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Of Friends and Dolls

Sep 10, 2010

    1. Ok, I know there is probably a lot of debates about friends, but this is a bit different... at least I certainly hope it is, if there is one like this please direct me in the direction and delete this thread.

      Question: When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      Further:
      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.

      I am kinda having issues in all areas with that, and didnt see anything specific to those issues.
       
    2. Question: When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?

      Nope -- people are interested in different things, it's not a big deal (some of my friends are also into dolls too, but that wouldn't really have mattered).

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      No, I think it's normal to want to share your excitement. I will admit though, that there were times when I felt a little funny because at the time I was better off financially than my friend who was also into abjds, and I was buying dolls more frequently than her. There was no real reason for me to feel bad, but sometimes those feelings can creep in.

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?

      I have doll people I can talk to, but when it comes to nondoll people I don't go on incessantly about dolls -- I realize that not every one is interested.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      I'd be annoyed, though the best way to handle that is to talk to them about it and make sure that it's not a missunderstanding. I don't need anyone's approval to be into this hobby.

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.

      This hasn't really come up, and it's my money, my dolls, my decision. There's no need to justify anything.
       
    3. I just have this knack to be way too empathetic, even if I think I hurt someone's feelings or do something that may cause them to think any kind of ill towards me I get a bit... nervous and super self conscious. I know it is my own thing, I was just brought up not to brag about what i had, being an only child I got a lot of things but I was super self conscious and always tried to share and such. With having dolls my friend's understand that this is me and they accept but its those one sided feelings of being too conscious of what others may think. (may just be me tho ^_^)
       
    4. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      Nope. My friends might tease me abit but I tease them about their hobbies too. We all like some of the same things and some different things. If I feel out of place there's probably other issues at hand rather than dolls.

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?
      Not really, two of my friends share my BJD interest and we help each other find deals or get things sometimes and the rest all have odd but sometimes expensive hobbies too.

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      I'm sure I annoy my parents abit sometimes but they're pretty supporting about it. I try not to yammer too much to people who dont care, or atleast balance it out.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?
      I am lucky enough that I share this hobby with my best friend. I don't tend to keep people around who are judgemental of 'strange' hobbies. If someone says something that comes off mean and I'm sure they didn't mean it that way I may try to brush it off or even try to talk to them about it so that they understand my feelings.

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      I'm one of the lucky ones whose family believes the 'your money, your call' as long as I'm being responsible about bills and everything else.
       
    5. Question: When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      Not at all. I have friends, and I have people I know in the doll world (dolly friends) that I can talk to about dolls. My 'normal' friends don't care and don't understand the excitement you can have. So I just keep the two seperated.

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      Again, not at all. The only thing I'd feel excited to talk about is faceups, which I recently started doing, and the only person I would talk to about that is with me in art school, so ye.

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?

      I keep online and offline 'lives' seperate. My doll hobby I can share with people from all over the world and other hobbies I can share with the friends that live nearby. I don't talk about my dolls with them, because they either don't get it or make weird remarks that make me enjoy it less to talk about them.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      I would calmly tell them how it makes me feel. But if they're real friends, they shouldn't be judging on a thing like that, even tho they don't mean to. I'm sure they have their 'habbits' aswell.
      One of my friends tells me whenever she comes into my room that my dolls' eyes are crosseyed (when they're not) and in a way that she almost demands that I change it. I just shake it off. I don't bug her in her hobbies either.

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      I get alot of comments like "well you have so many dolls, you must be spoiled/rich/whatever". Thing is, I'm not. I'm a student, without a job. I got my first few dolls by money I had saved, and then I started selling some of my things and dolls I didn't like anymore also. I try not to spend money that's not mine.
      My friends have worse spending habbits than I do, so whenever they point it out, I point it out right back at them.
       
    6. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      Everyone has their interests. I'm still me, I just happen to have dolls now - I can still be interested in other things, I can still go out and have fun (less so now, gotta save for the doll fund:))

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?
      Yes, I don't blatantly go up to my friends and proclaim how much I spent on a doll. "I'm sorry you're having money issues this month... but hey, by the way I just spent $700 on a doll!"

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      Some of them yes, but there are other things I can talk to them about anyway. I hardly talk about my dolls now, it takes a lot of energy to explain things again and again.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?
      "What, you have a problem with the one doll photo? What about the 15 pics of your cat that you've shown me?" : I sometimes forget that dolls aren’t interesting to others, and she forgets that not everyone is cat crazy(I have no problems with cats just a handy real life example)
      If something makes me mad, I just try to see it from their point of view. I’ve found that things that can really piss me off at that moment don’t seem so bad later.

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      Hence why I don't say how much I've spent... keeps it simple. Or if they do know, they should also be informed of the little things I give up buying in order to save for this hobby (Starbucks, nail salon, compulsive shopping, eating/drinking out... you get the idea).
       
    7. Question: When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      No, not really. I mean, sometimes I'll have a friend who just Does Not Get the doll thing, but that's rare, as most of my friends collect something, even if it's spare computer parts or manga or something, and get why I'm excited. Most of my IRL friends either have or are into dolls, too.

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      Not really. Sometimes I worry it could be seen that way, but my friends tend to know I wouldn't brag about something like that - I'm just really excited!

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?

      I'm not the only one, but I think I do sometimes annoy my aunt with my dollspeak, lol. I feel bad about it. I think she just gets tired of hearing about them sometimes, since I talk about my doll plans a lot.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      Pfft. N/A. My best friend got me into this hobby! :P

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really don't have the money for things like dolls.
      It's never come up, but I wouldn't feel the need to defend it too hard. If someone thinks I'm spoiled because of my dolls... well, I say I'm spoiled a lot, since most of my dolls were bought as gifts for me. But if they say I'm a spoiled brat or something, I'd probably get upset and avoid speaking to them for a while. :\ I don't take being insulted lightly. Generally, though, my friends are really understanding and get that, well, we're all in different situations, have different priorities (some people smoke, some people buy clothes or electronics, I buy dolls), and so on. But I try not to go on and on about the prices and such to my friends who want dolls and can't afford them, and so on... if I mention prices at all, it's usually in the context of "I would never pay $X for a Y company doll" or something, lol.
       
    8. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?

      Very yes. I only have two friends who have or want to have them, and they're the only people I can REALLY have a conversation with about it.

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      Hahaha, not bragging, but maybe an annoyance or people feeling strange. I't not like I act strange, I'm just like, "Wow, look how gorgeous this doll is. I want her so bad. :<" And they're all, "Erm-huh. =P"

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?

      There are only two offline friends I have that know about what doll I want and the fact that I'm into them. One's a bisexual male who thinks they're cute, and one is my boyfriend, who thinks their faces are pretty but dislikes their joints. The best thing about my boyfriend is how supportive he is. We were talking about how in the last like nine years or so of my life, I really haven't had a 'Christmas' or much of a 'birthday' (not that I mind a tremendous amount, everyone's just poor around me, but it bothers him), and he goes, "God, I wish I had a job. If I did, I would want to get you a second doll." Which was really sweet of him. D: He wants a job really bad.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      Well. Not a single one of my best, best friends online mind at all. However, my best friend in real life at the moment (because my OLDEST best friend is in Japan right now, and I consider her online at the moment) is my good friend Lance. Who... I dunno, he wouldn't SAY anything? But if he saw how expensive they were, he would be like, "What the hell is wrong with you." and rant rant rant. :<

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.

      I don't get but like two presents for Christmas AND my birthday, which are only two weeks apart - which is usually one friend buying me a dress and one friend buying me a small action figure, I don't get anything from my family, and none of my other friends can afford it, and I don't spend money on anything else besides food. They can freaking deal with it. Plus, I plan to actually learn how to do faceups, body blushing, sanding and wig making, so they -can't- say anything to me in the long run, because I can do commissions with all four of those things and make some money back. It's a hobby that can actually teach you something crafty. Which is awesome.
       
    9. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      yes, and no. I only have one friend who is interested, and I'm helping her choose a doll currently.:) My friends are very supportive about my "odd" hobby, and I'm supportive about theirs. It get's pretty awkward at times when I talk for hours on end about the dolls, and what day I'm on of waiting for my doll to come.
      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?
      No, not really, but an old friend I had thought of my getting incredibly excited and going on and on about BJD's as bragging. She'd start snapping at me, and acting incredibly rude. Otherwise, I'd have to agree with Harlebist on this.
      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      Oh, yes. I have to constantly tell them what I'm talking about, and It causes a hassle. I remember once when I started to shout "MY HEAD IS HERE, MY HEAD IS HERE!" during school. My bjd loving friend was the only one who got what I was saying. I think my friends thought I was a serial murderer or something... Luckily I attract oddballs, so they just laughed. One of my other friends was window shopping with me and kept commenting about how sexy the boys were(she kept commenting on their realistic bodies and parts...). One of my friends is creeped out by my little girl ace because she thinks she looks a lot like her ex-boyfriend...:lol:
      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?
      I am a pretty defensive hot-headed person in general, but luckily I've learned to calm down and think things through. I really don't like it when someone insults a hobby of mine. I just tell them that if I don't go judging people based on their hobby, they shouldn't either, that or give them a two hour lecture on the world of BJD's. thank god my friends are supportive. Sadly, there are some mean idiots out there, and there's just no arguing with mean idiots, you know?
      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      I don't lash out on my friends, but when it's someone who I dislike already, I get mad. My friends also get mad at that person if he/she says anything rude about my hobby. Everyone buys something that is super expensive and that they love, even if others say it was a waste of two hundred to four thousand bucks. For me, it's a BJD. For others it may be something like cheese, cars, lamps, or even bottles of water. What's wrong with loving cheese enough that you have a whole room dedicated to it (the cheesy room)-cheese never harmed anyone anyhow (i think...?). Replace cheese with bjd and you got my opinion in a nutshell.
       
    10. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      Yes, sort of? I mean, my friends seem to like (or at least tolerate) my boys, but I guess "out of place" is the wrong word for it in some situations. I have no clue what the word I'm actually looking for is :sweat


      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?
      Maybe? I don't know, I don't really tell people about another incoming doll until they arrive. The last time that happened it was because a non-doll friend of mine was interested in the sculpt a few months ago, so I thought they'd be curious in look at him <3



      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      Yes... ;-; An example of which being I'll go into a store and say "OMG that'd be PERFECT for Jeremy! :D OH and that's JUST June's size! :D" I don't do it excessively, but again, I feel like the friends I do have just tend to tolerate it...


      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they don't mean to come off that way. How do you react?


      -sigh- This recently happened to me... a close friend just snapped and started yelling at me for "wasting my money on dolls and **** for them." It kind of hurt... especially since I just put my absolute dream, holy grail of a doll on layaway and for her to strike him down like that as a "waste of money and a piece of ****,".... it hurt. I mean, I can't count the dozens of times they've told me something they've recently bought that's rather pricey while her family's "so poor" but I don't say anything of it. And I'm not saying anything now, I'm just giving an example...
       
    11. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?

      Nope. :) All my friends have their own hobbies and quirks, so we all meld together pretty well without judging or feeling out of place.

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      No, we all converse about our hobbies and interests. I don't think discussion of hobbies comes off as bragging unless that is the intention of the person and becomes the all-encompassing part of the conversation. I don't generally bring dolls into the discussion with them to say 'Oh hey I bought x today for my doll!' I normally just discuss face-up's and restringing/sueding/sewing issues or thoughts and concept ideas.

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?

      I am the only one of my offline friends who owns a doll. And no, I don't. (see above answers ;))

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      My best friend has dolls of her own, so no. she doesn't judge me. I do have a friend who did judge me right off the bat as soon as I mentioned collecting. I just don't talk about dolls to her at all.

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      No, my friends who don't have BJD's have no interest in buying a BJD. I have one friend who might have been interested in it, but she was the above mentioned critical one (before I even had a doll) and I don't mention them to her at all. If I did need to defend my hobby or ways of getting money, I'd point out the fact that I am very frugal in my purchasing, and (for the most part) budget so it does not effect the rest of my life or savings. I don't need to defend my finances to anyone but myself (and maybe the IRS at some point ;) ) and my own conscious. Should it ever be mentioned I can always comment on how I've cut down on unnecessary purchases to afford the dolls and accessories.
       
    12. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?

      Yes. Very much. I don't have any other friends who are into dolls, and some have outright said that they hate them. None of my friends collect anything or even have hobbies at all, so no one really relates.

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      No, I don't think it's bragging~

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?

      One of my more tolerant friends don't seem to mind too much, but I think it'd get on her nerves if I did it too much.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      I shut my mouth. I might try to explain why I like them and what makes them special, but I don't get defensive. I never want to cause a conflict.

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      I generally don't. My friends think it's crazy enough, so I don't get into the price.
       
    13. Question: When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      No. :) My friends are all slightly strange and we're into video games, tabletop rpgs, and toys already. They really like them.

      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging? Sometimes even though I know I'm not. My friend with a doll is actually better off than my husband and me, but she and her husband also have three small children. I don't put down her lovely girl Chiyo and I would never mention a new doll if they were going through financial troubles etc.

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      I'm not, but I'll answer this in reference to my husband. He doesn't have a doll but he loves to listen to me talk about them, so I don't feel that I am annoying him. He also helps me figure out clothing, colors, and even names at times.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?
      The same as I would to anyone else. Shrug, smile, and say it's my brand of crazy money "wasting". Some choose video games or tattoos for happiness, I choose dolls.

      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      Well I don't think I'd ever tell them exactly how much they were worth or even let them in on that in the first place; something about bragging and whatnot. Regardless, unless my fundraising/spending is illegal or harmful to myself or others, it's none of their concern how I get the money or what I spend it on. Happiness comes in different ways and dolls is mine.
       
    14. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      No, not really. Discounting my doll friends, one of whom I sharehouse with, my non doll friends are genenrally artists and accept the hobby well (and with an insatiable appetite for character design that leads to excited discussions about the psyche of a kids cartoon character, it's the least of a list of strange hobbies) and generally have rather odd hobbies themselves.


      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?
      Yes. Very yes. Last year I was out of work, so I scrimped for every penny to get dolls or stuff for them. Late last year I got an exceptionally good, rather highly paid job and I can now buy without much effort. However, a lot of my doll friends are either students or unemployed (or both) and I often feel bad when I see how hard they saved for the one doll they have on four month Layaway when I've just bought another one outright and am happily chattering away about her. I kinda know how it feels to be on the other end...


      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      I'm not the only offline friend to collect, as mentioned, but I can still contribute. My closest friend isn't a doll person- she likes to look at them, but has no interest aside that. I often find myself trying to explain a new buy or something I made, or a face up or a new release and she looks nonplussed and slightly glazed over...
      I've learnt the comprimise- she's also my comic writer, so we now doll talk in reference to their characters.


      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?
      I don't think she ever would, but should she, we're comfortable and close enough for me to give her a good telling off for being a snob.


      Defending your hobby or ways of getting money or spending the money to friends who really dont have the money for things like dolls.
      It's come up once actually, when a friend was hard on her luck, rather unwell and without a car, she got a little be snappy about me spending "foolishly" on dolls. But my simple retaliation was that I have enough saved in a seperate account to cover any sudden, unexpected events like car accident, illness or vet bills- I keep it seperate and untouched for that reason. I can afford to run my car, feed myself and my cat, my insurances are fine and my bills are paid and I have enough to lavish on birthday and Christmas gifts. I have no debts. Yes I'm saving for a house and a holiday but I'm in no hurry. So why can't I spend on dolls? They make me happy, and I personally much prefer that silly happiness than buckets of cash.
       

    15. Question: When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      Well, I don't actually have my doll yet (It's coming!!), so when I hang out with my friends and they are with they dolls, I just try not to feel that way, they are my friends and they understand me, so I take my camera and I spend the day taking pictures of all their dolls. And when they talk about the face up or what ever I try to say my opinion about it.

      Further:
      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?
      No. I don't think that at all, I think because when we talk about dolls we all fell excited.



      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      Well...with my friends that doesn't has a doll or do not like them, I just don't talk about it. There are so many things that we can talk about. I mean the dolls are only a hobby, no my live.

      If you have your best friend through so much, and they start to seem to judge you on your doll hobby, even if they dont mean to come off that way. How do you react?

      Well, I will ask them why they judge me about that, I mean, it's my hobby I'm the one that like it, the don't. So they don't have to judge me about what I like.
       
    16. I feel my non dolly friends really don´t get this. Though they are quite charmed by the dolls one way or another.. (bad way, or good way, they never passed unnoticed)
      But i mostly gather with dolly friends who are now, just great friends whose dolls brought together
       
    17. When it comes to your friends, do you ever feel completely out of place because of your dolls?
      Not really. I tend not to mention dolls much to them when we hang out. I don't randomly take my dolls out.

      Further:
      Do you ever feel like your excited talk about a new doll or new things you make or such, translates as bragging?

      My doll babble tends to become excited about new things, but I don't think it ever becomes bragging.

      If you are the only one of your offline friends who owns a doll, do you ever feel like you annoy them with your doll speak?
      Luckily this is not the case for me. Either way, I curb the amount of doll babble with my non-doll hobby friends unless I'm really excited about something. There are plenty of other things I can talk to them about anyway. ^_^
       
    18. I don't feel out of place because of my hobby - we all enjoy different things. They are curious about the hobby and one of my friends has slowly been gathering parts whenever she can afford them but it's pretty much on a backburner. It all comes down to limited funds really. Since I don't want them to feel bad I don't really talk about my hobby around them unless something interesting comes up.
       
    19. This sounds like a personal-blog dilemma, or several different questions instead of maybe one main idea.
       
    20. I kind of feel out of place. I try to talk to them about such things, but they never seem to listen. I think they think I'm sort of dumb for wasting so much money on like figures, and wanting so badly to spend a lot of money on a doll.