewing projects but never finished or was not good enough compared to what I see here so that also excludes me from the BJD tailoring/sewing world. Like with my other hobbies, sometimes I might be really into BJDs at the moment (especially if there is a new dolly I like or there is an event that I'm looking forward to potentially attending), or other times I'm just more into my own life or other hobbies that bring me more joy for whatever reason.

I'm nearly forty now, so after much trial and error, I figured out the right groove of having friends and family members into the hobby with me, going to places that were BJD friendly/knowledgeable, or simply waiting for certain BJD related events where I knew a diverse group of people and BJDs would be attending and just being nice to everyone and hopefully they would be nice back.

If I were to relate this to like if I'm doing a Regency era/Jane Austen related thing or a cultural/ethnic thing, I switch gears accordingly and hang out with those that can appreciate it or simply want to spend time with me. Will I be wearing historically accurate clothing? Maybe, maybe not. Will the people I'll be hanging out with be wearing historically accurate clothing or well versed in a certain historical era or author? Probably not (I give them points if they've seen any film or TV adaptations even if it isn't Jane Austen like Bridgerton or Clueless). But I know for sure there will be people out there, probably with History or English Literature degrees or degrees in historical clothing wearing hand made outfits that are historically correct and could easily point out if something is made out of an extant historical pattern versus a modern pattern and if it is made with natural fibers versus polyester. As long as we are all having fun our own way and not imposing views or standards that not everyone can adhere to, it should be fine. Same thing with anime conventions. If I'm going to an anime related convention, I'll probably be hanging out with my core group of family and friends that range from the hardcore anime/cosplayer type to the family member/friend that is only hanging out with us because there will be food afterwards and friendship/family time. Doesn't matter how into or not into a community or hobby they are, as long as we can hang out and have fun, it's a healthy relationship.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is don't feel like an outsider in this community. You do you your way in how you want to be part of this BJD community. There will be people that are definitely different from you and you from them, but that's okay. Diversity in this community makes it all the more better, especially when it gives us insight to new dolly related things!