Other people handling your dolls

I'd probably just add the comment that he's expensive and fragile, so they'd know he's not a child's toy. That warns most people off wanting to handle them in a polite way. But I have to deal with that sort of thing when I take my iguana out. Luckily he's a pudding and loves to be stroked, but I never let others hold him and children may touch with only one finger. That seems to let kids know that they shouldn't grab while still letting them have a tactile experience. They always touch so carefully when I ask that. It works a charm!

 

Eeek!
When are we gonna LEARN?!
NEVER NEVER NEVER expose our dollies to the common run!
Transport in a CASE
display (or not) in an out-of-thoroughfare place...

They are for us alone!

My own mother-in/out-of-law... when I showed her my freshly painted Danbi head RAKED HER FINGERNAILS DOWN HIS FACE and said "Oh she's pretty! What is she made of?"

Argh! Bangs head on wall.. I shouldn't look at these posts... argh!

Haha
Raven

 

up 2 u...

i would probbly let them unless he was something special [maybe kohya and tohya would be untouchables ]

 

If it were me and someone told me, "Please, don't touch," after I asked politely if I could 'see' the doll, I would be a little embarrassed above all things. I get embarrassed really easily. Of course it wouldn't go into being upset... I'd just wonder, "Gosh, do I really look like I'd break it?" or something. But then, I'm usually very careful around breakable things because I'm a little clumsy by nature and I positively hate breaking things, especially other peoples' things.

I do think, however, that you have every right to dictate (yes, dictate) who can and can not touch your doll. The general public doesn't really know about these dolls, how expensive they are and how breakable they can be, or how delicate.

I intend on taking Phaerie out with me a lot, and while I never really get approached by strangers in public (must be the purple zebra-striped purse...) I must admit that I've thought about it as well. Phaerie will be more attractive to passers-by than I, myself, am, and I just can't stop thinking about checking out at a store and having the cashier stare at her or something. I don't know what I'll say if someone asks to hold her. I have a real problem telling anyone, "No." x_x

I'll probably do as a lot of other people would... If it's an older lady (I work at JCPenney so I work with a lot of older women though I'm only 16) then generally they'll be more careful around stuff... Most of them had children and stuff so they can be more gentle. Right? So I think older folk, or my friends and relatives will be okay. I just have to say, "Please, be careful. She's very delicate and special to me." Maybe it's just that I live in rural-ish Iowa... I guess we do have a little of that small-town homey feeling.

Not to say that our town's entirely safe, though. I've gotten far too much stuff stolen to think that. Which is why it scares me so much. @~@

Good topic. I don't think it was rude. As long as if you say it politely as you can. There's really no way to say, "Please, don't touch," politely enough, though... People are bound to get offended, but hopefully they'll understand!

 

You'd think most folks would do as you do...I show pedigreed cats and I can't begin to tell you how many just reach in to touch the cats...we almost all have signs on our benching cages saying (sometimes humorously) Do not touch the cat...announcements throughout the day say do not touch the cats, but some even go as far as to OPEN the cages to try to touch the cats and some even get nasty about it when you say no, like "But I paid $5 to come in here"...to which I respond, "Yea, but I paid $110 in entry fees to be in here, so DON'T TOUCH MY CATS WITHOUT ASKING!"

One woman managed to touch one of my cats before I could stop her, got uppity when I asked her to stop, so I started patting her kid.

I've had better luck getting folks to ask first before touching my dolls...yeesh!

Nancy

 

As people said... they are your dolls, and you have to establish your own comfort level. If somebody asks me nicely, I say sure and hand them my doll; if I knew they weren't familiar, I'd say something like "please be very careful, she is breakable" or something like that. But that's me... you have to decide what's right for you, and you didn't want him to touch david bowie (tee hee).

I'm very trusting at meetups and I do confess sometimes I'm a little surprised at how fellow doll owners treat the dolls - I mean I play with mine, I don't handle them with kid gloves, but boy I don't hold them upside down by their feet or leave them standing and walk away. So now at meetups, esp big ones, I don't bring everyone, and I try to make sure I'm sort of around. I don't think anybody's going to TAKE them, never that, but I've seen enough of the behavior described above that I am a little nervous.

I want people to hold them, though, and am pleased when somebody wants to see one of them. I am coming back to edit this to add though... that if I saw somebody reaching for the face, I'd say something too. Anybody touches Memphis' face, they are gonna get whacked...

 

I was actually stunned that someone let me touch their dolls. O_O
I think a doll that expensive and beautiful should be handled with respect.
The girl I met just pushed her doll on my lap when I was looking at it from the distance. That was the final nail on my coffin to get one for myself, so I thank her greatly for that. xD

 

If someone asks to touch mine, I usually let them touch their hands or pet their hair, as I've touched them a lot on the hands. If they move towards the face, I generally say, "Ah, please don't touch him/her there, his/her make-up is very fragile- even I don't touch him/her on the face!" And if they ask to hold them, unless I know the person in question, I respond, "Well, s/he's a whole lot heavier than she looks. ^^; " That usually answers their questions and isn't rude at all.

 

I'm with Scarlet, at doll conventions and such I am quite liberal with letting people hold or play with my dolls. At IFDC last August Armand literally got passed person to person as no one there had seen a Hound yet and they were all fascinated with him.

Non doll people on the other hand, I am a wee bit more cautious, not overly so, but I watch closer. And children under 12 are not allowed to so much as touch them, kids can be outragously rough, and they have no concept of how expensive these particular dolls are.

Like Sher said, you have to establish your own comfort levels, but I do think explaining to people why you feel as you do, would be helpful so they have a chance to understand you and respect your feelings.

 

I would *never* let a stranger touch the doll, especially in public, gah, I'd cry. I would probably insta freak in public about them dropping it. I would explain to the person who asked to hold him that he was simply too precious to me though. I've let my very close friends touch Michael, because they know how absolutely important he is to me and the same applies to my mother and brothers. Oh thought I'd add, I'd never worry about anyone midhandling a doll at a meet-up though, I'd have no problems whatsoever with a fellow doll owner touching Michael.

I think a lot of people on this board would think it crazy, but I let my 3 year old cousin hold him and help me put him to bed. The thing is, she's the sweetest kid, and she would never even touch him if I didn't offer to let her. And she treated him just like he was a very small person. I doubt I'd let any other children touch him though, as I just know completely that my cousin is a very careful child, even if she is only 3! I think I'm just lucky that she isn't a "see and grab" child.

 

It really depends on which doll they want to touch/hold...and who the person is. My Lishes seem indestructible, so I don't mind people touching them so much. And if the person seems gentle, I don't worry too much. But I've had some people play with a doll that were very rough, and it's made me more careful. I'm completely fine with my family touching them...they're very respectful and treat my dolls well. My Narae I'm nervous about people holding, only because she's a bit more fragile, and her faceup is so delicate. I think you'd need a hammer to make any dents in my Lishe's faceups - they're that well sealed... But Narae's face seems very delicate. She's also like a ragdoll and a bit floppy, and people don't expect that - so I'm always worried she'll slip out of their hands. The Dollshe boys - and Heath - they're so huge and heavy that people generally just hold onto them tightly and have them sit in their laps, which is cool.

But in general I'd have to say that it really depends on who wants to hold my dolls. I'd be less inclined to let a stanger touch them...but if they seem nice and gentle, I might. But I'd be ready to pounce at any moment! ;>)

 

I wanna hold a Hound or a Bermann sometime.... KIDNAP!!

 

For me personally, I'd never ask to hold another person's doll. I've seen them on display at the Volks stores, but I've never actually seen a doll that belongs to someone who loves them the way everyone here does. At the most, I'd touch his/her hair if their owner offered, but I'd thank them and politely refuse an offer to actually hold one who belonged to someone else. Part of it is the extremely thorough "we look with our eyes, not our hands" drilling that I received when I was younger; part of it is being terrified of damaging him/her somehow. I'm not actually all that clumsy, but I've always had a huge worry of breaking other people's property, and knowing how much love and money goes into these dolls I'd be even less inclined to want to get close. I can admire their beauty perfectly well without touching them!

On the other hand, once the brat gets here I can't see myself being overly-overly protective of him. Unless I were to get a bad vibe from a person or they were unnecessarily rude or pushy, I'll probably be fine with letting people touch and hold him (as long as I can hover by their shoulder while they do so). Part of it is him: he's such an attention whore and he's always loved people noticing and admiring him, and as well as that I'd like to try and let people see a little of what I see in him. But if I say 'no', then I mean it and I expect others to respect that.

 

Well, I'm VERY cagey with Mikos- I don't like people touching him or holding him, but having said that, I would let someone hold him provided I trusted them- or they gave up one of their dolls in return.

Yesterday in Cardiff I was honoured to be allowed to carry around a lovely doll called Luca, and his owner carried Mikos. And that was fine- I kept an eye on him, and she no doubt kept an eye on Luca too! The other person I let hold him was a checkout girl at the supermarket, who fell in love with him on sight and who certainly wasn't going to run off with him.

I'd also like to add that if someone hadn't let me hold one of her dolls, I probubly wouldn't have one myself. I was at a convention in London, and a group of girls were out with their dolls. I started talking to them and suddenly had a Magical Michael (or at least a dollfie dressed as one) put into my arms. He was lovely, and literally gave me a feel for these dolls and what they're like. I'm very greatful to that girl AND her doll!!

Still, I hear what people are saying here: I wouldn't let someone in the street hold Mikos, nor would I let my 26-year old brother touch him. If I did, he would be broken/stolen or drawn on in a matter of seconds....

 

It depends so much on the situation, for me . . . and on the doll. I do tend to offer the chance to hold my CH Sia when anyone shows reasonably informed interest (as in, "Oh, is that one of those resin dolls from Asia? I've read about them, but I've never seen one in person.") Claudine goes out in public more than the boys do because she's lighter to carry, her stringing is nice and firm, and she doesn't have exceptionally delicate features or fingers that might catch on a sleeve or anything. I met some wonderful people at a doll show last spring who were thrilled to hold Claudine when I offered, and said that after holding her they definitely wanted to find out more about BJDs. I figured that anyone who knew enough to identify her as a BJD would know enough to handle her carefully, and sure enough, that turned out to be true.

On the other hand, a friend of my mother's once *walked across a room* to snatch Claudine from where she was sitting (minding her own resin business) and started to manhandle her. I tried to be cool about it, because I didn't want to upset Mom (who was seriously ill) by being broody and possessive, but when the friend said, "Oh, that's so heavy" and started to let go of everything except one leg, I swooped down and took Claudine away. I said something about these being pricey dolls, and the resin being more fragile than you'd think, so nobody actually got mad, but . . . nope, no more sitting around in public when grabby non-doll people are likely to show up. However, Evelyn (Mom's friend) was definitely the exception--everyone else I've met has been almost afraid to touch. (A good friend of mine was mildly creeped out by Anju, my 60cm Narin, when she touched his hand and it moved "on its own." Hee.)

Even at meetups, I ask before touching, unless the owner actually hands the doll to me or I know both the owner and the doll *very* well.

 

LOL! I have no doubt that you will hold Grimm and Ash at some point. And I know Jeni would like to visit with you! Maybe you can come up in October, when we're having a small gathering...hopefully. You can hold them to your heart's content!

 

oo you have to frisk me before I leave, I tell you I'm gonna smuggle Jenibelle outta that house... lol... I miss seeing her! I demand Jenibelle pics!! :p :-D

 

Sher said
"oo you have to frisk me before I leave, I tell you I'm gonna smuggle Jenibelle outta that house... lol... I miss seeing her! I demand Jenibelle pics!!"

Ahh, back off Sher, I have first dibs on heisting Jenibelle outta there

 

Jeni is looking very surprised....and Stone is looking worried! LOL...... You can share, girls...of course, Jeni may never recover. :>)

 

wonder if we could charge admission for the ensuing wrestling over jenibelle match... I'd win, i'm chubby AND determined.